


Rough Handling

by DarkJediQueen



Series: Rough [1]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Canon Child Death, Collars, Consensual Infidelity, Drug Use, Gags, Homophobic Language, Impact Play, M/M, Rough Sex, Unrequited Love, canon character death, slight d/s tones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-03-30 17:19:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 131,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3945181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkJediQueen/pseuds/DarkJediQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Spencer joined the BAU he never saw himself getting into a sexual relationship with Hotch. He didn't see it lasting over seven years either. And, he didn't see his superior falling in love with him, that really blindsided him. Now Spencer has to decide for himself if the relationship was purely sexual or did he hide his own feelings for his superior.</p><p><b>Note</b>: This story starts before the show so please heed my tags/warnings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Proposition

**Author's Note:**

> **Beta** : [Reidemption](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie_Remington/pseuds/Reidemption) & [Rivermoon1970](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivermoon1970/pseuds/Rivermoon1970)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue Ridge Strangler, Pre-Show

Spencer heard the knock but figured it was just in the room next door. On his left was Hotch's room but on the other side was random guests. He turned his head back to read. Ten pages later, the knock sounded again. This time it was louder and there was no mistaking that it was his door. He slipped his glasses on as he laid his book down on the nightstand. He didn't know who it could be.

Opening the door, he was surprised to see Hotch standing there. He figured his superior would have been in bed already. Taking a step back, he allowed Hotch to slip inside the room. He wondered if he had done something wrong on the case. He quickly tried to remember everything he had done. This had been his first case on the team and Gideon hadn't come with them.

"Hotch, is something wrong?"

"I..." Hotch stopped walking and turned to look at him. It was a gaze that made the younger man shiver. He had seen looks like that before. Never directed at him but at others. But Hotch was married and from what Gideon had told him, Hotch was very happily married. The kind of couple that gave those who looked at them a sugar high. 

"Hotch?" Spencer winced when his voice squeaked.

There was no verbal answer. Instead Hotch grabbed his face and pulled him into a rough kiss. It shocked the younger man so much that by the time he pushed Hotch away, the older man had buried a hand in his hair and his other arm was around his waist but the man stepped back at the push.

"You’re married," Spencer said, scandalized. He kept walking backwards from his superior until the bed was between them. He didn't know what to do. This was so far out of his comfort zone. 

"I am. I'm sorry, Reid. I just..." Hotch ran his hand down his face and then moved to the desk, pulling out the chair and sitting down. "I'm doing this all wrong. Have a seat, please."

Spencer sat on the edge of the bed, only turning his head to look at Hotch. He watched as the older man composed himself. That had him shook up as much as anything else. He hadn't known the man long but he seemed so stoic.

"My wife, Haley, is a very prim, proper, and fragile, in some aspects, woman. We've been together since high school. It wasn't until after college that I figured out a few things about myself. Chief among them, I'm bisexual. Second, when I am under stress, I can get and want to get rough during sex."

Spencer was still unsure what that had to do with Hotch barging in and kissing him but he'd go along for now. "Okay?"

"Haley didn't like the rough sex. She was frankly freaked out by it. We didn't have sex for a month. At the end of that month, she came to me. She hated that she couldn't give me what I needed and she wouldn't want me to resent her for it. So as long as she is told, before or after, it's only with a man, and never a pro, I can get what I need." Hotch stopped speaking but he wasn't looking at Spencer. It was time for the younger man to process what he'd just been told. 

"I still don't understand."

"I meant to come in and just talk to you. See how you are doing with the case, broach the subject in a roundabout way."

"What made you kiss me?" Spencer was good with words. Words were easy. Feelings, emotions, sex were not. He'd had sex but that had been more to lose his virginity than anything else. 

"The glasses. You looked so innocent and I lost myself for a moment."

"As far as I know," Spencer started but Hotch never looked up. "You've never lied to me. It doesn't fit with what I know of you and what I've been told. Kissing a subordinate could ruin your career, being caught having sex with one while married, that would destroy it." Spencer didn't know how to take Hotch's words so he just started to speak. He felt a little worried at the innocent comment. He knew how young he looked. He also felt a little proud that someone as handsome as Hotch wanted to have sex with him. No strings attached sex. He trusted Hotch's words but even with as much as the conversation would suck, he needed to speak with Haley if it was going to become a thing. He could understand where Hotch was coming from. If he didn't want a pro, then it was random sex with someone from a bar or a club and that was dangerous, they both knew that better than most. 

Did Hotch want sex tonight? Spencer asked himself. The case had ended in the most horrible way. The entire team was upset and frustrated. Spencer was actually kind of happy that Gideon hadn't been with them. He wouldn't have taken the end well. 

"What do you want from me?" Spencer looked at Hotch's face for the first time since they'd started talking.

Hotch stood up and moved over to stand in front of where Spencer was on the bed. The younger man fidgeted and Hotch smiled. "Are you a virgin?"

Spencer could only shake his head no. The older man smiled at him before he leaned over to grab his face again. This was a different Hotch than he was used it. 

"I want to make you lose control." Lips crashed onto Spencer's and the younger man was toppled backwards, Hotch on top of him. As soon as they were settled, Hotch let go of his face and grabbed his wrists instead jerking them above his head. He gasped and then Hotch's tongue was in his mouth. While he'd had sex, kissing was something he hadn't had much practice at. The feel of the tongue on the roof of his mouth made him moan. He felt Hotch shift and couldn't stop the whine when he thought he was leaving. The agent just chuckled and re-gripped both of Spencer's wrists with one of his hands. The now free hand skimmed down his arm and continued down to his pants. 

"Yes or no?" Hotch asked as he pulled his face back enough to look in Spencer's face. The younger man opened his eyes, surprised he'd closed them. "Reid, I need you to answer me verbally."

Spencer looked up at the older man. He knew the type of man he was, even if he said yes now, if he changed his mind halfway through, Hotch would stop. He didn't know how far he wanted to go but he wanted the passion he could see in the older man's eyes. The two times he'd had sex were clinical, perfunctory. It had been good but nothing like what Hotch was offering. What he was already feeling from the man on top of him.

"Yes."

Hotch smiled down at him and started undoing Spencer's belt one handed. "If I do anything you don't like. Let me know."

Spencer could only nod as the second the last word left his mouth the older man swooped down and licked the side of his neck. His pants loosed and a hand snaked inside, taking his half hard cock in hand. As if it was what his cock had been waiting for, the second the warm hand closed around it, it hardened the rest of the way.

"So eager," Hotch whispered in his ear as he pulled his hand away. A little shifting and it was sliding down his hip and a couple of fingers teased between his ass cheeks. "You said you aren't a virgin. You've fucked a woman?" He waited for Spencer to nod before he pressed a finger harder against Spencer's opening. The younger man keened at the feelings that rush through his body. "Been fucked here?"

"Oh, God," Spencer moaned. 

"Tell me, Reid. Have you let another man fuck you?" The finger was pressing harder and rubbing in the best way and Spencer couldn't think. Finally, he was able to toss his head side to side. A feral smile appeared on his superior's face. The hand was pulled from his pants and he was released. Hotch leaned back onto his knees. "Strip. Quick."

Hotch slid off the side of the bed as Spencer did and started to strip. Spencer was thankful that he had worn a sweater that day instead of a button down as he didn't think he would have been able to unbutton the shirt. Gravity dropped his pants to the ground so all he had to do was step out of them. He jerked his sweater over his head before grabbing his boxers and shoving them down to step out of. He didn't look at Hotch, he knew if he did he'd stop and look. His undershirt was last after using the carpet to step out of his socks. Before the shirt had cleared his head, he felt a hand on his chest, shoving him onto the bed. He landed with a bounce and before he could settle his legs were jerked apart and lifted to where the bottoms of his feet were on the bed. Hotch settled on top of him, pulling the shirt the rest of the way off. Spencer blinked to clear his eyes and saw that Hotch was naked. He reached up to pull his glasses off but the older man stopped him.

"Leave them on." Hotch's hand moved from his own to his hair, grabbing a handful and using it to pull his head to the side, hard. It sent a spike of arousal through his entire body, making his cock jump."I won't mark you where anyone can see but can I anywhere else?"

"Yes," Spencer breathed.

At the first nip on his chest, Spencer lost all control. He touched, pulled, petted, and ran his nails down every part of Hotch that he could reach. He knew he'd be covered in love bites and bruises in the morning but he didn't care. When he'd had sex before, it had never felt like this. Hotch started to thrust their groins together, and it nearly made him come. Then the other body was sliding down his. He whined when the pressure disappeared from his cock. 

"You make the best noises. I'll have to remember that I may need to gag you in some situations." Hotch bit at his hip and Spencer knew there would be teeth marks from that one. He thrust up, his cock dragging across Hotch's cheek. When the older man swallowed him whole, Spencer bit the side of his hand to stop himself from screaming. Spencer had never been given a blowjob before. Hotch's mouth had him near sobbing in pleasure. 

"Oh, God. Hotch, I'm..." Spencer gasped as teeth were raked up his cock as Hotch pulled off. The older man took him in hand and after a few pumps he was coming. He felt the warmth land on his stomach. Trying to catch his breath to ask Hotch what he wanted done to him, he nearly came up off the bed when the first lick swiped at his hip. Looking down, he saw that Hotch was licking up the semen. He moaned at the sight and it caused the other man to lift his eyes up. Eyes locked, Hotch cleaned him up. By the time he was clean, Spencer was half hard again. 

"Ever tasted yourself?" As Spencer opened his mouth to answer, Hotch surged up. He gripped and held his head still using his hair and then shoved his tongue in his mouth. A salty, weird taste exploded across his taste buds. He felt more than heard the moan from the older man as he licked inside Hotch's mouth trying to chase the flavor of himself. "Turn over."

Spencer did as he was told, laying down on his stomach. Hotch waited until he'd settled comfortably down before he started on Spencer's back. It was treated to the same treatment as his front had been. By the time Hotch was the base of his spine, Spencer was thrusting into the bed. The older man stopped his tasting and stretched out along his body. He felt Hotch line his cock up between his ass cheeks and started to thrust. Spencer expected there to be a little chafing but he found that Hotch had lubed himself up with something. 

"For now, we'll just do this." Hotch reached up and linked their hands before stretching them out above Spencer's head. It meant that Hotch was only braced on his body, holding the lithe man down. He could only move his head. His hips only thrust on the bed now when Hotch thrust. The friction from the bed sheets felt wonderful on his cock and Spencer couldn't think of anything except the breathing in his ear, the thrust of his cock on the bed, and the thrust of Hotch's cock along his ass crack. "When I fuck you for the first time, I'm going to make you beg for it. Make you beg to be filled with my cock."

"Please, Hotch," Spencer begged but he wasn't sure what he was begging for. To be allowed to come or for the older man to fuck him. He didn't care, he just wanted.

Hotch started thrusting harder and harder, faster and faster. The bed was squeaking constantly now with the force of the thrusts. A flare of pain at his shoulder, inches from his neck pushed Spencer over the edge. He buried his face into the pillow in front of him and screamed his completion. The pressure on his back was lifted at the same time his hands were released. He didn't care. He was boneless. He'd never come twice so close together. Hotch grunted above him and he felt warmth on his ass cheeks and back. 

Spencer was dozing slightly when he felt a rag wipe up his ass and back before he was gently rolled over onto his back and his front was cleaned as well. Hotch smiled down at him as he removed his glasses as he trailed his other hand up his thigh then hip and chest. The hand stopped when it grabbed his chin and held him still while he was kissed again. Hotch was fucking his open and willing mouth with his tongue. 

"Thank you, Reid. That was just what I needed." Hotch rolled part of the comforter into a small roll and then pushed at Spencer until the younger man rolled onto the clean sheet. The dirty comforter was tossed onto the floor. "We can talk tomorrow after we get back to Quantico."

"Sure, Hotch," Spencer mumbled. He felt a sheet being tossed over him and then the click of the door as it closed. He stopped fighting the tiredness he was now feeling. He thought that he must have been in his half asleep state longer than he thought because Hotch had been dressed before he'd cleaned up Spencer.

The younger man tried not to think too much about how he'd just had sex with his married superior. He'd worry about that when he woke up and had drunk a pot of coffee.


	2. Meeting the Wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post Chapter One, Pre-Show

Spencer finished the file on the Blue Ridge Strangler in only an hour. He was sure it was longer than it needed to be but he'd rather include too much than not enough. He placed the folder in his done box and turned to the computer, frowning at it. He hated reading files on the computer. It slowed him down too much. He looked up at Gideon's office to find him working on a case file as well. He wondered if he and Hotch would mind him going to the records rooms to read the actual files not the scanned versions? He'd get so much more done in a lot less time.

"Do you need something, Reid?" Hotch asked from behind him. Spencer spun in his chair to look at him. He hadn't noticed the older man leaving his office nor him sneaking up behind him.

"I'm still trying to get caught up on the case files. I read paper files quicker. Reading on computer screens slows me down a lot."

"So you read at a normal human pace then?" Hotch teased. 

Spencer felt the blush on his cheeks. He got along well with Hotch and even Gideon. JJ and Morgan were the odd ones. He didn't know what to think of them yet. 

"Go ahead to the records room. Take your phone; if we need you, we'll call. Feel free to go there to read when all your paperwork is done after cases. Just let Gideon or I know."

"Thanks, Hotch." Spencer grabbed his phone and messenger bag before heading away from his desk and out of the bullpen. He spent hours reading file after file and slipped a few in that he didn't have to read but wanted to. He'd lost track of time and was surprised when Hotch just appeared at his side. He squinted up at the man for a few seconds before he looked at his watch. It was after five.

"Sorry, Hotch. You didn't have to come and get me. I would have noticed the time soon enough." Still Spencer took the hand when it was offered to help him up off the floor. He'd just finished that box he'd been on so he filed it away where he'd gotten it. 

"It's fine, Reid. I actually came to see if now was a good time to have that talk."

Spencer thought for a few seconds if he'd had made any plans to call anyone and when he figured out he hadn't he nodded. "Sure."

"Haley knows I'll be late. Let's get dinner and find a quiet place to talk."

That's how Spencer found himself sitting at a picnic table in a park with his superior, eating Chinese food. Hotch was eating with chopsticks while Spencer had gone the safe route of a fork. The silence was only slightly uncomfortable. 

"Why me?" Spencer asked as he set aside his container of food. He'd eaten enough of it. He couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"Honestly?" Hotch set aside his food as well and turned to face Spencer slightly. "I wanted you the second you started asking questions at the recruitment seminar. Three kids groaned and you just ignored them. When Gideon asked you to stick around after and only you, you smirked. I wanted to take you back to your dorm and get you to wipe that smirk off your face. Gideon came back to the hotel later that night and he started talking about a Doctor Reid. It took a while to connect the very intelligent man in the seminar to Doctor Reid. He spoke of your IQ and your degrees. I knew then that he wanted you for the unit. I shut all the wanting down and looked at you without lust filled thoughts. I agreed with his recommendation and we worked on getting you into the unit."

"Why? No one has ever looked at me and thought, I want to fuck him." At least no one that he wanted to have sex with.

"It's good for me," Hotch said as he gave Spencer the feral smile he'd used just the night before in the hotel room. "They look at you and they see what you want them to see. I see what you are hiding, unconscious or not. You have a passion for learning and figuring things out. There is no reason to think that you wouldn't turn that passion into sex as well. You control everything about yourself. Last night I was able to get you out of that shell. All you wanted was release. It's powerful and heady to get someone to become that."

"So you were being truthful when you said the glasses tipped you over." 

"You look a lot younger with them on yes but so much more innocent as well."

"How would this work?" Spencer couldn't look at him now. Too many thoughts racing through his head. This was so far out of his realm of comfortable but he wanted it. Oh, how did he want it. He knew the job was going to be hard on his personal life, but he didn't really have one. A marriage and settling down with a woman, he didn't want that. At least not at the moment. Working at the BAU was hard on marriages. David Rossi had three in his time. Hotch was happily married it seemed, outside of what he was seeking with Spencer.

"What do you mean?"

"Hotels..."

"If you are comfortable I wouldn't mind using your place. It's not like we need the charges on either one of our cards or the chance of someone seeing us. Last night was an anomaly. I've never in a hotel after a case before. Then again, my friend that helped me out before this lived here in DC. I won't on a case, but after...I can't say it won't happen again." A hand on his face turned Spencer's head to where he was looking in Hotch's eyes. "I am not pressuring you, am I? I don't want to do that. Nothing will happen with you on the team if you say no now or somewhere down the road. People change."

"No, you aren't pressuring me." Spencer watched the relief in the older man's eyes as he spoke the words. The hand let go of his face, but he didn't turn away. "I wouldn't mind using my place. It's a pretty quiet building and the neighbors aren't that nosey from what I can tell."

"That's good. I can't do this without consent, Reid. Never. With this job, I just can't. Even if it's the worst case ever and I am so pissed and need it, if you aren't on the same page, you have to tell me. There is a big difference between willing rough sex and unwilling. I..." Hotch paused. His eyes dropped down, and then he looked back up a long minute later. "I don't ever want to hurt you that way. Ever." 

"I won't let you. About my..." Spencer looked around the area to see if people were around. "I've had sex twice. It was with classmates once I'd turned eighteen. We'd decided to get our first sexual encounters over. I had sex with a man and a woman but the man was on the receiving end. He was gay and wanted his first time with a someone he trusted enough. I felt honored but unwilling to have him do the same to me."

"We don't have to go there before you are ready. Don't get me wrong." Hotch shifted closer to Spencer and leaned in even closer to his ear. "I want to feel you clenched around my cock. I want you screaming as I pound into you."

"Hotch." Spencer could feel the blush on his cheeks as he looked at the families who were scattered around. He willed himself not to get hard.

"What's wrong, Reid? A little off balance?"

"Not used to discussing things like this at all. The last time I talked about sex was making sure I understood the scientific process of prepping a man." Spencer figured he'd get better at talking about it. Of course, it seemed that Hotch liked him innocent so maybe getting used to it wouldn't be a good thing.

Hotch started laughing and it dispelled the sexual tension in the air. "Of course it would have been with your science buddies. Why would I have thought anything different?" 

"I don't know." Spencer smiled, and he watched as Hotch did as well. 

"There is one more thing we do need to discuss. Well it's two things." The smile dropped off his face and Hotch turned to look him in the eyes again. "I don't expect you to not date and have sex with other people. It's not like I expect you to live with the once and a while sex we will be having. I know given what we've talked about that you don't exactly go out on dates and such but I wanted you to know I don't think that I own you."

"I didn't think you would think you did. You are right though, I tend to shy away from dating and such. I just don't want that right now. Getting used to being here and working not studying. I also don't see myself getting married right now." Spencer looked away from his superior. Now wasn't the time for any of that. 

"Last night, I probably shouldn't have licked you clean, it wasn't exactly safe but given that it had been awhile since your last encounter and I know that you were given a clean bill of health before you started at the BAU, I figured I was safe."

"I didn't even..." Spencer looked over at him. 

"That's on me. The man I was with before. He was clean. He wasn't interested in a relationship but wanted released from time to time and we worked well together. We used condoms for the actual penetration but that was more for clean up than anything else. We get tested enough at work after cases where we get blood on us so I wouldn't worry about anything. I just ask that if you do have sex with someone, use a condom."

"Oh God, yes. I...I've never had penetrative sex without a condom. As to..." Spencer stopped trying to figure out what words he wanted to use. All of them were vulgar. "Giving head?" Hotch nodded and Spencer continued. "Last night was the first time that anyone has ever done it to me and I've never given it to someone."

"Trust?" The word left Hotch's mouth and it wasn't said with derision. "This job jades us to a lot of things and well I think you are pretty equipped to not have a crash as some do. Getting you in the unit at your age was an uphill battle. There is a reason it's generally people who have been at jobs for several years who are placed in the unit. The BAU has one of the highest rates of burnouts outside of undercover work in the law enforcement world."

"Thanks. I'll let you know if I ever do anything with anyone."

"Haley and I are trying to get pregnant and an STD wouldn't be a good thing."

"No. The treatments for STDs are pretty harsh and can..." Spencer stopped when Hotch raised an eyebrow at him. The older man snuck a look at his watch. 

"Ready to go talk to Haley?"

"What?" Spencer asked, shocked. He figured he'd have to ask to speak to her.

"You value knowledge and while you trust that what I told you is the truth, I don't want any doubt in your mind because while I feel that you can separate what we do behind closed doors and my position on the team, if you start to doubt me in one, you will doubt me in the other. So I am going to introduce you to my wife and then leave the two of you to talk."

Spencer found that the shock of the words carried him right up until Hotch was opening the front door to his house. He motioned the younger man inside before moving inside himself. 

"Aaron?"

"I'm home and I brought Doctor Reid with me."

Seconds later, a young looking woman with blonde hair came around the corner with a smile on her face. Spencer forced a smile on his face. He wasn't sure that this was the right thing to do. He had no clue what the expect here. He didn't know what to do. Did he offer to shake her hand? Just wave?

"Doctor Reid, welcome to my home. Aaron's talked a lot about the newest member of his team. He's really happy to have you on it." Haley stepped up to him and gave him a hug before he could react at all. "You look like you barely eat. Did Aaron feed you before bringing you over?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Spencer answered by rote. 

Haley looked at him shocked. "There's no ma'am here. Call me Haley. Come in and sit down. Can I offer you a drink? I think Aaron said you like coffee. I started a pot so I hope so." There was no nervousness in her tone or her body language. Spencer tried his hardest not to profile her. To rip her words apart and find something in them that condemned him. No matter if Haley knew about him or not, he was the other 'woman,' the one who had sex with her husband outside of the marital bed. 

"Yes. I like coffee and some would be wonderful." Spencer forced a smile on his face as Haley reached out for his arm and pulled him towards the kitchen. Hotch clasped him on the shoulder as he passed, right where he had left a bruise the night before. The tight squeeze told the young man that he had planned on that. The pain helped calm him down. 

Haley all but shoved him into a chair and set the sugar bowl down in front of him while she wandered off to fill a mug with coffee. Spencer heard Hotch move away from the front door and go up the stairs. A mug was set down in front of him, and Haley took the seat across from him at the table. This was all so odd and so surreal. The way that she was acting was...strange. Spencer couldn't put his finger on it. He prepared his coffee as a way to prolong having to talk and when he finally looked up at her, he figured it out.

"He asked before he even thought about talking to me didn't he?" It was the only thing that made sense and it fit with Hotch's personality. 

Haley nodded. "Yes. When he got back from California actually. A good friend of his has helped him with this for years. He recently moved back home to help with his ailing parents. Aaron has been looking for someone else. Picking up a stranger in a bar has never enticed him. I can understand. I worried for the first few months after I told him what I thought. He fought it. Aaron is loyal. In the end, Jake took things into his own hands. I saw how different he was after that first night. It took him a while to see how much good it did for him as well. It still upsets me sometimes that I can't give him everything he needs when he does for me. I've accepted it."

"But you are giving him what he needs." Spencer set his mug down on the table and forced himself to look at her. "It's not with you but you are giving him the outlet. You've set down what you are comfortable with and he's stood by that. It's no different than a husband who reads to relieve stress or even gambles. Working in this field and studying it like I have, this is no different. His method of release is just different but it fits him. Has he said much about the case? How it ended?"

"That the UnSub probably won't ever wake up and won't face prosecution for what he has done, yes he told me as much as he normally does." 

Spencer lifted the mug back up to drink. "It bothers him. As it should. If he can get out all the bad feelings before he comes home to you, he can be happier which means you can be happier."

"Spent a while thinking about this have you?" Haley looked happy at that and it was kind of freaking Spencer out. 

"I have nothing but time. One can only read so many case files to get caught up." On the flight home, it's all he'd thought about. How stupid an idea it was to even be thinking of keeping a sexual relationship with a superior but that singular sexual encounter he'd had with him had been better than his imagination had ever been able to come up with, and he was pretty sure his imagination was damn good. Could he say no to that? 

Haley laughed and took a sip of her own mug of coffee. 

"I never thought in a million years that I would be sitting and having this conversation with anyone much less the wife of my superior. It's a little surreal."

"Jake was a little freaked out as well. I guess that's why I am so calm. Jake was so good for Aaron but you seem like a nice guy and you will get that part of him that very few can understand. And I like you. Maybe I'll have someone on the team to talk to when they all want to go out."

Spencer smiled despite himself. He found he was liking Haley.


	3. Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S1-Extreme Aggressor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Beta** : Charlie_Remington

With the way that Hotch spoke, Spencer figured he'd be over at least every few months. Yet he never did. He was shocked when his superior never appeared in the aftermath of Boston either. If there was a time when he should have needed a release like rough sex, it should have been then. Yet for the weeks after the disaster, nothing. Hotch was the temporary unit chief while Gideon was on medical leave, teaching at the Academy. 

Three months after Boston, Gideon started to help consulting on cases again and Hotch asked him to be the liaison between the team and him. Case after case and still nothing from his superior. He didn't look or act any different and they didn't know each other well enough for Spencer to feel as if he could confront him. 

Then a case in Seattle prompted the return of the Gideon to the team. They saved the last woman and Elle took out the UnSub after Gideon saved the day. It was a good case. So why was Spencer looking out his peephole in the door, seeing a fidgety Hotch standing there. Spencer sighed and opened the door. Hotch didn't even say hi before he had Spencer spun around and shoved into the door, face first. The embarrassing thing was that Spencer could feel himself hardening as soon as Hotch touched him. It had been almost a year since he'd last been touched like this by his superior and it set him shivering. A hand snaked between him and the door and cupped his hardened sex.

"Still so eager?" Hotch asked before his teeth nipped at Spencer's ear. The younger man's answer was a moan. "Do you have lube?"

"No," Spencer whispered. If he gave into masturbating, he usually did so in the shower and used conditioner. He'd learned that he hated cleaning up the bed after the act. He tensed, afraid Hotch would be upset. There was no way that Hotch didn't notice.

"I have some in my car." Hotch grabbed his hands and stretched them above his head. Then the older man was pressed against him, shoving him more into the door. When he felt a hard cock press into his ass he tried to thrust backwards but Hotch had him well and truly trapped. "I want you naked and on your front in bed by the time I get back up."

"Yes, Hotch." Spencer's hands were released and he moved quickly towards the bedroom. He quickly grabbed the books stacked by his bedside and moved them over to the wall, the stack on his nightstand followed suit. He double checked his gun safe and made sure it was shut. As soon as he was sure the bed was safe from books, he stripped out of his clothes quickly. He'd been fresh from a shower so he'd been in his sleep clothes. It was easy to strip them off, throwing them over the arm of the chair in the corner. Hotch had just told him to get on his front. He didn't say a word about what to do to the bed.

In the end, Spencer just laid down, crossing his arms in front of his face and settling his forehead on them. From this position he could breath easily and he could hear with both ears. The nerves that hadn't popped up the first time, until after, surged forward. He had no clue what Hotch wanted from him. He didn't know what the older man saw in him. Was it the sexual ineptitude? Hotch would be the one teaching in everything. He'd be moldable to what the older man wanted. That probably thrilled his superior. 

The silence of the apartment was deafening. Hotch should have been back by then. He tried to listen for any sounds in the living room but there was nothing. He wondered if the older man was going to try and sneak up on him. 

"You didn't go to sleep on me did you, Reid?" Hotch asked as the bed sank and hands were on Spencer's calves. He inhaled and then his legs were jerked apart. He felt the ghosting of a hand on his ass. 

"No."

"Good. What do you want?" Hotch asked as his hand moved from his ass up his back. He didn't know what Hotch wanted him to answer. This was about the older man getting what he wanted, Spencer just got off as well in the process. Hotch's hand settled on the back of his neck and held him in place. His other hand traced the crack of his ass. The genius couldn't hold back the shiver. He didn't know if it was in fear or excitement. 

"I don't know."

The bed shifted and the hand on his neck moved. Hotch draped himself over his back and then his head was beside Spencer's. "No fantasies I can fill, Reid?"

Spencer shook his head, unwilling to talk about what he wanted. He wasn't ready for that. Nowhere near ready for that.

"Then you have two choices." Hotch grabbed a hold of his hair and jerked his head up. The pain was intense but his cock twitched at it. "Whether you want to lay on your front or your back and," a metallic clink sounded and then handcuffs were hanging in front of him. It was Hotch's work pair. He recognized the scratch he'd put on them proving he could get out of them just a few months before. Morgan hadn't trusted him with his own set.

Hotch released his head and Spencer wasn't prepared for it so it dropped back down to his hands. The older man was silent and let him think though. He didn't know what he wanted. Two simple questions but did he trust to be handcuffed to the bed? The thought was thrilling and almost forbidden. Just like having sex with his superior, his married superior. The shot of pure lust that traveled down his body told him what he wanted. 

"Front and yes." 

Hotch sat up, settling his cock in the crack of Spencer's ass, it felt like a reminder. When he was settled, he leaned forward and the first cuff was snapped onto his wrist. The headboard of the bed was wrought iron and old. The whole frame weighed around two hundred pounds when fully assembled and the bed was on it. The second cuff was looped through the frame and Spencer willingly shifted his free hand up. Hotch groaned when he leaned back and the young agent felt him starting to thrust. He was well and truly at his superior's whim now. 

Breath on his ear pulled Spencer back to the present. "Now you are mine. I can do whatever I want to you." Weight shifted off him and then a finger was tracing his ass crack. Spencer shuddered. He still didn't know if he was ready for that. "We need a safeword for you. You babble a great deal and I need to make sure that I don't hurt you."

"Quantico." Spencer had come up with that long before. He'd spent months researching anything and everything to do with BDSM relationships. Knowing more about them helped with his job but it also helped him understand Hotch and what he needed more, even if Hotch just called it rough sex, there were elements of BDSM already. His superior didn't seem like he wanted that complete form of a relationship with him but the mention of gags and now the handcuffs made him happy that he had done it.

"Okay. You say that we stop and evaluate if we need to fully stop or just change what we are doing." 

"Yes."

"Such a good boy, Reid." Hand on his hair again and Spencer braced for the pulling but Hotch didn't. Instead he seemed to use it as an anchor as he shifted again on the bed. The anticipation of not watching what Hotch was preparing to do to him had the younger man shivering again. He felt the nip on his cheek and thrust up and into the older man's face. A light chuckle showed that Hotch wasn't upset but two hands gripped his legs to hold him down while the older man shifted again and sat fully on his knees then leaned over. The only contact between them was from the knees down and where Hotch's cock dragged along his lower back and ass. His hands were braced on the bed right at his shoulders. "I could do anything to you right now, Reid and that excites you. New experiences, new everything. Everything I do to you is something you've never done. Do you know how exciting that is for me?"

"Please, Hotch!" Spencer begged. He needed more. He just needed. The snap of something drew his thoughts to the fact that he hadn't noticed Hotch moving. The hands weren't on either side of his shoulders anymore. A hand on his ass, spreading his cheeks startled him. He closed his eyes as he felt a finger at his entrance. A deep breath and then he made his legs relax. He trusted Hotch, the man would never hurt him. When he relaxed all tension from his body, he felt the finger settle right at his pucker. He nodded his head and the finger pushed in, slowly. It felt so different than when he had fingered himself before. He moaned when that finger found his prostate. Hotch rewarded him with a bite to the shoulder. 

With his memory, Spencer knew that it was in the exact same spot that Hotch had bit him last time. At the first flare of pain, the younger man bucked but between the body on his legs and his hands cuffed above him, he wasn't able to buck much. That heightened the feelings so much. Kink in his sex was something he'd never thought of before Hotch.

"You really like it when I do that. I like your reactions when I do that." Hotch's voice was husky with arousal and all Spencer could do was nod in answer. The finger slid out of him and he waited. Hotch shifted off the bed then there was hands on his. Spencer looked up at where the older man was undoing the cuffs. The weight on him shifted off him. What happened? Spencer dropped his head onto his pillow. He had to have done something wrong. The genius stayed still though. 

"Let's get you rolled over. I want to try something and it will be more fun with you on your back."

Spencer followed what Hotch's hands wanted him to do and less than a minute later was on his back with his hands above his head being relinked to the bed. He blinked up at the older man and watched as eyes raked down his body, lust evident in them. Spencer spread his legs when his superior motioned for him to do so. The lube was snapped open and he watched as Hotch lubed up his fingers. A single one was inserted back into him and he arched up. A hand on his stomach stopped him and he groaned at that. Hotch quickly inserted another finger. 

"What do you want, Reid?" Hotch's hand trailed up his chest and gripped the back of his head as the older man kissed him. His fingers were still buried in Spencer's ass and the young man didn't know what he wanted. He knew though the single, solitary thing that he still didn't want, not yet.

"Anything except..." Spencer tried to say the words but with Hotch's two fingers still thrusting inside of him and rubbing over his prostate; when the older man felt like that, it seemed stupid. The fingers left him and then three were inserted back. The burn from the stretch put a cap on his pleasure. 

"Except what, Doctor Reid?" Hotch asked as he pulled his face back a little. He was so close that it took a second for Spencer's eyes to adjust to the distance. The fingers were still just inside of his ass. "How about I just get myself off and I don't care about you? If you can't answer me that's what you are going to get."

Spencer closed his eyes because those words said in Hotch's lust filled voice reignited the little bit of pleasure lost at the burn from his fingers. He didn't want to see what the older man did to him. The hand holding his head let go and the fingers in his ass pulled out. He could feel Hotch lean over the bed and then two hands were on his hips. He didn't feel lube on the left hand so he figured that when Hotch leaned over he wiped it off on something. The older man aligned their cocks and leaned back over him to start grinding them together. Lube had to have been applied because he could feel the glide of their skin together with no pull. 

Instead of kissing him, Hotch was leaning over and licking at one of his nipples before he bit down. The cry Spencer let out echoed around the room and he thrust his chest up farther into Hotch's mouth. Tongue trailed from one to the other and it was repeated but this time Hotch stayed with it. He couldn't move, he couldn't think. It was maddening. 

"Reid, except what." The words were followed by a lick to his neck. 

Spencer opened his mouth to answer but stopped again. Words. Words were his thing. He could weave them in and out. Why were they so far away now? "Penetration. Anything except penile penetration." He squeezed his eyes closed tight at the words. He'd said them. 

"I'll get you to use other terms for that sometime but for now I'll take your clinical words." Hotch didn't sound upset. "Reid, relax. You are strung tight." The older man trailed a hand down his chest and as it moved, Spencer forced himself to relax. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes to look at the man above him. "There you are. I told you in the beginning, I don't ever want to hurt you. That means doing things you aren't comfortable with. This is our second time. I don't expect you to let me fuck you on the second time."

Spencer nodded and took another deep breath. Hotch leaned up and started to kiss him again. His superior started to thrust against him with the same speed that he thrust his tongue in his mouth. He jerked his hands forward but the cuffs stopped him. He wanted to touch and couldn't. He couldn't think of anything except the pleasure building in his body. He wanted badly to come but it wasn't enough. 

When he thought about turning his head away from the kiss to plead for Hotch to do anything, anything to get him off, he felt the older man pull away on his own. He watched as Hotch straightened up and fisted his own cock, pumping it a few times. Spencer's eyes locked on the sight of his superior's cock held between his fingers. It was mesmerising watching it appear and disappear from behind the hand. He wanted to lean up and lick at the head as it appeared each time. Spencer moaned at the thought and watched as Hotch's hand stuttered. 

Hotch leaned forward and dropped down to one hand on the bed. Two pumps later and Hotch was coming all over his chest. His superior stayed leaning above him for a long minute as he caught his breath. "What do you want?"

There was no thinking for the genius. He knew what he wanted. "To come."

"And you don't care as long as I don't penetrate you with my dick?" 

Spencer felt fingers trace through the semen on his chest as he nodded his head, looking down. He watched as Hotch moved down the bed and then those fingers were tracing at his entrance. He inhaled as the two fingers breached him again. Instead of lube, the older man had used his own semen as lubrication. That was something he had never even thought of. Before he could even tell Hotch how hot that was, his superior swallowed him whole. His head dropped back and he looked up at the ceiling. The fingers inside him sought out his prostate. At the renewed touch, Spencer didn't know if he wanted to thrust up into the mouth or down onto the fingers. 

Hotch made the decision for him. He pressed down on Spencer's hip, holding him in place with his free hand. Every bit of literature that he'd read on the prostate hadn't prepared him for this. Between the spikes of pleasure from his prostate and the wet heat on his cock, Spencer came within moments. He called out Hotch's name but the older man didn't lift off right away. Instead he pulled the fingers from his ass but his mouth stayed on his cock for at least another minute, softly sucking and cleaning him up.

As he lay there panting, Spencer felt the bed dip and he didn't open his eyes to look. He didn't open them until he felt the wet cloth on his chest. Hotch was still naked. After cleaning his chest, Hotch lifted his leg and then drug the cloth between his cheeks. 

"That'll do til morning for you." Hotch sat down on the edge of the bed and started to work on the cuffs. "Did you like that?"

"Which part?" Spencer asked.

"The cuffs. I can see where you chaffed your wrists a little. If you like it we can see about getting padded cuffs." Hotch rubbed at his wrists and Spencer saw what he was talking about. He'd have to wear long sleeves until the marks went away. He really didn't want to explain them to his co-workers. His skin wasn't broken.

"I think it heightened my senses a little. I didn't not like it." 

"Well, I can still get a pair and we can try it another time or two. You didn't mind my fingers."

"No," Spencer said as he felt the blush creep up his face. Why was talking about this so hard? "I liked that."

"The fact that you can blush after I just fingered your ass and blew you is astounding." Hotch stood up and started dressing. Spencer watched him as he settled down on the bed. He didn't feel a need to cover up. Hotch had seen him naked. Knew him intimately. "I should get home. Haley and I are trying to get the nursery set up."

"Sure. I'm not really tired."

"That's probably the pot of coffee you drank before I got here. Try and get some sleep. We have work tomorrow."

"I will. Don't worry. I'll be fine. Picked a name yet?"

"No. Too many names remind of serial killers and the ones that don't Haley dislikes." Hotch was dressed back in his clothes and moved towards the bedroom door. He moved to pull it shut.

"Don't. I don't shut it. I like to sleep with it open."

Hotch nodded and kept walking. Spencer thought about the conversation. He wasn't upset that Hotch had left. He knew what this relationship was, it was sexual and he kind of liked it. He knew he wasn't ready for a steady relationship. He didn't know how Haley handled Hotch being gone for long periods. He was young, extremely so in many ways. He was content with this, as long as it wasn't another year before Hotch came around again. If it was, he might have to give in and buy lube.


	4. Fucked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S1-LDSK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Beta** : Charlie_Remington

Spencer had been pacing in his bedroom since he'd gotten dressed after showering. Hotch had said that he was going to go home and check on Haley then come over. He'd never given a time but then he never did. Haley was more important. Spencer knew that she was on bedrest and it was driving her nuts, he could understand why. He'd go nuts if stuck in bed for long periods like that. 

The lube from the last time Hotch had been over was in the drawer at the bedside along with the newer tube that he had stopped and bought on the way home. There was also another new item in the drawer. He'd bought a box of condoms. He'd driven half an hour out of his way to buy the lube and the condoms. The drug store near where he lived had a nice old lady who didn't mind sharing everything with everyone who came in. He didn't need the others in the building to know that he was buying lube and condoms. He'd also used cash and not his card. He wouldn't put it past Garcia to keep track of things like that. She worried a lot about the team and especially him. 

Not for the first time, Spencer wondered what the rest of the team would think of what he was doing with Hotch. He didn't think that any of them would be okay with it. It wasn't part of their societal norms. The ability for someone to share their partner was way out of their comfort zone. He was okay with keeping the secret from them. The case had proved that he and Hotch could work together. He hadn't been so worried about Hotch that he'd missed the older man's cues. They had worked seamlessly together. No one was being hurt by their activities after work and all parties were informed. 

Haley held the power, one word from her and Spencer knew that Hotch would stop and Spencer wouldn't be that upset. He didn't crave when they weren't together and he wasn't obsessed. 

The knock on the door startled him. He looked at the clock on his bedside. Hotch was earlier than he thought he was going to be. Hotch hadn't shown a preference for stripping him so he'd just changed into a t-shirt from the academy and a pair of his sleep pants. Quicker and easier to get out of. It was the goal.

"Hi," Spencer said as he opened his door. 

"Hi. Haley was asleep and I didn't want to wake her. She knew that I was going to see you when I called her from the office."

"You left a note though, right?" Spencer worried about her waking up and him not being there when he said he would stop before coming to him. 

"Yes. Are you going to let me in?" Hotch smiled as he said it but still Spencer kind of blushed as he stepped back to allow his superior into his apartment. He stopped himself from blurting out that he had bought condoms and lube. He didn't know what Hotch wanted. A hand appearing in front of his face had him jumping back a little. 

"Sorry," Spencer said.

"No. I shouldn't have come here tonight." Hotch reached out again and traced a knuckle down the outline of the bruise on Spencer's cheek and then touched the split part of his lip with his thumb. 

"I'm fine, Hotch. This is the worst of it. Between you pulling the kicks and me being able to pull back, you didn't even bruise my chest. I was thinking too hard on something and didn't see the hand moving at me. I promise I am fine."

Hotch stared at him for a minute before he nodded. The thumb on his lip moved from the edge to the middle, pulling it down. "I sent you down that hall and then the gunfire came from there. For a moment, until I saw you move after Dowd revealed himself, I thought he had shot you as well as the fuse box. My heart was in my throat."

"I'm fine." Spencer knew what he meant though. Every time a shot went out near a team member, it was always harrowing until that member was deemed fine. It hadn't stopped any of them from doing their jobs. The team cared for each other and it made them stronger.

Hotch leaned forward as he kicked the door shut. Spencer closed his eyes at the first kiss. There was a twinge of pain at the contact but he was able to push it away. He parted his lips and Hotch's tongue delved inside. Striking up the courage, Spencer started to unbutton the older man's pants. 

"Reid?" Hotch pulled back and looked at him inquisitively. Before this, they had always taken off their own clothes. Spencer wasn't sure if it was a line that Hotch didn't want to cross or if it had just been a product of the rush to get to the sex before. 

"I want to try it."

"Try what?" 

"Oral sex." Spencer was a little shocked that he didn't stutter. He'd learned after last time that Hotch wanted to hear the words from his mouth on what he wanted. He watched as Hotch's eyes widened. The intake of breath told him that Hotch at least liked the idea. Between the last time he'd been there and now he'd done a little research on oral sex. "I want to try it, Hotch."

"I am not going to say no to that. I am not sure there is a man who is ever going to say no to that. How do you want to do it?" 

"I don't know. How do you normally get oral sex?"

"Gotta stop calling it that." Hotch shook his head and smiled.

"The technical terms do better for me." Spencer was honest. He was better with the technical terms. When he used other terms, it grated on him and threw him off. There were some terms he was okay with using. He liked the word cock. 

"We'll work on that. As to sex, we can start here and end up in the bedroom or we can just start there."

"Do you like to stand up, sit down, lay down..." Spencer stopped when Hotch covered his mouth. There was humor in his eyes. 

"How about you lock up and join me in the bedroom when you are done?"

Spencer nodded with Hotch's hand still over his mouth. The hand released his face and he turned but stopped when he felt the grip on his hair. Hotch pulled him back roughly, claiming his mouth in a kiss that weakened Spencer's knees. Hotch had him understanding why people liked kissing. Hotch pushed again and he moved backwards until he slammed into the wall. His head cracked off the wall and he winced but Hotch never broke the kiss. 

Instead, Hotch trapped him against the wall. It was easy to lose himself in the kiss with Hotch's groin pressed against his own. Pressure in all the right places and an answering hardness that Spencer wanted in his mouth. Hotch enjoyed giving him oral sex. He was sure once he got used to it, he would like it as well. 

Hotch pulled back when Spencer wasn't expecting it. He actually tried to follow the other man's mouth which had him chuckling. 

"Hurry up and I'll put that willing little mouth to good use. I might just find a good way to shut you up when you ramble." Those words caused Spencer to start to blush, he could feel his cheeks heating up. Before he could do anything though, Hotch was gone. Heading back towards the bedroom. Spencer rushed through making sure the door was locked. He moved to the kitchen to make sure that his coffee pot was off. 

The sight on his bed when he pushed open his bedroom door stopped him in his tracks. Hotch was laying back on the bed completely naked. His feet were on the floor with his legs spread and all Spencer could do was stare at his superior's cock. His own cock hardened in his pants even more. Hotch crooked a finger and Spencer moved forward, only stopping when his knees touched the bed between the other man's legs. 

Hotch pushed himself up, grabbing Spencer's hips and pulling until he was straddling his lap. The hand on his shirt surprised him and he watched as the older man lifted the cloth up. Hotch's hand traced his stomach as he leaned Spencer back away from him a little. The hand was soft as it moved around, feeling for any sores. He held still and smiled when the touch didn't uncover any bruises. 

"I guess I didn't hurt you."

"No." Spencer inhaled quickly when the hand dipped from stomach to his groin. The firm hand squeezed just enough for him to feel it but not enough for it to hurt. 

"So what we are going to do is that you are going to leave your pants on and cock inside them. I'm going to lay back and you can do whatever you want to me but you can't touch yourself." Hotch let go of his cock and then moved up to hold his head still, his eyes locked on Hotch's. "If you want to stop for the night, just tell me. You've never done this before, I'm not going to expect you to be a master at it. Reading about sucking cock and even watching it in porn and doing it are two different things."

"I don't watch porn." Spencer crinkled his nose up at that. He'd tried that when he turned eighteen and it just didn't do anything for him. He'd tried lesbian, gay, hetero, even threesome and more and none of it interested him in the least. 

"You didn't say you've never watched porn."

"Had to try it once. Didn't like it. I'll tell you if I want to stop."

"All you have to do stop. I'm not going to touch you at all during this first time. Maybe a time or two from now I'll grip your hair and direct you how I want it. You seem to like it when I do. Hold your head still while I thrust in and out of your mouth."

Spencer shivered at the words. Hotch's hand still held his eyes in place but his free hand traveled around to the back of his pants. When he felt the hand slip in between the material and his skin, he jumped slightly. If Hotch did what he thought he was, his surprise would be revealed. Was he ready for that?

The hand traveled down and slid between his cheeks. Hotch's entire body stiffened. Spencer knew that he felt it. There was still traces of the lube around his hole. The hand slid down farther and a finger breached his hole. easily. He'd stretched himself and played a little during his shower and then again after he'd dried off. He wasn't as loose as he had been then but his muscles were very relaxed.

"If I wasn't so interested in having your mouth on my cock, I'd be taking these pants off of you, finish stretching you and then fill you up." One finger became two and Spencer couldn't hold back the moan. He arched his back at the feel of the fingers inside of him. Hotch's hand released his chin and gripped his hair, holding him in place. He never thought having anything inside him could feel that good.

"I..." Spencer bit at his lip. "I picked up condoms with the lube. In the drawer." The fingers inside of him didn't stop. Instead they sought out his prostate. 

"Are you sure?" Hotch relaxed his hold on his hair enough to where he could look him in the eye. 

"That I want to have sex? Yes."

"No. That you want, what did you call it, penile penetration?"

"I bought the condoms, Hotch. I trust you. I just want to try a little bit of oral..." Spencer stopped speaking when the moan ripped out of him at Hotch's fingers starting to stretch him. The older man was using three fingers. He'd gotten three of his own fingers inside but Hotch's fingers were wider than his own so those three were stretching him more than he had been before.

"Then I need to get you off my lap or I am going to forget myself." Hotch let go of him and laid back on the bed. His arms crossed on his chest. "It wouldn't hurt to go ahead and get a towel or something from the bathroom to wipe off the lube onto or anything else we want."

"Sure."

When Spencer came back from the bathroom with a small hand towel, Hotch was still in the same position except that one hand was trailing up and down his cock, keeping it pleasured. He only let it go when Spencer dropped to his knees between his spread legs. He put his hands on Hotch's thighs to brace himself as he leaned up and over his superior's body. He looked at the cock in front of him. The shape, the size, even the coloring. It was different than his own. 

"You look like you are going to start writing things down." 

Spencer looked up and saw that Hotch was leaning up, propped on his elbows and looking down at him. A soft smile on his face.

"Just trying to figure out what I want to do and how I want to do it."

"Just..." Hotch started but when Spencer leaned down and licked from base to tip, Hotch groaned and dropped back onto the bed. Spencer kind of liked the thought of his superior not watching him, made him feel a little better about it all. It made it feel like he really was doing some form of an experiment. Another lick, this one stopping when he passed over the tip of the cock. He listened to the breathing of the man whose cock he was licking, filing it all away. 

Taking just the head in his mouth, Spencer trailed his tongue around it several times before he slid his lips down further. He stopped when it started to feel weird and pulled back to where just the tip was inside. He repeated that several times before he pulled off totally and licked from base to tip again. 

Hotch gripped the bedspread and his legs looked like they were trying to close. Spencer gripped them tighter to hold them open. Eyes moving up, Spencer looked up from the cock in front of him to his superior's face. His eyes were closed and his mouth open. Spencer smiled before he took as much of the cock in his mouth as he could without triggering a gag reflex. He applied suction and let his teeth just barely scrape along the length as he came up. When he licked at the crown there was fluid there and he licked again to get it all. It tasted different than what he remembered his tasting like when Hotch had kissed him after he'd come in his mouth. He'd have to make sure to make the older man come in his mouth some time to taste the full difference.

Spencer pulled back and blew on the wet flesh. The cock jerked and Hotch groaned. Another lick and the older man was coming up off the bed, grabbing Spencer by the hair and holding him in place. Spencer didn't have any time to react. If it had been any other situation with any other person, he probably would have tried to break the hold and get the hell away from them. But this was Hotch and the look in his eye told Spencer that he couldn't hold back anymore. He willed his body to relax and as soon as it did, his mouth was claimed in a searing kiss. He couldn't do a thing except submit to it. He was lost in trying to catalog whether Hotch's reaction was a good or a bad one when the back of his sleep pants was ripped down. 

The lips were removed from his own and he gulped in breath after breath while Hotch ripped his shirt up and then off before making him stand to pull his pants the rest of the way off. He was manhandled onto the bed next, on his hands and knees. 

"Which drawer?" Hotch asked from behind. Spencer turned so that he could see him. He wasn't sure what the question was. "Lube and condoms."

"Right hand drawer." Spencer ducked his head down to where his forehead rested on the pillow at his head. He felt the bite on his ass cheek and jumped. He listened as Hotch leaned over and pulled open the drawer, always keeping his other hand on Spencer's lower back, rubbing and just driving him insane. Touch was something that he had not gotten much growing up. It wasn't that he didn't like touch, it was that when people would touch him, his mother would react badly, thinking they were trying to take him or inject him with something. By the time that he got to college he'd perfected the ways to stand and move that put people off on wanting to touch him. 

Everyone on the team seemed to allow it, outside of Garcia. There was no stopping her and her hugs. Morgan seemed to only touch when he really knew that Spencer would allow it. It had to be part of the profiling thing. There was no inter-team profiling but Spencer knew that he couldn't turn it off, he just didn't make it obvious that he did it. Hotch, Gideon, and Elle never touched but he was okay with that. JJ was sweet and didn't seem to notice that she touched him a lot. The crush he had on her was nothing more than that, a crush. She was nice, pretty, and she seemed to like him. The date had been fun but he had figured out then that he would never be able to be in a relationship with her. The feeling would fade and he really just wanted to be friends with her. 

Hotch drew him back out of his mind with a nip on his other ass cheek and he didn't react at all to that one. He just focused on the hand on his back and the breath on his ass. It was easy to lose himself in Hotch's touches. The snap of the cap on the lube told him what was coming next. He knew that lube would be cold so he was braced for the cold, wet finger at his hole. The first was slid in and Spencer moaned. He shifted to where he was more comfortable, spreading his knees apart a little more. A few thrusts of that finger and then it was pulled out and two entered. There was no burn but he'd been stretched by Hotch with the tips of his three fingers not too long before. 

"Do you even understand how hot it is to watch my fingers disappear inside of you? Knowing that other than you, I'm the only one to do this?" The fingers were maddening as Hotch just barely brushed on his prostate. He wanted more and thrust back on Hotch's fingers, trying to tell him that. The older man shifted on the bed and then Spencer felt thighs brush against his own and Hotch was stretching out along his back. Lips trailed on his shoulder and then stopped. His tongue traced the location on his shoulder where he'd bitten him before. He was fairly certain the man was obsessed with that location. Instead of biting though, he moved over to his other shoulder. Hotch was left handed so going to the left was understandable but the new location. Spencer figured it out and he couldn't help but want to look at Hotch's face. He pulled off the fingers and rolled to lay on his back. Staring at the older man.

"Reid?" 

"You like to bite me on the shoulder where I hang the strap of my bag." The look on Hotch's face told him that the older man was pleased.

Hotch grabbed Spencer's knees and spread his legs, settling in between them. His fingers traced at his hole, asking permission. Spencer nodded. He expected two but was surprised when he felt three start to slide into him, farther than before. The burn started. His muscles protested but Hotch was careful. The older man leaned over him, going right for his shoulder. 

"Of course, I do. I wondered when you would figure it out, genius." The fingers pulled out an inch only to push back in. The rush of pleasure he had been feeling was starting to fade. He knew that it could, he was prepared for it. Hotch leaned over, his mouth going right to Spencer's shoulder. He didn't bite, just mouthed at spot for a moment before he trailed his lips up his neck. Spencer knew that on his back was not the best position for a first time. 

"I’ve just...never been marked before. I understand the..." Spencer stopped when Hotch nipped at his neck. 

"It's hot. Watching you have to put your bag the other way because of my mark. Or when you do put it on over the bite and you adjust it all the time." 

Spencer moaned at the words being whispered in his ear. His pleasure was spiking again as Hotch stretched him more and more. The burn was leaving and Hotch was brushing his prostate more as his body adjusted. 

"What way do you want to do this? Takers choice." Hotch bit at his ear after speaking and thrust his fingers in again. 

"'Takers choice'? What do you mean?" Spencer crinkled his nose, trying to figure out what Hotch was talking about.

The chuckle in his ear shouldn't have been as pleasuring as it was. Hotch leaned up, his fingers leaving Spencer's body as he did. He didn't like the empty feeling it left him with. 

"Words you can understand? You are the one that's going to be taking it up the ass, you get to pick how you do. On your back, on your knees, on top of me." 

Spencer watched as Hotch leaned down to grab something from on top of the table. His hand came back into view with a condom in it. Hotch laid on Spencer's chest while he leaned down to pick up the towel. He wiped his hand on it before just setting it on the bed at Spencer's hip. 

"I..." Spencer swallowed the spit in his mouth and tried again. "On my back?"

"That sounded like a question, Reid."

"On my back," Spencer said again, this time with no question in his voice. Hotch nodded and relaxed back on his knees. 

"Lean up here." Hotch beckoned him as he picked the condom up. Spencer leaned up, propped up using one of his hands to keep him up. The older man opened the wrapper and offered it out to Spencer. Spencer just looked at his with a quirked eyebrow. "It's erotic as hell to have someone put the condom on you."

Spencer pulled the condom from the wrapper and watched as Hotch threw it to the floor. Spencer remembered the two times he'd put a condom on himself. There hadn't been a feeling of anything other than the pleasure of something rubbing on his cock. The feeling of Hotch's hand on him was more than the feeling of his was. He reached out shakily and rolled the condom down Hotch's cock. The older man reached out and stilled Spencer's hand on his cock as his entire body shuddered. When Spencer saw his eyes he noticed they were dilated, more than they had been just moments before. 

"Lie back now." Hotch grabbed the lube and squirted out a lot before he dropped it off the side of the bed. He palmed his cock next, staring at Spencer as he did. It was intriguing, watching Hotch watch him. As Hotch pushed him back onto the bed with his clean hand, Spencer's breathing picked up. His superior's lubed hand swiped at his hole when Spencer tucked his legs back. Hotch used his still clean hand to hold back one of his legs so that he remained open, thrusting a few times with his fingers. "You can never have too much lube."

"Hotch, please," Spencer begged as Hotch's fingers brushed his prostate again. If Hotch did that too many more times it was going to be over.

"Just making sure." Hotch gripped his cock and lined himself up at Spencer's entrance. "If you need me to stop, I will. If you need to just get a breather, just tell me."

Spencer nodded and waited for the pressure. It started and Spencer forced himself to stay relaxed. Hotch ran his hand up and down his chest as he pushed. The head popped through and he was happy that Hotch was able to keep himself from pushing too far too fast. Out and then back in just a little farther than before. Spencer watched Hotch as the older man kept his head down and his eyes locked on where they were joined. It was almost hypnotic. The movement of the body above him as he was slowly invaded. He never noticed when Hotch stopped moving. 

"Are you okay?" Hotch asked as he forced Spencer's eyes up to his own. Spencer could only nod. Hotch picked up the towel and wiped his hand off on it. It followed the lube down. The man shifted around until they were chest to chest. Spencer felt the cock inside him shift and push in just a little more. When he felt comfortable, Spencer used his hips and thrust down on the cock inside him. Hotch pulled out some and thrust. 

The feeling of pressure and burn disappeared more and more with each thrust. It felt wonderful. The harder Hotch drove into him the more Spencer liked it. One of Hotch's hands slid down to his waist and gripped his hip tightly, holding him in place at the same time he started to kiss him again. Spencer let his legs drop to wrap around the older man's waist. 

"Feels good," Spencer gasped as he felt a brush on his prostate. Hotch pushed at his thighs a little pulling the hand off his hip and then the older man was hitting his prostate on every thrust. The pleasure overwhelmed his mind and he was sure that he was speaking, he could feel his lips moving but he couldn't care less what he said. All he wanted was the feelings inside of him to never stop. Every thrust pushed him higher and higher and then lips crushed his as his body started bucking into orgasm. 

"You're so fucking tight," Hotch gasped as his hips snapped into him again and again. Head dropped on his shoulder, Spencer tightened his hands. One was on Hotch's upper arm and the other in Hotch's hair holding his head in place. He figured out that Hotch was getting ready to come when he felt teeth on his shoulder, the opposite one from last time. Hips stilled and Spencer wasn't sure what he was supposed to do now, he could feel the semen on his stomach and chest cooling. It felt really weird. 

Hotch gasped a few times, drawing in air before he carefully pulled out of Spencer. The wince came before he could stop himself. He knew that it could be little painful the first time. Spencer watched as Hotch pulled the condom off and tied it before tossing it in the trash can beside the small desk in the corner. The towel was tossed on his stomach and Spencer wiped himself off. 

"Do you mind if I shower?" Hotch asked. 

"No. Go ahead. Don't take all the hot water. Towels are in the cabinet. Rags as well." 

Spencer rolled to get out of bed but Hotch grabbed his arm and jerked him closer. "Hotch?"

"Thank you for trusting me enough for that, Reid. That was pretty damn hot." The older man's hand moved from his arm up to his neck and then shoulder, tracing the bite mark on his shoulder. Spencer could only smile in regards to that. 

"I'm glad I waited if only because if I had done this with Greg, I don't know if I could have enjoyed it as much. I liked him well enough but..."

"Trust. Everything with you is trust oriented. I get that. I won't be long then you can shower. I was careful and I didn't see any blood on the condom but please make sure you are fine."

"I will, Hotch. Don't worry." Spencer smiled at his superior as he moved to the bathroom, naked. Spencer laid back on the bed and started to think in his mind back to when he'd had sex with Greg. He remembered every look on Greg's face. The other man had enjoyed it. He'd have to remember to call him and ask him about what he felt during it.


	5. Claimed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S1-The Tribe

The knock on the door at one am surprised Spencer. He almost ignored it. He'd just gotten out of the shower and had thrown on a pair of slacks and a shirt but hadn't had a chance to button it. The lights were off in the apartment, it was a full moon and it lit up his apartment well enough to be able to move around. He was happy for it because it might convince whoever was outside his place that he was either dead asleep or not home. Standing at the door looking, the knock came again. Spencer moved forward slowly so that whoever was there wouldn't hear him. A college kid had moved into an apartment one floor up and had a problem of never remembering which place was his when he was drunk. 

Spencer was shocked to see Hotch standing there. He unlatched the chain and clicked over the deadbolt. The only reaction he got for opening the door was Hotch looking him up and down. Spencer looked down as well and he noticed he still hadn't buttoned up his shirt. He reached out to close the material but Hotch grabbed his hands and held them out from his body.

"A shower at one in the morning, Reid?" Hotch's gaze hadn't left his chest and stomach. He was once again reminded that he had no clue what this man saw in his body that made him desirable. 

"I was just working on some stuff and lost track of time. I'm not tired so I was just going to work on some cold cases."

"You still take those home?" Hotch seemed shocked.

"Why not?" Spencer shrugged and started to take a step backwards into the apartment, bringing Hotch with him. The older man kicked the door shut as he pulled Spencer closer and then pushed the both of them into the wall beside the door. 

"You are still so eager for everything. I want to fuck you until you scream." Hotch kissed him before he could respond. His hands were jerked above his head and his superior shifted his grip from two hands to one. His now free hand trailed down his arm to his chest. It moved lower, scratching a nipple as it moved. It settled on his cock and it hardened the rest of the way. "I gave you a nice and gentle first time, Reid. This time it's going to be hard and rough. I'm going to take you against the wall. Yes?"

"Yes," Spencer gasped. He knew that there was a lot of positions out there for sex but up against a wall just seemed so erotic. It and the floor inside the door were the epitome of need so much that one can't even make it to a soft, horizontal surface. 

"Strip and go get the lube." Hotch's voice was rough with lust. The second that he let go of him, Spencer was moving. He stripped his shirt off easily. His pants were another story. He stopped at the edge of the room to shove them down. He heard a moan from Hotch and turned to see the older man watching him. His eyes were locked on Spencer's backside and it was then that he remembered he hadn't had a chance to put on underwear before the knock had come at his door.

"Like that?" Spencer asked, shocked that the words actually came out. 

"Lube!" was Hotch's only answer and Spencer kicked his pants from around his ankles and moved at his quickest to the bedroom. He jerked the drawer open and grabbed the first tube he found. He grabbed a condom as well unsure of whether the older man wanted to use it or not. He hightailed it back into the living room as quick as he could. As soon as he got close, Hotch grabbed him and pulled him close, kissing him. The older man took the lube and condom from him. "I want you on your knees."

Spencer barely hesitated before he dropped. Hotch was still clothed. On his knees Spencer watched his superior as he unbuttoned his shirt but didn't slide it off. Next was his pants, belt undone and zipper open, he wasn't wearing any underwear either. 

"I'll try not to push you too far but I want in your mouth so bad right now." 

Nodding, Spencer leaned forward and licked the underside of the hard organ before he moved onto the head. As he slowly slid his lips around and then down the hard flesh he thought about the differences in the feelings of this time and last. He could feel the weight of the flesh more from this angle. As he bottomed out, the cock hitting the back of his throat, Hotch grabbed his hair and and held him still after pulling him back some. 

"Here fine?" Hotch asked. Spencer hummed for an answer. It was all the man above him needed. The grip on his hair tightened then the cock was mostly gone from his mouth. It was easy to figure out what he wanted. When Hotch pulled out Spencer hollowed his cheeks and sucked. On the thrust back in he tightened his lips and let his tongue press up to caress the flesh as it pushed. Hotch never went farther in than where he'd been when he asked if there was fine. He braced his hands on Hotch's thighs and the feel of cloth under his hands was erotic. He was naked and his superior was fully clothed. A few more thrusts and then Hotch pulled out of his mouth all the way.

"One of these nights," Hotch started as he pulled at Spencer's hair until he stood up. His free hand cupped Spencer's sex and squeezed. "I'm going to come in your mouth and make you swallow. Then I'll handcuff you so you can't get yourself off. Use you how I want, when I want and you won't be able to stop me."

"Hotch," Spencer begged. That thought was hotter than it had any right of being. He tried to thrust himself into Hotch. The older man just smirked at him and let go of his hair. Before Spencer could move in closer, he was spun and Hotch had him against the wall. 

"Keep your hands up on the wall." The snap of the lube top told Spencer all he needed to know. He spread his legs apart a little and used his hands to brace himself. He pushed himself back from the wall so that he was leaning against it some with his upper chest. He felt the finger at his hole before he could even say a thing. It was easy to relax. Even if Hotch was rough, he wasn't going to hurt him. Not in a bad way. Not in a way that didn't feel good. He felt the finger slide inside him. He moaned loudly. The fear was gone. The worry. In no time at all Hotch had three fingers in him. There wasn't as much burn this time. His cock was hard and he was tempted to reach down and rub himself. He didn't know what Hotch's reaction to that would be so he didn't. He'd been told to keep his hands on the wall. Sometime in the future he would disobey what he'd been told but right now he'd wait. His superior hadn't not got him off yet in their encounters so he waited. 

The sound of a package ripping told him that Hotch was getting ready to put on the condom. He half expected the man to want him to put it on him but then he felt something at his hole. Hotch was quick. Spencer took a deep breath as he felt the pressure at his entrance escalate and then exhaled as the head breached him. The pressure was still there as he was slowly filled but the only burn had been when the head breached him. Hotch had said hard and rough but this was anything but. 

A few thrusts in and out then Hotch pulled out and drove into him, hard. Spencer was glad that he had braced himself but it wasn't enough. Hotch gripped his hips firmly to hold him in place but it wasn't enough either. He dropped to place his forearms on the wall and let his head hang. Every single thrust after that was just as hard and it felt wonderful. The hands on his hips gripped him tighter and he ached to reach down. Hotch was hitting his prostate on every single thrust and he needed release so badly. 

Shifting around, he braced himself on one arm and before he could even think of moving his hand down, Hotch grabbed it. He hadn't realized that Hotch had let go of his hip to do that. 

"I don't think so, Reid." Hotch kept a hold of his hand but pulled out of his ass. Spencer groaned at the loss. He wanted the older man back inside of him. 

"I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for." Hotch's mouth was right by his ear. "I told you that I want to fuck you until you scream. My last partner was as big as me but you." A tug on his wrist and Spencer went where Hotch wanted him. His back was against the wall and he was confused as to what was going to happen. A memory of a book on positions told him there was only one that Hotch would want to do against the wall like this. The remark about size of his previous partner also made sense now. "I can see you thinking. Want to try it?"

"I don't know." Spencer was honest. This was his only sexual encounter out of a bed and he was a little wary of allowing someone to hold him up against a wall and fuck him. He knew that Hotch was athletic but being able to keep his weight up as well as fuck him, he wasn't sure. 

"Do you want to try it? Not right at this moment but in the future? Or is it a no go?" Hotch stepped closer, trapping his body against the wall. His hands trailed down his sides to settle on his hips, gripping him tight as he started to thrust their hard cocks together. Spencer leaned into a kiss and looped his arms around Hotch's neck. A wicked chuckle came out of the older man's mouth. A second later hands on his hips shifted to his ass and lifted him. He tightened his hold on Hotch's neck and wrapped his legs around his waist. He didn't even think of what he was doing except that it would keep him from falling. He felt the cock at his crack and moaned. He shoved the worry out of his mind. Everyone told him that he needed to be more adventurous.

"Fuck me, Hotch," Spencer said after he pulled back from the kiss. He watched the older man's eyes dilate even further and then he was being lifted a little higher. Then he was impaled on Hotch's cock with little issue. The angle was different but still his prostate was hit with nearly every single thrust. The older man was holding him up with just his hips and his own pressure against the wall. The second he let his head fall back against the wall, Hotch's lips were there on his shoulders kissing, nipping, and then just an outright bite. It was the bite that did him in. He came with a strangled cry and then, when the bite turned even harder, a scream of pleasure. 

Spencer rode the high of his orgasm as Hotch thrust into him a few more times. His hips were grabbed in a bruising hold and he was jerked downward, hard. Hotch groaned and stilled. Spencer waited for Hotch to lift his head before he unwrapped his legs. The older man didn't let him go at first and it wasn't until he let go of Hotch's neck that he understood why. His legs were shaky. 

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" 

"No." Spencer was honest. His shoulder would probably bruise a little but it was worth it. 

"Try and get some sleep."

"After I shower. Did you want to?" Spencer waved towards his bathroom but Hotch shook his head. He pulled the condom off his cock and tied it off. He looked around for a trash can. "Kitchen."

"No. I'll shower when I get home." Hotch moved towards the kitchen, throwing away the condom and the wrapper he pulled from his pants pocket and set the lube on the counter. He did up his shirt and Spencer just watched. He could see what people saw in him. He was very good looking, even if he didn't smile as much when he was working. In fact, Spencer probably saw him smile more during their encounters than he had working with him. It surprised him when Hotch was suddenly standing in front of him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Anytime. You know that." Still Hotch leaned in and kissed his cheek uttering the thanks again, softly in his ear. Spencer stayed quiet as Hotch let himself out. It wasn't in Hotch's character to not be nice, even if it was just with someone he had sex with and didn't care about more than just as co-workers. 

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Spencer could admit that he was tired. A lot more tired than he had been before Hotch had showed up. He needed to lockup and shower. 

Spencer wiped away the steam from the mirror in his bathroom and looked at himself. He could see a faint bruise starting to form on his shoulder where Hotch had bit him. Then he noticed the bruises on his hips. Spencer turned to the side to see the entire bruise. Given the position, it had to have been done when Hotch was taking him from behind. He laid his own hand over it. He was surprised that he could elicit enough passion in anyone that they would want to bruise him. That they would want to hold onto him hard enough to lay a claim. The biting, he could understand. Given what Hotch had told him, Haley didn't seem to want anything to mar her skin after they had sex. That was what Spencer was there for. An outlet for Hotch's needs. 

When he was done inspecting his body for bruises, Spencer laid down in bed, pulling only his sheet over him. It was warm in the apartment and he didn't want to start sweating. He enjoyed their encounters and he didn't want to change them.


	6. Interlude I-Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S1-Machismo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> General Tag Update-I added a lot of tags so please be warned. If you see a tag up that you don't want to read, just ask and I'll tell you which chapter/chapters has it in it so you can skip.
> 
> And as always betaed by the wonderful Charlie_Remington

Spencer dropped his messenger bag onto the table inside the door. He was tired from the case in Mexico followed by a night of little sleep and a day of just working on case files. Starting the coffee pot was his first order of business and he really needed it. He'd just clicked the button for brewing when his land line rang. He picked it up without looking at the caller ID. 

"Doctor Reid."

"Spencer, it's Haley. I know that you've got to be tired but I wanted to talk to you. Do you think we could maybe meet for coffee? Aaron is still at the office if you are worried about that."

"Why would I be worried?" Spencer frowned as he watched the last drips of his coffee out of the filter. When it was done, he quickly poured himself a cup before placing sugar in it. The first drink was heavenly.

"He's made a comment on how you worry that he's not getting enough time with Jack."

Spencer didn't know what to say to that. So he decided not to make a comment on it at all. "I haven't eaten dinner yet. So how about the coffee shop near the office. I can get dinner there as well as coffee."

"Sounds good. I've met Aaron there before. An hour? Will that be enough time?"

"Sure."

He'd have to drive for once but that was okay. He hadn't used his car in a while. 

XxXxXxX

Spencer was seated with his coffee at the shop when he looked up and saw Haley entering the shop with a stroller. He harshly swallowed the spit in his mouth, choking slightly as he did. Why had she brought Jack? He stood up when she neared the table and she smiled at him. There was no Hotch around this time to be a buffer. He probably never would have agreed if he'd been more awake and less tired. 

"Mrs...Haley," Spencer greeted. Haley laughed and pulled him into a hug. Spencer returned it slowly. This woman confounded him more than most women he'd met. "I ordered you a cup of coffee but I haven't ordered food."

"Spencer, please. Calm down." Haley took the seat opposite him and moved Jack's stroller to where she could see him and even Spencer could. He already looked different from when he'd seen him for the first and only time. Less bald and less wrinkly. He could see the cuteness, sort of.

"What did you want to talk about?" Spencer asked, trying to at least have something to talk about that wasn't the weather or Jack. 

"I just want to make sure you are doing all right. Aaron's talked about a few of the cases you all have been on. I know that you don't have family in the area."

Spencer just looked at her for a few minutes. She never said anything, just sipped at her coffee and looked around. There was more to the meeting than just to see how he was. He wasn't sure what it was but he'd let it play out. Haley looked around and then looked back at him.

"Aaron talked to me a few months back, just before Gideon came back. He hadn't talked to me about visiting you. I asked him why and he didn't answer at first but after I asked him several more times over the week, he finally told me. After Boston, he was more afraid of what you would allow him to do than of not visiting you."

"What?" Spencer was a little shocked at the statement. "What did he mean?"

"You were floundering a little after Gideon went on medical leave. He was afraid that you would let him do whatever he wanted just to get a little bit of normalcy back in your life. It's why it took nearly a year for him to go back to you."

"It's why he came right after Gideon came back."

"That was part of it. The rest was that he needed it. Aaron has always stayed fit, Spencer. He runs when he can but it's not enough and he knows it. I know it. He was almost out the door once but he got to the car and stopped. He went on an hour run instead. As much as he needs it physically, he's afraid of hurting you emotionally."

"The team doesn't know much about my life." Spencer stopped to take a drink of his coffee. He also flagged down a waitress and placed an order for a sandwich. The waitress was used to him. She even refilled his coffee. He didn't know Haley that well and he didn't know how much he really wanted to tell her. Writing letters to his mother helped but having a living breathing person to talk to...it was better.

"Whatever you tell me will never come up with Aaron, I promise Spencer. I know that you all have a deal not to profile each other but Aaron has admitted there are times that it can't be helped. He keeps parts of himself back." Haley's words sounded genuine and the only thing that he could do was to be trusting. 

"My dad was a lawyer." 

"Was?" 

"I don't know what he does anymore. He left my mother and I when I was ten. Walked away and never looked back. My mom was sick and it was just the two of us. I was the weird kid who jumped grades in school and when I wasn't in school I took care of her on her bad days. We made it, her and I. I write to her everyday. Sometimes when she feels like it she writes me back." Spencer smiled. It was nice to talk to someone. He'd told her more in that bit of dialogue than he'd told anyone. Ethan was the only one who had ever been told the whole truth. There wasn't a single part of that that anyone on the team knew. 

"Aaron told me you graduated at age twelve. College at thirteen? Between that and taking care of your mother you never got to have a chance to be a teen did you?"

"I didn't know any different. It was normal for me. It was when I got to college and I was allowed to stay with actual classmates that I knew I was different. I was in a single dorm until I turned eighteen. Liability issues and such. Family dinners and other things that were left behind because of mom's illness. It's never bothered me. I'm happy and that's all that matters." Spencer smiled at her and hoped she left it at that. He hadn't known any different and delving into what he didn't have wasn't going to help him.

Jack chose that time to wake up from his sleep and started to get fussy. Haley smiled down at him as she picked him up. Spencer leaned back in his seat, one to keep distance between him and the baby and two the waitress was coming with his sandwich. She set the plate down with a smile and left them. He didn't lean forward again.

Haley pulled out a bottle from the bag and set about making up something for him to eat. Spencer kept his eyes on his own food. He'd heard JJ ask Hotch if Haley had been planning on breastfeeding. He hadn't ever heard the answer and even seeing this wasn't a tell. She was in public and Haley didn't seem like the kind of woman who wanted to try and buck the social rules of public breastfeeding. He didn't care either way but it was his superior's wife and he was sure that while Hotch didn't mind Spencer seeing him naked but seeing her naked? No.

"Aaron's told me of the Reid Effect." Haley gave him a wan smile as she said the words. 

"I'm uncomfortable around children and dogs and they know it so I cause them unease. The..." Spencer stopped himself. He flashed a smile at Haley before going back to take a bite of his sandwich. A hand on his wrist had him looking back up. Haley was moving to stand up. Then she was sliding into the booth with him. He had no clue what she was doing and he turned to face her, using one of his legs to keep her at a distance by placing it on the seat in between them. She just smiled and started to hand Jack over. "No."

"Yes, Spencer. You aren't going to hurt him and he sure as heck isn't going to hurt you." As the distance between him and Jack narrowed, Spencer brought his hands up to take a hold. It was instinct. He was being handed a baby. He didn't want to harm the baby. He didn't want to hurt _Jack_. Haley placed him gently in Spencer's hands, making sure he supported the head and then helped him tuck his arms into his own body so that he was cradling him safely. "You've just never been around a baby before have you?"

"No," Spencer answered as he looked down into Jack's face. His eyes were open and he was looking back up at him. He had Hotch's eye color. There was silence all around as he looked down at the sweet face looking up at him. It was a few minutes later that Jack started to get fussy again and Spencer looked up at Haley pleading for help. 

Instead of taking his little charge, she just shifted the infant around to where he had him tucked into one arm and handed over the bottle. She guided him and told him in a soft tone what he needed to do. Jack took to the bottle quickly. He wasn't fussing anymore and he was staring up at Spencer as he sucked on his bottle. 

"See? There isn't a single thing scary about babies." 

Haley retreated back to the other side of the table and Spencer barely paid any attention. When the bottle was half gone, Haley came back over and helped him situate Jack to where he was able to try and burp him. He wasn't able and Jack was starting to get fussy again so Haley took him and burped him before handing him back over. Spencer tried again to stop her but she just kept holding him out and Spencer gave in. He settled Jack into his arms and picked up the bottle again. 

Twenty minutes later, Jack was fed and burped, asleep on Spencer's shoulder. He was finally able to eat his sandwich. Haley was just smiling at him. 

"Thank you," Spencer whispered, not sure if he really wanted the woman to hear his words. He was out of his depth but he knew that it was a good experience. 

"You are very welcome, Spencer. Jack's a doll and he loves attention so he'll do whatever he can to get it. I can see that you love your mother dearly. What happened when you left?" 

Spencer chewed on the last bite of his sandwich for longer than he really needed before swallowing. Drawing out answering her. He could tell by the smile on her face that she knew what he was doing. It wasn't hard to see where she got it from. 

"I had her placed in a medical care facility. I did it on the day I turned eighteen."

"Oh." Haley looked like she wanted to ask more questions but was afraid to. 

"My mother is schizophrenic. There is no cure for her."

"And no one on the team has ever...asked about your family?"

"I'm spectacularly good about dodging their questions. I can start on a subject and go until they give up. I don't like to talk about it and I know that I have a chance of getting it. I'd rather they not look at me and think, ‘is he finally cracking?’ I don't need that kind of pressure."

"I understand." Haley reached across the table and laid her hand on his, just letting it rest there. A reassuring touch. One of the few he'd ever had in his life that hadn't come from his mother. He smiled at her, liking the touch. "So I want something sweet but I am still trying to work off a little baby weight. Split something with me?"

"If it's chocolate, I wouldn't mind at all." 

Haley only lingered a few minutes after the chocolate cake was gone. She bundled up Jack to take him out into the brisk late fall air. Spencer stayed longer, letting his mind wander over the fact that he was making friends with the wife of the man he was having sex with. It was going to end badly, for one of them and given his track record, it was going to be him. He was always the one. He wasn't going to stop though.


	7. Bleed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S1/S2-The Fisher King Parts 1 & 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New tags for future chapters.

Spencer crested the stairs to his floor and turned to face his door. The sight that greeted him was one he expected. Hotch was leaning against the wall just on the other side of his door. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with a bag thrown over his shoulder. No where near his normal Hotch attire. Hotch had texted him, asking his estimated arrival time back to the city after taking his mom home to Vegas. He just hoped that Hotch would stay home with Haley. She'd been very freaked out by the message sent to her home. He could understand. He hadn't been that happy about the one that had been waiting at Bennington for him. 

"Hotch."

"Reid. Did your you get your mom settled back in?" Hotch stayed where he was as Spencer got closer to his door but as soon as he stopped to put his key in, the older man was right there at his back. He fumbled at picking the right key when Hotch's hands settled on his hips. When he finally picked the right one and had it nearly to the door, Hotch closed the small distance between their bodies and his warmth settled along Spencer's back. That settled what Spencer had been wondering since Hotch had texted him. He wasn't there just to check on him. 

Did he want this? Did he want to let Hotch in knowing the state he knew that he was in? Hotch didn't push him. He just stayed there at his back, a comforting weight. Spencer unlocked the door and before he could open it, Hotch's hands shifted from his hips to around his stomach and one up his chest, holding him tight. 

"Mom's fine. She's happy to be home. I stopped and ate dinner on the way home. Do you want to come in?" Spencer threw open his door and let Hotch all but shove him inside. After setting down his things and kicking off his shoes, Spencer turned to talk to Hotch but found the older man not in the room. He moved towards the little hall that led to his bedroom and watched the older man set the bag he'd been carrying on the bed. He was intrigued, as other than lube Hotch had never really brought anything with him before. Before he could start towards the bedroom, the other man was moving towards him. The bedroom door was shut and Hotch smiled at him. 

That smile had Spencer stopping in his tracks. He swallowed and tried to open his mouth to speak but the look on Hotch's face had him snapping it shut. All that did was make Hotch smile even more and it turned downright feral. Two steps backward and Hotch sped up, before Spencer could even figure out what he wanted to do, he was against the wall with hands on either side of his head, trapping him in. 

"Don't go running anywhere."

"Hotch?" Spencer winced when his voice cracked. 

The older man shifted to where he was using his hips to hold Spencer in place against the wall and his hands went to Spencer's shirt. 

"Favorite shirt?" 

"No." Spencer drew out the syllable, not understanding why Hotch would ask such a question. He just stared at the downturned head as his shirt was drawn out of his pants and then ripped open, popping most if not all of the buttons off the fabric. Before he could even react, Hotch's mouth was on his collarbone. He tried to reach out to touch but his hands were jerked down followed by his shirt. Pulling on one arm, Spencer attempted to get his hand free of the shirt but his cuffs were still buttoned and the growl from his superior had him stopping all movement. The shirt was twisted and his hands trapped. Hotch had turned his shirt into handcuffs.

Head thudding back against the wall, Spencer closed his eyes. Being trapped at the mercy of a man who was bigger, stronger, and more experienced shouldn't be exciting him as much as it was. There was no way that Hotch could miss how hard he was in his pants, he'd been hard since before Hotch had trapped him against the wall. A hand on his chin, tilting his head up to where his neck was bared and then tongue licked from collarbone to jaw. Hands then worked to get his pants undone and Spencer wondered if Hotch had a kink of liking him naked while he was fully dressed. Last time he'd been fucked against the wall while Hotch had still been dressed. 

Spencer didn't know what Hotch wanted. It was the first time that he hadn't been around the other man just before their liaisons. He had no clue of his headspace. A tap on his ankle brought Spencer back to what was happening to him. Opening his eyes, he looked down to see his pants at his feet. He lifted the foot that had been tapped and when it was down his other was tapped. His socks were removed at the same time. Hotch pulled the phone from his pocket before throwing the pants towards the bedroom door. His phone was set on the floor beside them. Hotch looked up at him before he stood up. 

"Not too tight?" His eyes trailed down Spencer's arms to his bound wrists. 

"No."

"Good." Hotch leaned in again and started to kiss him. It was claiming and rough and Spencer swore he tasted blood. He didn't try and stop the kiss though. Spencer was quite shocked at the amount of kissing that Hotch wanted. What he'd read on most non romantic sexual liaisons was that kissing was kind of taboo. He didn't know why. Kissing Hotch hadn't made him want the older man outside of sex. It was fun between them. He got to expand his horizons and Hotch got to excise demons safely.

A hand on his shoulder and pressure applied had Spencer dropping to his knees. Hotch stepped back enough to give him room. He spared a glance at the bedroom door and then up at Hotch. A memory popped into the forefront of his mind. Hotch had talked about what he wanted to do to him one night. 

Hotch forced his head up so that they were looking at each other. "I see your brain working there. Are you okay with this?"

Spencer nodded.

"I need words, Reid." Hotch's thumb traced his lip and he felt where it was split a little. It had been blood he'd tasted. The small rush of pain had Spencer trying to lick at the wound to try and soothe it. Hotch groaned and slid his thumb inside his mouth. Spencer licked at it and then sucked when it was pressed farther inside. Hotch started to open his pants with his free hand as Spencer blew his thumb. The digit was pulled free and Spencer immediately opened his mouth and swallowed the cock in front of him. The hand that had been at his face was now in his hair, just holding on, not guiding him. Not yet. He tilted his head to the side and was able to get nearly all of the cock in his mouth before his gag reflex tried to trigger. He pulled back, sucking. 

The hand in his hair tightened and he was pulled off. Hotch stared down at him. "I need words, Doctor Reid."

"I remember what you said and I am fine with it." Spencer licked out with his tongue, catching the tip of Hotch's cock. How bold did he want to be? "Come in my mouth, Hotch."

It must have been the right words because his hair was released and he was allowed to take the cock back in his mouth. It felt strange to have his hands trapped at his back, unable to balance himself or at least try and hold onto Hotch. He easily got into a rhythm that only faltered when his hair was grabbed again. He stopped his movements and waited. Hotch started to thrust in and out. Never going in farther than he had the last time he'd sucked the man's cock. He wasn't sure what he thought of swallowing but he'd try it. He knew what Hotch would probably taste like. It was easy to just let the older man control his head and for him to just let go. Just the thoughts of making Hotch go crazy had Spencer on the edge. If he worked his mind enough, he figured he could come himself without even touching his cock. 

Hotch was gasping and telling him that he felt good. He let the sounds wash over him and it was why he almost missed his superior telling him that he was close. He wasn't sure for a second what he was supposed to do but he calmed himself down and stopped sucking, using his tongue and lips to keep the pressure up and then Hotch was stilling. 

Spencer wasn't ready for the taste. It was a great deal saltier than Hotch's pre-cum. Still he swallowed as he was let go of. Hotch pulled all the way out, leaning against the opposite wall and just stared at him. 

"You look thoroughly debauched." Hotch stared for several more seconds and then started to zip up his pants after tucking himself back in. When he was done he helped Spencer to stand and released his hands. The shirt was thrown with the pants. He was getting ready to ask what next when he was shoved towards the bedroom. He smiled when he opened the door and Hotch's hand slid around his boxer covered waist and cupped his still hard sex. "I picked up a set of the padded cuffs."

"Really?" Spencer asked as he was spun and then marched backwards to the bed. The slide to where Hotch felt comfortable manhandling had been slow but he found he quite liked it. It was passion and raw need. Something he wasn't used to. A new experience for him. 

"Haley is visiting her parents and staying overnight with Jack. I don't have to rush out of here. I was thinking of seeing how many times I can get you off tonight." Hotch's eyes were dangerous looking. It was the same look he'd had in the hall before he'd jumped Spencer. He shivered. That earned him a nip on his shoulder. His cock ached for more than the little contact that Hotch was giving him. "First though, let's get you on the bed." 

Spencer was released from Hotch's hold and he moved towards the bed, laying down on his back, ignoring the bag sitting at his hips. The bag looked pretty full so there had to be more than just handcuffs in there. Hotch unzipped the bag and pulled the cuffs out. He could tell that they were regular cuffs with a layer of leather around the part that touched him. He was shocked when they were handed over to him. He took them and looked at them. There was a little bit of something in between the metal and the leather that gave the pair a little more padding, the chain linking the two cuffs was a also a bit longer than normal cuffs. Spencer handed them back over and Hotch set them on the pillow, leaning over him. 

"I have other things in there but they can wait until later. In the morning, we'll find a place for it in your closet or something." Hotch pulled a key from a pocket and unlocked the cuffs. Spencer shifted up the bed. He still wasn't sure on the cuffs but he'd try it until he formed an opinion. Hotch seemed to like him in them. He knew what it was born of. A need to have Spencer at his mercy. A control in his life that he was missing in some way. The handcuffs felt weird around his wrists with the soft leather wrapped around the metal. He'd only ever worn the regular handcuffs. And as a kid he'd spent a lot of time in them, learning how to pick the lock and get out of them. 

"Okay?" Hotch asked. 

"Fine." The only time he'd been bound by an UnSub it had been zip ties. He wasn't going to freak out. Hotch stood at the end of the bed, looking at him as he stripped out of his shirt. When the bed dipped, Spencer spread his legs, laughing internally, as Hotch groaned. The older man had to have seen something on his face because it went from slightly playful to hard in seconds. Spencer swallowed and stared. 

"Feel like being playful?" Hotch asked as he pulled his belt from the loops. For a few seconds, Spencer was worried until his superior threw the belt to the side. There was no way that the other man missed the play of emotions on his face. He didn't react though. He didn't say anything. Instead, he moved farther up the bed pushing Spencer's legs out wider with his hands. His boxers tightened at the thighs at the odd angle. "Are you?"

Spencer swallowed again, not knowing which way he should answer. He was feeling playful but he wasn't sure if Hotch wanted him to feel playful. Honesty was the best answer, no matter the consequences. "Yes." 

Hotch laughed. It wasn't a laugh that Spencer had ever heard out of him before. It was dark and playful at the same time. The sound of it shot straight to his dick, making it harden even more. The older man gripped the edge of his boxers and started to pull, forcing his legs closed. He tried to wet his mouth but all moisture was gone from it. Hotch was still dressed in his pants. "Let's see how playful you really are."

The bed dipped as Hotch leaned over to grab the lube from the drawer. 

Spencer could only gasp as the first finger entered him. Hotch wasn't playing around. The older man held one of his legs up while his ass was fingered. With hands above his head and his leg trapped, Spencer could only thrash his head around. He was shocked at how different this felt from the first times. The burn was barely there as he felt three fingers enter him. On nearly every single thrust of fingers, Hotch was hitting his prostate. He felt on edge like a single touch to his cock was going to send him over the edge. 

"Please, Hotch," Spencer begged.

"Please what? What do you want, Doctor Reid?" 

The name had him shivering and it was enough but before he could actually come, Hotch reached down and grabbed the base of his cock, chasing it away. Spencer groaned and looked Hotch straight in the eyes. He'd never done something like that before. His leg was dropped and Hotch moved up the bed. 

"You wanted playful. Don't you dare come before I come back into the room, Reid." And then Hotch was moving off the bed, his pants dropping to the floor. The older man moved to the bathroom and Spencer could only watch as he disappeared from sight behind the now shut door. 

Spencer stared in shock at the door for several minutes as he heard the water in the shower turned on and then the click of the shower door. Hotch was really taking a shower! The clatter of a bottle of something told him that he really was. He wasn't playing. There were several things that he could do. He was petulant enough that he was tempted to get himself off. There was enough slack in the chain between cuffs to where he could turn over and rub himself off. 

At least now he had gauge of where Hotch's head was at. Spencer smiled as a thought popped into his mind. Hotch had cuffed his hands so that they were resting on his pillows. Thankfully the angle was perfect. He took a second to listen to what was happening in the bathroom. The water was hitting the floor of the shower more than the man so he was probably soaping himself up. He didn't have much time. Spencer found the tape and easily ripped it off one of the pillars on his bed frame. He'd thought about it just about the time he'd started at the BAU. There were probably people that would look at it and think that he was crazy but a lot of murder cases happened in the home. Having a home set up for an eventuality was normal for him. 

It only took a minute to get the first cuff unlocked. It would have been quicker except he wasn't familiar with the cuffs and the padding threw him off. Once he had the second one undone, he quickly slipped the straightened paperclip back where he'd gotten it and set the cuffs at the end of the bed just as the water in the shower shut off. Spencer laid back down and waited. He didn't have to wait long. As soon as he heard the soft padding towards the door he started to stroke his cock. He tried to keep his face still and not grin.

The look on Hotch's face was priceless. Spencer was glad that he would never forget it. It was pure shock. A look that he'd never seen cross his superior's face. Hotch looked from Spencer's face, to the hand on his cock, to the cuffs at the foot of the bed and back again. The older man took a step towards the bed but Spencer didn't stop stroking his cock. 

"I see a second set of cuffs is in order." Hotch smiled as he dropped to his knees on the bed. He snatched Spencer's hand and lifted it off his cock. "You didn't come so that's good. I forget how good you are at magic and sleight of hand. So where is it, Reid?"

Hotch used his free hand to slide it between his knees and then his hip to slide in between his legs. Then his hands were jerked over his head to rest of the pillows. 

"Where is what, Sir?" Spencer asked, letting a cheeky smile grace his face. The darkening of Hotch's eyes even farther and the jump of his cock told him that the Sir hadn't gone unnoticed. 

"The paper clip or whatever you used to get out of the cuffs."

"That would be telling, Sir." 

"Is that how you want to play it?" Hotch leaned back, releasing his hands. "Hands and knees."

Spencer moved quickly to get into position. He felt a hand at the small of his back and then two fingers slid inside of him. He felt the coldness of fresh lube and the the fingers were gone. Something larger slid to just touch his entrance. 

"I'd grab a hold of something," Hotch warned. 

As soon as Spencer had a hold of the bars of his bed, Hotch thrust inside of him in one go. The hands stopped him from getting away as they grabbed his hips to hold him. Spencer gasped at the feeling of being full. A few thrusts and Spencer realized that something felt different. He thought over what they had done and then knew what it was. Hotch hadn't put on a condom. They'd made the decision that it was up to what they wanted that night. This wasn't going to be a round and then Hotch would leave. Hotch slammed into him so hard he almost lost his balance on his knees.

"So hot," Hotch whispered as he leaned over his back. Spencer was shocked when his hands were jerked off the rails and he was coaxed to straighten up. It changed the angle that he was thrust into at. One of the other man's arms looped around his stomach, his other settled on his hip for a minute before reaching down and grabbing his cock. Hotch spread his pre-cum and used it as lube to stroke him up and down. The pressure wasn't enough though. 

"Hotch, please let me come. Please." He needed it so bad. The hand on his cock stilled though. The arm around his stomach moved up tilting his head to rest on Hotch's shoulder. As he was thrust into with no arm around his stomach, he faulted and almost tipped over. Spencer threw an arm up and looped it behind Hotch's head. He gripped the base of his skull to stop from falling over. 

"Who says I'm done with you, Reid?" Hotch started thrusting into him harder. All Spencer could do was hold on. His free hand was grabbed and linked with Hotch's. He didn't understand what the older man wanted but he couldn't form words other than please, which spilled over his lips over and over. 

The linked hands gripped his cock and started to stroke counter to the thrusts inside of him. 

"Please, Hotch. Oh God, please. Please." Spencer didn't even try and stop the litany of words from his lips. 

"Come," Hotch said as he gripped on Spencer's cock even tighter. He didn't hold back anymore. Spencer couldn't stop himself as Hotch bit his neck and he was lost. He felt Hotch's thrusting stutter and then one final hard thrust that toppled them both over. Hotch had come.

Spencer didn't even try and move. They had turned enough to where Hotch wasn't wholly on top of him and he could breath. A hand on his hip was the only warning he got as Hotch carefully pulled out. 

"Sorry," Hotch whispered, sounding ashamed. 

If Spencer could have rolled over he would have. He had no clue what Hotch would need to be sorry for. "I...You didn't do anything wrong."

"I didn't ask before..."

"The moment I realized that you hadn't put on a condom I could have stopped you. It's fine. I promise."

The silence told Spencer that Hotch was debating that with him. Finally the older man sighed and Spencer settled down, trying still to catch his breath. He knew he couldn't get up to clean up, not without face planting on the floor. He'd need a few more minutes. Hotch though pushed himself up and padded to the bathroom. Spencer had almost gotten up the gumption to follow him when he reappeared with a hand towel in each hand. 

"Stay. I..." Hotch stopped talking as his sat down at Spencer's hip. "I wasn't the most gentle with you and I want to make sure I didn't hurt you."

"What?" Spencer was confused but he allowed his body to be manipulated to where one leg was tucked up to his side and sort of under him. The first towel, wet, was passed between his cheeks and then Hotch was spreading said cheeks. He hissed as a finger was run over his entrance. 

"No blood and no signs that I hurt you. I didn't mean to be that rough with you." Hotch rolled him to the side, wiping down his front before drying him with the other towel. Spencer buried his head in the blanket on the bed to try and cover the yawn that ripped loose from him. Hotch chuckled and then a hand was in his hair. It wasn't grabbing but petting. 

"No," Spencer protested but another yawn came out at the same time. 

"Sleep, Reid. You are going to need it. This was just round one."

"Round one?" Spencer asked but he never heard an answer as he let his eyes fall closed and he was asleep. 

XxXxXxX

Spencer felt the fingers at his hole and it's what woke him up. He was asleep on his front on a towel. Hotch had placed it under him after round three. He shifted to try and get his knees under him but Hotch placed a hand on his lower back. 

"No. Just like this. I know you are still tired. I was just checking to see how you are doing. I don't want to hurt you." A kiss was placed at the top of his crack before he felt warmed lube smeared over his entrance. Then Hotch's cock was there pushing inside him. The older man had told him after round three that he probably wouldn't need any stretching for round four. It was still dark outside and the only light in the room was the nightlight near the bathroom door. Hotch had turned the lights on for rounds two and three. He wondered why he hadn't for this one. "Still so tight. God, Reid you're perfect."

Not knowing what to answer to that, Spencer just stayed silent. He wasn't sure if he had it in him to get hard again but obviously Hotch was. Round three had really worn him out. Before a quick shower it had been sex against the bathroom wall. Hotch's hands weren't still. One was caressing his side while the other was planted at Spencer's shoulder, keeping the older man up. Another new position. He hadn't found one he liked better than up against the wall and hands and knees. Hotch hadn't said one he liked either. He was pretty sure that any one that had the older man's cock in him made him happy.

"You okay?" Hotch's voice was still soft. It had to the darkness around them. It was intimate and Spencer wasn't sure that he liked it. Hotch was too gentle. 

"Just uncomfortable. Can we switch around or something?" Spencer asked as soon as the words were out of his mouth, Hotch was pulling out of him. His own cock gave a small jerk and was starting to harden, Spencer was little shocked. 

"How do you want?" 

Spencer leaned over and clicked on the light and then settled on his knees. Hotch didn't need any prompting, he slid back in with ease and started to fuck him hard. Hotch had his hands on his hips and Spencer noticed that this time there was a condom on his cock. That meant that this was probably the last round of the night. Spencer was thankful. He didn't have work the next morning but one never knew when a case was going to come up and although Strauss had said she'd try to keep them off rotation, it was never a guarantee. He wanted to go see Elle. First, he needed a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

"Better?"

"Much." Spencer braced himself on one arm and started to finger his own cock. Hotch hadn't stopped him with round two so he licked his hand and returned it to his cock. If Hotch lasted long he'd be surprised. His erection had waned a little but with Hotch thrusting into him and hitting his prostate on almost every single one, it wasn't going to take him long. 

The only noise in the room was shifting of the bed and it's sheets, Hotch's harsh breathing and Spencer's own not as labored breathing. Hotch had well and truly worn him out. He let out only a groan as he spilled over his hand, making sure that it landed on the towel. He kept himself up as he felt Hotch start to stutter. Soon the man grabbed his hips and pulled him in tight. 

When Hotch started to pull out, Spencer let himself collapse. He didn't care that he was in his own wet spot. He was dead tired. The chuckle from Hotch gave Spencer the urge to hit him with a pillow but he didn't. As much as they had sex, this wasn't a relationship or even truly a friendship. The friendship was growing but he wasn't as close to Hotch as he was to Morgan, JJ, and even Elle. Still he smiled.

"I don't think much is going to keep me from passing out and not waking up for several hours," Spencer said into his pillow. 

"Roll over."

Spencer did as he asked and felt the towel brush over his stomach and groin before it was pulled from under his hips and side and tossed towards the bathroom. He listened as Hotch got dressed with his eyes closed. He heard the man at the closet and the sound of metal clinking told him the cuffs were dropped off by the bag inside. Hotch had found his paperclip taped to the bed and had laughed when he'd woken Spencer up for round two. 

"Sleep well, Reid."

"There is no doubt. Have a safe trip home, Hotch."

Spencer tried to stay awake for the sound of his door shutting but he didn't. Sleep overtook him and he was gone. He didn't figure that Hotch would forget to lock it.


	8. Jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S2-No Way Out

Spencer knew he'd show up. There wasn't a single person on the team that wasn't trying to find some kind of release after the case they had. Gideon may have been the most affected but that didn't mean the rest weren't. 

As the minutes ticked by, Spencer began to doubt that Hotch was going to show up. After showering, the genius had changed into a pair of jeans with no underwear. After that he'd slipped on one of his few tanks tops and a long sleeved unbuttoned shirt over that. It was comfortable to him and Hotch had shown an appreciation the last time he'd been boxer-less when he'd shown up at his place. It was a concession that Spencer could live with. The feel of the jeans on his bare ass and crotch felt weird and he wasn't really sure if he liked it or not. He was also a little uncomfortable with his other surprise for Hotch. 

When another half an hour passed, Spencer let himself admit that he needed what Hotch offered. This was the first case that he'd felt like he'd go insane if Hotch didn't show up. Sure, he'd already gone through his normal routine of what he did after a hard case. His computer was still turned on but asleep from where he'd worked on an article he wanted to try and get published. A second pot of coffee was sitting in the kitchen. He wasn't sure if he would be able to sleep once Hotch left. 

If Hotch ever got there. It had been going on long enough that he was usually better at predicting the cases that Hotch needed a release from. He moved to the window as he couldn't take sitting in his chair anymore. He was a ball of nervous energy that had nothing to do with the coffee he'd drunk. 

The measured knock on the door made Spencer jump but he rushed to the door. Checking the peephole he saw Hotch outside. The sight of him made his blood race. He opened the door trying not to just throw it open. He didn't want to appear that he'd been just waiting. 

"Expecting someone?" Hotch asked with a smile on his face. He was still dressed in his clothes from work. Usually when he went home first he changed. 

"Yes." Spencer stepped back and let Hotch enter the apartment. 

"Good. Jack's a little colicky so I settled him down before leaving."

Spence shrugged. "We don't have a set time and you didn't tell me you were coming. I just kind of figured. I got an article written and my kitchen cleaned." It wasn't anything Hotch needed to worry about. 

Hotch didn't say anything, just smiled and shook his head. Spencer could tell when he noticed the clothes. The older man's eyes moved down and then back up his body. The lust in his eyes was evident. He didn't know what his superior saw in his body that made him lust after him but he'd take it any day.

Spencer was shocked out of his thinking when he was jerked closer to Hotch, a finger curled in his belt loop. The loop was used to pull him over to the couch. Hotch sat down and Spencer was settled over his lap. His hands settled on Spencer's hips and he was pulled closer. Hotch didn't kiss him. Not on the lips. No, his neck was attacked at the same time that his head was tipped back. As Hotch moved down his neck, the kisses became harsher and the nips stung more. He reached behind himself to grab Hotch's knees to hold himself up while he tasted every single inch of skin he could reach. 

A hand slid up his chest and then around his side and back down, settling on his jean covered ass, pulling him forward. Hotch was hard as a rock. Spencer was pretty aroused but he wasn't that hard. 

"What do you want?" Spencer whispered in Hotch's ear as the older man sucked a bruise on his upper chest. It was right where his tie would sit when dressed for work. 

"To fuck you," Hotch growled and moved down his chest to bite at a nipple through the fabric of the tank top. 

"Yes, but how? Where?" It was getting easier to ask.

"Right here. When I am done marking you, I want you on your knees sucking me." Hotch started to unbutton his jeans and slid a hand in the back to grip his cheek. "Then I'm going to pull you up here and you are going to ride me."

"How?" Spencer asked. Hotch pulled back and growled at him.

"Shut up."

"Shutting up, Sir."

A quirked eyebrow told him his cheek was understood. He smirked back at his superior. The sharp, sudden smack on his ass shocked him and by the look on Hotch's face, he hadn't planned on doing it. Spencer cocked his head to the side as he leaned back a little farther from him. He stared at the older man. It was exactly like the handcuffs, he didn't know what he felt about that. His erection was still there, it hadn't softened at all but he had been so surprised he didn't know if it had hardened anymore. He needed to think. 

Spencer slid backwards off Hotch's lap and the man didn't stop him. He didn't know what to say to him so Spencer stayed silent. He showed Hotch that he was okay by pulling off his overshirt and then the tank top. Hotch's gaze raked over each piece of flesh as it was revealed. When his upper body was naked, he dropped to his knees and shuffled back over to Hotch.

Hands hesitated on Hotch's belt and when a nod was given, Spencer unbuckled the belt and tossed it to where he'd tossed his shirts. He untied the shoes next and slipped them off along with his socks. He scooted back and pulled Aaron up using the belt loops so that he could slide his pants off of him. He stayed on his knees, cursing his hard floors. He made a mental note to get a rug if he enjoyed what they were about to do. Pushing at Hotch's stomach, the older man sat back down, his legs spread in invitation. 

Hotch smelled clean, like he'd showered just before coming over. Why did he dress in his work clothes again? Spencer wasted no time in taking the cock into his mouth. As soon as he got used to the length, Hotch seemed to just know and grabbed his hair. Spencer had figured it was coming. Hotch loved grabbing his hair and forcing him to do what he wanted. The headspace gave him what just what he wanted. He could chase his demons from the case away with the loss of control. With his mind only focusing on the pleasure that he was giving Hotch, he let the rest of his mind go blank. He didn't have to worry about a thing. Hotch never went farther into his mouth than any of the other times. 

The taste of Hotch's cock was becoming something he enjoyed. He could understand why some men and even women loved to suck cock. Spencer shifted on his knees and his surprise moved as well. He moaned, the vibrations translating down to the cock in his mouth and Hotch pulled him off roughly. The pain on his skin where his hair was pulling had him bracing as he came. He braced on Hotch's thighs as he dropped his head to the man's stomach, forcing Hotch to let go of his hair. Panting, Spencer tried to get his breath back. 

"Reid?" Hotch sounded worried but Spencer couldn't answer. Hands pulled at him and he allowed the older man to pull him up into his lap. The feel of Hotch's shirt on his naked skin set him to shivering. A hand trailed down his back, trying to settle him down. "Did I go too far? Did I hurt you?"

Spencer couldn't answer so he grabbed at Hotch's hand and slid it in between their bodies to his jeans which were wet. Hotch moaned and pulled him into a hard kiss. When he had control of his body again, Spencer started to unbutton Hotch's shirt. As soon as the final button was done, Hotch leaned them forward to strip it off. 

"You don't understand how hot that is, Reid. That you came from sucking my cock and I know you didn't touch yourself." Hotch pushed at him until he stood up. The jeans were jerked off of him and before he could even say a word about his surprise, Hotch's hand was there. His eyes widened when he touched the plug. "No wonder you shot off like a rocket." 

Spencer closed his eyes as Hotch shoved the plug a little farther inside of him. It felt so good.

"Please," Spencer begged.

"Please what? Play with this more? Or jerk it out and shove myself in?" Hotch was stroking up and down on his cock. Instead of answering, Spencer leaned over and opened up the drawer in his coffee table and handed over the smaller tube of lube that he'd bought a week before with the plug, just for the living room. Hotch wasted no time in slicking himself up and pulling Spencer into his lap. Hotch wasn't gentle as the plug was jerked from his hole and it was replaced easily with the older man's hard cock. He was on his knees, his legs spread over Hotch's lap. Hand on his hip, Hotch directed him how fast up and then back down until he got into the rhythm. 

Spencer was hard again in no time. He rocked and thrust himself on the hard cock. Hotch's mouth wasn't idle. He tasted every single inch of skin that he could reach before he stilled Spencer. 

"Turn around. Back against my chest. Legs over mine."

Spencer did as he was told and sighed as Hotch slid back inside of him. His legs were draped on the outside of Hotch's and he wasn't in a position where he could do much of anything. He wondered what the man had planned for a few seconds before he was slammed into. All he could do was try and hold on as Hotch slammed into him over and over again. He tried to hold off but the angle was too much and he came all over himself when Hotch barely brushed his cock with a hand. 

Once more he was slammed into and then the hand on his hip squeezed so tight that he was sure it would bruise. Hotch's breathing picked up as he came. Spencer slumped down into the man below him. 

"Are you okay?" Hotch asked as his hands trailed up and down his thighs. His legs were trembling.

"Yes. I just...Nerves."

"Nerves? From what? Your toy?" Hotch's voice was soft and his breath ghosted over Spencer's sweat soaked neck and shoulder. 

"I bought it last week and I wanted to try it out but I chickened out and then this case...I didn't know what I needed. I worked on a paper, cleaned my kitchen and I couldn't settle. I went to the bathroom to shower and I saw the bag lying in the bathroom. I stretched myself out in the shower and then when I was done I lubed it up. It felt so weird but good. I...liked it."

"It makes nights like this nice. I will never not prep you in some way. I am not into that kind of pain. I don't want to hurt you like that but if you do that, I can just slam home inside of you."

"That part was nice. No fumbling around."

"It seems that it's all you need, along with my cock in your mouth, to come."

Spencer felt the blush creep up his neck. He was sitting on his superior's lap with his softening cock inside of him and he was blushing at the thought of being taken roughly. 

"We'll have to play around with that."

"It wasn't so much the..." Spencer paused.

"Plug," Hotch whispered in his ear. He could hear the smile in his voice. 

"The plug," Spencer said a little more forceful than he normally would. "I was losing myself in your pleasure. The taste, the feel, I needed to get away from my brain."

"And it worked?" Hotch asked. He lifted at Spencer's hips and he moved off of him. He grabbed his jeans and slipped them on as he stood up. He knew he'd have to shower again but it was fine. 

"I came didn't I?" Spencer said the words before he even thought about them. Hotch's eyes narrowed and he was jerked back into the older man's lap. 

"There's no need for snark, Reid." Hotch's hand came down on his ass again and this time he jumped. He wasn't ready for the spark of pleasure. Hotch's eyes were watching his face. Whatever emotions passed over must have been good because Hotch smiled at him. "Impact play?"

"I don't know." Spencer liked that Hotch was using technical terms. It helped calm him down a little. It was easier.

"It's something we can play with."

Spencer nodded.

"I just..." Hotch tipped his head to lean on the back of the couch. "When I came in tonight, you weren't mad that I showed up or that I was as late as I was."

"Yes?" Spencer urged him to carry on when he paused for near a minute.

"I just don't understand. I know that this isn't a 'relationship' per se but how can you be so easy with it? I interrupt your life. Jake had rules, you don't."

"I don't understand what you are asking. You never told me you were coming by tonight. Yes, I assumed that you would, hence my...toy. But I wouldn't have been upset if you hadn't. I probably would have masturbated in the shower and went to bed. As to the hour, you have a wife and young child at home. It would make sense you'd want to see them to bed before leaving as you get so little time with them. How can I get jealous over that? It's not like I want you to leave your family for me. That would just be stupid."

Hotch stared at him long enough for Spencer to become uncomfortable. He shifted on the man's lap and when a hand landed on his hip, softly, he stilled. His jeans were uncomfortable feeling between his release that had soaked the front and he could feel Hotch's leaking out of him. Hotch smirked at him and leaned down to grab something. His head was held so he couldn't see what the man was doing. His breathing picked up. He wasn't scared. He was excited. After coming twice he hadn't thought he'd get hard again. 

When his jeans were yanked down in the back, Spencer lifted up. Hotch pulled him closer until his legs were spread far on either side of him. He felt the plug brush at his entrance and he moaned. Hotch laughed as he slowly pushed the object into him. With one hand on the plug, the other moved to his slightly reawakened cock and started to stroke up and down. Spencer gasped. He was still so sensitive from his two previous orgasms. 

"Oh, God," Spencer uttered as he let his head drop to Hotch's shoulder. His hands were used to brace himself on the couch as he was fucked with the plug and stroked with Hotch's hand. 

"That's it. Just don't think. Feel." Hotch's voice was soft and soothing but exciting at the same time. Spencer never thought that being fucked with an object would feel this good. Hotch added a twist and a squeeze to the end of his stroke and between that and the plug, he was gone. While he laid slumped on the older man, his pants were pulled up and even buttoned. 

"You are going to kill me one of these days," Spencer muttered. Hotch just laughed.

"That would be hard to explain at work. That I fucked you to death."

"I can't do much but I can..." Spencer reached down to try and give Hotch a hand job but his hand was grabbed. 

"No. I'm fine. I'll help you into the bathroom but washing up, you'll need to do that on your own."

Hotch helped him down into the bathroom, even grabbing his dirty clothes and throwing them towards the washer. He grabbed sleep pants and left them on the counter.

"I'll lock up. You looked fucked out."

Spencer felt like flipping him off but didn't. Instead he listened as Hotch moved around the apartment. When he heard the front door shut, he finally turned on the water and just let it flow over him. Before Hotch, masturbation had been something he'd done on occasion but it was never part of his routine. It was something he did when he became horny. Now with Hotch though, he didn't crave sex per se. He wasn't going to go out and find it wherever but his routine of masturbation was changed. The sex with Hotch though, he could see himself becoming addicted.


	9. Drugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S2-Jones

_Day One_  
Spencer wasn't shocked when the knock came at his door. He'd been expecting it. He just wasn't sure if he wanted to answer it. He'd been debating that with himself since he'd been able to slip away from the office. The letter sitting on his coffee table had been waiting for him when he'd got home. He recognized the stationary for the medical section of the FBI. He had opened the envelope up and found the results he wanted. The local section of the FBI to Georgia had tested Tobias for HIV and various other blood borne pathogens. He'd gone three weeks before and had more blood drawn to test him as well. This was the results of both sets of tests. Negative. 

"Reid, open up, please." Hotch's voice carried across the door and to where Spencer was sitting on his couch. He wanted to open the door. He wanted to give in to what Hotch offered but he didn't want it. He could feel the effects of withdrawal setting in. The knock sounded again, just this time louder. "Open up!" 

Spencer let himself tip over on his couch. It was facing away from the door so he could almost block it all out. Before he could even think about telling Hotch to go away, the sound of a key in the lock startled him up and off the couch. Before he could jump and slam the deadbolt or the chain on, the door opened. As if expecting him to be there, Hotch slid his foot in the door to hold it open. 

"Back up, Reid."

"I don't want company right now, Hotch. Just go home."

"I can't do that. Just let me in." Hotch waited but when Spencer didn't move away or say anything for several minutes he shoved at the door and Spencer stumbled back. Hotch was inside the apartment and the door was shut before he was steady on his feet. 

"I didn't invite you in. Go away, Hotch." Spencer was now getting mad. Where the hell had the concern been in the days between being taken and now?

"Reid, we need to talk." 

"Go home to your wife." Spencer turned towards his kitchen. He didn't think he could drink a thing but he felt safer in the kitchen. His stomach was cramping and the nausea was starting. He wanted to crawl into bed and settle down to pass the worst of the symptoms. A hand on his shoulder stopped him and he spun around, surprised that he wanted to throw a punch. Hotch was looking at him with such worry in his eyes and he didn't want it. He was fine and could take care of himself. Shoving Hotch's hand away, Spencer muttered. "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."

"Is this what you have become?" Hotch asked as he followed him even farther into the kitchen. 

"Don't lecture me, Hotch. I'm not a child!" Spencer slammed the mug in his hand down and it shattered, shards flying everywhere. He moved to take a step back but a hand on his arm stopped him. He was barefooted and he didn't want his feet cut to shreds. 

"I'll get the broom. Where is it?"

Spencer pointed and watched as his superior cleaned up the ceramic and placed it in the trash can. 

"I know you are not a child but I can't watch you handle this alone anymore. You never should have to begin with. I can't believe that I let Gideon tell me to back off. You've handled everything else in your life alone but you aren't alone anymore. You have the team and we forgot that. Haley reminded me."

"You talked about this to Haley?" Spencer asked as he advanced on Hotch. Something on his face had to have scared him because the older man took a few steps back before he stopped. Spencer sidestepped him and threw open the door and then moved right back in front of him. "You talked to your wife about me and my problems?"

"Reid," Hotch started but he didn't get any farther because Spencer shoved at him. Hotch only moved back a step before he shoved again. Hotch didn't move that time. Instead he waited for the third try and then grabbed Spencer's hands, gripping them tight. The issues with his body forgotten for the moment, Spencer fought with all he had, trying to break the grip. The older man kept a hold of him and even in Spencer's rage he realised that Hotch was going out of his way not to hurt him. It almost broke his resolve but he needed the man to leave. 

"JUST FUCKING LEAVE!" Spencer shoved with his trapped hands and instead of shoving the man away they both tumbled to the floor. Before he could try and scramble away, Hotch wrapped his legs around his and between his trapped hands and now held legs, Spencer was stuck at his mercy. "Why won't you just fucking leave?"

"Because you need someone." Hotch sounded like he was near tears.

Spencer gave up then. He just let his body slump down onto the older man. He was so tired and he was in pain. Hotch let go of his hands and one of his arms slid around his upper back to hold him still while the other hand moved to his hair, petting him. He couldn't stop how badly his body was shaking now. There was no way that Hotch was missing it. 

"Reid?"

"I haven't had any in twelve hours, thirty three minute, and thirteen seconds," Spencer said as he looked at the clock on the wall. "I started the symptoms for withdrawal at the office."

"Where is it?" Hotch's voice was a whisper and he was thankful. His head was now hurting and he just wanted to sleep. 

"I broke the seals on the bottles as soon as I got home and poured them down the drain. I don't want to live on it, Hotch. I know that I don't need it. It just helped me forget everything."

Spencer was silent for several long minutes. He closed his eyes and breathed in the smell of Hotch's cologne and relaxed even more. He was exhausted and he slipped into sleep.

_Day Two_  
Spencer woke up covered in sweat. He tried to remember what happened. He was naked in bed with only a sheet over him. He could smell coffee and that scared him. Had he left the coffee pot on? He shoved himself up and tried to slip out of bed but his legs were jelly and he fell to the floor. He looked around for his clock. It was just after four in the morning. He couldn't remember anything and that truly frightened him. Checking his arm, he didn't see any fresh marks. What had happened?

The thud of feet drew his attention to the slightly shut door as it opened and Hotch entered, looking a little frantic.

"Reid, you okay?" Hotch crouched at his side reaching out to touch his shoulder. 

It was the touch that did it. He remembered everything from the night before. Hotch showing up, the withdrawals, the screaming, the fight in the living room. He'd also told Hotch he wouldn't try and get out of bed alone. 

"I'm fine. I just forgot about telling you I wouldn't get out of bed alone."

"I could tell that by the look on your face. You were remembering."

"Why am I naked?" Spencer looked down at his body. He was fairly certain that even if he had been wanting sex, there was no way Hotch would do it. There had to be a reason why he was naked as he never slept naked.

"You puked on yourself a few hours ago. I stripped you and cleaned you up."

Spencer was mortified that he'd puked like that and that Hotch had been the one to take care of him. He held out a hand and Hotch helped him stand up. He was dressed differently than he had been. Sweat pants and t-shirt. He's never felt so vulnerable in front of Hotch before. He crossed his arms across his chest and hunched in on himself. 

It was a bad idea as his stomach rolled and he pushed off Hotch to rush to the bathroom to throw up. His legs gave out as he reached the toilet and he crashed into it. He barely got his head over the bowl as he threw up nothing but stomach acid. Hotch was right there at his back, rubbing and just being calming. When his stomach stopped clenching, he leaned back and Hotch cradled him close. His hand never stopped trying to soothe him. No one had done this for him since he'd been four years old and had caught the flu. His mother had babied him the entire time that he'd been sick and his dad had been distant. 

"I found the number for the store around the corner and made up a list of things that I'm going to call and have them deliver when they open. I used your computer and did some research. Mainly I need to keep you hydrated."

"I know."

"Of course you do." It sounded like Hotch was smiling. The older man shifted enough to grab a rag on the counter and he handed it over. Spencer wiped at his face and then Hotch took it back and wiped at the back of his neck and upper shoulders. "I found some sleep clothes for you. Feel like trying to get into them?"

"Why are you here?" Spencer asked. He felt Hotch stiffen at the words but he needed to know. Right now his mind was clear and he just needed to know.

"Because it never should have gotten to this. Gideon wanted you to find your footing after Georgia and we all followed what he said but..." Hotch sighed and rested his head against the back of Spencer's head. "There is doing something because you need to and knowing that someone is there to help and catch you when you fall. You are stronger than this, Spencer but you needed to know that you weren't alone and we just left you to hang."

"Help me into the kitchen?" Spencer asked. He didn't know if he could take Hotch being so open. 

"In a minute. I know that you missed the plane on purpose. I also knew that confronting you about it wouldn't do any good at the time. Morgan told me about his talk with you. Spencer promise me that you will call me, no matter what if you ever feel like you are going to lapse."

Spencer wasn't sure he liked hearing his name from the older man's lips. He nodded his head. 

"Words, Reid." The tone was one that he was used to. It was the exact tone Hotch used when telling him what to do when they were having sex. It had the same effect. He felt his cock start to fill. 

"I promise. Can I have a minute to freshen up some?" Spencer looked Hotch in the face as he asked. He could see the wariness on the other man's face but after a few seconds he nodded and helped him stand before leaving. The door wasn't closed but Spencer didn't need it to be to brush his teeth. He felt like something had died in his mouth. 

A few minutes later, Spencer exited the bathroom with his robe wrapped around him. Hotch was sitting on the bed. Spencer's skin had started to crawl and he needed it to stop. There was a part of his brain that knew that sex with Hotch wouldn't make it go away but there was another part, a louder part that was telling him that it couldn't hurt and he wouldn't know unless he tried. Hotch's gaze was lost in the middle distance. 

It was perfect. The older man wasn't even paying him any attention. He didn't right up until Spencer was sitting in his lap the robe on the floor at their feet. There was no way that Hotch was missing that Spencer was hard. He thrust his cock into Hotch's stomach at the same time that he gripped his head to tilt it back for a kiss. Hotch was passive for several seconds and Spencer took it as consent. When the older man finally moved, Spencer moaned as hands gripped his arms and pulled them down. Hotch's mouth was active finally in the kissing and Spencer was getting lost in it. His hands were drawn behind his back and Spencer shifted to allow it. He didn't register something was wrong until he'd felt that only one hand was now gripping his wrists and it was really tight. 

Hotch's free hand gripped his hair, rougher than he had ever done it before and jerked. Spencer cried out in pain. He tried to get away but Hotch had him trapped. His breathing picked up and not in arousal. He was scared. It was fight or flight and there was no way that he was going to be able to fight. The safest room in the apartment was the bathroom. He needed to get to the bathroom and throw the lock. He just needed to get his feet under him. 

As if the older man read his mind, Hotch spread his legs and it strained Spencer's pushing them out to where he couldn't move. Hotch was silent. That scared him more than anything. Spencer breathed in and out for several long minutes as he tried to calm down. Hotch wouldn't hurt him. He was safe with Hotch. 

"I'm sorry," Spencer said when he thought he could talk without squeaking. 

Hotch said nothing though. His grip on his hands didn't lessen and neither did the one in his hair. Spencer's head was tipped up enough that he couldn't see Hotch at all. All he could see was the ceiling. It was a long while before he felt comfortable enough to try speaking again.

"Please, Hotch. Say something. Anything." Spencer felt the tears at his eyes. He didn't know why he'd done it. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. He gasped as his mind cleared and then he relaxed fully into the older man's hands. Hotch's grip on his hair was gone but the hand pushed his head down onto his superior's shoulder but his hands were not released. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"I know. I know." Hotch released his hands and then wrapped him in a hug. "I'm not mad. Let's try and get some water in you and then get you on the couch. Do you want help getting dressed?"

Spencer shook his head, wanting that few minutes of peace to get his shame under control. Hotch helped him stand and even picked up the robe and handed it to him before leaving. Spencer took his time getting dressed, not wanting to look Hotch in the eye. He knew what that part of his brain sounded like now and he wasn't going to be listening to it ever again. He didn’t need Hotch to think that he was a sex crazed idiot. 

The kitchen to most people would have looked normal but to Spencer he could tell that things had been moved. He knew that Hotch would look through his things. It didn't shock him.

Hotch must have noticed that he noticed because he spoke. "I didn't find any stashes but then again I am not you."

"It's fine. Addicts lie and no matter what I am, I'm an addict." Spencer had no trouble admitting it. He knew what he was but he also knew that if he stayed an addict, he'd lose everything else in his life and his want of those things was greater than his want of escape.

"You said last night that you wanted to forget." Hotch stepped closer to him and Spencer took a step back. He didn't remember saying that at all. "What are you trying to forget, Reid?"

Spencer turned to the cabinet to get a glass for water. He had several jugs on the counter as well as a few in the fridge. He grabbed one from the counter and filled up his glass, taking several sips before moving towards the living room. He wasn't ready for that. He just hoped that Hotch let it go. He needed Hotch to let it go.

XxXxXxX

It was after eleven and Spencer just wanted Hotch gone. His breathing was irritating him to no end. His hands were shaking enough that he couldn't hold a book and the noise from the TV had been driving him nuts so all he had to focus on was Hotch. And Hotch was driving him nuts. 

Hotch had taken over the kitchen table and had been working on case files all day long. Every time that Spencer got up, the files would be put up in his briefcase. It was infuriating. He wasn't allowed to do anything that would keep him occupied. 

Spencer had spent the past ten minutes trying to figure out a way to get him out of the apartment because then he'd be alone. He could sit and do nothing and not be bothered by the scratching of a pen, the rustle of paper and Hotch's annoying breathing. Hotch had chinks in his armor just as much as everyone else and Spencer knew at least a few of them. 

"Hotch, I'm doing a lot better now. Why don't you go home?" Spencer said as he stood up and moved towards the kitchen. Hotch predictably closed up the file he was working on and then put it up. 

"I talked to Haley an hour ago. She and Jack are doing fine." It was the same answer no matter what. The time of the call changed but the rest of it stayed the same. 

"And if I said that I didn't want you here right now? That I wanted you gone?"

There was the Hotchner glare. Spencer didn't let it scare him. He wanted to be alone. He didn't want to use, he just wanted to be alone. The food from the store had been delivered and Hotch had barely left him alone while he'd taken the delivery. He wasn't used to being around someone so much. 

"I'm not leaving until I know you are back to better." 

"It's too fucking little too fucking LATE!" Spencer yelled at him. The younger man watched Hotch's eyes widen in shock at the yelling and the cursing. "If you had fucking given a shit about me you and the team would have been here from day one. I wouldn't have had to have gone through any of this. You all spout off on this team being a family but you only fucking care about yourselves. Who went home with JJ when she got the the concussion and needed to be woken up? Who walked Clooney for Morgan when he sprained his ankle taking down that UnSub in Florida?"

"Reid." Hotch's voice cracked but Spencer didn't care. He had a full head of steam he wanted to get out everything. 

"No one but you has even talked to me about my mom since the Fisher King case. No one has even fucking asked. I put her in Bennington the day I turned eighteen. I fucking celebrated my eighteenth birthday by sitting in my bedroom at the house my mother no longer lived in, crying my eyes out because I had no one." 

"Spencer."

"No!" Spencer shoved at Hotch, pushing the older man back from him. He hadn't realized the man had gotten that close. "Just NO. Do you want to know the sin I confessed to in front of Raphael? I sent my mother away. If I had been a stronger son she never would have had to have been put in that place. I should have been stronger. I am no better than my father!"

"You are nothing like him."

"You don't know shit, Hotch so stop trying to make me feel better. I knew what putting her on that plane was going to do to her. She hates flying and I had two agents take her from her home and bring her to Quantico. I never warned her." Spencer wanted to smash something or even throw something at Hotch. There was nothing in reach and he wondered for a brief second if that was something Hotch had planned. 

"You were afraid for her safety."

"If I'd never sent her those letters, she would have never been in danger! It's all my fault!" Spencer couldn't dodge his hands this time. Hotch grabbed him and Spencer fought with all he had, which he knew wasn't a lot. His muscles were sore and he was tired. Kicking and struggling, Spencer still wasn't able to get away. Hotch spun him around to where he was holding him from behind. It wasn't until he felt his shirt getting wet that he realized he was crying. He let out a sob and just slumped in Hotch's arms, trusting the older man to protect him. 

"It's not your fault, Spencer." Hotch tucked him into his body as they both settled onto the floor. His face was pressed against Hotch's neck and he just let go, crying. "None of this is your fault. We all forgot how young you really are. We all forgot and we are so sorry."

"You...are the...only one....who's visited....me." Spencer said in between sobs. He wrapped his arms around Hotch's neck, molding his body to the older man's and just cried. He didn't care and Hotch wasn't pushing him away. In fact, Hotch was holding him close and as he cried himself to sleep, he swore he felt wetness on his forehead from Hotch's own tears.

_Day Three_  
Spencer woke when whatever he was sleeping on shifted. He freaked out and tried to get away but strong arms pulled him close and Hotch's voice was in his ear settling him down. His muscles were cramping badly and if they hadn't been he would have stayed where he was. He tried again to move but the arms stopped him. 

"Shush. You're safe, Spencer."

"It hurts," Spencer was able to gasp and Hotch's arms released him some to where he could stretch out. His muscles were worse than they had been at the peak of his withdrawal. His back and arms were killing him. Hotch's hand on his back settled him down, especially when it searched and found the sore muscles, kneading out the kinks and the cramps. He was almost asleep again when his stomach growled. That brought a chuckle out of Hotch.

"It's after midnight. I have some soup that I can warm up for you. How does that sound?" 

Spencer nodded because his throat hurt. He remembered the yelling he had done at Hotch and couldn't understand why the older man was still there. He'd made an ass of himself but he didn't want to bring it up. Instead he let Hotch help him up and get him settled at the table with a glass of what looked like Gatorade and a few crackers. Spencer ate the crackers and sipped at the Gatorade. He hadn't been able to keep anything down since withdrawals had started. Everything that went down came back up. 

Silence filled the apartment as Spencer sipped at soup. Then he saw the letter sitting on the table. He wondered if Hotch had looked at it. But he knew the answer, no. Hotch would never do that. So, Spencer scooted the letter closer. Hotch raised an eyebrow but picked it up. Spencer waited while he read it. 

"That's something that never even...he injected you with a needle that he was using." Hotch let the letter drop at the same time he rubbed at the brow of his nose. "Shit."

"I was going to show this to you Monday at work. Even though we haven't..." Spencer trailed off.

"I didn't even. I am your boss and I never even considered this. I...excuse me." Hotch stood up and left the kitchen, moving to the living room. He stopped in front of the window and just stood there. Spencer finished his soup and the glass of Gatorade before he moved to the living room to sit on the couch. With food in his belly and his muscles at least relaxed for the moment, Spencer settled onto the couch and watched him, not realizing when he fell asleep. 

XxXxXxX

Spencer was sick of throwing up. He woke up, jumping off the couch and running to the sink in the kitchen as it was closer than his bathroom. He easily expelled what was left in his stomach. A hand on his back told him that Hotch was there. The hand moved to his forehead and then it and it's partner were holding his hair back while he threw up again. When there wasn't even stomach acid left, the urge to throw up left and Spencer settled down into a chair. He wanted to go back to bed. 

"How did you get time off?"

"I requested a few days leave to spend with my wife and son. Strauss approved it. It's what Gideon and the team thinks as well. I also told them you had contacted me and called off with the flu."

"And Haley?" Spencer kind of remembered something about Haley knowing.

"She knows exactly where I am and if I allowed it, she'd be here as well. I know how you are though. She doesn't know about the drugs. If work calls the house, she's going to tell them I am shopping and to call my cell. I would have done this for anyone on the team. Anyone."

That was like a stab to the heart and Spencer didn't know why. 

"I told Haley you were having trouble with nightmares. David Rossi took me to a cabin in the woods after I was at the BAU for a few months. I screamed to the trees and I cried where no one could see me. Haley says that's when I turned. When I smiled less, became cold."

Spencer didn't know what to say to that one. He just settled in the living room with a book, letting the silence permeate everything. He finished several books and was happy that the cramps were mostly gone and the irritability. 

He went to bed at a normal time and only laid for a while before finally going to sleep. Hotch had settled on the couch, where he'd been the past nights.

_Day Four_  
For the first time in days, Spencer woke up and he knew where he was the second his eyes opened. He could hear Hotch moving around in the kitchen. He could smell coffee and possibly pancakes or even waffles. He wasn't sure but he smelled cooked batter of some sort. He wasn't drenched in sweat, vomit, or shit. He knew that he wasn't over it all yet. He had at least a few days before the tremors left his limbs and before he was back to full speed but he felt better than he had in a long time. 

Throwing the covers off, Spencer realized that again he was naked. There was a small pile of clothes sitting on the end of the bed though. He grabbed them as he stood up. He'd showered in the middle of the night after throwing up again. Hotch had stayed right outside the tub to make sure that he didn't fall. He hadn't realized he'd not put clothes back on.

The sound of someone else in the apartment was fast becoming something that he was very used to and he needed to stop that. He was grateful for everything that Hotch had done for him. He knew that he would have made it through it all alone but he hadn't had to. 

After he was dressed he stopped and leaned his head against his bedroom door. He felt as weak as a kitten. He wanted to ask Hotch to stay longer but that was asking for issues. He was already too used to him being here for as long as he had been. Asking him to stay longer would make it all that much harder for him to let the man leave. Once he'd eaten whatever the older man had fixed, he was going to make sure that he left. He was better now and could take care of himself. He needed to take care of himself. He didn't need to get used to Hotch in his life as anything other than his superior, team mate, and occasionally a man that fucked him. There was no relationship there. There couldn't be. 

No matter how much he craved it at that moment. To have someone there for him like Hotch was for Haley. Every single thing he'd felt over the past four days, he shoved down into a box inside his head and made sure that he'd never open it. It was the smart thing to do and the only thing that he could do to keep himself safe. 

So Spencer composed himself and then opened his bedroom door and moved towards Hotch, a bland smile on his face. He showed nothing of the turmoil that had been in his mind just moments before. 

Hotch must have seen something on his face because he started to pack up the case files on the table. He put them away and Spencer could just tell that he was preparing to leave. When Hotch moved the briefcase over to the door, the younger man finally saw the go bag sitting there. There was a plate of pancakes at his spot at the table and a set of dishware in the drainer from where Hotch had eaten. 

A nod of his head and then Hotch was gone and everything was back to normal. Like it needed to be.


	10. Interlude II-Phone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S2-Ashes and Dust

The message was waiting on his answering machine when he got home. Spencer saw the one flashing over and over again. He set down his bag and pressed the play button. 

“Spencer, it’s Haley. I was wondering if you wanted to meet up sometime and talk. Please call me back." 

Spencer smiled as he thought about it. He liked the last time that he and Haley had talked, even if she had pushed his boundaries a little on dealing with Jack. He'd never been comfortable around children. This last case had been hard on Hotch but not in a way that the older man needed him. No, he needed a nice quiet time at home with his wife and son. Picking up his house phone, he called Hotch's house. He knew that Hotch wasn't going to be there. He was visiting Abby's son. 

" _Hotchner Residence,_ " Haley answered. 

"Haley, it's Spencer."

" _Oh! Spencer. How are you?_ "

"Tired but okay. A good night's sleep will set me to rights. When did you want to meet up?"

" _Tonight works for me. I'll bring dinner with me. I'll set up a basket with picnic foods. Anything in particular that you don't like?_ "

"You don't have to do that. I can grab something on the way to meet you."

" _It's no trouble. I was going to take Jack to the park and have a picnic with him anyway. Packing up enough for you is no big issue. There is a park two blocks from the house._ "

"I know of it." Spencer brought up the mental map of the area around Hotch's house. He debated taking the subway but he was in the mood to drive his car. "I can be there in a half an hour."

"That sounds good. We'll be by the swings. Jack likes to watch the kids swing."

"Half an hour." Spencer hung up his phone and looked around his apartment. He smiled as he took in the neatness of it. He'd been keeping it cleaner since coming off the Dilaudid. Not that it hadn't been clean before but while he'd been on Dilaudid he'd let the place go to shit. Or at least his version of shit. He was happy with his apartment. He knew what the rest of the team said about him. He'd proved to Hotch that he wasn't a germaphobe. He'd heard Morgan mention that once but it was that he didn't like strange people touching him. 

Growing up, Spencer had really only been around his parents and other adults who didn't touch him. Other kids didn't like him so the touches that most children were used to didn't happen. It was why he didn't like to shake hands but he would if someone extended theirs first. He knew the social customs. He just usually didn't care for them. 

Grabbing his messenger bag from where he'd set it down as he'd entered, he grabbed his car keys from the bag as he shut and locked his door. The drive was quick and easy. He parked at the closest spot to the swings that he could find and just watched. 

Haley was sitting on a blanket with Jack in her arms. Spencer watched her. He knew that she and Hotch were having problems at home but he felt that maybe he could help with that. Hotch was so in love with Haley. Spencer had seen it the first time he'd met her. The look of utter love on his face. 

Leaving his bag in the car, Spencer stepped out. He had grabbed his sunglasses from the visor so that he wasn't blinded. He had been thankful he hadn't taken out his contacts. He knew the second that Haley saw him. She smiled at him and waved. She looked so happy to see him. That still bothered him. 

"Spencer, I forgot to ask. Is lemonade okay?" Haley motioned at her glass of the drink and then at the pitcher she had in the middle of the blanket. Spencer nodded. Was he supposed to sit across from her? or beside her? There was room enough for him in either spot. Thankfully, she patted the spot beside her and Spencer sat down. It put him in line of sight of the swings as well as the road that led into that area of the park. Was that something that Hotch did? Needed to see entrances and exits?

"Lemonade is fine. I drink pretty much anything."

"Not just coffee?" Haley teased and Spencer smiled ducking his head. 

"No. I do drink a lot of coffee. More than the average person does in a day. My mom says that's why I am so skinny."

"How are you doing?" Haley handed over Jack with barely a glance at him. Spencer took a hold of the the baby more for fear of her dropping him than anything else. Jack cooed at him as he settled the boy just like his mother had been holding him. Jack clapped his hands together and giggled. 

"Hotch said he told you that I was having trouble. What did he tell you?" Spencer kept his focus on Jack. That was better. Easier. 

"That you were going through a hard time after that case in Georgia. I didn't ask too much as I could see that asking about it upset Aaron. What happened?"

"I was taken, held, and beaten by an UnSub. The UnSub recorded and streamed the video to the team who had to watch. I was able to give enough clues to the team for them to find me. The UnSub made me pick someone to die. I did and it saved someone else. After that he made me pick someone on the team to die. I had to give a reason why I chose them and I chose Hotch. I gave a false reason but it's what led them to where I was. When Hotch and the team found me the UnSub had me digging my own grave. I ended up killing him to save myself."

"Oh. That. I'm sorry." Haley frowned at him but it was a sad frown. "He didn't go into a lot of detail. He said he wouldn't betray your trust like that so thank you for telling me."

Silence filled the air as Spencer didn't know what to say. He turned Jack around to face him and smiled at the little boy. With a hand on his back, Spencer held his own hand out in front of Jack as the little boy grabbed at his fingers. 

"He's probably getting hungry. I've prepared a bottle. Did you want to feed him?" Haley asked. She held out the bottle and Spencer took it. He was nervous, just like the first time but he understood what she was doing. She felt sorry for him and wanted him used to children. He didn't understand why she cared so much. He didn't plan to have children. Of course, he knew that could change if he found a woman that he loved. 

Still he settled Jack the way that Haley had settled him before and started to feed him. He knew that Jack's face would settle more as he grew up but it was easy to tell that Jack was Hotch's son. 

"The UnSub suffered from DID. Dissociative Identity Disorder. There was Tobias and his father Charles and the Archangel Raphael. Tobias escaped mentally from his father when he was younger by doing drugs. He injected me with Dilaudid to help me." Spencer stopped there. He wasn't going to say a thing about Hotch helping him. "It made me hallucinate the day my father left and some bits after. That's what I've been having trouble dealing with. Hotch helped a lot."

"Spencer, I am going to ask a question and I am only going to do it once. I only ask because I am worried about you. Aaron tells me little but I can read between the lines. I can see that you are doing better. Do you want to stop what you and Aaron are doing? Was it making it worse? Is it making it worse?"

"No. It's not making it worse. I don't know if it's helping but it's not making it worse. Hotch hasn't...not since Georgia." 

Haley smiled at him. "Aaron tells me every time."

Spencer wondered exactly what Hotch told her. The bag that he still hadn't looked through was in his closet. Did she know what was in there? Did Hotch just say he'd fucked him? Spencer wanted to ask but he wouldn't. Maybe the next time Hotch came over, if he came over again, he'd ask him. 

Jack greedily sucked his bottle and Haley smiled down at him, brushing her finger down his cheek. Spencer kept his gaze on the boy in his arms. He was afraid that if he looked away something would happen to him. The ringing of a phone drew Spencer's gaze drifted to Haley for a few seconds. Her face lit up and she looked so happy. It had to be Hotch. 

"Excuse me," Haley said as she stood up and moved a slight distance away. Spencer turned his gaze back to Jack. She greeted the person on the other end of the phone with the name Honey. But the next words out of her mouth shocked Spencer. "No, he's still out of town. Case related but not a case. He's supposed to be home in the afternoon tomorrow."

Spencer turned away from her more and tried to act like he couldn't hear her. He didn't want her to think that he was listening in even if he was.

"No. Tonight will be fine. Jessica will take Jack." A pause and then Haley laughed. The tone of the laugh was something Spencer had only ever heard from Hotch, when they were in foreplay. "I can't wait. Sounds like a lot of fun. All night? Sure."

Spencer wanted to believe that the call was nothing more than a friend hanging out with a friend but he knew it wasn't. Jack was kicking; it drew his attention from her to him and that's when he noticed the bottle was empty. 

Haley dropped back beside him with cell phone in hand. Spencer didn't know what to say so he said nothing. She started setting out the food and filled a plate with a sandwich and chips. Spencer started to eat the chips. 

"Have you talked to your mom lately?" Haley shifted so that the sun wasn't in her eyes and she faced him more.

"Yes. Last week. She called me while we were on a case but it was lunch time so Hotch let me take the call."

"They know?" Haley asked. Spencer nodded. "How?"

"Do you remember the case where the courier brought a file to your house?" 

"Yes." Haley sounded a little frightened.

Spencer looked back at Jack. "The UnSub had been in Bennington with my mom. During the case it became apparent that mom could be in danger. I had her brought here. I needed to talk to her and I was scared that the UnSub was going to come for her."

"What did the team say when they found out?"

"Nothing really. Hotch asks how she's going from time to time but no one else asks a thing." 

"Are they afraid it'll upset you?"

Spence shrugged. "Or they might just be afraid. I don't want to make them uncomfortable."

"Even Gideon doesn't ask about her? Nothing? Not even while you two are playing chess?"

"No. I kind of like it but it seems to be an elephant in the room whenever schizophrenia is brought up on a case."

Spencer hadn't realized he'd eaten all of his food as he and Haley had been talking. Jack started to fuss and Spencer tried to calm him down but the little guy was having none of it. Haley held out her hands so Spencer gladly gave over the now crying boy.

"He's tired. We probably better head home. Jessica, my sister, is coming over. Thank you Spencer for meeting me. I know it's been awhile. I meant to call you before now but..."

"If I'm home, Hotch is home and you want to spend time with him. I understand. You don't have to apologize." Spencer didn't know why she was so concerned with talking with him. Maybe it was something that she and Jake had done. 

"But I know that our arrangements give you pause and meeting with me calms you down. I'll try and at least call you on occasion."

"Okay." Spencer helped her pack up the rest of the food and then escorted her to her car. Haley kissed his cheek, making him blush.

"I see what Aaron sees in you. You are very sweet and one day you are going to make a great guy or gal very happy."

Spencer felt his cheeks heating up and he looked away. Haley laughed, patting his very hot cheek before dropping into the driver's seat of the car. He shut the car door and watched her drive away. He needed to think and he did that best over chess but he wasn't going to go to Gideon. Looking around, Spencer found what he was looking for: the chess area. There were a few people playing. A young Asian boy was playing against himself. Spencer watched him. It took ten minutes for the game to end.

"Want an opponent?" Spencer asked as he stepped up to the board. The kid looked up at him and smiled.

"Sure."

Spencer lost himself in playing while his mind thought about his conundrum. It wasn't until it got dark out that he noticed the passage of time. The kid said his goodbyes and Spencer told him he'd stop by from time to time to play. 

By the time Spencer got home his decision was made. He didn't know if Hotch knew Haley had a lover but unless Hotch said something to him, he'd keep quiet. It was better for himself in the long run.


	11. Distracted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S3-In Name and Blood

Spencer didn't remember driving home. He had Gideon's gun, badge, and letter. The items were sitting in front of him on his coffee table. He didn't know what to feel. Gideon had been as close to a father figure that he'd ever had. The letter was nowhere near enough of a goodbye from the man. 

Coward was never a word that he would have used to describe anyone in the BAU, much less Gideon. It was the only term he could use. He was just gone. Spencer knew from the letter what was going through Gideon's head but it didn't excuse him abandoning the team like he had. 

Spencer wasn't an idiot. He knew that Prentiss had her reasons for her putting in a transfer but there was a lot more to her departure and return than she or Hotch were saying. As to Hotch, Spencer was worried about him. He'd been suspended for two weeks over the end of the case in Flagstaff. There was even a lot going on at home for him. Spencer wondered if he shouldn't have not kept his suspicions to himself. 

The apartment was dead silent. The only noise came from outside so when the loud knock sounded, Spencer jumped in his seat and kicked the coffee table. A pile of books toppled over.

"Reid?" Hotch questioned through the door. Spencer jumped up and ran to the door. He flung it open. Hotch was looking him up and down but he saw his eyes. Had Gideon left him word? Hotch looked devastated. 

"You scared me and I knocked over a pile of books."

"Can I come in?" Hotch waved to the interior of the apartment. 

 

"Of course." Spencer stepped back to allow him in. Hotch moved right for the couch and he knew the second the older man saw the gun and badge. 

Hotch turned to look at him. "Reid?" 

"I went to the cabin. It was unlocked and I found the gun and badge sitting along with a letter. It was addressed to me." Spencer moved around to the other side of the couch and bent to grab the letter. He handed it off to Hotch and sat down. Tucking his knees up to his chest. Hotch read through the letter with a sigh, standing the entire time. 

"At least he left a letter."

"What do you mean?" Spencer looked at him in shock.

"I came home to an empty house. Haley took all of her things as well as some of Jack's. Left no note."

"Did you get a hold of her?" Spencer let his legs drop as Hotch finally took a seat on the couch, in the seat next to him. He wanted to reach out and touch but didn't know if Hotch would want it. He'd let the older man dictate what went on. Spencer didn't understand why the older man was here not trying to find Haley. Did Hotch want sex? Spencer looked at him, trying to find out. 

"Yes and no. I called her sister, Jessica. She's staying with her right now. Through Jessica I told Haley that she can come home. I will go stay at a hotel while we work through this."

Spencer looked away from Hotch. 

"I know you went to the park with Haley, Reid and since then you've had trouble meeting my eyes when we aren't on a case." Hotch reached out and forced his gaze back over to him. Lying to Hotch was hard to do when looking at him. He didn't want to. "While I was on suspension, someone called the house. I answered and they hung up. Then Haley's cell rang. She left just after."

Spencer tried to turn his head but Hotch's grip was too tight. He stared into Hotch's eyes and then gave in, relaxing.

"She got a call from someone and it didn't take long for me to figure out the person she was talking to was not you. Some of the things she said and her tone..." Spencer didn't want to say the words. 

"A lover."

"I didn't know if it was something you knew about or not but I didn't want to bring it up."

"It's okay, Reid. I wish she hadn't put you in that place no matter our relationship."

"I'm sorry." Spencer reached out but changed the direction from touching Hotch's face to grabbing his shoulder. He got a smile in return. Hotch's fingers were hot on his face.

"I came over because I didn't want to be alone but with Gideon..."

Spencer could see that Hotch needed something. He remembered back to their first time in the hotel room. Hotch had never followed through with the gag. "Do you have a gag in your bag of surprises?"

Hotch looked at him in surprise. His eyes were wider than Spencer had ever seen him as the words fully sunk in. The older man nodded.

"Let's go use that." Spencer stood up and held out his hand. His body was so aching to be used. He wanted to block the whole night out. It had been months since Hotch had fucked him and he wanted it. 

"Are you sure?" Hotch kept their eyes locked. 

"What kind of gag do you have?" Spencer pulled at him until they were at the bedroom door. When he opened the door he dropped Hotch's hand and moved to sit on the bed. Hotch walked to the closet and pulled the bag from the back corner. It was set on the floor between Spencer's spread legs and Hotch crouched in front of him. The first thing that was pulled out after the man opened it was the cuffs.

Spencer shifted on the bed, staring at the cuffs. He wasn't ready for that. He kept his mouth shut. He didn't want to ruin the moment if Hotch wasn't going to use them. Next came a rubber sleeve and Spencer almost took it from him but it was set down beside the cuffs quickly. It took a few seconds for Spencer to figure out what it was to be used for. That made him start to blush and start to get hard at the same time. He wasn't hard enough for his pants to tent but it wouldn't be long. Next came a satin bag. Hotch didn't set that down, instead he opened it and pulled out what looked like an emergency candle. 

"You seem pretty open and wax play is something I've wanted to try. If you say no, I'll take it home."

"You mean you dripping hot wax on my skin?" Spencer reached out and touched the candle. Hotch kept it steady and nodded. "I don't have an aversion to trying it."

Hotch laughed at his words and slipped the candle back into the bag. Next came out another bag but it was different. He could hear the plastic part crunch but the outside was satin. Hotch handed it over at the same time that he reached back into the bag. Spencer wasn't ready for what Hotch pulled out. It was a set of three anal plugs, still in the package. Each was a different size.

"You beat me to this but I doubt you bought more than one. We can play around with sizes."

Spencer could only nod. The smallest in the pack was the same size as the one he had bought. Next came out a clear rubber cock ring. When Hotch held it out, he took it. He set the empty bag down, figuring it was for the plugs when they finally got into the pack. He liked that Hotch hadn't opened the package before hand. The older man reached up and touched the ring and it started to vibrate. Spencer's eyes widened and he nearly dropped it.

"Hotch!" Spencer shoved the vibrating thing at him. "Is that for you or me?"

"Either. If you want to try it when I am not here, that is fine. Same with the sleeve." Hotch looked up at him and Spencer felt his blush deepening at the same time he got harder. There was no way that Hotch was missing that he was hard as a rock now. The other man was crouched at just the right angle to where Spencer couldn't tell if he was hard or not. "You look sexy with that blush going on."

Hotch pulled out a length of royal blue fabric next. Spencer ignored the sexy comment. "I don't like ball gags. Makes me think too much of a case that happened not long after I joined the BAU."

"So a cleave gag?" Spencer asked, reaching out and touching the fabric.

"We can try that. I actually prefer to knot the fabric and make a ball that way. We don't have to this time." 

"We can try it. I've never tried a gag before." Spencer let the fabric go.

"That's because before this you were pretty vanilla. So..." Hotch placed all the items except the fabric back into the bag and then looked back up at Spencer. "Non verbal safeword?"

"Oh!" Spencer looked at Hotch trying to figure out what he could use. The cuffs were slipped back into the bag so he knew he wasn't going to be bound this time but others he might be. He understood Hotch wanting to get the safety part done. He tried to think about the last time he'd been cuffed. Snapping would work. "Two snaps for stopping and one for something is wrong and needs fixed."

"Okay. I will make sure you can always snap yours fingers. Won't be hard. Before we strip and I gag you, is there anything we have done before that you don't want to do?" Hotch was keeping their eyes locked. Spencer knew his eyes told the truth even when he lied.

"What do you want to do?" Spencer wasn't sure that there was anything that he didn't want to not do."

Hotch laughed, lust in his voice. "I was going to gag you and play with you until you scream. Make you hold onto the headboard and stop if you let go."

"Like stop all the way?" Spencer asked. That didn't sound fun for him much less Hotch.

"No, just until you grab on again. I'm sure it won't take you long to learn what to do." Hotch reached out and pulled Spencer into a hard kiss. He heard the bag being shoved away then he was jerked off the bed into the older man's lap. "Get your touch fill now because it's going to be a while before you can."

Spencer moaned at the words and kissed Hotch again. He started unbuttoning the dress shirt and laughed when scratching his nails down Hotch's chest had him shivering. He could feel the older man moving but didn't know what he was doing until Hotch's head moved away. The fabric was being held up, the knot already in it. He'd been tying the knots.

Opening his mouth, Spencer waited. Hotch just stared for a minute and then raised the gag up to his mouth. The knot fit comfortably behind his teeth. Hotch pulled his own hand up and held the knot in place. The gag was tied tight and Spencer could feel the drool start. He liked that Hotch chose what seemed to be a pretty absorbent fabric. 

"Snap once if it becomes too tight or your jaw starts to hurt."

Spencer nodded.

"I don't want you to hurt your jaw, Reid because you think I need this. I'll be very upset." Hotch kept their gazes locked as Spencer nodded again. Before he could do anything else, Hotch was pulling his shirt off. He'd changed into a t-shirt when he'd gotten home and he was thankful. 

"So hard for me and willing." Hotch nipped at his chest and then a hand slipped to his crotch. Spencer moaned and the sound of it muffled had him twitching in the other man's hand. 

"Your mouth and words are your best weapon after your mind and right now you can't use any. Do you like that?" Hotch didn't wait for an answer. He looked downward to work open Spencer's pants. He hadn't been told he couldn't touch yet so he reached out to slip Hotch's shirt and jacket off. He was let go of long enough to sweep the fabric off arms and then he was pushed up to a standing position.

Hotch shifted to his knees and pulled Spencer's pants down. His boxers were next. His socks followed and then he was naked. One solid push and he let himself fall backwards onto the bed. He bounced and settled, pushing himself up the bed some. 

Spencer propped himself up on elbows so that he could watch Hotch strip. He could tell that Hotch had been running more. His leg muscles were more defined. Hotch's eyes never left his body as he stripped. Spencer wanted to reach out and touch himself at the small show he was getting. He was already leaking and ached so much. Shifting, he freed an arm to snake down. he looked at Hotch and saw that he was looking. Just as his hand hit hair, Hotch's voice rang out. 

"Hands on the headboard, Reid."

Spencer openly glared at Hotch but did as he asked. The unrepentant grin on Hotch's face told Spencer he saw the glare.

"So pretty." Hotch's words were soft but Spencer heard them. His eyes widened in surprise. Morgan called him 'Pretty Boy' and he knew it wasn't meant to be mean but hearing the word from Hotch's mouth set him on edge. Hotch knee walked up the bed and Spencer dropped his legs automatically. Hotch groaned. "I chose a wonderful color. The blue is so striking and when you blush it accents it."

If Spencer could have rebutted it, he would have. He wondered if that was why Hotch said it now. It was just Hotch's arousal talking. He wasn't pretty. Spencer looked away from Hotch, settling his gaze just up and to the left. The older man tilted his head up and placed a kissed at the base of his throat. Then he was moving down. The first lick on his nipple had him thrusting into Hotch's mouth.

"So very demanding as well." Teeth scraped over his skin and then a hand brushed his cock. 

Spencer uttered a please but it was unrecognizable as a word. 

"Oh, I like this." Hotch laughed as Spencer glared again. "That glare does nothing. You look like a kitten. I'm more scared of a kitten, I think."

Spencer felt a finger slip back between his cheeks and then it slid inside of him. He looked in shock at Hotch. He hadn't seen or heard him go for the lube. Something dropped onto his chest. It was a little one time use tube of lube. 

"I bought a few of them a while back and figured I could use them to surprise you." Hotch licked at a nipple by his mouth then moved down Spencer's chest. Licking and nipping as he moved. All Spencer could feel was the hot mouth and the metal bars his hands were wrapped around. The only sound was his own heaving breathing and muffled words. He closed his eyes so he could only focus on those two senses.

"Beautiful," Hotch whispered before he took Spencer in his mouth. He couldn't stop the thrust but Hotch did with hand on hip. One finger became two and before he could come, Hotch pulled off his cock. A third finger thrust inside of him. The burn was gone in seconds, all Spencer wanted was Hotch inside of him. He thrust down on the other man's fingers. 

Spencer pleaded to be fucked. Saying words he never would have said before. Begging for Hotch's cock. The gag muffled every single one but Hotch got the meaning and pulled his fingers free. With eyes closed tight, Spencer prepared to be breached but nothing came. 

Hotch reached up and untangled his fingers from metal, easily flipping them. Spencer grabbed the top of the headboard to settle himself and Hotch leered at him. "Ride me."

The image those two words created in his mind nearly had Spencer coming. Hotch took the eyes closing for hesitance though and leaned up, cupping his face.

"Are you okay?" Spencer nodded. "How is the gag?" Spencer cocked an eyebrow at that. Hotch let out a chuckle. "Does it need to come off?" Spencer shook his head. He waved between the two of them and then tapped his head. "Imaging what we look like?" Spencer nodded harder that time and moaned. He leaned over to grab a condom from the drawer and when Hotch saw what he pulled out, he stopped him.

"Are you grabbing that because you want an easy clean up tonight?"

Spencer didn't answer. 

"Reid." Hotch's tone made Spencer look at him. "You've been tested and knowing you, you've gone back for more tests. You are clean."

Spencer slipped off Hotch and leaned down to grab the other man's phone from his pants pocket. He didn't want to take the gag off but he needed to talk. He unlocked the phone using Hotch's code which earned him a raised eyebrow. He shrugged as he typed out his question. When he was done he turned the phone for Hotch to read.

"'Do you use condoms with Haley?' No. She's on birth control and ..." Hotch's eyes widened and he looked at Spencer with a deer in the headlights look. "I have a doctor's appointment next week. Regular check up. I'll get tested them. I'm glad you are thinking with your brain. Do you want to skip? I can jerk us off."

The glare came back out. Hotch laughed and leaned back. Spencer opened the wrapper, slid the condom on Hotch's thankfully still hard cock, then looked around for the lube. It had been on his chest before Hotch had flipped them. He didn't see it on the bed. The older man held it out. Spencer squirted some onto his hand and transferred it to the condom. 

Hotch helped steady him as he straddled him again then leaned back to guide his cock to his hole. Spencer felt the head breach him and then he slowly slid down, letting go with his hand as he did. He took his time, feeling his muscles stretch and finally just give in to the cock. Hotch hissed and gripped his hips, hard, holding him still as he fully impaled himself. 

"Fuck! You are tight. Let me just feel you for a moment." Hotch gripped his hips even harder and then after a moment, pushed him up a few inches and then pulled him down. It was erotic as hell to Spencer to be gagged but be on top of Hotch while they fucked.

Hotch helped him find a rhythm that felt good to the both of them and Spencer could feel the burn in his thighs. He pushed it away though, concentrating on fucking himself on Hotch for as long as he could. 

Breathing picking up, Spencer knew that Hotch was getting close. He wanted to see his stoic superior come apart under him so he moved faster. When Hotch tried to take his cock in hand, he batted it away. Two more thrusts and Hotch was coming. His hands tightened almost too hard on his hips as the other man pulled Spencer as close as he could, burying himself as far in as he could possible go at their angle.

Spencer wanted to smile but his gag stopped him. Instead he gripped his own cock and started to try and get himself off. Hotch lay panting under him. He was close when his hand was pulled away and a hand squeezed the base of his cock. Spencer groaned. 

"As much fun as coming all over me might sound. I have an idea I like a lot more." Hotch sat up lifted Spencer off his now soft cock, removing and tying off the condom. Then he was toppled backward onto the bed. Then there was a hot mouth on his cock and Spencer near screamed.

Legs dropping open the rest of the way, Spencer grabbed at Hotch's hair and held on. Hotch wasn't holding back. One hand cupped and rolled his balls while the other played with his hole before a finger slid in him. It was too much with Hotch rubbing at his prostate. Spencer came, screaming Hotch's name into his gag. 

Hotch pulled him up into his lap, setting his head on his shoulder to work on untying the gag. "Are you okay?" Hotch asked. Spencer nodded. He didn't have the brain for much more. "I need words."

Spencer tried to gather moisture in his mouth but couldn't. Hotch realized and leaned away before bringing back the bottle of water Spencer kept on his nightstand. He drank over half the bottle before offering it to Hotch. The older man took a few sips then kept it in hand and tilted it up for Spencer to finish off. Spencer eyed Hotch but drank. 

"I'm fine, Hotch." Spencer pulled back to look him in the eye. 

"Put chapstick on tonight, especially at the corners of your mouth. And you are loud, even with the gag."

"Well it felt like you were trying to suck my brain out through my cock." Spencer closed his mouth at his words. He hadn't meant to say that. Thankfully, Hotch just laughed. Spencer let his snark out with Morgan and sometimes JJ but no one else. He wasn't sure how Hotch would take it.

"Have you always had a mouth like that?"

"Yes." Spencer nodded. 

"Hmm. So is the gag a yes, no, or still an unsure?"

"Yes. You seem to like me not talking. I liked it as well. You didn't play as much as you seemed to want."

"The sight of you on the bed with the gag was a little too much. I knew if I played too long, I'd come and I didn't want that."

"Hmm."

"I'm going over to see Haley as soon as she will see me. She's never said a thing about this being a problem but I will offer to stop seeing you if she wants."

"Of course, I understand." Spencer didn't tell him that he wasn't the issue but his devotion to the job and the team as a whole was. Hotch knew that. He hadn't even lasted a full case out of the unit. If he had left, Haley may have liked having him home but he would have become a vastly different man. "Will she keep Jack from you?"

"I don't know. I want to say no but...I never thought she'd do this. Leaving me or having an affair." Hotch squeezed him and pushed at him until he settled on the bed. The older man stood and moved to the bathroom. Spencer stayed where he was. He'd learn enough about Hotch to know this was a time where he wanted to care for Spencer a little. Clean him up and make sure he was fine. He flopped onto his back and picked up the fabric. He looked at it. It was a scarf. Unknotting it, Spencer listened to Hotch clean himself up. He didn't know what to do for him, as a sex partner or a coworker. He decided to play it all by ear. And be a distraction if needed.


	12. Melted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S3-About Face

Spencer was at his kitchen table with a new physics text book in front of him when the knock came at his door. He looked at the clock. It was seven p.m.. He wondered what his neighbor wanted. Setting down his coffee cup, he moved to the door. He looked out and was shocked to see Hotch there.

Spencer's hands fumbled at the chain lock and then opened the door. "Hotch?"

A bag of Chinese food was raised up and Spencer stepped back to allow him in.

"Dinner?" Hotch asked. 

"I haven't eaten yet. I was reading." 

"Oh? What?" Hotch took a few steps inside and used his free hand to shut the door. 

"The new physics textbook Cal-Tech is using for one of their advanced classes. One of my professors sent it over. I haven't figured out why yet." Spencer was also a little shocked that Hotch was there. 

"Really?" Hotch looked in towards the kitchen. Spencer knew he was looking at the book. It was four inches thick.

"I just started reading it. I'm sure it'll become apparent. We can eat at the table or on the couch."

"Couch is fine. I grabbed you a fork and duck sauce for your egg rolls."

"I have coffee, milk, and two cans of Coke."

"Coke is fine," Hotch said as he sat on the couch and started separating the food. Spencer grabbed both cans of the pop as well as his coffee and two plates. He wasn't going to ask why Hotch was there with food. Hotch would tell him when he wanted. Instead he sat down, passing over the Coke and a plate. Hotch handed him a wax bag with the egg rolls and the duck sauce. Spencer smiled. Gideon had always been the one to get Hotch's egg roll. Now when the team ate out, he got it. 

"What did you get?"

"General Tso's, Beef and Broccoli, and Steamed Vegetables."

"Take the mushrooms." Spencer put in his mind set that the rest of the team was there. He was out of his depth with this. Hotch laughed and started to pick out the mushrooms he could find before passing over the box. Spencer took about a third of the vegetables. When Hotch passed over the General Tso's he took half. Of the beef and broccoli, he took half the broccoli and a few carrots but most of the sauce which he poured over the rice Hotch had dumped on his plate. This was normal. They both started eating. 

"Haley and I met up for coffee after we got back from Dallas. She wants a divorce. I talked her into giving us more time. She's moved back into the house again. I don't know if she's there much."

"Have you anyone else you can talk to?"

"I told Morgan we are having issues. Dave figured out we are separated."

"Ah." Spencer wasn't sure Rossi liked him at all.

"It's going to take time for him to warm up to you, Reid. He's not used to agents like you being field agents. He also isn't used to working in a team. He'll come around."

Spencer just shrugged and started to eat Hotch's egg roll. His was long gone.

"I made the offer to Haley about not seeing you anymore in a sexual way and maybe seeing about therapy again but she told me no. She said that me having sex with you wasn't the issue. She told me it actually helped my home mentality. I asked her about a lover and she neither confirmed nor denied." Hotch reached into his jacket pocket and handed over a piece of paper.

Spencer took the paper, balancing his plate on his knee and opened it. It was test results. Hotch had even tested himself for HIV. "You didn't have to show me this. I would have believed you. I only showed you mine because of what I was dealing with at the time."

"I know. I wanted to show you. Haley didn't...I told her I didn't care just that I needed to get tested and she should have told me because she knows I don't use a condom every time we have anal sex and we never do with blow jobs. I could have made you sick. I could have hurt you. I make a big production of making sure you were always careful if you ever had sex with someone else and I made sure she knew that and she couldn't even extend the same."

"So you are or aren't upset she is having an affair?" Spencer wasn't sure what was bothering him more.

"I'm having sex outside of our marriage bed, Reid." Hotch looked at him with the Hotchner glare but for once Spencer didn't back down. 

"Yes, but the difference is consent. She consented and you didn't. How many rape victims do we counsel that consent can't be given afterward?"

"It's not the same."

Spencer set his plate of food down on the coffee table and turned a little towards Hotch. "It is. She broke your trust. You love her with all that you are. I can tell you would have told her the affair was allowed if the rules were the same for her as they are for you."

Hotch stayed silent as he finished eating. Spencer kept the silence as well as he started eating again. When he was done, he shoved his plate away on the coffee table. He leaned back on the couch to watch Hotch. He didn't know what the other man needed. Was he just an outlet because he knew everything? If there was someone else out there he could talk to would he rather be there?

"I've always meant to ask. You have no hair on your chest and back. Is that natural or did you have it removed?" 

Spencer allowed the change for now. "It's natural. I'm sure you've noticed that I don't have a lot of leg or arm hair either. Mom joked it's to make up for liking my hair long." Spencer shrugged. He knew why hair growth was different but it wasn't time for a ramble. Hotch had a lot of arm hair. Everyone was different. "Look, I just want to say one more thing then I'll drop it."

"Okay." Hotch didn't look up at him. His eyes were trained across the room.

"Consent is big with you. You don't take my nonverbal cues or headshakes as consent. You make me speak. You asked me before you gagged me if there was anything we'd done before that was off the table. I had given consent before but it wasn't enough. I like that. That's what your main issue with Haley is right now. Consent and I'm not profiling you."

Hotch looked at him. Spencer wasn't sure he appreciated what he said but he wasn't going to take it back. He said what he needed and what Hotch needed to hear. In the aftermath of Hankel and all that followed he was slowly finding himself. A large part of that was Hotch and his influence as his superior and as a lover. He didn't like the term fuck buddies and friends with benefits was wrong sounding.

"I don't think you ever profile any of us on purpose, Reid."

"What do you mean?" Spencer really wasn't sure what he meant. 

Hotch chuckled darkly and finally turned to face him. Spencer shifted to face his entire body the same direction.

"I don't know if you know what's in your Bureau file but while it lists your mother's address it gives no reason. I am sure it's in a digital file somewhere but for safety, not the one I have and Gideon had access to."

"It lists where my dad is?" Spencer almost wanted to know but he didn't ask. The team had an idea of what happened with his father but he'd never confirmed a thing except with Prentiss but no one knew when.

"Yes. You walk into a room and can't help but look. Everyone not on the team sees it as curiosity. I saw it that way up until I met your mother in the round table room. Gideon and I told the team to back off talking about her but we figured you'd come to us. Not see it as we didn't care. You look at a room looking for anything that would set off your mother. You look to see what she can use as a weapon to defend herself. You can't turn it off. You don't use what you see on us and you 'forget' what you see until it's needed. You keep more of our secrets than you do your own."

"I..." Spencer looked away, not liking how frank Hotch was being with him.

"Strauss was worried about being in the unit, worried you wore your emotions on your sleeve but you don't. You want people to think you do. That's how you fooled your schools isn't it?"

"Fooled?" Spencer looked back at him with sharp eyes. Hotch was getting close to truths he wasn't ready to talk about with anyone.

"I know you and your mother were alone for a while. You don't have to say anything. As soon as I saw you and her interact, I knew and I knew you were a lot stronger than you appear." 

Spencer really didn't like where the topic had gone. He wanted to stop talking and get to sex or for Hotch to leave so he could get back to his text book. 

"You pick tonight," Hotch said suddenly and forcefully.

"Pick?" Spencer's head spun at the topic change. Pick what?

"You pick what we do. Where, how, with what..."

Spencer swallowed. That was not where he thought that was going to go. Hotch's gaze burned into the side of his head. He knew what intrigued him most. He'd looked up wax play and had bought a cheap vinyl shower curtain just for it. He'd put it in a drawer he'd emptied just for things they used. 

"I see you are thinking of something."

Spencer looked at Hotch and followed his gaze. There was no mistaking that he was getting hard with the way he was sitting. Looking back up, he could see the lust in the other man's eyes. That was heady.

Spreading his legs, Spencer leaned back and smiled at Hotch. Hotch took it as the permission it was and shifted in between his spread legs. He propped himself up above Spencer using the arm of the couch that he had his head on to hold him up. 

"What do you want to be fucked on the couch?"

"No. I want to be on my bed, on my stomach when you slide inside of me. I want you to hold me down and fuck me." Spencer paused as Hotch groaned at his words and shifted to a kneeling position above him. The older man started to unbutton Spencer's shirt. "But first I want to feel what hot wax feels like as it's dripped on my body."

"Do you have a blanket that you don't mind getting a little ruined?" Hotch asked as he started to work on his own shirt.

"I bought a vinyl shower curtain and I have a sheet that is already stained." Spencer reached up and started working at Hotch's belt and undoing his pants. As soon as he had them open, he snaked his hand inside to grasp Hotch's cock. "Is this for me?"

"Fuck, Reid." Hotch moaned and licked at his lips but he moved up when Spencer pulled at his thighs. The couch was just big enough for Hotch to straddle his shoulders and still keep his knees and legs on the furniture. He licked at the head of the cock that was now in front of him. 

"Missed this." Spencer then took as much of the cock in his mouth as he could and then sucked. Hotch grabbed at the back of the couch, staring down at him. Spencer worked at his cock trying his hardest to get him to come quickly. When the older man tried to pull away, Spencer grabbed his belt ends and held him in place. Hotch came and Spencer swallowed every bit he gave before licking him clean. He let his superior pull away when he was sure he had every drop. 

"Now you can play and not have to worry too much."

"Did you do research on dirty talk?" Hotch asked as he pushed himself off the couch, stripping off the rest of his clothes. 

"Went to the library and read some books."

Hotch's eyebrow rose at the word some. Spencer laughed.

"Most of what the older librarian there calls smut books. I took that and added what you've said to me before and figured out what I thought you would like." 

Hotch laughed at that. It was a full bodied, shoulder shaking laugh. Spencer was confused. He didn't think that anything of what he said was funny, especially not that funny.

"I'm sorry, Reid. I'm not..." Hotch tried to get himself under control. "Only you can take learning how to talk dirty and make it sound like a science experiment. I was just a little shocked. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"Oh. You didn't hurt my feelings. I was just a little confused. I look at everything like that." 

"I forget about your science background," Hotch said as a way of explanation.

Spencer shrugged. He hadn't moved off the couch. His shirt was undone but for a first, Hotch was fully naked while he wasn't. The other man looked just as intimidating as he did in a suit though.

"So where do you want to try this?"

"Bedroom. We can spread the curtain down and then the sheet." 

"Okay. I'll do that. Do you want to prep yourself? I'd rather it be done before any wax is introduced just to be safe."

"I can do that...Do you want me to clean one of the plugs?"

"We can use the one you bought." Hotch reached out and helped pull him up off the couch. He pulled Spencer close as he stripped his shirt off. A spin and Hotch had his back pressed against his chest. His teeth grazed his now naked shoulder and Spencer shivered. He knew exactly what he was seeing. The faint scar. "I saw this the other day."

"The scar? I know it's there."

"For a few seconds, I was upset but then I just got hard. Which was bad because we were in the locker room of that station after we got caught in the downpour." Hotch's hand worked open his pants and Spencer tried to help but ended up just holding his hands out of the way as his clothes were shoved down. The heat pressed against his back felt wonderful and then teeth were back at his neck, harder this time. Spencer arched up into the mouth, wanting to really feel it. A little more pressure and the faint scar wouldn't be as faint anymore. Hotch bit down harder at the same time he took Spencer's cock in hand. "Get in there and get prepped but I'm going to put the plug in you. Better go before I decide to just fuck you out here."

"You can." Spencer moaned at the finger that slid between his cheeks and teased his hole. "You can bend me over the couch and take me."

"No. Not tonight. I want to see you writhing and gasping." Hotch let him go and stepped back. Spencer didn't hold in the whine. "Go."

Spencer pulled his feet free from his pooled pants and underwear. He took a few seconds to use his new rug to get his socks off before he took off for his bedroom. The plug was in the drawer in the bathroom with a bottle of lube and a new box of condoms. He went right for the bathroom leaving the door open. The lube was waterbased and it was what he had used the first time he'd used his plug. He could hear Hotch in the bedroom. 

"Top drawer in the dresser to the left." Spencer called out as he spread lube on his fingers. Sliding the first on inside himself, he sighed. He switched to two easily and by the time he was ready for three, he felt Hotch behind him. The older man pulled his hand free and grabbed the hand towel to clean his fingers. 

"Hands on the counter and ass out." Hotch grabbed the lube from the counter and snapped it open. Spencer did as he asked and spread his legs more, looking up into the mirror. Hotch lubed his fingers and then the plug before setting it back down in easy reach. "Ready?"

"Yes."

Hotch slid in two fingers and Spencer fought to not thrust down on them. Anatomically, there was no difference between his fingers and Hotch's but the feel of it being someone else's had his cock getting even harder. Fingers pulled out and then three were thrust in. Hotch's clean hand snaked up his chest to grip the base of jaw. His head was tilted up to where his eyes were locked with the other man's in the mirror. He stared into hard eyes as he was prepped. The hand on his jaw stayed but the other hand slid from him and Spencer could just track it in the mirror. The plug was picked up. Hotch hadn't even brushed his prostate while prepping him. He was still hard and he knew that it wouldn't take much at the moment to get him off. 

The pressure of the plug had Spencer closing his eyes. A subtle squeeze on his throat had them snapping open again. 

"Eyes on me." Hotch's voice was low and it rumbled his chest. Spencer could feel it in his own. He wanted it to be Hotch's cock that was slowly forcing it's way inside of him. Sometime he'd talk Hotch into fucking him in front of the mirror just like this. Eyes locked, Hotch forcing him to look as he was fucked. "That's it." Hotch's breath was hot on his neck. "Take it all," he said as the plug slid fully inside of Spencer. 

"Hotch!" Spencer cried out. He was so close that if Hotch played much with him, he was going to come. The plug was pushed in just a little farther and then out. 

"What?" Hotch dropped his hand from jaw to Spencer's cock. Two pumps and a single thrust of the plug and he was coming all over his counter. "That's it. Now we are even."

When Spencer got his breath back, he glared at Hotch again. 

"And there is the kitten glare." Hotch pulled him into a fully standing position. "Go stretch out on the bed on your back. I'll wipe this up and be right in."

Spencer nodded and did as he was asked. The nightstand had been emptied and the candle was lit on it. Spencer laid down on the side of the bed closest to the candle, leaving enough room for Hotch to straddle him. He closed his eyes to get his breathing under control. This was a time when he wished he felt secure enough to allow Hotch to blindfold him. Just the thought of it sent terror through his body. Opening his eyes he saw the older man at the bedside. He had the candle in hand and was dripping a drop onto his own inner arm. He hissed and Spencer swallowed. That was hotter than it had any right to be.

"Hold out your arm." Spencer did and Hotch tilted the candle to let a drop fall on the bend of his elbow. Spencer reacted very little. It was then that he realized Hotch had dropped it right on one of his faded track marks. A second drop fell just a half an inch over and he felt his pulse jump. He nodded.

"It's fine. It actually felt cooler than the ones I played with when I was younger."

Hotch set down the candle and straddled Spencer in a quick movement. "Safe word?"

"Quantico." Spencer knew that Hotch was reassuring himself. There was no way Spencer forgot what the word was and he knew that Hotch hadn't either. This was the first time anything truly painful had been added to their sex. 

"Saying it doesn't mean we will stop. We just won't do this." Hotch waved at the candle and waited for Spencer to nod again. When Spencer relaxed fully onto the bed, the other man reached for the candle. 

"I'm going to close my eyes at least at first." Spencer waited for Hotch to nod before he closed his eyes. 

The first drop surprised him more than anything else. It landed on his left shoulder. The second was on his right. The next was centered between his nipples and it had him hissing. He fisted the sheets and when another drop landed, he moaned. Hotch's free right hand grabbed at his and lifted it up to settle on his thigh. Spencer opened his eyes to look at him.

"Hotch?"

"Other one too." Hotch transferred the candle and lifted his hand up. Spencer settled both in a more natural position on his thighs and when the next next drop fell, he gripped tight on the flesh under his hands. The man above smiled at that. "Close your eyes."

Spencer did as he was bade. He wasn't expecting to feel a hand trace his skin. Inhaling he waited. The first drop of wax was peeled off his skin. He exhaled. He didn't know what was coming until a new drop landed low on his belly. He gripped the flesh even harder and thrust up. He could feel his reawakened cock brush against Hotch's ass but it wasn't enough. Still he moaned.

Letting go with his left hand, he tried to casually brush the back of his hand over Hotch's cock but his hand was caught. 

"Ah. Ah. That's a bad boy. Hand on my thigh."

Spencer did was he was told and squeezed his eyes shut. Hotch proceeded to peel the wax off his chest and stomach. He wasn't sure which he liked more. The spike of pain/pleasure from the heat of the wax or the pain from Hotch's short nails followed by the feeling of pleasure of the wax being peeled. The sensation of not knowing what was coming was more heady than anything else. He wasn't able to get to the same headspace though as when he was gagged. Because he knew he could open his eyes and see. All the control was in his hands. Of course, it was always all in his hands but being gagged gave him the illusion it wasn't. 

"Reid?" Hotch's voice was strong enough that Spencer snapped his eyes open and looked. Hotch looked worried. There were several new drops of now cooling wax on his stomach and he hadn't felt them. 

"I..." Spencer swallowed. Hotch set the candle down and just stared. "Can I roll over?"

"Sure." Hotch quickly peeled the wax off his chest and stomach and Spencer rolled as soon as the man lifted up to allow him. He felt the older man settle farther down this time, just below his ass. Spencer propped his head on his clasped hands and breathed. This was better. 

The first drop was again on his shoulder then lower and lower it went. There was no rhyme or reason to where the drops fell. Not being able to see but have his eyes open had him excited. He could feel Hotch's erection brush his crack as the man moved. His own was trapped between him and the bed. Every time he thrust down onto the bed, the plug would shift. 

When a drop landed on the top of the swell of his ass he jerked and Hotch had to use his ass cheek to keep himself up. The pleasure of that drop out weighed any of the others. The thud of the candle on the nightstand drew his gaze over to it.

"So pretty," Hotch said as he peeled wax strip after wax strip off. He could see the marks on his skin in his mind's eye. When the man licked and then bit at a spot, Spencer thrust his cock onto the bed. "I'm not done so don't come until I am inside you."

"Yes," Spencer breathed. The plug was pushed farther inside him again. He never should have brought up the plug. He knew he could come just from it and so did Hotch. 

Spencer couldn't hold back the groan of pleasure when a seemingly hotter drop landed at the top of the crack of his ass. He wasn't prepared for the line of wax that fell onto his ass and ran down towards his legs. It felt so good. Hotch went back to drops of wax and then another line on his other cheek. The spike of pain/pleasure was too much, Spencer was too close to coming.

"If you don't fuck me now, I'm going to come before you get in me," Spencer warned. A quick exhalation and then the smell of burn filled the air. The candle had been blown out. Hands traveled over his skin, quickly removing all the wax and the pain of the scratch was exhilarating. A damp rag traveled over his skin, cleaning him up even more. The plug was jerked out of him and then hard cock was filling him before he could even think.

"I almost don't want to use the other plugs. You are so tight with this one." Hotch shifted as he thrust and laid down over him, uncurling his arms and holding him down. Just like he wanted. The next thrust inside of him had him coming. He gasped and bucked, spilling all over his bed. Hotch groaned and his hips stuttered in their thrust but he didn't come. 

"Come on, Hotch. Fuck me." Spencer didn't think he'd get hard again but the feel of the cock thrusting in and out of him was too good. Instead of continuing that though, Hotch pulled out. Spencer whined. 

"I will. Ass up." Hotch followed words with a not so light smack to his ass. Spencer jerked and he felt his cock twitch. As soon as he was on his knees, Hotch slid back inside of him. The feel of the cock in him was wonderful. As soon as he felt the hand on his chest, he was pretty sure he knew what Hotch wanted so he was ready for the pull up. Shifting on his knees, he let that hand pull him to a kneeling position. He sighed as Hotch banded his arm across his chest and held him in place.

"You are so fucking perfect for this. Willing to try anything and God do you take my cock so well." Hotch gripped his rapidly hardening cock and started pumping in time with his thrusts. Spencer looped a hand behind the other man's head for leverage and closed his eyes. He was going to come again and he knew it. "I can't hold on much longer. Please tell me you are close."

Spencer didn't verbally answer. Instead he tilted his head to the side. Hotch knew what he wanted and bit down, thrusting as hard as he could. The bite tipped Spencer over and he screamed as his cock was milked. Hotch bit down even harder and he saw stars. One final thrust and Hotch came inside of him. They toppled over and Spencer didn't think he could move. Hotch was still inside of him and he was fine with that. He felt more than heard Hotch groan.

"I don't want to get up," Hotch said in Spencer's long hair. Spencer laughed. "So wax?"

"Every great once in a while."

"Okay. I need to get up and go back to my apartment." 

Spencer started for a second and remembered that Hotch had said he'd found an apartment he liked. "Shower here if you want. I'm just going to pass out. Lock the door when you leave."

"Are you serious?" Hotch asked.

"Yes," Spencer said with a yawn. He pillowed his head on his arm and started to let himself fall asleep. He didn't care about the large wet spot he was sleeping on or the release in his ass. He just wanted sleep. 

When he woke up the next morning, he remembered a dream about Hotch cleaning him up and tucking him in. When he saw the curtain and sheet on the floor beside the bed and felt boxers on his body he knew it wasn't a dream. He was just surprised that he mostly slept through it. Still he showered and got ready for the day, excited to go to work.


	13. Served

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S3-Birthright

Spencer had been staring at the dark sky for an hour. The celebration of drinks hadn't been something that attracted him at the moment. He'd been shocked though when Hotch had still agreed to go out with the team. The air was cold as it blew around him. He'd decided he wanted to be outside but didn't want to actually go anywhere so he'd slipped out onto his fire escape and was watching the sky. 

The sound of a car stopping drew his gaze down to see a cab parked in front of the building. He looked as the driver turned back and took money from whoever was in the back. The driver tried to hand back some money but the door opened and the passenger got out. Spencer knew exactly who the man was even though most of him was blocked by the steps of the fire escape. 

Hotch was there. Dropping the blanket wrapped around him, Spencer stood up and watched as Hotch moved towards the front of the building. There was something off about the way that he walked. Worried his superior was injured, Spencer ducked back inside as quick as he could, barely remembering to grab the blanket and lock the window after he shut it. He fumbled with the locks on the door for a nearly a minute before he finally got the door open. He walked at a fast clip over to the stairs to find Hotch already halfway up. He moved fast. It wasn't until Hotch looked up at him that Spencer figured out what was wrong. He was drunk.

Moving down to meet him, Spencer tried to slip next to him to help him walk but instead he found himself pushed into the wall of the stairs and Hotch was kissing him. He didn't know what to do. Neither of them had ever touched a drop of alcohol before encounters. Hotch hadn't touched him while in withdrawal. If he shoved Hotch back, he could fall but he knew that the older man was too drunk to consent to anything. He needed to get the man off the stairs and into his apartment. 

Turning his head away, Spencer spoke. "Let's go into my apartment so that my neighbors don't get a show." It took another two minutes for Hotch to stop kissing, biting, and licking at his neck. He led the older man up the stairs, letting his hands wander all over his body. He didn't want to get into something in the middle of the hall in his apartment building. He'd never been around a drunk Hotch. As far as he knew he never drank that much. He knew the allusions he'd made over the years that his father might just have been a drunk. It was another thing that the team ignored when on cases. 

Spencer knew he needed to find a way to diffuse this and quickly. As soon as the door shut, Spencer was shoved into it rougher than Hotch had ever done before. His head bounced with a crack that the man didn't register. He took the gasp of pain to be a gasp of pleasure and shoved his tongue inside Spencer's mouth. He shoved with all he had and Hotch landed in a heap on the floor. There was no anger in his gaze, just confusion. When Spencer reached back to rub at the small knot on his head, Hotch's eyes turned soft.

"Fuck, Reid. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Hotch you are drunk. Whatever you think is happening tonight, isn't."

"What do you mean?"

"You are drunk." Spencer paused as Hotch stood up. "You can't consent. I'm not doing a single thing with you while you are like this. You are more than welcome to stay the night but we are not going to be fucking, in any form."

Hotch just stared at him but Spencer didn't look away. He wasn't going to back down on this. He respected himself and Hotch too much to even think about letting the man fuck him. He was way too drunk to give consent. Crossing his arms, Spencer waited.

"I'll agree that I have had a little too much alcohol." Hotch's words were careful and clipped like he was trying to not seem drunk. "I'm sure in the morning, I'll be thankful for you caring enough to worry that I am drunk."

"Hotch...," Spencer said as Hotch stalked towards him. He dodged fingers but went the wrong way. He was close to the bedroom and that meant walls. Even drunk, Hotch knew what he was doing. Spencer was trapped in the hallway. 

"How about this? I could go to my hotel and find some porn channel to watch and take care of this." Hotch unzipped his pants and pulled out his hard cock. Spencer only glanced down at it, afraid that if he did more, Hotch could blitz him. "Or, you can jack off for me."

Spencer raised an eyebrow as Hotch stood there, fully dressed stroking his cock that he'd pulled out through the hole in his boxers. "Jack off...you want me to masturbate in front of you?"

"Yes. I'll be good and won't touch, except my own cock."

"You want to watch me jerk off while jerking yourself off?" Spencer couldn't wrap his head around why Hotch wanted that. Then again, he didn't find porn all that stimulating. But the thought of Hotch masturbating in front of him did have him excited. He wasn't sure about Hotch watching him do it. 

"Yes."

Spencer turned and moved towards his bedroom, hoping that Hotch would follow him. He grabbed the chair in the corner that he usually laid clothes on while packing his go bags. He set it at the foot of his bed, just far enough back that even his own long legs couldn't reach the bed. Hotch appeared in the doorway, his pants still undone and his cock bobbing as he walked. He grabbed Hotch's hand and directed him to the chair. He was nervous as hell but he could do it and he knew it. 

"If you get out of this chair, I'll lock myself in the bathroom and you can just use your mind to get yourself off. Do you promise me?" Spencer shoved Hotch down into the chair as he said it. 

"I promise, Reid. I won't get up off the chair." Hotch's eyes were dazed from arousal and drink but Spencer knew that he'd try his hardest to keep his word. 

Spencer started to strip his clothes off. Not even trying to make it into a show. He wasn't that comfortable with what he was doing. He pulled a sheet out of the closet and doubled it over at the foot of the bed. He was up for doing whatever he had to not have to change his bedding. He knew that Hotch liked to look at him so when he spread the sheet over the bed, he bent at the waist, displaying his ass. 

"Fuck," Hotch said. Spencer peeked at him and smiled when he saw Hotch had started to stroke his cock again. He watched him for a minute before going to the bathroom. He washed his hands and grabbed the new lube from in there. Morgan had found coffee scented lube and had slipped it in his messenger bag. It had been meant as a joke but Spencer had found it a little funny, using it with Hotch. As a last minute thing he grabbed the plug from the drawer and took it into the bedroom with him. 

If it wasn't for the subtle stroking of a finger up and down the inch at the base of his cock, Spencer would have thought that Hotch fell asleep. The man's eyes were closed and his head tilted back. Spencer slid the plug under his pillow and laid the lube down on the bed. The creak of the bed as he sat down was what drew Hotch's gaze from the ceiling to him. He spread his legs and smiled. He wasn't fully hard yet but it wouldn't take much. 

"What do you want to see?" Spencer asked. 

Hotch swallowed. "Just whatever you do when you masturbate. If I want to see something else, I'll tell you."

"Sure." Spencer grabbed and opened the lube, spreading a small amount on his fingers to transfer over to his cock. The smell of sweet coffee drifted up to his nose and he inhaled harder. Hotch's eyes were glued to where his hand was stroking up and down his rapidly hardening cock. He watched for the reaction to when the smell of the lube hit Hotch's nose. Lust blown eyes drifted up to his. "Morgan bought it for me as a joke. Not sure how he'd feel about me using it with you."

"Scandalized."

Spencer laughed as he spread his legs more and leaned back on the bed to give Hotch a better view of him. He closed his eyes and forgot about the man in front of him and tracked back to the last time he'd masturbated. It had been a week before. He'd woken up early for work with a hard cock and knew that he'd have to take care of it so he'd thrown his blankets off himself and had used spit to stroke his cock. When it wasn't enough, he'd tried lube but it still hadn't been enough to get himself off. So he'd fingered himself. Spencer stopped his stroking and grabbed the lube again. He spread the gel like substance over his fingers and laid back all the way, canting his hips so that he could get to his hole. 

The sound of Hotch jerking himself off barely registered on his mind. He couldn't even hear his own words and moans. All he knew was the pleasure. The feel of the fingers as they breached his hole. The feel of his own hand on his cock. It was heaven and hell at the same time. It felt so wonderful but he wanted to feel Hotch's hands on him. In him. When he slid three fingers inside of himself he let go of his cock and reached up to grab the plug. He pulled the fingers free and shifted to his knees, keeping the plug hidden by his hand. Hotch would think he was fingering himself more and he did but he also slid the plug inside himself before he started stroking his cock again. He was on his knees, balanced on the end of the bed. 

Opening his eyes, he looked at Hotch who was staring at him. He shifted again to where his feet were on the floor. The bed pressed the plug even farther into him and he moaned, loudly. He leaned back on the bed and then drew his legs up to where Hotch could see the plug. He stroked his cock faster with the hand he'd used to open himself up, the fresh lube was welcome as he was near his own orgasm. He grabbed the base of the plug and pushed it inside of himself and then tugged on it some. 

Spencer heard Hotch's groan as he came and then came himself. He pulled the plug from his now over sensitive hole so it wouldn't brush against his prostate anymore. Hotch was looking at him with a weird look on his face as he stood up. Spencer used the sheet to wipe most of his release up before he tossed it at Hotch. The man caught it and wiped his own hand on it before brushing it over his softening cock. Spencer moved towards the bathroom for a proper washup. He left the door to the room open as he stepped inside his shower. 

It didn't take long for him to wash off his ass and groin. He dried off and stepped into the bedroom to find Hotch had laid down on the bed and had fallen asleep. Spencer grabbed a hold of his feet, stripping off his shoes before he emptied keys from the man's pockets. He covered the older man before he grabbed his clothes to sleep in, wandering into the living room as he dressed. He made sure the door was locked and laid down on the couch. He waited for his body to start relax into sleep. He'd fallen asleep on his couch plenty of times but this time was different. There was a person in his bed. 

Someone he'd just jerked off for. Something he'd never done. Something he'd never thought of doing. This arrangement with Hotch was changing him in ways that he never thought he’d change in. He was also worried a little about Hotch. Haley serving him the papers with no warning like that spoke to how she was acting about it all. Spencer liked her as a person but as Hotch's wife, she seemed to be lacking. His last thought was that Hotch deserved someone who could be everything that he needed, not a soon to be ex-wife who couldn't accept him as he was.


	14. Interlude III-Shocked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (S3-Limelight)

Spencer rolled his shoulders again. He knew what the issue was and he was a little upset at Hotch about it. The team had been given the morning off after getting in late after a case the night before. He'd been looking forward to a lazy morning but instead he'd been woken up to the sound of a knock on his door. Thinking it was a neighbor, Spencer had jerked the door open with a scowl on his face. Finding Hotch there, dressed for work had thrown him. The man had ignored his scowl. 

Hotch had wanted a quickie. Hence the sore shoulder as he'd been bitten hard enough for it to bleed a little. It was his left shoulder so it didn't effect his work or his shooting but he was sore. The car trip hadn't helped. Nor had spending most of yesterday, after arriving, hunched over files. 

"You've been rolling that shoulder all day," Rossi said from the doorway to the bathroom. Given that this wasn't a normal case, he and Rossi had to share a room. He didn't mind. They hadn't shared before now. The night before had been fine. He wasn't sure about tonight. It made sense for them to just keep the same room once the rest of the team had arrived.

"Just a kink." Spencer didn't look up from the file in his hand. His word choice didn't dawn on him until after it had already left his mouth. He was happy his back was to the profiler. He could feel his cheeks heating up.

"Does Hotch know you brought files back? He said he wanted us to rest." 

The paternal tone was irritating to Spencer so he didn't even give that response. Of course, Hotch didn't know he had taken several of the files with him. He'd slipped them in his bag when no one had been around. He'd work until he couldn't keep his eyes open, pass out, and wake to drink at least a pot of coffee on his own. He rolled his shoulder again but this time he felt the skin move weird. He shrugged it off and put his eyes back on the crime scene photo and the report on the opposite page. There was something bothering him about the case. It had been since the start. 

"You are bleeding."

Spencer turned his head towards his shoulder and saw that he was in fact bleeding. He must have ripped the scabs rolling his shoulder that last time. He was in a faded cream colored shirt or it wouldn't have shown up. "It'll stop in a few moments."

"You should probably put a bandage on it and we've barely been here a day. How did you hurt it already?"

"I hit it on a cabinet door yesterday morning." Spencer kept his head down so that Rossi couldn't catch him in the lie. He didn't know if the older man knew his tells or not. He wasn't keen on finding out, not like that. "And I'll be fine."

"Is that why you are tossing and turning? Your shoulder?" 

"No. Ever since I saw the first crime scene photo there is something off and I just can't place it. It's bothering me. That's why I am tossing and turning. I just can't see it."

"Walk me through it," Rossi said as he sat down beside him on the bed.

Spencer did. He walked him through the scene. It didn't help. He dropped the file to the floor and laid his head in his hands. Rossi kept the silence for ten minutes before he stood up from the bed and moved to the shower. As soon as the shower started up, Spencer moved to his go bag and grabbed astringent and a bandage. He used a tissue to spread the liquid on the wound. He wasn't worried about keeping it clean. He had antibacterial stuff he'd put on it in the morning, right now he was worried about bleeding and the witch hazel would work wonderful for that. Getting the blood clear of the wound though had him thinking about what had caused it.

Tests done proved that it wasn't the biting itself that Spencer liked. It was when Hotch did it. It was a claim, proof He'd bit himself while jerking off in the shower six months before and it did nothing. An UnSub had bit him two months after that and nothing. He'd ended up at the hospital to get his shots updated but that was it. He felt himself start to get hard and nixed those thoughts quickly.

"I never took Aaron for a biter."

"What?" Spencer spun to look at the other agent. Rossi was standing in the bathroom door his eyes fixed on Spencer's shoulder, dressed in his sleep pants and a t-shirt. "What are you talking about?"

"I never met Jake but I had heard Aaron talk to him a time or two before I left the FBI. I also knew of the arrangement that Aaron had with him. I thought that I was just seeing things when I came back but I'm not." Rossi's eyes were fixed right on his shoulder. Spencer didn't say a thing just continued to wipe at the wound until the blood stopped flowing and he was able to bandage it up. He turned towards the bed, throwing the tissues away and picking the file in the same movement. "That's not going to work on me, kid."

"What?" Spencer asked turning to look at him. He hoped the agent would just drop it but the look on his face told him that he wasn't going to.

"I've been warned about how you can just float away and ignore what's going on around you. Sometimes it's thinking and others it's to get away from conversations you'd rather not participate in." Rossi moved to stand in front of him. He took the file from you. "You and I are going to talk."

"This is not a conversation that you and I need to have, Agent Rossi." Spencer tried to stand up but Rossi shoved him back down. He was a little shocked at the act, it was out of the realm of what he'd thought the man would do. He stared him in the face. Rossi's eyes softened and Spencer was shocked.

"It is a conversation that you and I need to have. Like I said, I knew of Jake and in passing, Aaron had said that Jake wasn't around anymore. I thought that it might be part of why Haley left but then I saw a scratch on his upper back one day when he was changing for bed on a case. I know what sex scratches look like. It wasn't hard to figure out that he'd found someone new. I brought up Jake to him after the case and he said that he had found someone new and that he'd be seeing him later that night. He even sent off a text and then that's when _your_ phone went off. I was floored but pushed it away. There was no way that Aaron would be with a team member like that and as much as this is going to sound horrible, someone like you."

"Someone like me?" Spencer asked. He pushed up off the bed. He wasn't going to allow Rossi to intimidate him. He moved to the desk and leaned against it, forcing Rossi to turn to face him. 

"Jason and I talked from time to time when I was retired and you were a pretty big topic to him. He thought you were lost when it came to love and was worried that you'd give away your heart to the first person who showed any attention to you that way and you'd fall hard and fast for the first person you had sex with." Rossi at least looked chagrined to be saying the words.

"I had sex for the first time with both genders not long after I turned eighteen. I've never equated sex with love. Hell, I pretty much hadn't thought much about sex other than jerking off after I'd had it. I seem like the romantic type, probably because of the fact that I love reading. It's a preconceived notion that no amount of words from me is going to change. I know what the team thinks about me when it comes to that. I don't feel the need to correct them nor do I think that I can." Spencer knew that he was being blunt but he knew Rossi enough to know that unless he knew it all was above board he wasn't going to let it go and Spencer didn't want him bothering Hotch with it. He had enough on his plate with the team and his impending divorce. 

Rossi stared at him. His mouth opened two times and closed before he sighed and rubbed a hand down his face. "So exactly how did..." A hand was up in the air and it waved between Spencer and the bed. 

"You'll go to Hotch won't you?" 

"I know that the divorce is..."

Spencer couldn't help the laugh. "I don't talk about my sex life because even though I call this team my family, they don't need to know who I fuck. If you promise not to go to Hotch with this until he's settled, I'll answer any question that I deem fine. As to whether this is all a reaction to Haley, it's not. Hotch propositioned me on my first case on the team."

That shocked Rossi. His mouth actually fell open and Spencer could tell he was lost. Spencer moved to the mini fridge and grabbed a bottle of bourbon and poured it into a cup. He handed it over to the man who took a sip. 

"And no one on this entire team thinks anything?"

"Why would they?" Spencer cocked his head to the side, looking at Rossi. "He treats me the same as he treats the rest of the team. It's sex. Not love or a relationship. I don't stare at him moony eyed."

Rossi just stared at him. Spencer let him look. He wasn't in love with Hotch and Hotch was in love with Haley. Spencer had gone into the situation with eyes wide open. It was laid out upfront and wanting more than that was stupid and Spencer wasn't stupid. Sex was sex. Hotch wanted it. Spencer wanted it. Neither wanted strings. Before now Hotch couldn't have strings on it. The only real strings were that they knew each other outside the sex. It made it easier. He knew Hotch well and didn't have to guess, most of the time. 

"You know, I thought you were an open book."

Spencer shrugged. "I know that Hotch talks to you but for at least right now. Please don't talk to him about this. He has enough worry on his plate. I don't know what he's told you as we don't discuss that and I am not betraying his confidence."

"I promise Reid. I think that your arrangement with Aaron benefits the both of you." Rossi pointed at him with his glass and smiled. "You are not the person that I was expecting. The intelligence yes but the way you've started to carry yourself." Rossi smiled and then sighed. "I'm only going to bring this up once. He didn't force you? Threaten your job?"

"Hotch would never!"

"He doesn't hurt you?" 

"No more than I want." Spencer watched as the older man processed that information.

"He told me that Haley couldn't handle roughness at all. That even the thought of him leaving a mark would send her away from him. I can see that the bite mark there, it's not the first time he's bit you there."

"He really wasn't expecting a case and he's not bit me that hard in a long while. Don't worry, Rossi. If Hotch ever did something I didn't want, I think it would hurt him more than me once he realized it."

"I'm shocked he doesn't try and room with you more."

"Why?" Spencer asked.

Rossi just looked at him a little dumbfounded. "You've never on cases?"

"Just that first one. It's always been at my apartment. And we've never slept in the same bed. It's sex, Rossi. Not a relationship."

The older man said nothing, just turned towards his bed and laid down. Spencer kind of figured that he'd overloaded him. He found that he was actually tired. Putting up the files and dropping onto the bed. Spencer wondered how the others on the team hadn't picked up on any of it. That thought carried him to sleep.


	15. Freaked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S3-Damaged

Spencer was sitting at his kitchen table, reading over articles in a new research publication when Hotch's knock came at the door. They'd gotten back from the Hardwicke interview and Hotch had been silent. Much too silent. It had started not long after the older man had made the comment about what he wanted and the fact that he wasn't going to get it. 

For a short time, Spencer had thought that the man maybe meant it was Haley but thinking about it in the time between getting back and coming home, he didn't think that was the case. It had been at the back of his mind the entire time and he hadn't figured out a thing at all. Spencer had been fairly certain that he wouldn't hear from Hotch until they were due back at work. Spencer closed up his things and stacked them in a neat pile on the desk in the corner. He picked up his mug on the way to the door. He was still in his work clothes but he saw when he opened the door that Hotch had changed out of his suit into a t-shirt and jeans. The jeans looked like he’d had them since he’d been in college. It was a good look on him.

“Interesting evening?” Hotch asked as Spencer stepped back to allow him in.

“Relaxing evening,” Spencer countered. He shut the door when his superior was fully inside. He leaned back against the door, just watching the older man.

“I signed the papers. Technically, I’m now a divorced man. I had the paperwork sent over. I turned in a few favors. It’ll be filed tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry, Hotch.” Spencer reached out and clasped the shoulder closest to him.

“What was the thing with all of you before Dave talked to Lynch earlier?” Hotch asked as he moved into the kitchen. Spencer watched him move until he was going for the cabinet that held the single bottle of liquor in the apartment. He filled a glass with a single finger and drank it all in one go and then poured another before putting the liquor up. He turned to face Spencer, leaning back onto the counter.

“I don’t know. I could never get it out of Prentiss or Morgan. I...there was something about Garcia and Kevin and a tree.” Spencer shook his head with confusion written all over his face. Hotch had been taking a sip of the drink in his hand but he inhaled quickly and started to cough. Spencer was across the room, taking the drink from his hand. Hotch coughed a few times.

“Were they sitting in a tree?” Hotch asked, his voice rough from trying to inhale the liquor.

“Yes!” Spencer nearly yelled. He looked at Hotch hoping the man would explain.

“It’s a playground song sung by children. Sometimes as a taunt but it’s also been known to be sung by those who are skipping rope. It’s meant to be shameful between boys and girls in the age where those of the opposite sex have cooties. In this case, it would have been Garcia and Lynch sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage.”

“Oh!” Spencer nodded and then it really hit him. “OH! Then why did Kevin want to talk to Rossi?”

“Dave showed up at Garcia’s apartment and Garcia had just gotten out of the shower. He was asking about a case and you know Dave. He couldn’t let it go so the timing was horrible. I am sure that Lynch thinks that Dave is someone he needs to act all man like and push away from his girl. It’s kind of cute. Dave laughed when he stopped by my office after Lynch left.” Hotch grabbed Spencer’s belt loops and pulled him close. “I’m not exactly in the best mood but I didn’t want to be alone and I just feel the urge to fuck someone into a mattress. Say no and I leave.”

“Yes.”

Hotch pulled him even closer and claimed his mouth in a feral kiss. Spencer let go of the glass heard it crash to the floor but he didn’t care. He hadn’t taken his shoes off yet. There was something different about Hotch. “Fight me.”

“Hotch?” Spencer pulled his head back and stepped back as well. There was no way that he heard him right. He took a few more steps back but Hotch's hand darted out and pulled him closer using his shirt. He was fairly certain that Hotch wasn't drunk.

"I don't want you passive. I don't want you submissive. I want your marks on my body as much as I put my marks on yours." Two hands were on his shirt and he jerked them apart, ripping Spencer's button up open. Spencer smiled at the other man before he ducked down and stumbled backward. Hotch was left holding his shirt. He'd undone the buttons at the wrists when he'd gotten home. That put a feral smile on Hotch's face and Spencer laughed before to took off towards the couch. He was around the front and at the far side before Hotch even started to move. He had several options of where to go. He was shocked though when Hotch grabbed the broom and swept the broken glass into the far corner. Spencer debated if he could make it to the bedroom before he realized it. Laughing in his head, he took off. He took his eyes off the older man to focus on the bedroom door and that was his mistake he knew it as soon as he heard the broom clatter to the floor.

Spencer took a second to turn his head to look and was happy because he was able to spin to where his back collided with the wall when Hotch tackled him into it. Hands grabbed his and pinned them to his side as he was kissed. He kissed back, nipping at Hotch's lip and drawing the flesh of the bottom one into his mouth. He tried to think of all the things that Hotch did to him that he liked as well as things from his research he'd done. He lifted his leg, letting his thigh brush in between Hotch's legs. His pants drug up along Hotch's jeans and the older man moaned. His hands were let go of and the hands instead settled on his hips, thrusting their groins together.

"Brace yourself," Spencer whispered. Hotch looked at him confused but Spencer ignored it and used his right leg to take out both of Hotch's dropping him on his ass. Instead of going for the bedroom, Spencer took off back towards the couch. As soon as he got to the far side, he turned and started to toe off his shoes. He tossed them under the table he had his chess set on. He watched as Hotch toed off his as well.

"That was tricky, Reid." Hotch was smiling. "But now you are trapped."

"I'm not as trapped as you think." Spencer kept his smile to himself. He waited for Hotch to make a move. If Hotch wanted a chase, a chase he would give him. Spencer could feel his pulse in his throat. He could be whatever distraction Hotch needed. The older man darted to the left and Spencer waited until he'd rounded the couch before he took off around the right side. Hotch laughed. Spencer slid a little with just his socks on and Hotch darted right around the couch to try and grab him while he was off kilter. Spencer though jumped over the couch. That stopped Hotch right in his tracks. He looked in shock at Spencer.

"You couldn't clear the training at the academy but you can jump over your couch."

"Before I joined the academy the only evasion I had training at was getting away from bullies in high school. I just couldn't get that mindset into my head at the academy. And while I know that if you catch me, I'm not going to get hurt and I'm not scared, I don't want to be caught so with my blood pumping I find that I can find that mindset."

Hotch smiled and waited while Spencer took his socks off. As as the socks were tossed where his shoes were though, Hotch was off. This time Spencer wasn't quick enough and Hotch's arm made it around his stomach. The older man used his own momentum to carry them onto the couch. Spencer landed on his stomach with Hotch on top of him.

"Caught you."

"Can you keep me?" Spencer asked, smiling into the couch cushion. Hotch shifted and then Spencer felt teeth at his shoulder. Burying his face into the cushion more, Spencer moaned loudly. A hand snaked under him and worked on undoing his belt and pants. The teeth made sure he stayed still as did the hand that landed in his hair.

The teeth loosened slightly. "I'll keep you as long as I want to keep you." Hotch lifted up slightly and his pants and underwear were pulled down enough for the man to get at his ass. He expected it to stop there but no, Hotch pulled them all the way down to his feet. Then they were off his body. He was now naked and the grip on his hair stopped him from moving. Weight settled on his body along the side and the next thing he felt was a finger at his ass cheeks. Spencer tried to spread his legs but there wasn't enough room.

Smiling into the couch, Spencer waited. He could feel Hotch’s hardness pressing into him and he waited more. A hand on his leg helped push and he followed the movement. He canted his leg to where Hotch could get at him. Pushing up on his arms, Spencer tried to fight away from him but the older man just dropped his whole upper body onto his.

“I told you I’ll keep you as long as I want to keep you. Fighting isn’t going to help you.” Then there was fingers at his hole. He hadn’t heard the snap of a cap so when he felt cool slickness at his entrance he figured Hotch had used another of the single use tubes. Hotch started out with two fingers and as soon as the slight burn was gone, Spencer thrust back on the fingers as much as possible. “You want me in you, don’t you?”

Spencer didn’t answer, just waited until he was stretched with three fingers and no burn was left. He shifted, getting his legs under him. Hotch shifted as well, moving like he was going to try and fuck him but Spencer tumbled over the back of the couch with ease and was heading towards the kitchen.

“Fuck. Reid!” Hotch scrambled to right himself where Spencer moving had knocked him off the couch. Spencer’s laugh wafted through the apartment and Hotch’s eyes were fiery. He watched Hotch strip and it was so reminiscent of the scene with Hardwicke that Spencer was frozen on the spot. He stripped his upper body first, tossing the clothes over the back of one of the chairs at the chess board. Next his jeans pockets were emptied then the jeans were taken off and draped over the chair as well.

Hotch was naked but he still looked as intimidating as he looked in his full suit. He said he wanted a fight. He was more than willing to play docile enough to get prepped, just to be safe. Hotch said he wanted to fuck someone into a mattress. He had feeling once he was fully caught, there wasn’t going to be a lot of foreplay then.

“Over here, now.” Hotch pointed at the floor in front of him and Spencer only shook his head. Eyes narrowed and Spencer prepared to run. He had plenty of options. He could make it to the bedroom and shut the door, he could go towards the front door, or he could move farther into the kitchen. “Reid.”

“Make me.”

The chuckle that escaped Hotch’s mouth was dark. He took a step towards Spencer but he waited. He wanted to see what he would do. Another step and Spencer still stayed where he was. A few more steps and he’d have to make a decision or risk getting trapped where he was. Hotch wasn’t looking at his face, he was looking at his groin so Spencer took advantage and took off towards the front door.

Spencer realized his mistake as soon as Hotch grabbed his arm, spinning him into the back of the couch. Held still by a hand on the small of his back and legs on either side of his, he knew he was trapped. Hotch hadn’t been looking at his cock, he’d been looking at his hips to tell him which way he was going to go. His own lust addled brain had caught up to reality a few seconds too late. The little packet of lube was at his right and Hotch grabbed it squeezing some out. It was only seconds later and he felt pressure at his hole. He tried to wiggle free but he was truly trapped. The only way out was full fighting and Spencer wouldn’t do that.

The head breached him and instead of pausing, Hotch just kept pushing in. “Fuck.” He felt thighs press against him. He was so close already. The blood rushing from the chase and the lust he could feel coming off of his superior had Spencer so close he could taste it. A quick pace was set up and Spencer reached around to grip a hip, pulling Hotch in harder against him. His nails scraped over skin and he heard the hiss of pain and let go. The hand on his back moved to grab his hand and put it back. He gripped even tighter. Hotch shifted his grip from Spencer’s hip to hold his shoulder to pull him back in even harder. Spencer braced his free hand down between the cushions to get a good grip and just let go mentally. He could feel the skin under his fingers, knowing he was bruising and probably making the man bleed.

All too soon, Spencer felt himself coming all over the couch and he lost his grip on Hotch. He was fucked through his orgasm and he felt high.

Hotch pulling out of him jerked his thoughts free. He was pulled up and he let himself be led to the bedroom. It was like his ears weren’t hearing. He was high on his orgasm and it felt wonderful. A question was asked and he nodded before speaking. Hotch wanted verbal, Spencer knew that.

Shoved back onto the bed, Spencer bounced on his back, looking up at Hotch with half closed eyes. When Hotch moved to the closet, Spencer closed his eyes. He tried to remember what Hotch had asked him, he couldn’t. The bed dipped and his hands were jerked above his head. He gripped the metal of his headboard and waited. He felt something on his wrist and then a click as the cuff closed on his wrist. He snapped his eyes open and all he could see was darkness. The second cuff clicked and all he could hear was the clink of the cuffs on the chair. He knew exactly where he was and he had to get away.

Jerking on the cuffs, Spencer tried to break free. He didn’t want to be there. If he could just break the cuffs, he could get away. Jerking again, he felt the padding shift and then it was metal digging into his wrists. He could smell the burning fish and gagged. A hand on his shoulder and he bucked to get away from the man who had him. His vision cleared as the voice talking to him cut through the fog, it was calm and steady and Spencer felt his heart rate dropping as the voice spoke more and more. There was a word he needed to say. What was it? He tried to remember. It was a name that was part of who he was. He'd chosen it because he'd never ever forget it.

Inhaling, Spencer let the word fall from his lips. “Quantico.”

The body above him moved and he felt the first cuff fall away. The second was gone just seconds later. Spencer scrambled away and into the bathroom, throwing up as soon as his head cleared the toilet. He felt a hand on his shoulder and tried not to freak out, it was Hotch not them. The hand lifted and then he felt his hair being pulled back. He didn’t want Hotch to hold his hair. Another hand swept up the rest of the hair and then he felt it being pulled through a hair tie. He always kept one on the counter, for times like this.

“Can you hear me, Reid?”

Spencer threw up again but nodded. Hotch’s hand settled on his upper back. The man stayed there until he finally stopped throwing up. When he slumped down to lean against the tub, Hotch settled down in front of him on his haunches.

“Where’s your first aid kit?” Hotch’s eyes weren’t on his face. Spencer looked down to where he was looking. The skin around his left wrist was rubbed kind of raw. It was red and angry. But his right wrist was ripped to shreds. It was the one where he’d felt the padding shift. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He waved his not as damaged hand towards the small closet. Hotch moved towards the closet, opening it and looking inside. He settled, still naked on his ass on the floor. He pulled Spencer’s barely damaged wrist into his lap and cleaned it before spreading his antibacterial cream on it and wrapping it lightly in gauze.

Spencer had his more damaged wrist tucked up to his chest. When Hotch tried to pull it free, he fought it.

“Spencer, please.” Hotch’s eyes sought out his and Spencer saw pain there. He let the man take a hold of his wrist. “Witch hazel? Do you not have peroxide?”

“Witch hazel helps stop bleeding by constricting the blood vessels. I can clean it.”

“No.” Hotch shook his head as well and used gauze soaked in the witch hazel to clean the drying blood of his wrist. Removing the blood made his wrist look worse. It was going to bruise so much. He watched as Hotch smeared the cream all over, coating it much more than he had the other wrist before wrapping the roll of gauze around his wrist tighter than he had the other. Spencer could only stare. Hotch would want to talk. He didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry,” Spencer whispered.

“I’m sorry, too.”

“You didn’t do anything!” Spencer said, finally looking up into the other man’s face. Hotch though wasn’t looking at his face. He was looking at his right wrist. He lifted it and placed a light kiss on the gauze. “Hotch, you didn’t do anything. I wasn’t aware I was going to freak out.”

“I knew something was different as I shoved you into the bedroom. You didn’t even hear me ask to handcuff you did you?”

“No.” Spencer wasn’t going to lie. “I didn’t think though that I would react like that. I promise. I was hesitant for a while after Georgia but I’d thought I’d be fine or I would have said something. It was the sound more than anything. The click of the cuffs locking into place. The metal on metal.”

“Do you think you can stand? You can’t get your bandages wet so I’m going to clean you up. We can talk more after we get dressed.”

Spencer stood on slightly shaky legs and tamped down the weird feeling of Hotch cleaning him. He’d never been awake like this when Hotch had taken care of him like that. He felt like a child. Thankfully, Hotch let him dress himself in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Hotch left the bedroom and came back dressed in his boxers. Spencer kind of ignored him and moved to the bed. He was afraid for a second that the cuffs would be hanging there.

“I put them in the living room in my pocket. Where are a set of spare pillows and blankets?”

“Hotch?” Spencer turned to look at him.

“I am staying on the couch.” Hotch crossed the room and pulled Spencer to sit on the bed with him. “I am not leaving you here alone. I’ll wake you if I hear you having a nightmare.”

“You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine. Go home, Hotch.”

“No. This is partially my fault. I knew something was off and I still pushed forward. I should have made sure you heard me. Though, if I’d known that you were apprehensive about the cuffs, I’d had definitely made sure that you heard me. When you jerked the first time, I just thought it was you playing. Fighting me. I didn't even notice the blood until I unhooked the cuff. When you uttered your safe word, I nearly threw up.”

“I was…I don’t know what I was but I wasn’t thinking and that’s a new state for me,” Spencer admitted. He was coming down from that high and he felt so tired right now. The whole scene played through his mind and he looked down at Hotch’s cock. He hadn’t gotten to come. With his left hand, Spencer reached down.

“No. There’s no way I’m going to be able to get it up tonight, not after that. Don’t worry about me. I’m more worried about you. Will you lie down?”

“I can try…” Spencer stopped speaking and tried to slip down to his knees on the floor. Hotch had come to him to get away from the world and he’d fucked up. A hard hand on his arm pulled him, roughly back up before he could get all the way down.

“No. Spencer, I promise. I’m fine. I’m serious that I’m more worried about you. Please just lie down. I’ll sit here beside you until you fall asleep.” Hotch leaned over and turned on the small lamp at the bedside and then got up to turn off the overhead light. Spencer lay down like he wanted but he watched the older man like a hawk. He rolled to lie on his side, back to the side that Hotch was sitting on. He burrowed under the covers and sighed. There was minimal pain in his wrists; the pain reliever in his antibacterial cream was kicking in. He hadn’t really noticed the pain before then, too worked up and scared.

Hotch settled at his back, not touching him but allowing him to know he wasn’t alone. The sound of pages turning had him turning over slightly to look. Hotch had a book in hand. It was _The Romance of Tristan and Iseult_ in French. He started to read aloud and Spencer couldn’t look at him. He rolled over, closing his eyes tight and just tried to push the world away. But Hotch’s voice broke through. His superior was only staying out of guilt. He felt bad for what happened. That was the only possible reason he could be staying.

Spencer knew that he couldn’t depend on this. Hotch was free now. He could go out and find someone better. Someone who could be everything that he needed. Those thoughts and Hotch's soft voice reading in French lulled Spencer into a deep sleep.


	16. Interlude IV-Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elephant's Memory

Spencer looked at the number calling him, trying to figure out where he'd seen the number before. The phone was on silent so it wasn't bothering other patrons. Haley. It was Haley's cell phone number. He'd seen it once on emergency contact paperwork in Hotch's office.

"Doctor Reid," Spencer said as he placed the phone at his ear.

" _Spencer, how are you doing?_ "

"I'm doing fine. How about you?" Spencer relaxed, she sounded good.

" _I'm doing just fine. Aaron is coming later tonight to pick up Jack. He didn't say much but I think that last case really had something triggered in him._ "

"It was a hard case on more than just Hotch and I am not shocked that he wants to see Jack. He gave the team the day but I know he went in to do some paperwork."

" _I'm getting ready to go to the mall. Do you mind joining me? Jack loves the little toddler play area they have._ "

Spencer looked around the bookshop he was in. He'd found what he'd been looking for so he really didn't have to stay. Hotch knew that Spencer and Haley were friends of sorts. He hadn't said that he couldn't meet up with her anymore but Spencer really hadn't thought that Haley would want anything more to do with him. There were two things eating at him though. One, that Hotch would be upset with him for meeting with his now ex-wife and two, that he had no clue why Haley wanted to talk to him and he was intrigued. It would also help in his quest to stay away from his apartment. He didn't want to be there when Hotch showed up and he was fairly certain that the man was going to. 

The case had been horrible. He agreed that what he'd done was stupid but it wasn't like Hotch had been listening to him either. He'd felt desperate to save at least one. He'd wondered if that was what his own father would be like if he'd stayed around and his mom had been committed when he was a child. Would the BAU have been called in to deal with him? Would he have become one of the UnSubs he chased? He agreed that he'd gone about what he did wrong but Hotch's words about using him had struck him in a really weird way. It was the only time so far that he'd let what he and Hotch did in the bedroom effect a case. Hotch told him that he was using him and he knew it was for his brain but rationality went out the window for a few seconds. 

Spencer knew that it was the reason he'd been brought onto the team. His brain. His ability to recall facts and figures. To have down the knowledge that was needed on crimes, victims, affect, behavior, and a million other things but it was the first time that anyone on the team had actually said it out loud. If he'd have been normal, he'd still be years away from the team. He'd have to work his way around another office before being considered for a spot on one of the elite teams in the Bureau. His brain and abilities were a blessing and a curse and that had been one moment in his life, he wondered if it was worth it. Did any of the rest of the team, that wasn't JJ, see him for who he was? He knew that Morgan sometimes only saw him as a geek or a nerd but the man never hurt him with words. Even the bit with the whistle hadn't hurt him. He'd have prefered the man hadn't done it but what could he do? Cry to Hotch? He had never done that when he'd been picked on and bullied in school. He wasn't going to do it with the team. 

Morgan talked about being bullied and while Spencer fully believed that he had been, he'd also joined the football team. He had built in protectors. The kings of the school. His bullying had stopped the second he joined. And even in college when he'd been pulled from the team due to injury, Spencer was sure he still hung with them. He might not have bullied anyone but he probably hadn't stopped anyone from being bullied. For Spencer it had only stopped a couple of years into Cal-Tech, when he'd shown he wasn't leaving and that he wasn't a pushover. Most of the bullying though was from other academics. Who saw his age as a way to prove they were better. It had failed nearly every single time. He knew that he could have come out of college with a very large ego. Many with his kind of brains did. He just wasn't that type of person. 

Hotch didn't have a say in anything that he did. Their relationship did not dictate who he was allowed to be friends with. Decision made, Spencer told Haley after sneaking a peek at his watch. "I can be at the mall in an hour. I'm actually a good ways away from there but I don't mind meeting you at all. Maybe we can do lunch in the food court?"

" _Sounds lovely. Thank you Spencer._ " Haley clicked off and then Spencer was grabbing the book he'd been looking for as well as the few others he found. He smiled at the new cashier, they'd come to know him in time.

The metro ride to the mall wasn't as bad as it could have been. It was a late Friday morning and that meant it was mainly commuters and not kids in the car. It wasn't hard to find the play area of the mall, even though he'd never paid enough attention to the mall layout to actually file away the information. Haley was easy to spot and so was Jack. The toddler saw him and toddled towards him. He was at a loss at what to do but the boy was making his way towards him as fast as he could. Jack had become attached at the park get together that had happened a few months back, when Haley and Hotch had been trying even though separated. 

"Pen!" Jack screamed as Spencer finally picked the boy up and settled him on his hip that was opposite the side his bag was resting on. The toddler leaned his forehead against Spencer’s when he leaned down. Jack was the only child that seemed to be immune to the Reid Effect as the team called it. No dog had been found yet that seemed to like him. Clooney didn’t like to be in the same room as him; no matter how many times Morgan tried to get the dog to like him. "Play?"

"Not now. Why don't you go play?" Spencer set Jack down and the boy ran back to play. Spencer made his way to Haley, taking the seat beside her. Haley handed over a cup of coffee with a smile.

"I think I got it right. I remember Aaron telling me that while you don't always put a lot of sugar in it, it varies depending on mood and how much sleep you got. With the way Aaron sounded, I don't figure you got a lot of sleep so I put in a good bit of sugar."

Spencer hid the smile on his face by taking a sip of the coffee. It wasn't overly sweet for him and that was good. She'd done pretty well at guessing a good amount of sugar. He could drink it and enjoy it, the sugar a blessing. "It's good."

"Good. I have two reasons for wanting to talk to you. Aaron kind of mentioned this last case was hard on you as well. I know that you have the team but I also know that talking to someone outside the team can help. I know that I..." Haley looked away from him. A frown on her face. "I know that I don't handle Aaron's job well at all. I just...it wasn't what I wanted for us. Is it horrible to want a husband who has a nine to five and every weekend home?"

"No." 

"The subject matter doesn't help. I can't look at that."

"Haley, you don't have to. It’s yours and Hotch's relationship. You don't need to explain anything to me. Other than telling the team when he was served the papers, he doesn't really talk about it at work."

"And outside of work?"

The look on her face told Spencer that this was the reason that she wanted to talk to him. 

"He talks little of you."

"I expected him to bring up my affairs. I would have never brought up you or Jake. I'm not a vindictive bitch." 

One of the other mom's was looking at the two of them like they were scum but Spencer just smiled at her and she huffed and moved away. 

"It wasn't until later that day after the picnic that I...realized what I had done. I'd hoped that Aaron's talk of your innocence when it came to relationship things would save me but when I thought about your reaction. I wanted to say that I am sorry for the position I put you in. I do consider us friends Spencer but Aaron is your boss. I shouldn't have put you in a position where you would have to lie to him or tell him that I was cheating on him."

"I didn't...not right away. It wasn't until after you'd left him. He'd figured it out before that though. My words were confirmation. He was more upset about me being put in the position of having to tell him or not tell him and be upset."

"You...You understand him in a way that I never can. I still love him but I can't be with him. He's...different than the young man I fell in love with. That love it didn't change over the years. I kept wanting who he was. I wanted to talk to you and ask you a promise that I have no right to ask you but I worry about him. I'm afraid that the job will consume him. Gideon let the job consume him. I don't want Aaron to become Gideon. Spencer, don't turn away from him."

"I can't make him come to me, Haley. He makes his decisions and he shares the reasons with few." Spencer thought about now. How he was hiding from Aaron. Making sure that the man couldn't catch him at the apartment. He was being a coward but he wasn't ready to face him, personally, in the aftermath that was the Owen Savage case. 

Spencer had no interest in finding a relationship with anyone, be they male or female. He was happy with sex whenever Hotch wanted. He still didn't seem to want sex like Morgan did. Hook ups with random men or women. He didn't know how Morgan had the energy after some cases to go out and snag a woman. Prentiss wasn't interested in marriage. Rossi had been married three times already. JJ had her not so secret relationship with that cop from New Orleans. Garcia had Kevin. 

The main reason that he didn't want a normal relationship was for a lot of the reasons why BAU relationships never worked out. He was gone at the drop of a hat. Work was never truly done, there were just stopping points where one could take off and not feel like shit. When he was home, he wanted to do what he wanted. After years of caring for his mother, being bound to the house when he wasn't in classes at Cal-Tech. Rushing home on weekends. Finding someone to look in on her. He wanted to be free. A relationship would bog that down. 

"Aaron makes up his own mind. I know that more than most but if he ever thinks that he's hurting you, he'll stop but I think that you've grown. I see you the least. I see the growth more. You did well under Gideon's hand but with Aaron and Dave...you've become a wonderful young man. Aaron told me that he wasn't the same after Boston. It's not just because of the sexual side either. Aaron talks about the team as a whole a great deal. How he doesn't feel the need to call you Doctor Reid as much when introducing you as your stance and behavior make you act older and therefore the LEOs don't see the need to not listen to you."

Hotch had never said that to him. He knew that Hotch didn't always introduce him as Doctor Reid anymore. That was hard to miss. Rossi only did a little bit of the time but was that because of what Rossi was seeing? That he didn't need that title to show authority. He hadn't acted that way on the last case. His personal feelings had dropped into the case long before Hotch had said that he was using him. His inner arm started to itch. He needed to go to that meeting. Hotch had been right. 

"Jack loves playing here doesn't he?" Spencer turned his gaze fully to the toddler. He was playing with blocks with a girl who looked to be about a year older than him. Jack looked up at him and Haley and smiled. There was so much of Hotch in that smile. Jack was going to be a striking male. Haley and Hotch loved him and he'd grow up a happy boy. The sins of the past wouldn't be visited on him. Hotch was a wonderful father. He'd never do whatever had been done to him to Jack. Spencer would probably never feel like he would want a child of his own blood. There was too much of a risk of passing on his genes or of turning out like his mother; neither he would want to inflict on his child. Instead, he'd settle for what little contact he got with Jack and any children that JJ or Garcia had. He'd be happy with that.

For the first time ever, he was looking forward to the lunch with Jack. He was looking forward to being around a kid.


	17. Full Circle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S3-Tabula Rasa

Spencer looked at the cars as they passed. His mind was on Matloff. He felt bad for the man who had no memory still of what caused him to kill. Of whatever urges he gave into. He'd given in and confessed all he remembered after finding the grave of one of his victims that hadn't been found four years before.

When the SUV passed the exit that would take them to his apartment, Spencer looked at Hotch. "Hotch?"

"I was thinking that maybe you'd want to come to mine. My weekend with Jack doesn't start until tomorrow evening. We have tomorrow off. The closing of this case is kind of an anniversary, yes?" There was something in his voice. Spencer didn't know what to call it. Hotch was a romantic but that was with Haley, not him. There was no need to mark their relation with time. Their relationship, as it was, didn't exist outside of his apartment.

Spencer chose to be obtuse to that. "It's the closing of the first case I worked, yes." He watched Hotch's face. Expecting the glare turned on him. Instead he got a chuckle.

"And that makes it a celebration. It's the first untried case of your career and it's closed now. I think I have wine and I know I have the makings of spaghetti." Hotch's hands gripped the wheel a little tighter. He was nervous. Spencer tried to figure out why. He used looking at traffic as an excuse not to answer. Hotch's house and then apartment had been a safe haven. Work never intruded there. No one on the team had ever really gotten an invite. Spencer going there had only been to talk to Haley in her comfort zone. Hotch's apartment had become a safe haven even more because there was nothing there that he didn't want. He would come home to what he was expecting. That he was inviting Spencer there meant something. How could he turn him down?

"I like spaghetti."

Hotch's hand relaxed and he smiled. Spencer knew he'd made the right decision. They both kept silent as Hotch took the exit that would take them to Hotch's apartment. Spencer was nervous as he climbed out of the SUV. Hotch's car was at Quantico. He was a little shocked the man hadn't swapped it out before going home. It made no sense to swap it out after going home. Spencer himself had taken an SUV home before once when the Metro was down and once when a near monsoon had hit.

Nothing was said as the pair grabbed their bags from the backseat of the SUV. Spencer followed Hotch up the stairs. He thought it odd up until on the landing between second and third floor stairs. Hotch grabbed his bag from his hand and threw it to the ground. Spencer opened his mouth to ask what was wrong when he was shoved into corner and then his superior was on his knees, working his pants open.

Spencer could only swallow his words as his pants were jerked down his thighs. He'd started to harden as soon as Hotch had dropped to his knees. The older man didn't even pull his underwear down, just pulled him out of the top and then he was surrounded with wet heat.

Reaching out, Spencer tried to grab onto Hotch's hair but his hand was jerked away. Both of his hands were pressed into the wall. He grabbed the hand rail that ran the wall and held on. He couldn't move his legs. They were in public and probably on camera.

Spencer was about to remark on that when he felt Hotch shifting and then his cock was feeling a strange pressure. He looked down and the older man's nose was touching the skin of his crotch. The pressure grew until all he felt was liquid warmth and he tried to not thrust. He wanted more of that. Hotch was deep throating him! He'd never even thought it something he'd get. He hadn't known it was something the man could do. Hands on his hips held him in place as Hotch swallowed just a little more. He could feel the muscles gripping his cock and massaging as Hotch swallowed.

"Fuck. Hotch. I'm so close. I'm..." Gripping the hand rails as tight as possible, Spencer closed his eyes and came. He barely felt it as Hotch pulled back to catch his release in his mouth. The man stood when Spencer slumped back, his orgasm over. He barely felt himself getting tucked back into his pants. Instead, he had lips on his and willingly opened his lips. Hotch was brutal with the kiss. It was only when he could taste his release stronger than normal that he realized that he hadn't swallowed it!

Eyes snapping open, Spencer looked at Hotch. His eyes were open as well, watching. Spencer's brain was shorted out from the blow job and hard orgasm followed by the shock that he couldn't even remember the name of the act they were doing. Hotch was leaning over him so gravity let his release slide into Spencer's mouth and Hotch had to actually suck to get it back into his mouth.

Moaning, Spencer let go of the railing and pulled Hotch's head closer, his other hand he wrapped around the man to grab his ass and thrust into him. Back and forth the release moved until finally, Spencer felt him swallow and then jerked his mouth away. He released his head and slumped even more into the wall.

"I've wanted to do that since I got drunk. It had been my plan that night but I just...I got out of control. I've never thanked you for what you did that night. I woke up in your bed and I was...horrified. You stopped me from doing something stupid."

"I couldn't take advantage." Spencer bit his lip as he looked at Hotch. The taste of himself and Aaron was on his lips. He could feel how hard he was. He wanted to ask. He wanted to learn. He wanted to do that to Hotch.

"The camera that watches this landing is broken. Has been for a year. No one caught us on tape. That doesn't mean that someone isn't going to catch us so we had better get to my apartment."

Hotch grabbed the bags from where they had landed and pulled Spencer away from the wall with his free hand. As they walked side by side up the stairs, Hotch's hand was hot and heavy on the small of his back. The hand only left when they stopped at the door. Hotch reached around him to unlock the door. Spencer only moved forward when Hotch prodded him to. The man moved past him when the door shut and went right into the back of the apartment, Spencer figured to put the bags up. He didn't know what to do so he just stood and waited for Hotch to get back.

When the sound of steps carried down the hall, Spencer looked up to see Hotch go right for the kitchen. Spencer wandered towards there, stopping at a bookshelf to read the titles. The books were all fiction. Various spy series. He wasn't shocked to see several James Bond novels. It was a series that he'd wanted to read but had never picked up.

"I have bow tie noodles and angel hair," Hotch called out from the kitchen and it prompted Spencer to finally enter the room.

"Either. I'm not picky."

Hotch had a pot on the stove already, full of water with a flame under it. There was another pan beside it with what looked like already cooked hamburger in it. A jar of sauce was dumped in as he watched. "The wine is in the fridge."

Spencer took that as Hotch asking him to get it. He found the bottle easy as well as the corkscrew. It wasn't hard to figure out the layout of the kitchen. He knew Hotch well. The wine glasses were on the highest shelf just to the left of the sink. It wasn't an expensive wine but it was a brand that Spencer had heard JJ talk about. He handed Hotch a glass after pouring both of theirs. Fingers brushed his and he knew it wasn't an accident. Intimacy. Hotch needed intimacy.

Moving closer, Spencer watched as the other man relaxed as he stirred the sauce. It was domestic and so far out of Spencer's depth that he was afraid that he was drowning. He could leave and Hotch wouldn't say a thing. All he had to do was say that he was uncomfortable.

He just didn't want to be alone.

"That sauce looked homemade."

"I think it is. There is a little old lady two floors up that gave me several jars when I moved in. Jack loves it."

Dinner was eaten standing up in the kitchen. The bottle of wine was drained. The safest topic that Spencer could think of was the case. Hotch said nothing when he brought it up. When the few dishes were done, Spencer washing while Hotch dried, he wasn't shocked when he felt hands on his hips, holding him in place. The man stepped closer, leaving no mistake what he wanted. He could feel Hotch’s hard cock pressing into his back.

“I want you to go into the bathroom and shower. Make sure to clean your ass really well.”

Spencer inhaled as Hotch’s lips grazed his ear and hot breath rolled.

“I’ve taken the edge off but it’s going to be a little while before you come again. You are not allowed to come in the shower.” Hotch stepped back and Spencer wasn’t prepared for the smack to his ass cheek. He exhaled as the sting traveled from his skin to his cock. He hadn’t been hard before that but now he seemed to be aching already. Hotch hadn’t smacked him in a long while and it had never felt like that before. He didn’t turn to look at Hotch. He didn’t know what look was on his face. He started when a hand trailed down his cloth covered ass and squeezed what had just been smacked, he moaned. “Go.”

Feet carrying him away before he was even aware of what he was doing, Spencer was inside the bathroom in the master bedroom. He stripped and was inside of the shower in just under two minutes. He found that there was a bottle of the same body wash that he used as well as a rag. The shampoo though was Hotch’s brand. He knew that from years of cases. He could tell who had forgotten theirs based on who smelled like the others. Everyone used very distinctive smells.

Taking Hotch’s words to heart, Spencer made sure his ass was very clean. He wondered about what Hotch was going to do. He only did a cursory wash on his hair, not even worrying about conditioner. Shutting off the water, Spencer grabbed the towel he’d draped over Hotch’s on the rack just outside the tub. He dried his hair as quickly as he could and grabbed for his glasses. He hated being blind in strange places and as much as this was Hotch’s place and he knew he was safe, it was new. He stepped out onto the mat and roughly dried his skin. He reached out for his pants to find them gone. He’d not taken clean clothes in with him as he didn’t see a point but he was going to put his pants on. Hotch had taken his clothes! He looked around to make sure that he hadn’t knocked them over in his rush to get into the shower but there was nothing. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he peeked into the bedroom. Hotch was sitting on the edge of the bed and Spencer could see his clothes piled on his go bag, all the way across the room. The older man had changed into just a pair of jeans.

“You coming out?”

“You stole my clothes!” He knew he was getting better at being naked but that was usually when the act was over. When Hotch's gaze wasn't fully focused on him.

“You don’t need them. Not for what I have planned for you.” Hotch leered at him and Spencer swallowed.

When a minute passed and Spencer didn’t make a move to leave the bathroom, Hotch stood up. He threw the door open and grabbed the towel at Spencer’s waist, pulling him as he walked backwards towards the bed. Hotch dropped down and pulled Spencer into his lap, ripping the towel away as he did so. Lips on his neck followed by a nip to his collarbone had Spencer getting hard again. The shower had seen his erection flagging but now it was getting excited again. He let Hotch draw his arms behind his back and it wasn’t until he felt fingers loop around his wrist that memories flashed into his mind. Before he could even do a thing, fingers in his hair jerked his head back. Not as hard as it had been that time but enough for pain to arc across his skin but unlike last time there was no fear. Only pleasure. He started to pant as he tried to get friction on his cock.

“More?” Hotch asked, his voice rough. Keeping Spencer's cock from getting what it wanted.

Spencer shivered in anticipation. “Yes,” he croaked.

“I’m not going to let you fall.” Hotch pushed up at his hands and Spencer let the man link one hand around the opposite wrist. The only thing keeping him up was Hotch’s hand in his hair and his own legs on the bed. A tug on his hair and Spencer pushed himself up to where he was practically kneeling on the bed with no weight at all on Hotch except on his single hand. The hand let go of his hair and braced him at the base of his skull, he didn’t move. “Good. Fuck you are so hot like this.”

The smack came on his ass, harder than it had in the kitchen and Spencer wobbled but got his legs settled, spread a little more to balance himself. He couldn’t see anything but the ceiling above him so he wasn’t expecting the lick at the head of his cock.

“Already leaking. More?”

“Yes,” breathless, Spencer hoped Hotch heard him. All he could think about was how he’d never ever thought that this was anything that he would like. He knew that it was all down to trust. The hand at his neck switched to Hotch’s right and Spencer braced. He was so lost in his head that when the next two smacks landed and he felt the swell of orgasm. He wasn’t ready for it and had no time to warn Hotch that he was coming. His knees gave out and Hotch’s hands helped him settle down on to the older man’s legs.

“Reid?”

Spencer forced his eyes open, hearing the slight concern in his voice. He smiled at the older man but hissed when he put more weight on his ass.

“Get lost in your head again?” Hotch asked, his voice steady now and tinged with humor. Spencer could only nod. “Do you know how hot that is? Truly? That you can work yourself up to orgasm with little stimulation on my part. I wish there was a way for me to see what you see and feel what you feel when you do. The problem is that I wasn’t planning for that. I know I can get you off again but damn, now I am messy.”

Spencer looked down and saw that his release was all over Hotch’s chest. He looked back at Hotch’s face and saw the wicked looking smirk.

"On your knees on the floor."

Sliding to the floor from Hotch’s lap, Spencer settled on his knees. Hand on the back of his neck, gripping hair, Spencer was drawn up and when he was dead center on the older man’s stomach, he knew what was wanted of him. His first lick was tentative. The moan that Hotch let out had him licking again, harder. The hand on his head just held him, it didn’t direct him. His eyes dropped to Hotch’s crotch as he licked him clean. He was hard. Spencer’s hands had been settled on the older man’s knees to hold himself up so he slid them up the inside of his thighs, letting his tips near scratch up the fabric. The only reaction that got was a subtle tightening of the hand on his hair.

Keeping his eyes on tracking what he needed to clean up, Spencer worked at undoing the jeans. When Hotch’s chest and stomach were clean just seconds later he dipped his head down and suckled at the head of the confined in underwear cock. Hotch’s grip tightened and he couldn’t move his head.

“Strip me first then you can have my cock in your mouth.”

Spencer shuffled back so that Hotch could stand. As soon as the man was up, he worked his jeans down to his ankles, ignoring the cock that was at face level. Hotch stepped out of them and Spencer threw them somewhere behind him. Next was his underwear. As soon as heard the whisper of the cloth landing on the ground, Spencer drew Hotch’s cock into his mouth. He wound his hands around to Hotch’s backside, gripping his ass cheeks to keep him right where he was.

“Relax,” Hotch said and then the grip on his neck shifted to grip a whole handful of hair. Spencer did as he asked; he relaxed but kept sucking and running his tongue on the underside of the cock in his mouth. Hotch thrust in his mouth a little, going back a little farther than normal. A hand ghosting his throat startled him a little but the thumb tracing up and down the stretched column of his neck had him settling again. “Pull off if it gets to be too much.”

The hand in his hair guided his head a little to the side and then the head of the cock was brushing the back of his throat. Spencer moaned and fought the small gag reaction that started. “Focus on my thumb.”

Spencer did exactly that. He lifted his tongue when Hotch pulled out and sucked as he pushed back in. Focusing on the feel of the thumb on his throat. When several minutes had passed and he no longer felt the gag reaction when Hotch’s cock head brushed the back of his throat, Spencer shivered and moaned even harder. The hand in his hair turned loose grip into a hard one. He felt the tensing of muscles that he recognized easily. He prepared himself for Hotch’s release. The thumb tracing his throat shifted and tightened. He couldn’t swallow. He couldn’t move his head so he couldn’t nod to tell his superior that he understood. He settled for just stilling completely.

Seconds later, his mouth was filling with the other man’s release. The hand on his throat pulled him up and he was being kissed within an inch of his life. Hotch sucked the release from his mouth but swallowed it instead of snowballing it like he had before. The hand on his throat relaxed and Spencer swallowed. He was panting and it was hard to catch his breath but he was so achingly hard.

“I wasn’t going to come until I was buried inside of you but the sight of you on your knees, trusting me so much. The thought of you being able to take me the whole way soon. I just couldn’t hold back anymore. You are ruining all of my plans for tonight.” Hotch dove back in and kissed him. He was manhandled around to where when they fell to the bed; he was underneath the older man. “You aren’t going to stop my next plans. On your belly, hands on the headboard. Don’t let go.”

Spencer felt cheeky; he smiled at the man above him. “Yes, Sir.”

“You are staying the night. Condom, yes or no?” Hotch asked as pushed himself up off Spencer and moved towards the nightstand. A tube of lube was tossed down at Spencer’s hip as he settled on his stomach on the bed. It was close to the position of their first time.

“No. Want to feel you.” Spencer slid his hands under the pillow, gripping the bar at the bottom of the headboard. He shifted his head to lay just on the edge of the pillow, making a space where he could breathe easy. It also blocked every bit of his vision. He still had his glasses on but he was comfortable for the time being.

“Spread your legs.” Hotch’s voice came from the end of the bed. As soon as Spencer spread his legs, he felt the bed dip and then hands were on his ass cheeks. He felt a nip of each cheek and then hot air on his hole. He thought that Hotch couldn’t be getting ready to do what he thought he was going to just as he felt wet, hot tongue swipe over his entrance.

“Hotch!” Spencer pulled himself up and away from the tongue. He started to roll over so he could see him but the hands let go of his cheeks and grabbed his hips, pulling him down even farther on the bed and holding him down. He didn’t let go of the headboard. He was breathing hard and not all of it was pleasure. He wasn't sure what he thought of Hotch rimming him. Body draped over his back, pressing him into the bed.

"Never had your ass licked before?"

Spencer's only answer was to shake his head a little. Warm air gusted over his neck as Hotch placed an open mouth kiss on his neck. He slid down his back, kissing and biting where he wished. By the time he got down to Spencer's ass again, he was thrusting down onto the bed to give his cock relief of some kind. Hands at his hips though pulled up and then he felt a knee pushing at his knees. Shifting to rest his weight on his forearms, Spencer pushed up to his knees.

"If you can stay still, you can let go of the headboard." Hotch's breath ghosted over the crack of his ass and it told Spencer all he needed to know. He shifted a little but kept his hands on the headboard. "Want to take off your glasses?"

Spencer pulled them off and reached out blindly to lay them on the nightstand he remembered being at the edge of the bed. He felt the wood underneath the item and dropped them. Thankfully, the glasses didn't fall down. He just had his hand back on the bar when his cheeks were split again and hot tongue swiped. He didn't know if he liked the feeling. He was a little freaked out and understood why Hotch had wanted him to clean himself well. If he'd have known that this was going to happen, he could have cleaned himself out with an enema.

A smack on his ass, not exactly easy drew his attention back to Hotch and his tongue. He had no clue how much time had passed and Hotch said nothing, just licked again at him. Then instead of another lick, he felt the tip of his tongue right at his hole. He felt the tension of the tongue and then it was trying to push inside of him. His whole body tensed as he fought the urge to pull away from the sensation. The tongue pulled out and then a fingertip was tracing his hole. It slid inside him with ease, his body used to it. A bite to his cheek had him jumping.

“Spread yourself open for me.” Hotch’s voice was thick with lust and Spencer moaned softly at it. Spencer swallowed and tried to shift around. He wouldn’t be able to hide his face and breath, holding himself open for Hotch. He’d have to do something else. “Actually…”

There was no warning. One second Hotch was behind him on the bed a finger in his ass and the next the weight and finger were gone then hands on his thighs pulled until he was settled on his knees on the floor. He was pushed down to where his chest was on the bed. He reached back and grabbed his ass cheeks, pulling himself open. He buried his face in the bedspread.

“Don’t smother yourself,” Hotch warned and then hot breath was on his crack again. He gasped into the covers as that tongue shoved itself into him again. That felt better than it possibly ever should for what it was. His mind pictured what they had to look like. Him bent over the bed and Hotch’s face buried in his ass.

A finger made its way inside of him along with the tongue and he bit at the bed covers to keep his moan of pleasure muffled. The vibrations at his ass from Hotch’s chuckle told him that it didn’t work. The wet heat of the tongue as well as the finger sliding in and out of him had Spencer on edge. He started to thrust himself into the bed. He lost all contact with Hotch as the man sat up.

“No. Uh uh.”

Hands on his hips pulled him back just far enough off the bed to where he couldn’t get friction on his cock. He groaned at the loss then near screamed as he felt two fingers shove themselves in him. The easy way they slid inside of him told Spencer that Hotch had either used a lot of spit or lube. When tongue chased fingers, he figured that Hotch had used spit.

“Please,” Spencer begged. He keened as fingers found his prostate and rubbed. The fingers pulled out again and then there was just heat as Hotch’s tongue went inside of him as far as it could. His muscles no longer fighting the invading muscle.

Turning his head to the side, Spencer gave up muffling the sounds he was making. He begged and pleaded for Hotch to get inside of him. In and out the wet heat moved. Spencer couldn’t take it. He was so close. Tongue left and then three fingers were sliding into him. Two strokes and then a hand was enclosing his cock. He spread his cheeks as far as they would go. He was so close. He just needed a little more. He felt something brush his thighs as he almost went over that edge. He wasn’t ready for the fingers to pull free and he almost screamed at Hotch to get them back inside of him when he felt it. The blunt head of cock and then he was just full. Spencer let go of his cheeks and tried to balance himself as Hotch pulled out but the man slammed back inside of him. He could feel the burn of his muscles as they adjusted to being fucked like he was. He got one arm braced on the floor and the other on the bed as the hand on his cock started to really jerk him off.

The scream was pulled out of him at the same time that his orgasm hit. It felt like he couldn’t breathe. His entire body felt like a liquid. He slumped down and only Hotch’s hands stopped him. Those hands petted at him and lifted him up and then he felt cool bed sheets on his back and he was looking up into Hotch’s face.

“Reid?” Hotch’s voice didn’t sound worried, not yet.

Spencer reached up and pulled him down into a kiss. He couldn’t speak but he could kiss. He tried to convey his feelings in that kiss. He’d never felt anything like that before. He let his eyes fall closed as he kissed and when he felt hands trailing down his sides and start to lift his legs, he didn’t care. Hotch slid inside him easily. He wrapped his legs around the man, keeping him as close as he could as they fucked and kissed. When he absolutely needed to breathe, Spencer ripped his mouth away from Hotch. Panting as Hotch’s mouth transferred from his lips to his neck. Hotch’s thrusting sped up and just as he felt the other man’s rhythm start to stutter, he crushed their lips back together, using Hotch’s short hair as a fulcrum. Hips slammed into his once, twice, and a third time, harder than the others and the man stilled, near screaming into the kiss.

Hotch slumped down on top of him, carefully pulling his cock free. Spencer kept his legs wrapped around him and just laid there. The stress of the day and the exhaustion from the near marathon sex, Spencer didn’t even realize when he closed his eyes again and was passed out.

XxXxXxX

Spencer woke up after a night of very restful sleep. His body felt a little stiff like he hadn’t moved at all in his sleep which was unusual. He was warm. He hadn’t kicked his blankets off in his sleep. He opened his eyes and while he couldn’t see a lot, he knew that the sheets and bedclothes were not his. He tensed and that’s when he felt the body at his back.

The night before came back and Spencer fought the urge to flee the bed. When Hotch had told him he was staying the night, he figured the man meant he was sleeping on the couch. Or the guest room. He didn’t even know if Hotch’s place had a guest room. He’d seen the living room, kitchen, a peek of Hotch’s office, and Hotch’s bedroom. He didn’t know what to do. He’d never slept in the same bed as anyone. The last time that he and Morgan had been shoved into a room together and there had only been one bed in small town Vermont, he’d taken the couch.

“Awake?” Hotch asked, his voice sounded like he’d been awake for a while. His breath tickled at the back of Spencer’s neck and it confirmed that Hotch had at least slept part of the night wrapped around him. The body behind him shifted and that’s when he felt the subtle thrust on his backside. Hotch was hard and the man was thrusting against him.

“Yes.”

“I showered last night and came back to find you still just dead asleep. You didn’t even wake up at all when I cleaned you up. Did I fuck your brains out, Doctor Reid?” Hotch’s hand snaked around Spencer to palm at his cock. He hadn’t been even remotely hard but now with Hotch’s hand on him and the words from the man’s mouth he was starting to be. “What do you want, Reid?”

“I don’t know. What are my options?” Spencer asked. He rolled up onto his side, Hotch rolled with him to stay plastered at his back. The thrusting became more and the hand on his cock harder.

“We can fuck. We can suck each other off. Or we can stay right like this and I come all over your backside and jerk you off.”

The thought of any of those had all his blood rushing to his cock. Hotch’s hand on his cock started to loosen.

“Make your decision quick or I’ll jack off in the shower. Alone.”

“Sixty nine,” Spencer answered. As soon as the words were out of his mouth he snapped it shut. He hadn’t meant to say that. He hadn’t meant to say that at all. Oh, he wanted to do it.

“So is that what it gets to get you to tell me what you want with no shame?” Hotch was moving, pulling Spencer around and into the middle of the bed. He’d only seen pictures of men sucking each other off. He’d never done it before; never entertained that he would want to do it with someone. Hotch had him on his side and then was flipping down to lay with his head towards the foot of the bed. Hot breath was the only thing that Spencer could think about other than the hard cock in front of his face. He took a deep breath and then leaned down to run his lips across Hotch’s balls before sucking one into his mouth.

A hand on his thigh had Spencer raising it up so that Hotch could get to him better. He wasn’t shocked when a wet finger traced at his hole and he shifted so that Hotch could finger fuck and suck him. As the finger slid inside of him, his cock was surrounded by wet heat. His hand was grabbed and the tube of lube slapped into it. Spencer lifted his head up to look at Hotch shocked at that. The man wasn’t looking at him though. He was wholly interested in sucking Spencer’s cock. And God did it feel good.

Spencer shifted to where he could take Hotch in his mouth and worked the hard length a few times before he snapped open the lube. He coated two fingers before dropping it onto the bed between them. Shifting to get a better angle with his fingers, Spencer trailed the tip of his pointer finger up and down the crack of Hotch’s ass. The older man didn’t do anything except continue working Spencer’s cock and ass. He tried his hardest to ignore what the man was doing to him. It was come undone or make Hotch come undone first. He vowed to make the older man come first.

As the ring of muscle loosened for him, Spencer let the tip slip inside the man on a pass. He didn’t push in farther though, just continued the up and down movement of his finger, letting the tip slip just a little farther inside each time. He changed the angle of his head and took more of Hotch into his mouth.

Hotch pushed two fingers inside of him and Spencer could only moan around the cock inside his mouth. The older man jerked at the sensation and Spencer smiled. He pushed the tip of his finger just a little more inside before pulling it back out. He wondered if Hotch would ever want to be fucked by him. That was thoughts for another time though.

Spencer pushed his finger all the way in slowly, inch by inch. It felt weird to him. Hotch was so much tighter than Spencer was. As he let the head of the cock brush the back of his throat, he worked his finger in and out to loosen the ring of muscle. When he was sure that Hotch was ready, he pulled the finger out and slowly pushed back in with two as he leaned just a little further down on Hotch’s cock. His gag reflex tried to kick in and he remembered back to Hotch’s thumb on his throat. He relaxed and the tip slid down his throat. He was rewarded with Hotch stilling his ministrations on Spencer’s own cock. The man pulled off and Spencer worked both of his fingers all the way into him. He sought out Hotch’s prostate and after a few little brushes around, found it.

Hot breath on his hip and he looked down long enough to see that Hotch was leaning against him with eyes closed and mouth open, breathing hard.

“Close. Fuck. So close.”

Spencer doubled his efforts, swallowing around the cock head and he felt it. He pulled farther back so that he wouldn’t choke and brushed his fingers across Hotch’s prostate again and was rewarded with a shout and then liquid filling his mouth. As he swallowed he pulled his fingers out of Hotch’s ass and worked on working every drop out of the man. He only pulled off when Hotch had given over every single drop and Spencer was sure that he was clean.

Rolling to where his back was sort of on the bed but his crotch was still within reach of Hotch, he lay there gasping for breath. The other man took his entire length back into his mouth and redoubled his efforts to get Spencer to come. He didn’t try and keep himself at bay this time. He laid there and enjoyed every single thing that Hotch did to him.

Orgasm came quickly, it was like Hotch was slightly offended that he’d come first. When Spencer felt he had nothing left, he reached down and grabbed at Hotch until his hand landed in his hair, pulling him up. Hotch draped himself over him and they kissed. The mingling of the taste of himself and Hotch had Spencer’s cock twitching. It was erotic as hell to him.

“No. I’m done. You…learn way too quickly.”

“When I really want to learn it, yes.” Spencer let a lazy smile grace his face as Hotch pulled back to look at him.

“I’ll start coffee and breakfast if you want to shower.” Hotch pushed himself up and away from Spencer. The loss of the heat had him shivering some but he rolled off the bed to move to the bathroom. His glasses were on the nightstand but his contacts were in the bathroom. He could put them in after he showered.

By the time that Spencer left the shower, Hotch had put his go bag in the room. He changed into a new outfit and slipped his contacts in. He looked at himself in the mirror expecting to look different. He felt different. It was just the same old Spencer staring at him though. The door opened and he barely looked at the Hotch as the man slipped in beside him at the sink. He watched Hotch as he shaved and combed his hair. There was something different and he didn’t know what it was.

When Hotch was done, he turned to look at Spencer. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. “Your bag and mine fell over. I don’t think they are mine.”

“No, they are. It’s a new set of keys to my place. Deadbolt, regular lock, and the key that gets you in the front when it’s locked at night when security locks it. I had them made a few weeks ago and kind of forget about them once I get to work. We’ve not had much time where I could slip them to you. If you can get in, I don’t mind sex. If the chain is on, I don’t really feel like it. How does that sound?”

“Even if you are asleep?” Hotch pocketed the keys again.

“Sure. I’m not going to say no to hot sex. If I’m too tired or not in the mood, I’ll put the chain up.” Spencer shrugged as he said it. Hotch wasn’t texting before showing up like he used to. He literally just showed up. “You and Morgan are the only ones with keys and he never just lets himself in. It’s a pretty good sign that if the door is opening, it’s going to be you.”

“Then sure. Sounds like a plan. Coffee’s ready.” Hotch just gave him a smile and then left the bathroom. Spencer wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and tried to relax. He hadn’t realized what he would have done if Hotch said no. Packing up his go bag, Spencer let his mind think back to the night before. There had been so many things that they had done that were new. He’d liked them all, once he’d let go enough to enjoy Hotch rimming him. He just hoped the man never asked for it back because he wasn’t sure that he would be able to do it.

When he was all packed, he slipped out of the bathroom and dropped his bag by the door. Hotch was eating oatmeal and sipping coffee while reading over the paper. He pushed over the sections of the papers that weren’t the first as Spencer sat down with his oatmeal and coffee. It was a good start to a day off.


	18. Purge

Spencer hadn’t felt so angry at anything for a long time. The whole team was pissed at Morgan but Spencer was mad at Hotch. Hotch was indifferent to everything that had gone around him since the team had heard from Garcia that Morgan had drove the ambulance to the park and it blew up. It was night but Spencer knows that he was not going to get a lick of sleep.

The team was on edge because of all that had happened in such a short time but Spencer couldn’t ignore the looks that he was getting from JJ and Morgan. They could tell that he was pissed. Morgan knew though that it wasn’t at him because Spencer was at least looking at him. Hotch is at the back of the line of agents finally making their way into the hotel for some sleep. The NYPD and the Field Office were handling everything and the BAU team had all been but ordered to go to sleep for at least a few hours. The cleanup of the case would take a long time but it was time that the BAU team didn’t have. The New York Field Office would have to take charge. The team had caught their killers, one way or another.

Spencer moved right towards his room, waiting for the others to slip into theirs. When all the doors were closed, he slid his key card into the lock but before he could open the door, a hand was wrapped around his mouth and another around his chest to hold his arms close. If it wasn’t for the smell of blood and Hotch’s faint cologne, Spencer would have fought out of the hold. He stilled in the hold but he kept his ears open for any noise that told him that anyone was leaving their rooms.

“My room,” Hotch growled in his ear. Spencer nodded and the hand around his chest pulled away but the one on his mouth did not. He stayed tucked closed to Hotch’s chest as they moved across the hall. He moved when Hotch did. The beeping of the door was the only noise in the hall. When the door was swung open, Spencer was shoved full tilt into the room. The only thing that kept him on his feet was he caught the edge of the bed with his hands. As soon as he was stable, he turned to start yelling at Hotch.

“What the fuck was that?” Spencer asked, his voice pitched low so that no one could hear him. Everyone else on the team was on the other side of the hall. Hotch’s room was the only one that was separate but he still didn’t want to wake any of the other guests.

“I didn’t need you talking.”

“No, the shoving. What the hell is wrong with you?” Spencer let his anger out. It was safe here to do that. “You are acting strange.”

“What’s wrong, Reid?” Hotch sounded sincere but this face…his face told the truth. There was something simmering underneath and Spencer didn’t know what it was but he didn’t care. Morgan and his trust issues took a back seat the moment that Spencer had figured out that the only thing Hotch cared about with the case was helping Joyner. Everyone had noticed how much like Haley Joyner looked. He felt bad that she was dead and he knew that Hotch had to be hurting but acting like he had been was not the way to fix it.

“You are what is wrong,” Spencer answered.

“Afraid of what would happen?” Hotch asked as he stalked closer to Spencer. There was no other word for what he was doing. It threw Spencer for a loop for a few seconds. Trying to stay at a respectable distance from him, he backed up and found himself trapped in a corner between wall and bed. “Afraid that I’d take that job, forcing Morgan out of it and leave you behind?”

All Spencer could see was red. He took a step towards Hotch instead of away from him.

“No. You’d never leave Virginia while Haley and Jack are there. I was more afraid that you’d do something stupid like fuck her.” Spencer wanted to pull the words back into his mouth the moment he said them but when he saw the flinch that Hotch did, he knew he’d struck a nail on the head. He had seen what he thought had been on Hotch’s face before, the simmering anger. “Do we need to use condoms until you get tested?”

The look on Hotch’s face got harder and his eyes were black with anger but Spencer didn’t care. He’d scared every single member of the team. The stunt with the ambulance had been proof that he hadn’t been thinking straight. He’d forced an issue when a hospital was on lockdown because he knew that in the face of death, humans caved. Hotch moved a few steps closer and there was not a great deal of distance between them now. He could feel Hotch’s exhalation with every single breath.

“What are you afraid of then? That I’d replace you as the whore that I fuck?”

Spencer didn’t realize what he’d done until the pain blossomed on the palm of his hand. The look of anger on Hotch’s face gave way to pure shock. Spencer’s hand was still in the air and he moved to pull it back towards his body. There was a small trickle of blood from the split on the man’s face. Like a snake striking, Hotch had a hold of both of his hands. His back collided with the wall and he sucked in a breath, scared. He hadn’t meant to slap him. He kept his movement down, not even breathing.

Hotch’s body just seemed to flow. A knee worked its way between his thighs and then lips were slamming into his. He hissed in pain as he felt his lip split but all Hotch did was shove his tongue in his mouth. He knew right then what Hotch had been doing. He’d wanted a fight and he’d gone about it the quickest way he knew how. Spencer tried to shove with his hands, even knowing he wouldn’t be able to break the older man’s hold without hurting the both of them. Hotch pushed even closer, holding his body against the wall. The other man was hard and Spencer knew that he was getting hard. Now that he knew Hotch’s end game, he could get on board with this. Thank God I’m Alive Sex hadn’t been on his mind before Hotch had shoved him into the wall but right now his blood was pumping.

Lips were gone from his and before he could even attempt saying a word, fingers were inside his mouth instead. He sucked on them and closed his eyes. Tongue traced his jaw before sliding down his neck. Teeth clenched on his shoulder over top of his shirt.

“I want you naked.” Hotch’s voice was rough and when the older man stepped back, Spencer started to strip. He started with his tie and moved to drop it on the ground but Hotch reached out and grabbed it from him before he could. The tie as well as Hotch’s were dropped on the bed. Hotch was naked before him but that was no big deal. The man was nothing if not efficient and Spencer couldn’t seem to get his hands to stop shaking.

Hotch moved to the other side of the room and grabbed his go bag. It was dropped on the bed. His toiletry kit was grabbed and Spencer was shocked when lube came out of it. Next was a condom and Hotch held it up. Spencer shook his head. If Hotch had sex with Kate, he had to have used a condom or he wouldn’t have asked. Hotch put up the small bag. Next was a plastic bag from what looked like a leather shop in DC. It made no noise.

The bag was handed over to Spencer with no words.

“I saw them when I took my personal holster in for repair. The owner was more than willing to make the changes I wanted.” Hotch sounded hesitant so Spencer opened the bag and looked down. His mind went blank at the leather cuffs he pulled out. The only metal on them were the buckles on each cuff and a small metal link on the side of each one.

“There are several lengths of leather inside so that I can either tie them together or separate. Looped around the headboard. We don’t have to try them tonight or ever. You said it was the sound of the metal more than anything else. You can still use your work cuffs, so that’s a good thing.” Hotch was silent as Spencer just stared. “Reid?”

“Why?”

“You liked them before. It was something else that Hankel took away from you.”

“Why are they in your go bag?”

“I picked them up on a rush to get Jack and I left them in there as Jack never gets into my bags. I forgot to take them out.” Hotch stepped closer, dropping the go bag off the bed. His finger went to Spencer’s lip tracing the split.

This was one of those times that Spencer knew that Hotch showing them to him had more than just, “Oh look what I got!” meaning. Hotch had lost a friend. If binding Spencer to him, in a small way would help, he’d do it. Sitting on the bed, Spencer handed the cuffs over to him, making sure the bag fell onto the go bag. When Hotch took them, Spencer offered his wrists. Hotch inhaled but said nothing as he dropped one of the cuffs to the bed to fasten the first to Spencer’s wrist. The metal made no sound as Hotch buckled it. The next cuff was fastened in seconds and Spencer found that he liked the feel of them. There was a weight to them that felt different than the old ones. No feeling of constriction. No smell of fish trying to flash in his mind. The night had taken a turn.

When the ties were picked up, Spencer didn’t pull his eyes up from the cuffs but he watched what the man did with them. That was something that he knew he’d have to bring up soon with the man but he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready to admit how scared he was of one simple thing. Hotch though just wound up his tie into a ball. Spencer looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Safeword?” Hotch asked.

“Qua…” Hotch shoved the ball of tie into his mouth when his mouth was open wide. The second tie was wrapped around his head to keep the tie in place. It wasn’t the best gag but it would hopefully muffle him a great deal. Spencer snapped twice.

“Good. Lie back.” Hotch leaned over and pulled a long strip of leather from the bag and Spencer laid back on the bed, draping his hands above his head. There was a design in the headboard of the bed and Hotch used it to loop the leather through. Spencer watched him as he looped it through each of the rings on the cuffs before tying it in a knot. He was bound and gagged to a bed in a hotel in New York City. Hotch hadn’t touched him in a sexual way on a case since their first time together. He waited with his hands bound, tugging on them; eyes closed.

Hotch’s eyes were on him, watching him. Even though he couldn't see the eyes, he could feel them. He tugged another time on the cuffs and then brought his hands together and tugged. There was no sound of metal. No panic setting in. Opening his eyes, Spencer relaxed completely onto the bed.

“Yes?” Hotch asked.

Spencer nodded. The bed dipped as Hotch climbed on. He grabbed Spencer’s ankles and drew them apart. He didn’t move except for what Hotch had him move. The roughness has just been at bay with the older man; the moment of softness gone. He heard the snap of the lube cap and a single finger slid inside of him. The first breech was gentle, spreading the lube around and then it was rough, thrusting in and out. He wasn’t shocked when he was rolled onto his stomach. He braced to be lifted up but instead the finger came back. Still just a single one.

A hand on his lower back held him in place as he felt his cheeks being spread. He knew what was coming just seconds before the blunt head of Hotch’s cock started to breach him. The burn was there but instead of trying to get away from it, he tried to buck up take more of the cock inside of him.

“You want it rough?” Hotch asked, his voice breaking the silence of the room. Spencer nodded his head up and down. Hotch pulled the head of the cock out of him and then pulled him up to his knees. “Brace for it.”

Spencer was on his elbows and dropped his head down onto the pillow below his face. He wanted to feel it. Wanted to know that Hotch was alive. He knew that he’d feel the entry in the morning. He wasn’t stretched at all. Hotch didn’t even slide his head in first. It was from nothing to everything.

Scream muffled into gag and pillow, Spencer panted. A thumb pressed into the skin at the top of his hole then Hotch was pulling out, all the way and thrusting back in. He wasn’t ready for it and his body shuddered. The thumb pressed harder and the next thrust was just as hard. The feeling of complete emptiness followed by complete fullness had Spencer getting hard again. The pain of the first entry had softened him some but it hadn’t taken long to get him back.

Eyes closed, Spencer focused on the cuffs on his wrists, binding him down. The gag in his mouth. The anger drifted away. He could admit what was wrong. He’d grown attached to Hotch as much more than boss and friend. He had been jealous of Joyner but not the way that his boss thought. It wasn’t the thought of him choosing her, it was him being able to get everything that he wanted from her. She could have been perfect for Hotch.

The thumb lifted off and Hotch didn’t pull out all the way on the next thrust. There was no less power behind it though. He felt used. Gagged, Hotch could be picturing anyone. He could be fucking Joyner in his mind. There was no closeness to this. No caring. He was a way to chase away demons. He was a hole to fuck.

His orgasm surprised him. Spencer jerked and bucked as his released shot out from him. Hotch didn’t slow, didn’t even falter in his thrusts. He just continued to fuck into him, harder and harder. When his orgasm finally subsided, Spencer was drained. His legs gave out and Hotch rode him down, shifting to continue to slide in and out of him. His body molded to Spencer’s back and before he knew it, he felt teeth on his shoulder. He marveled for a few seconds at Hotch’s ability to find the exact same place every single time. Teeth clamped hard and Spencer bucked. He could feel his cock twitch, pressed into the bed. The bed thumped against the wall and then Hotch stilled. A shift and then the man was thrusting into him again. Hotch was chasing his own orgasm.

A sharper pain than he’d ever felt before flared on his shoulder and he felt skin rip. Hotch thrust into him one last time and grunted his release. As the high of orgasm faded, Spencer felt his shoulder aching more and more. Rolling his shoulder, Hotch let go. He didn’t get up though. He just dropped his head to where he was breathing against his neck. He could feel the roll of blood down his shoulder. He shifted again but Hotch didn’t get up. He thought for a few seconds that the man was asleep but when teeth grazed his neck he knew he wasn’t. Spencer snapped his fingers once and that had Hotch shoving up from him. The drag of cock from his hole had him hissing, the sound muffled.

“Reid?” A hand ghosted down his side and his cheeks were pulled apart. The air on his hole had him hissing again. “What’s wrong?” Fingers scrambled on the back of his head but stopped and one moved to his shoulder. A soft finger skirted the torn skin before moving back to his head to undo the tie. As soon as the fabric slid away, Spencer spit the other tie from his mouth. He shook his hands and then hands were undoing him.

“How bad is it?” Spencer asked. As soon as his hands were free he was up and moving to the bathroom. He looked at his shoulder in the bright light of the room and saw that it wasn’t as bad as he thought. It would scar though, more than the faint scar that he had from Hotch’s previous bitings. “Are you sure you are not a werewolf?” Spencer could see Hotch hovering at the edge of the room. His eyes were hooded.

“Stitches?”

“No. I just need help bandaging it up. Do you mind if I shower in here?” Spencer needed to clean up before they even thought about bandaging the wound. “I have gauze and tape in my go bag. My key is somewhere in the other room. Why don’t you go get it while I shower?”

Hotch said nothing but he slipped away. When the man was gone from sight, Spencer looked at the wound again. It was a claim. While their encounter seemed passionless while they’d been in the middle of it, Spencer could see how much Hotch cared for him. It might not be as much as Spencer wanted but he’d take what he could get.

Dabbing at the blood that was on his shoulder with a wet bit of tissue, Spencer was thankful that he was up to date with all of his shots. He’d make sure that Hotch didn’t feel bad about this. Spencer really didn’t care about it. Stepping into the shower, Spencer thought about what he needed to do. He was happy with what he had and he’d be sad without it. As long as Hotch wanted to keep this arrangement going, he would as well.


	19. Interlude V-A Mother Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S4-The Instincts

Spencer smiled as he settled down for the night with his mom. She was sitting on her bed while he was on the rollaway bed that had been brought in for him. While Doctor Norman had talked about only one night, he knew that he’d be allowed to stay longer if his mom wanted. The stress of the case was heavy on him but being here made him feel safe.

“There is something different about you, Spencer,” his mom said, breaking the silence. The only sound had been the turning of pages. Spencer looked up at her. She was staring at him in the way she always had when even she couldn’t understand him.

Looking out the window, Spencer sighed. His mother had been good to him growing up. He was the one person that she seemingly never forgot. He was never lost to the demons inside her head. She was a brilliant woman but his own brilliance outshined her and she’d known it since he was little. While he knew in his head that his father had left for his own failings as a human, there was that little part that wondered if he had been normal, would William have stayed around.

“I’ve started classes for a Philosophy degree. I’m liking the classes so far.”

“What school?”

“Georgetown. I met Alex Blake there. She teaches Linguistics and I like her a lot.”

“Oh?” His mom asked.

Spencer narrowed his eyes at her. “Her husband is really nice as well. James is with Doctors Without Borders. Alex wants me to guest lecture in her forensic linguistics class.”

“I’ve heard her name before from you.”

“She was on the team that helped solve the Unabomber case. She knows Hotch and Rossi.”

“So with the BAU before?”

“Yes. Up until the Amerithrax case. I have a lot of fun talking with her. I snuck into her class and sat in on a lecture three times before she noticed I wasn’t one of her students.” Spencer smiled when he remembered how she’d reacted.

“You used to do that at Cal-Tech when you were bored.”

“My afternoon class had been canceled I was looking for something to do.” Spencer shrugged. He’d always gotten bored really easy and he’d learned how to cope with that. He’d told the Dean at Georgetown he’d probably sit in on a lot of classes. The Dean had just been happy he’d gone through them for his first degree since joining the Bureau.”

“What did she do?”

“She asked a trick question and I let the whole of the class try and answer before I answered. I’d answered things before but I’d never drawn attention to myself. She stared at me for nearly a minute before asking if I’d taken her class before. I of course told her no. She stared at me more. I could tell that she couldn’t figure out where she knew me from.”

His mom shifted on the bed, tucking her feet up and relaxing back into the wall. A picture of happiness. While reading to each other was their favorite past time, his mom was happy with him just talking to her about anything.

“The whole class was getting on edge at that point. Her eyes narrowed and she said ‘Doctor Reid, I’d like to speak to you after class.’ I told her ‘Yes, Ma’am.’ It was only ten minutes from the end of class so the fact that she’d kind of lost them all didn’t matter. She went over the homework and the paper they were supposed to be working on. I stayed in my seat while the class filed out and those with questions asked them. Her first question to me was asking what I was doing on campus. I told her the truth. We talked for a long while. I had the day off work and it was her last class. I met her husband that night. We all went to dinner.”

“What else is new?” His mother’s eyes were staring straight into his and he looked away again. He fiddled with the page of his book before shutting it.

“JJ’s pregnant. I’ve not written about it to you. She’s very happy. Will is going to transfer up here.”

“I noticed you hadn’t been writing about her as much. On maternity leave?”

“Yes. It’s going to be a boy. I’m really happy for her.” Spencer thought about how happy JJ was. She was going to be a wonderful mom. The entire team was looking forward to seeing her little boy, whenever he decided to make his appearance. “I read up on every single book about birth and performing a delivery that I could. I wanted to make sure that she wouldn’t be hurt. Or her little boy.”

“And that’s why you are a good friend.” Shifting on the bed again to grab a light blanket, she wrapped up in it. “How is Morgan?”

“Something happened between him and JJ’s temporary replacement on the team, Jordan Todd. He won’t tell us and she’s mum on the subject.”

“Is he still against trying to find someone to settle down with?”

Spencer knew that his mother was indulging him but he hoped that if he kept her talking about a whole bunch of other things, she’d wear out and they could go to sleep before talking about what he knew she wanted to talk about. Crossing his legs, Spencer settled more on the bed, setting the book in his lap and opening it back to the page he was on.

“Yes. He met a woman in a coffee shop a while back and she knew him and his name but he couldn’t remember hers. I know that I have a spectacular memory but I can’t imagine sleeping with someone and not remembering their name.” Spencer watched as his mom’s eyes opened wide. He’d gotten too close to a subject he didn’t want to talk about. She was content knowing that he didn’t want kids, at least at the moment.

“One has to be willing to find someone to actually find someone.”

“I’m happy where I am, Mom.” Spencer wasn’t lying either. He loved his job and he did consider himself married to it. He’d watched the implosion of Hotch’s marriage to Haley first hand. He’d heard about Rossi and his three marriages. Gideon’s own marriage, he knew little about it but it hadn’t been the best. JJ and Will were both committed to their jobs as well as each other. Still they were not married and didn’t seem to want to be married.

“I know you are happy but you were lonely. You aren’t as lonely anymore.”

Spencer laughed a little. He’d learned from a young age how to read people. He’d learned it from his mom and it had helped when he’d been alone with her in his teenage years. Looking out the window again, Spencer wondered how to answer that. The least said would be better but he’d not told her about his dalliances with Hotch for a reason. She’d never hurt him on purpose, it was those times that she wasn’t herself that she could hurt him.

“I’m not serious with anyone. It’s just sex.”

“Really?” The shock in her voice was evident. Spencer wasn’t shocked by her reaction though. “You seemed so…disinterested in sex after losing your virginity.”

“I was shocked as well. This job has its horrors and it is very nice to just let go with him.”

“This doesn’t sound new. Exactly how long have you been having sex with this man?”

“I had one encounter with him just after I joined the team. Then it was a little while before he came back. We’ve been pretty regular since then but it’s gotten more…frequent in the past year.”

“He cares for you?”

“As a friend. We aren’t in this to fall in love it’s an outlet for stress.”

“That sounds…rough. You are being safe right?”

Spencer nodded but thought about what he wanted to tell her. He knew what would put her at ease. “We play with things. Kinkier aspects of sex. With the job I’m exposed to a lot of them in a very negative way but I’ve found that many are really nice, when there is trust. We used handcuffs before I was taken in Georgia. The first time we used them after, I freaked out. We talked about what freaked me out and it wasn’t brought up again. He took the cuffs we used and took them home with him. While he was out, he stopped in a leather shop for a personal reason and saw a pair of leather cuffs in there. He had a pair custom made for me. The issues I had with the ones we used before were gone. We tried the new pair not long ago and I’m enjoying them more than I had the ones before.”

“That’s what it boils down to for you isn’t it? Trust. I know that it’s not something I could help and I know that your father leaving didn’t help. You trust this man with more than just your body. You let him see the real you, the one you hide behind so that others don’t see. The you that only I get to see.”

“Yes.”

“You said the first encounter was when you joined the team.” His mother paused just long enough for him to nod. “I thought that Agent Hotchner was married at that time?”

Spencer couldn’t form words. He’d been so careful. He just stared at her with his mouth wide open. He wasn’t going to deny it. She was like a lie detector. She would know full well if he lied.

“He was married at the time.”

“I thought that I raised you better than that, Spencer.” She sounded more disappointed in him than she had ever been. It cut like a knife through his heart. He lifted his hand and rubbed at his chest, trying to remove the pain.

“I may have been a little naïve about agreeing to sex the first time but he swore that his wife was okay with it and I took him at his word. He was in more a position to lose things than I was. I was the newest member of the team and he was at the time the second in command on the team. If he’d been lying, I could have ruined him and he knew it and I knew it. The first chance that he had, he took me to talk to his wife. I’ll not break too many confidences here but I hate that you think I would sleep with a married man so callously.”

“Then explain it to me, Spencer.”

“Hotch’s life growing wasn’t great. I really don’t think that anyone on the team outside of maybe JJ had a good life before. He’s never gone into too many details even with me but his father wasn’t a good man. It wasn’t until after college that he said he figured out he was bisexual. I think it has more to do with the fact that he felt safe admitting it then. With the stress of college and I assume the bar exam, he got a little rough with Haley one night. I don’t think he hurt her but she didn’t like it, mentally. I’ve talked with her a great deal over the years and she’s exactly like he said in our first talk. Prim, proper, and fragile. She’s a wonderful mother to their son Jack but she’s…fragile is many other ways.”

“I see. And how did you two come about this arrangement?”

“Hotch had someone else that he was having sex with before but he’d moved from the area. Hotch and Haley’s agreement was that he had to tell her, before or after each encounter, that it’s never with a paid sex worker, and that it’s always with a man. Given our job, Hotch couldn’t exactly be seen out trying to pick up guys in the bar.”

“And why did he try to start something with you?”

“He’s never given me a straight answer on that. I think to start it was my youth and my views on sex in general. The job at the BAU takes a very open mind. Growing up here in Vegas, I have a mind a little more open than most to open marriages and the like.” Spencer’s eyes went back to the window. To the brightness that no matter how dark it got was always there. “Haley never even brought up the arrangement in the divorce. She could have. Of course by that time she had been cheating on him without his consent or knowledge.”

“She sounds like she wasn’t ready for a marriage with him.”

“I’ve not talked to Hotch about it much but she married Hotch when he was a lawyer. She probably saw him becoming a judge or joining a big law firm, possibly even him going into politics. She didn’t marry an FBI agent.”

“And young Jack? How often does Hotch see him?”

“As often as he can but not as much as he would like.”

“As it should be. He sounds like a good father. Every parent should feel they don’t see their children enough, even if they see them every day.”

Spencer bowed his head. He knew that he didn’t get to see her as much as she would like.

“That wasn’t a comment on you, Spencer. We have our own issues. And you are an adult. Jack is what? Three?”

“Yes.”

Noise had Spencer looking up. His mom was coming across the room; she sat down on the rollaway beside him.

“You mentioned handcuffs and kinks. You are safe yes?”

“Yes. He’s never hurt me on purpose. When I had the freak-out with the cuffs, he let me go as soon as I said my safeword. I think he was moving to let me go before I said it. If I wanted to end it, we’d stop. If he wanted to end it, we’d stop. He’s a good man. Our arrangement is what I can deal with right now. I was there for the aftermath of Haley demanding that Hotch leave his job. I can’t do that. I won’t do that.”

“Of course not. Whoever you end up with had better understand that, or I’ll scratch their eyes out!”

Spencer couldn’t help but start laughing as she said what had become her line here at Bennington. She’d only actually tried it with one nurse, who had tried to steal one of her books.

“You’ve always done things your way Spencer and I see that whatever you call this relationship you have with your boss has helped you. You are your own man as I tried to make sure that you were. It’s not harming you, or your man. I give my blessing.”

His mom kissed the side of his head and pulled him into a hug. He looked at the time. It was long past when he should have gone to bed but he wanted to spend more time with his mom. She was lucid and good. No matter the reason he was out in Vegas, he was happy for this time with her.


	20. Whispered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S4-Memoriam

Spencer was reading. He knew he was sitting on something but the book was so good and he didn't want to stop to figure out where he was. He knew he was in his apartment, and that was good enough for him.

Time lost all meaning as he devoured word after word in Russian. He knew that the team would be shocked to see him reading at a much slower pace, but when he wanted to read for pleasure, he was careful with each word. His finger caressed each line as he read. His eyes were slow as they moved from word to word.

It was the calluses from handling a gun on a daily basis that stopped him from reacting to the hand that had settled on his neck. When the person behind him was sure that he had Spencer's full attention an arm slipped around his waist and pulled him back. He was settled against warm clothes and moaned when a tongue traced the now prominent scar on his shoulder. It sent a shiver down his spine.

A hand grabbed the book from his lap and set it down on the seat of the chair next to him and that was when Spencer realized he wasn't sitting at his kitchen table but on it. He tried to remember how he'd done that but the maddening tongue on his shoulder and hand that was sliding into his sweatpants had him just distracted enough to where he couldn’t think on it. He felt cloth on his skin and knew it wasn’t his shirt.

“Can I fuck you here?” Hotch’s lust filled voice asked. Teeth skirted the scar and Spencer couldn’t speak. Instead, he nodded his head and tried not to squeak when he was pulled farther back from the table. For a brief few seconds, he was only supported by Hotch’s arm around his waist. He quickly untucked his legs and put his weight on them. The hand that had slid inside his pants shoved the cloth down. Heat pressed close and Spencer realized that while Hotch was wearing a shirt he wasn’t wearing pants. A hand snaked behind him and he felt nothing but skin under the edge of the shirt. He really needed to try and pay attention when he was home alone. Not only had Hotch snuck into his apartment but he’d nearly stripped naked and he hadn’t heard a word.

An already slick finger slid inside of him and he tried not to jump at the coolness of it. He spread his legs and braced himself. A hand brushed his back, just barely touching and it set Spencer shivering and then pressure between his shoulder blades had him bending over. When he was leaned over, Hotch’s hand disappeared and he allowed his hands to be drawn up one at a time to his lower back. He felt the leather close around one wrist and held steady as one finger became two. When his other wrist was enclosed, Spencer shuddered. A firm smack on his ass had him stopping his movement. He moaned though. Hotch chuckled behind him and then Spencer had three fingers inside of him. He tried to hold still but his body betrayed him and thrust back hard on the fingers. The digits pulled free and Spencer braced. He expected to be breached but instead he felt Hotch lean over him and watched as his hand towel was picked up. Hotch used it to clean his fingers up and then it was folded up, with the dirty section inside, and placed in front of Spencer’s mouth. He opened wide and Hotch shoved it in. It was more like a bit than a gag but it would muffle him all the same. Hands buckled the cuffs and then drew them up at an angle to where his fingers were brushing his shoulder blades. He felt the drape of the leather straps as the cuffs were tied together. Pressure was back between shoulder blades and he was held down. He tried to shift his hands but found that Hotch had tied the cuffs to where he couldn’t move and was holding the leather to where he couldn’t even lift them up.

“Ready?” Hotch asked, his voice just low enough to where Spencer could barely hear him over the beat of his own heart. He nodded and exhaled through his nose as he felt the breach. Hotch slid inside of him, not stopping until thighs were pressed together. Spencer closed his eyes in bliss as cock was pulled out of him and then slammed back in. He heard the table move but couldn’t do a thing to stop it. He was well and truly trapped with no way to escape. Every single thrust of length inside of him pushed him higher and higher up. With the gag to muffle him, he begged and pleaded to be fucked. All the things he never said when he wasn’t gagged. He knew that Hotch could at least understand some of the words but he didn’t care.

One harder thrust had Spencer biting down on the towel as hard as he could. He kept his eyes closed tight and tried to hold on. He felt so close. He wanted to come but something was holding him back. He wasn’t prepared for the hand that threaded itself through his hair in a near calming gesture before gripping tight and pulling his head back. He groaned into his gag as the hand on his shoulders left and snaked down his back then around his hip. The hand gripped the flesh of his hip so tightly that he knew it would bruise and then Hotch was fucking into him harder and harder. All he could feel was the pain on his scalp, the pressure of the cuffs on his wrists, and the hard cock slamming into him again and again. He was floating on a high when he felt Hotch’s thighs slam into him. He heard the telltale groan of the other man’s orgasm then his hair was released. His cock was hanging heavy between his legs. Hotch had never not gotten him off and for a second he was worried.

“Settle, Reid.” The hand that had been holding his hip was rubbing at his side and Spencer heard the distressed sounds he was making. Hotch slid out from inside of him and then was helping him stand up. He expected to feel a hand on his cock, jerking him off but instead he was turned and the gag ripped from his mouth. Hand on his hip and in his hair stopped him from moving as Hotch’s mouth claimed his. Teeth clicked together as he was roughly kissed and he figured that one of them was going to have a split lip. The hand on his hip slipped back and he felt something at his hole. He moaned and came as the plug slid home inside of him.

Hotch held him through his shudders, and he slumped down onto the older man. His hands were released and fingers rubbed away the ache in his shoulders and returned feeling to hands.

“Dinner will be here in a few minutes. I ordered Italian. That place a few blocks away. Hungry?”

“Yes.” Spencer tried to stand on his own but his legs were still a little wobbly. Hotch laughed and pushed him to sit on the table. The plug shifted inside him and he groaned. Hotch disappeared down the hall and came back a few minutes later with a wet hand towel. He handed it to Spencer who cleaned himself up as he watched Hotch get dressed. The man hadn’t taken off his shirt while fucking him. The man left his boxers off and just slipped his pants on, pulling the belt out of the loops. Spencer found his sweatpants and slipped them back on, looking for the shirt that he knew he had brought out to the living room with him.

Sudden blindness had Spencer reaching up and finding the shirt had been dropped on his head. When he could see again, he glared at Hotch as a knock sounded at the door. Spencer grabbed his wallet after slipping the shirt on and opened the door. He handed the bags back to Hotch and paid the delivery boy.

“Hungry tonight, Doctor Reid?”

“No, Jimmy. Working on some case files with a coworker. We decided to order in instead of stopping to go out and eat.”

“Awesome. Have a good night.” Jimmy waved and turned, stuffing his tip in his pants pocket and jogging down the hall to the stairs. Jimmy took the stairs three at a time and had ever since Spencer had known him. When he turned after shutting the door, Hotch had the food spread out on his coffee table. He marveled at how easy it all was.

Sitting down, Spencer felt the plug shift and tried to find a position that wouldn't have him hard halfway through the meal.

"So exactly how long were you in here, before you accosted me?" Spencer asked as Hotch handed over a container with ravioli in it. When Hotch leaned back he set down a bag with bread sticks in it.

"Long enough to get the lube and plug from the bathroom. And strip mostly naked. I wasn't exactly being silent either. When I said your name and you didn't answer, it didn't take me long to find you. I couldn't resist. Fucking over a table was a fantasy of mine.”

“I’m not going to be able to eat there without blushing for at least two weeks.” He knew that every single time he sat down at the table to eat, he’d remember what Hotch had done to him. He thought about how it was the first time that Hotch had cuffed him without asking, too.

“Is that what you did with the couch?”

“After the first time yes, any others. No.”

Silence fell as they finished eating. It wasn’t uncomfortable. It was just silence. Spencer cleaned up their things and when he came back into the living room he was shocked when he was pulled onto Hotch’s lap, his very naked lap at that. He'd stripped while Spencer had been cleaning up. The man’s hand worked its way down into the back of his pants and brushed the edge of the plug. Spencer tried to shift away but a hand on the back of his head stopped him. His shirt was pulled off of him.

“I feel like playing and you…you look like you need played with.” Hotch pulled him close and started to kiss him. The hand on the back of his neck started to wander all around his chest and back while the hand in his pants stayed there, playing with the plug. Spencer shifted to where he was fully supported by his legs and then started to let his own hands wander. All the while their lips never parted.

A hand coaxed him to stretch up and only then did Spencer pull his lips away from Hotch’s. Head bent, a bruise was sucked into his skin and he gasped and braced himself better with a hand on the back of the couch and one on the back of Hotch’s head. Teeth scraped at the bottom edge of his belly and he couldn’t hold in the shudder.

Hotch rested his head on his belly. “Fuck, I need to be in you again.” A tongue laved at his navel and then he was pushed back as his pants were pulled down. “On the floor, naked. Ass up.”

Spencer smiled as he shifted off the older man’s lap, pulling his pants the rest of the way off. Instead of just getting up, he slid down Hotch’s front his teeth grazing neck and then collarbone, nipple, navel, then he just skirted crotch to let his tongue trace down his thigh to knee. The growl from Hotch told him that he knew exactly what he was doing. So he went back to hip and licked there. A hand in his hair stopped his face from moving but he hadn’t planned on moving at all. He felt Hotch move, then the sound of his coffee table being shoved over. Before he could even try and turn his head a little to see, Spencer felt himself being drawn backward. A hand on his chest pushed him back quicker than he would have liked but Hotch settled over him.

“I only wiped up, I didn’t clean myself so keep your mouth away from my dick.”

Spencer nodded and groaned as Hotch started a lazy thrusting of their cocks together. Every single time that he was pushed down, the plug moved in him. Hotch just stared down at him and looked at his face, after nearly a minute, Spencer had to close his eyes, he couldn’t take the look in Hotch’s eyes.

“Roll over.” Hotch lifted slightly and Spencer did as he asked. He settled onto his stomach on the rug he’d bought. Right now he was thankful for it because this would suck on a hardwood floor. He was pulled to his knees and then felt fingers at his hole. He was hard and while it was impossible he swore he hardened more when the plug was pulled from him.

Hotch was the perfect distraction from him. From the thoughts of his past that threatened to creep into his mind. He didn't have to wait long until he was filled. One of Hotch's hands settled on his hip while the other trailed up his back to grab his shoulder, pulling him back onto Hotch, harder and harder with each thrust. He dropped to his elbows and let his head rest on his crossed arms. Hotch shoved into him harder and harder and it pushed him ever so closer to orgasm. He wanted to come but that would mean shifting to grab his cock. He wanted this angle. The hand on his shoulder traveled down his arm while the one on his hip moved up. He wasn't prepared for Hotch to lean over him and pull his arms out from under him. His head never cracked off the floor though.

Instead his arms were pulled behind him and used as a lever. It changed the angle that Hotch was penetrating him at and he shuddered as he was pulled back onto Hotch's cock time and again. He felt bound but he wasn't. He couldn't relax and he couldn't get away. Instead he just felt owned. One hard final shove had Spencer coming. He hissed his completion out and he could tell that Hotch had come too. One of his hands was released and he braced himself on the floor before the other was released. There was a sound that Spencer couldn't place and then Hotch was pulling out of him. He moved to lean down on to the floor when he felt something press at his hole. He looked back to see Hotch pushing the plug back into him. He shuddered at the physical feeling as well as the mental thought that Hotch had fucked him twice and his release from both times was inside of him now, trapped. When the plug was shoved all the way in he collapsed down onto the rug, missing the wet spot and just laid there.

Hotch was giving him a smug look but he leaned over and wiped at the wet spot on the floor with what looked like a baby wipe. He saw a pack of them on the coffee table and knew that they hadn't been there earlier in the evening and that meant that Hotch must have brought them.

"So how many times are you going to fuck me and plug me?" Spencer asked as he watched Hotch use a baby wipe on himself.

"As many times as I can get it up for." Hotch tossed the baby wipe into one of the containers from their dinner before he settled in behind Spencer. "The thought of me being trapped in you is arousing." Hotch's hand traveled down his side and pulled on one of his cheeks, moving the plug.

Spencer slapped his hand away and the older man chuckled in his ear. Because of the little sleep he got during what turned out to be basically back to back cases, Spencer was tired. He shifted when he felt a hand under his head and the hand turned into an arm and when it didn't move anymore, he laid his head on it.

"Sleep, Reid. I'll be right here," Hotch whispered in his ear. He let himself go, falling into the slumber his body wanted so badly.

It was hours later by the clock he could barely make out on the wall above his head. His glasses were gone and he had no clue where they were. Spencer wondered for a few seconds if Hotch was awake or not but the hand on hip shifted and then a finger was rubbing up and down his hipbone. His head was still on Hotch's arm and he didn't want to move except he could feel himself starting to ache from sleeping on the floor. It was a lovely rug, it just wasn't meant for sleeping on.

Hotch shifted at his back and Spencer was shocked to find that the other man was hard again. He thrust back into him and the man went from rubbing at his hip to holding it still.

"Be careful there."

"Why?" Spencer asked. He thrust again, and Hotch gripped him even tighter and then thrust back, hard. His cock brushed against the plug and Spencer groaned at the sensation. He rolled onto his front dislodging Hotch's hand and wiggled his butt in what he hoped was an inviting fashion. He knew that he needed to talk to someone about what happened but his go to person was his mom and there was no way he was bringing it up with her.

"Oh, ready for another round?" Hotch asked. He moved his hand down from hip, after rolling him back onto his side, onto cock and started to stroke. Spencer raised his leg a little and draped it up on Hotch's to give him better access. "Been doing research again?"

"No," Spencer said as he shook his head. "Just letting go. Not thinking, not over thinking things. Doing what feels good."

The cock pressed against his ass twitched and Spencer moaned. He was just on the side of sleepy that he was kind of afraid of what he might let slip but he didn't care. He reached back and gripped Hotch's ass to pull him in tighter.

"I'm too old for a second round on the floor so up and into the bedroom." Hotch released him and Spencer got to his feet, stretching out the last few kinks in his body. He could feel the eyes on him so he felt daring enough to bend down like he was going to touch his toes. He knew that Hotch would see him all, his crack, the plug and that was what he wanted. He only moved when he heard Hotch start to move. He started towards the bedroom only to be shoved into the wall in the hallway. Hotch's tongue was at his neck, opposite side from the scar. His hands were sliding up his body. They continued up to his hands and stretched them up above his head. He waited to see what Hotch wanted. He didn't have to wait long, The plug shifted and Spencer didn't hold back the shudder as it brushed against his prostate. Hotch's wicked chuckle in his ear told him that he was meaning to do it.

Dropping his hands, Spencer shoved against the wall, pushing both him and Hotch back. He kept the momentum and only stopped when Hotch landed against the opposite wall. He turned and molded himself against the older man. He went right for his neck and licked. Hotch stayed passive, letting Spencer have his fun, kissing, licking, and biting everywhere that he wanted along his upper chest. A hand settled on his head, not guiding him just resting there. He dropped to his knees, stroking the cock at head level with his hand, never going near it with his mouth. Thighs, hips, and stomach were in his purview though. He enjoyed this. Hotch always seemed to like doing it to him and he could see why. Hearing the gasps, moans, and pleas that fell from the mouth of the man he was driving crazy. The cock in his hand was hot and heavy and he wanted it in his mouth but there was no way that he was going to. The thought though of sucking it, having it in his mouth had him close.

"Fuck. Up. Up." Hotch's hand on his head pulled and he went willingly. "Are you close?"

"Yes," Spencer said as hands settled on his thighs and then lifted. Hotch moved as he lifted and then Spencer had his back against the wall again. He thought that Hotch was going to pull the plug and fuck him but instead he just fucked him with the plug. His legs wrapped around the man's waist, totally supported by him, Spencer let his head thump back into the wall. It only took a few more thrusts of the plug and then he was tightening his legs around Hotch. He came all over both of them.

"You look so good when you come. Like it's the best thing in the world." Hotch's voice was hot in his ear. "Maybe we should do some research. Figure out which orgasm you look better from."

"What are the variables?" Spencer asked as he tried not to pant too hard. Hotch helped him get settled on his legs and turned him. He'd come but he still wanted fucked. He wanted more of Hotch inside of him. The shock of the plug being pulled from him and then barely a second later, Hotch filling him was sudden. He hadn’t realized that he was all that close to him.

“Well there is me fucking you.” Thrust. “Me sucking you.” Harder thrust. “You plugged sucking me off.” A shallow thrust that raked over his prostate. Spencer pushed back on that one. “Just the plug.” The thrusts picked up and Spencer knew that Hotch was chasing his orgasm. He wasn’t shocked when the man thrust into him one final time, taking him totally up into the wall. His orgasm was silent. “We can always then throw in bound, gagged, and so many other things.”

“Sounds like that will take a long time.”

“Ages.” Hotch pulled out slowly and the plug was right back there. There was an odd thought about exactly how many times Hotch could come in him before the act of plugging him would hurt. He pushed that away as it was getting him aroused again and he needed more sleep before thinking science thoughts. “Let’s get you down into bed.”

“Uh, messy,” Spencer protested.

“We can towel off a little. I want at least one more round before we shower.”

Spencer tried not to think about what he had to smell like. He tried to remember if he had put on deodorant again after getting back to Virginia. He was getting tired again. He needed to make up sleep from missing the case and fucking with Hotch all night was not going to get it for him. But there were other rewards. He hadn’t had a nightmare so far. True he hadn’t been asleep long but it had been dream free. If sleeping in the same bed as Hotch got rid of nightmares for at least a night, he would take it.

Stumbling into the bathroom, he grabbed a rag and wet it. He wiped himself down and then rinsed it off before handing it over to Hotch. The older man had others plans though, when Spencer passed him, he grabbed him around the waist and pulled him close.

“I can see how tired you are. I’ll let you sleep for a while, don’t worry. Just bend over the counter here and don’t move.”

Spencer wasn’t sure what he had planned but he did as asked. He felt the rag trace the edge of the plug. He braced when he felt the plug being pulled out. The rag wiped his crack first and then was gone. He wanted to see what Hotch was doing but was afraid to turn and afraid to look up into the mirror. He heard the snap of a lube cap and then a finger tracing around his hole before the plug was slid back in. Spencer just closed his eyes and breathed.

“There. Now we shouldn’t have any problems later.” Hotch helped him up and even walked him to his bed before letting him just fall face first into bed. While Hotch walked back into the bathroom, Spencer shifted over to the side of the bed that Hotch hadn’t slept on the night he’d spent the night at his superior’s place. He let himself drift off to sleep and barely realized it when Hotch slid into bed with him. He was thankful for the warmth.

The feel of cold metal at his back, the feel of air on his skin, it was all Spencer could feel. He tried to get away. He tried to fight the jocks holding him, tying him to the goalpost. One hand slipped and he almost made it between them but a hand on his shoulder shoved him down. He expected to feel the bite of dirt on his skin but all he felt was softness. Whatever he was on was giving. He looked around and then up into the face of the jock that had him pinned. The face was right but the words. The words were wrong.

“Reid. Reid. Wake up. It’s a dream. REID!” It sounded like Hotch. It wasn’t Hotch above him but it sounded like it. He felt the softness spread more and realized it was a bed. It was a dream. He tried to sit up, to open his eyes but the jock with Hotch’s voice kept him down. He pushed and pushed and was thankful that when his eyes did open, it wasn’t blinding brightness. It was only his bedroom. Hotch was leaning over him, blocking out a little bit of the light from his nightlight on the far side of the room. He knew his room though.

Gasping for air, Spencer tried to roll to his side. Hotch though wasn’t letting him. The older man was staring down at him. Eyes looking for something.

“Back with me?” Hotch asked.

Spencer nodded.

“Words, Reid. Words.”

“Yes, Hotch. I’m back,” Spencer bit out. Hotch didn’t look happy at the tone but Spencer didn’t care. “Just let me up.”

“I don’t think that I will. Morgan said you had a nightmare in the parent’s house. Something about leeches.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Spencer shoved at the arms holding him down but Hotch just shifted to sit above him, on him. “Hotch.”

“You’ve not had nightmares affect you since the L.O.D. case. So do you want to try again? This time it wasn’t leeches you were begging to be cut down. Cut down from what?”

“Hotch, please,” Spencer begged. The look on Hotch’s face almost had him cracking . He closed his eyes and tried to push it away. To talk about it all. To tell him what no one else knew. He’d never told anyone all of it. Morgan knew a piece, more than anyone else. The man above him shifted and then he felt a hand on his face and he opened his eyes to see Hotch’s face right there.

“I’ll start. I’m sorry for what I said in New York. It was callous and stupid. I wanted a fight. I wanted something and you were there and I knew exactly what to say to make you mad enough to fight back. I don’t think and have never thought that you are a whore.”

“Hotch.” Spencer didn’t know why he said his name but the look on his face was full of concern and he couldn’t do it. He tried to scramble to a sitting position but Hotch was too quick. Instead of making it off the bed, Spencer was pulled down and Hotch wrapped himself around him. Spencer gave in and relaxed on the bed. He was thankful that Hotch didn’t try and turn him around. He couldn’t look in his face. Not then.

“It’s just you and me and I promise, whatever you say goes no farther than this.” Hotch’s voice was soft in his ear and Spencer shuddered. Hotch’s hand started to rub at his chest, trying to calm him down. “Don’t hold it in anymore.”

“I know that you’ve figured out that I didn’t exactly have the best childhood, especially after dad left. I really think that the school knew what was going on at home but didn’t care.”

“What do you mean?”

“Little things that happened over my years there but it was worse my senior year. There was a girl named Samantha who said she thought I was cute.”

“How old was she?”

“A freshman, a little sister of one my classmates. She said she would meet me if I wore a blindfold.” Spencer felt how tense Hotch got. He inhaled deeply. “I met her in a classroom with a blindfold on and I sat down on a desk. She took my shirt off. I was twelve. I was so stupid. The laughter started just a minute later. I ripped the blindfold off and most of the senior class was there.”

“That’s horrible and nothing was done?”

“I ran through the school with no shirt on and no one blinked an eye. I was twelve in a school full of kids older than me and no teacher thought to stop and ask if I was fine.” Spencer curled a little more to where he wasn’t touching Hotch as much but the older man just shifted with him. Holding him tight and dipping his head down to where his lips brushed his shoulder. Could he do it? Could he tell Hotch the horrible thing he’d never told him?

“That’s why you flinch when you think I am going to blindfold you?” Hotch asked.

Spencer sighed in relief and almost started crying. He’d wondered. Given the other things that Hotch wanted to try, it was odd that blinding him wasn’t one. “Yes.”

“What else happened because that can’t be it.” Hotch’s word were once again steady and calm but Spencer could hear anger in them.

“Middle of December senior year, I was in the library and one of my classmates Harper came to tell me that Alexa was waiting for me behind the field house. I’d been helping Alexa study for math and I thought that she might like me. She never acted like she didn’t. I went, only she wasn’t alone. The entire football team plus various other girls and boys were there. They stripped me and tied me to the goalpost. I begged to be freed. Finally they got bored and left but I was still tied up. It was after midnight before I got home and mom was in the middle of an episode and didn’t realize that I was late."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"Yes but the rope burns and rubbed raw back were not enough for the school to even act like they were going to do anything. I only had a few months left. I just had to make it until May. After that I never stayed alone anywhere and thankfully the librarian only kicked me out when practice of whatever sport was going on had started. They tried something again in May, leaving notes in my locker. I kept them all and had pictures of my back and wrists taken from that night with the football team. When I graduated, I handed them over to the police. The notes referenced what they had done to me when I wouldn't meet up with whichever girl they had set up for the sacrifice in each one. An investigation was done with an anonymous source tipping them off. Seems that the whole school had an issue with bullying and had covered up the death of a student that the jocks had tied up to the goalpost years before."

Hotch didn't say anything for a long time. Instead he just ran his hands all over whatever part of Spencer's body he could reach. It felt nice. He laid there and relished in the touches, feeling himself calming as the older man touched him and touched him. He rolled onto his back when directed and settled down. He kept his eyes closed because it made each touch feel even better. He wasn't sure when the touches went from calming to arousing but he didn't even notice until hot air ghosted over his cock. He thrust up a little and heard Hotch's chuckle. He realized then as well that he was hard.

"What do you want?" Hotch whispered in his ear as his body draped over his own. Nose turned into his neck and he felt the subtle pull of air. "You smell like sex, sweat, and me."

Spencer couldn’t hold back the gasp at his words. "Fuck me." Spencer wanted that release. Maybe he could float a while on it.

"Like this or do you want to use the new toy in the corner that I see. Keep your eyes closed."

Spencer closed his eyes and brought up the memory of the wedge pillow he'd bought. He'd found it while doing a little research into sex toys. It was a royal blue that matched his gag perfectly. He'd read a great many reviews by male couples and opposite sex couples that loved it. He figured that it wouldn't be a bad thing to add to their toys.

"Wedge."

"Stay." Hotch pressed down on his hips, to make sure he understood. He heard his padding over to the other side of the room. Then the sound of feet came back. He felt the gust of wind from the wedge being dropped on the bed and fought to keep his eyes closed. "I know how I want to fuck you on this."

Spencer groaned and squeezed his eyes tighter because if he didn't he was going to look.

"Roll over," Hotch said as he helped direct him onto it. His ass was up in the air at an angle that was hard to reach on hands and knees. He shuddered as he thought about how Hotch liked the look of the gag's blue on his skin. How did he look with the blue on either side of his hips and between his legs? He was shocked that the cuffs weren't blue. A hand on his ass cheek startled him but all Hotch did was carefully pull the plug out of him.

Instead of slipping inside of him, Hotch moved down the bed. He heard him get up and move towards the bathroom. He heard water run and then sounds of the plug being washed off. Spencer let his entire body go slack and he dropped his head onto the pillow in front of him. Hotch made barely any noise as he moved back towards him but Spencer heard him anyway. He felt a hot, wet, rag slide up and down his crack. He expected his hole to hurt but it didn't. He missed the plug inside of him and wanted Hotch inside of him again.

"Please," Spencer begged. He wiggled his ass and he wasn't prepared for the light smack on his ass. He fisted his hands in the sheets to stop himself from rolling around to shove Hotch onto the bed and ride him. They'd only done that once that wasn't on the couch. It had been wonderful. There were things that they'd done he loved to do and there were things he was okay with doing if Hotch wanted to do them again. There wasn't a single thing that they had done that he never wanted to do again.

Hotch straddled him and his cock slid between his ass cheeks. Not inside of him, just taunting him. With each of Hotch's thrusts his cock was rubbing on the soft cover of the wedge and he was moaning. After letting go of the sheets, Spencer reached back and pulled on Hotch's thighs to get him even closer.

"What do you want, Reid?" Hotch asked as he grabbed his hands and leaned up with them, pressing them into the bed above his head. "I want hear you say it."

"Fuck me."

Hotch released his hands and leaned back up. He felt a hand hold him open and the other was barely brushing at his hole.

"Do you want me in you?" A thumb pressed at the top of his hole and Spencer shuddered.

"Yes. Please. I need you inside me." Spencer was rewarded with the slow slide of Hotch's cock inside of him. He went in deeper and Spencer couldn't help the curse that escaped his mouth. "Fuck."

"That's what we are doing. Relax," Hotch said as his hand traveled down Reid's back. The soft touching was back and Spencer couldn't help but relax into it, even with Hotch thrusting inside of him. The touches continued up and down his sides before Hotch curled a hand at his hip and then leaned over him. That changed the angle of the thrusts again and Spencer’s toes curled. It felt so good that he was speechless. He was so close already.

With Hotch draped at his back, Spencer felt trapped but safe. He felt like Hotch was grounding him and wasn’t going to let him up. The thought that he was trapped didn’t scare him. It excited him. A shift again and Hotch was reaching for his hands. Spencer let him have them only to have the man thread their fingers and then press them into the bed.

“You are mine and I’m not letting you go, Reid. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you like that again.” Hotch’s voice was hot on his ear and the words tipped Spencer over. He gasped his release. The older man’s pace didn’t pick up. Spencer was coasting on the high from his orgasm and he barely paid attention as the cock slide in and out of his ass. He only noticed when it stopped. Hotch’s breath hot in his ear. The body on his didn’t leave him. It settled hot and heavy along his back and Spencer released the last bit of mental tension he had. He felt so tired and he needed to sleep. He was too tired to care about anything so when hands forced him up, he went with them.

The hands pushed at him until he was inside the shower and he felt the spray of cool water hit his skin where it was bouncing up from the floor. When he felt the warmth of the water radiate out, he couldn’t help but move towards it. There were no hands to help steady him and he stood there and just let the water cascade over him. Spencer wondered briefly where Hotch was.

Several minutes later, the door to the shower was opening and Spencer cracked an eye to see a naked Hotch slipping in with him. An arm settled around his waist and pulled him close.

“Did I fuck you brainless?”

Spencer didn’t verbally answer, he just smiled. He relaxed into the strong arms and he was shocked when Hotch started to clean him. He wanted to pull away but he had no energy to do so. It felt good. Hotch’s hands on his body. It wasn’t arousing, it was soothing and Spencer was barely conscious as the water was shut off and they slipped out of the shower together. He was settled on the toilet and toweled dry.

Slipping into bed, Spencer sighed as the blankets were pulled up over him.

“You alarm is set and we don’t have work today so please sleep until it goes off.”

“K, Hotch,” Spencer murmured. That evoked a laugh from Hotch. Closing his eyes, Spencer felt himself slipping farther and farther into sleep. The bed dipped as Hotch got up but he didn’t hear retreating footsteps. Instead, he felt hot breath on his hairline as a kiss was placed there. The sound of footsteps moving away sounded.

The bedroom door opened and Spencer let himself go the rest of the way. Hotch would lock up and make sure that he was safe. As he felt his body finally give out totally, Spencer knew he had to be dreaming because there was no way that he heard what he thought he heard. There was no way the whispered “I love you,” actually came from Hotch at his doorway. There was no way in the universe that he’d heard him right. His mind was floating and he was hearing things.


	21. Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S4-52 Pick Up

Spencer let himself into his apartment and threw the card with the lipstick onto the small table just inside the door. He smiled to himself, thinking about Austin and how she was doing a lot better after her ordeal. His bag went onto the coat rack. He was still smiling from the call from Austin and he was truly happy for her. Morgan had tried to hint that he was attracted to her. He liked her and it had been fun to flirt with her, but they both knew that was all that it was. He pulled his gun from his holster to lock it up, and realized that the light in the kitchen that he always left on was off. He'd changed it out for one of the long lasting bulbs just two months before and there was no way that it should have been out. The dead bolt had been latched, the knob locked. There had been no indication that someone had picked it. He brought up the image of the lobby and the security guard had been there. The only thing that had been out of place was the look on the man's face. He looked kind of smug. 

While he tried to place the look, Spencer cocked his revolver to figure out exactly who was in his place. He could see enough with the light from outside that he knew that no one was in the living room. He listened, trying to hear anything that was out of place in the apartment. There was nothing so he moved towards the kitchen, wondering why someone would take out the light. If anyone had actually cased the place, they would know that someone moving around at odd hours was normal. The light being out was going to draw more attention than anything else. He stepped into the kitchen area and only had a two second warning of a whisper of cloth on cloth before he felt someone behind him. His gun hand was grabbed and a finger slipped behind the trigger so he couldn't pull it. Another hand wrapped around his other wrist and his arm was drawn up and behind him. The only thing that had him not screaming out and trying to hurt the man was the scent of his cologne. 

Still he didn't open his mouth to say a single thing. Shock factor was what was wanted there and he was more than willing to give it. The gun was a lost cause. There was no way for him to keep it and it not go off so he let go of it. It shocked Hotch so much that he was able to get his arm totally free of the man and then over to untangle his wrist from the older man's other hand. It brought him a step back into Hotch's body more and he could feel how hard he was. 

"You could have been hurt, Hotch. What the hell would you have done if the gun had discharged and we had to explain it to the cops?" 

"I didn't move until I was sure that I could properly disarm you." Hotch's hand set the gun down on the counter to the side. "What are you up for?"

"What do you want? I'm feeling up for pretty much anything." Spencer grabbed Hotch's hand in a different grip and brought it around his body to show him that while he wasn't fully hard, he was getting there. 

"No. I asked first. What are you up for?" Hotch's hand worked at his buckle. There was something in his voice and Spencer wasn't sure what it was. They'd gotten back two days before from a case in Ohio, it had been pretty simple and hadn't been stressful enough to warrant something like what he could feel that Hotch wanted. There was an edge to the way he was holding himself and how he was speaking. He wanted to defuse that edge but not take it away completely. Spencer reached behind himself, working on gettings Hotch's pants undone and open. 

"Can I suck your cock?" Spencer asked. 

"Strip." Hotch stepped back from him and Spencer started to strip, not turning around to face him. He heard the sound of Hotch at least taking off his jacket. Then there was soft padding as Hotch moved towards the door. The sounds of the locks engaging settled Spencer a little as he stripped. It wasn't just the regular lock but the deadbolt and the chain as well. Spencer figured that they would be heading towards the bedroom since Hotch had locked up. He tossed his clothes over the chair in the corner by the open end of the bookshelves and kicked his shoes off to where his eyes had adjusted enough to see Hotch's shiny dress shoes. He felt a hand in his hair before he even registered that Hotch had moved. "I have a new toy that I think I want to try."

"Yes?" Spencer tried to rack his brain for what he could have brought with him. Hotch had left over an hour before him from the office and there were a lot of places he could have stopped or he could have even driven right over and started setting up whatever he wanted. The smug look on the security guard's face flashed in his mind and he cringed a little. The guard knew that he and Hotch were fucking. He hoped the man never saw them on the news. 

"Are you okay staying in the dark for right now?" The hand in his hair tightened and Spencer kept the groan internal but he wanted to shiver. He could feel cloth at his back but he knew that Hotch had opened up his shirt. He wasn't sure what was coming next so the hand on his hip startled him. There was something soft that was between his skin and Hotch's fingers as the digits skirted over his skin. He fought back the urge to lift the hand to feel it. 

"Yes."

"Good. Your new toy matches your wedge and gag."

"My new toy? Are you sure it's not your toy?" Spencer felt the hand wrap around him and he was fully hard before the hand clenched around him made a full pass up and down. 

"I guess that depends." The hand in his hair let go and nails trailed down his neck to his collarbone. There the nails dug in and all he could do was relax back into Hotch. The older man braced him up. The nails skirted his nipple and continued down. He groaned as whatever it was that Hotch was holding was wrapped around his cock. 

"Hotch?" Spencer asked and started to reach out for the kitchen light. Before he reached it, the sound of a snap echoed around the room. He stopped as the pressure around the base of his cock tightened just a bit more with the snap. It had to be a cock ring and it didn't feel like rubber. Hotch reached out and pulled his arm back in from the light switch and had him feel all around his cock. It was leather and given that it matched his pillow and gag, that meant it was blue, royal blue. "From that shop you like?"

"Yes. Don't want you shooting off like a rocket this time while you’re sucking my cock."

"That only happened once and that was when I..."

"Had a plug in your ass." Hotch's breath ghosted over his neck and he didn't contain the shiver that time. "I've got that on the coffee table."

Spencer looked over to where the man was talking about and saw the bag there that the used plugs lived in. There was lube sitting beside it. The light from outside was the only light in the room still, but it was just enough for him to see the items. His couch had been moved as well. Just a few feet over but now the center of the couch was in the space where a great deal of light was coming in from outside. He was excited for that in a way that he never would have been before. 

"I want to watch you finger yourself open and then I'll help you plug yourself." Hotch's hand moved back to pump his cock and Spencer went weak in the knees. The hand was pulled away and then he was shoved towards the couch. It wasn't a hard shove but Spencer could tell the older man was still on edge. Something had happened to set him on edge. He didn't even try and think about what it was. Instead he moved towards where Hotch obviously wanted him. The coffee table was off to the side, in reach but not blocking the window at all. It was a full moon outside and it shone in brightly on the rug in front of the couch. 

Spencer grabbed the lube as he dropped to his knees in front of the couch, facing the window. He wasn't sure he could do it. The last time he'd done something like it, Hotch had been drunk. It had been about diffusing the situation and keeping himself from feeling like a predator. He could see the way the moonlight was shining on his pale skin and wondered if that was why Hotch chose there for the display.

Snapping open the lube Spencer tried to blank his mind. He could feel how hot his cheeks were already and didn't want to add to it. He bit his lip to keep silent as he slid the first finger inside himself. He closed his eyes and tried to think about anything except the eyes that were watching him. He was painfully hard and knowing the cock ring was going to keep him that way had him feeling even more aroused than normal. 

"Quit biting your lip," Hotch said. His voice sounded husky and deep. Not seeing the man made Spencer feel everything more. The sound of movement had Spencer pausing as he went to add a second finger. When the movement stopped he slid his fingers back inside. He brought up the image of Hotch on the couch with his shirt unbuttoned and pants still on, rubbing at himself through the cloth. He could have come right there if it wasn't for the ring. 

Movement sounded again but he didn't stop this time. He was almost ready for a third finger. Warmth settled in at his back and an arm around his chest. A hand wrapped around his hand at his ass and then a finger slid inside him, right along his own. 

"Hotch," Spencer moaned. He felt heat along one of his cheeks and that meant Hotch had his cock out already. 

"I want to hear you. Don't muffle yourself." Hotch's finger alongside his own opened him up quickly. He wanted something inside of him and if Hotch didn't get the plug in him soon, he'd tip the older man backwards and ride him. Hotch's hand pressed his fingers further inside and then he felt another slipping in beside his and Hotch's. The arm wrapped around his chest shifted and then he felt fingers closer around the upper part of his neck, holding him in place. Hotch's second finger eased inside of him and Spencer let his mouth drop open so he could pant. 

When all four were inside him, Hotch crooked his, forcing Spencer's to move and his knuckles brushed his prostate. Spencer surrendered to what he wanted him to do. 

"Please." Spencer didn't care what happened as long as something happened. The hand left his ass, pulling his fingers free at the same time and then seconds later something blunt was there. It wasn't the size of the plug he was used to. It was the middle one. They'd never gone past the first size. Hotch was gentle as he pushed the object into him. It wasn't long before the last bit pushed inside and then he was being pulled back into Hotch's warm body. The plug shifted inside of him and it was a sweet torture, knowing that he wouldn't be coming until the cock ring was pulled off him. 

Hotch's warmth left him and he moved to see where the man was going. He settled on the couch with his legs spread. His superior crooked a finger to call him over. Spencer stood up and moved over towards the couch before he sunk back down on to his knees. There was a light in Hotch's eyes that told Spencer that he knew exactly why he'd done what he did. 

A thumb traced his lips before he dipped his head just enough to take it in his mouth. The digit pushed farther past his lips and Spencer swiped his tongue over it. 

"Close your eyes," Hotch whispered and Spencer did as he asked. The thumb pulled from his mouth and he tried to tip downwards but a hand in his hair stopped him. "Stay."

Spencer listened as Hotch shifted on the couch a little and then he felt two hands on him, both slightly damp. He'd cleaned his hands with something. His own hands were brought up and cleaned. He couldn't place the smell of whatever kind of wipe was used. Hotch pulled him in for a kiss. He kept his eyes closed. He felt the older man shift closer to him as he deepened the kiss. Their only points of contact were lips, hands, and where Hotch's knees pressed into his sides to hold him in place. 

"Eyes closed the whole time," Hotch said as he pulled out of the kiss. His hands were dropped and one settled in his hair. "Still want to suck my cock?"

Spencer nodded, afraid that if he opened his mouth he would beg. Hotch chuckled and let his hands go. One of his hands settled in his hair and helped guide him down. He took as much of him inside as he could fit. With his eyes closed it all felt heightened. He wanted to be bold enough to try this with a blindfold. To let Hotch fuck his mouth with his cock while he was unable to see. He could rip the blindfold off but he wouldn't. The hand in his hair tightened and Spencer stopped moving. Only the tip of the cock was left in his mouth. He licked at the slit and Hotch groaned. 

"Hands behind your back. If I see them move forward, I'll pull out. Nod if you understand." Hotch's voice was rough. Spencer nodded and tightened his eyes shut even more. He shifted his hands behind his back and linked his fingers. The cock eased back inside of his mouth going to the back. He swallowed and let himself relax. It's what he wanted. The last time that he'd taken Hotch's cock all the way back, he'd nearly been able to take it all the way. His jaw had ended up hurting and it was what had stopped them. It had excited the older man and he'd fucked him harder than he had in awhile. He was thankful for the ring around his cock, stopping him from coming. Even now the feel of the cock in his mouth had his orgasm wanting to crest. He was so hard he was aching and still he wanted more. 

The older man shifted. Spencer tried to accommodate him but his hair was pulled harder and he stopped. He moaned at the sensation and Hotch slid even further into his mouth. He was all the way in. Spencer could feel the coarse hairs at the base of Hotch's cock mashed into his nose. All he could smell was the musk of Hotch. All he could taste the saltiness of release that was leaking from the cock. All he could feel was the smoothness of the cock on his tongue. All he could hear was his own heart beating a staccato rhythm in his chest. And the blackness that he could see wasn't bothering him anymore. 

The rhythm of in and out that Hotch's cock was sticking to allowed him to focus on making it feel good for him. Sucking as he pushed in and tightening his lips and using his tongue to push hard as he pulled out. It was perfect and he never wanted it to end. But he knew it had to and when he felt the rhythm falter and Hotch started to not push in as far, Spencer knew that he was close. He sucked even harder and tried to keep the cock in his mouth even as Hotch pulled out. The first taste of semen on his tongue had him start to swallow, even with the cock still mostly in his mouth. He didn't want to gag and he wanted the cock in there as long as possible. Hotch slumped back away from him and his hands dropped from his body. He used his mouth to get every single drop from Hotch's cock before he pulled away. He dropped back to rest on his calves while he waited. 

Hotch reached out and pulled him up by the chin to crawl into his lap, kissing him hard before delving his tongue inside his mouth. One hand kept his head in place while the other dropped to his cock, feeling how hard it was. He whimpered into the other man's mouth and his hands itched to touch but he kept them behind his back. He didn't know if he wanted to come or to keep the sweet torture of not being able to come going. 

"Do you want to open your eyes?" 

Spencer shook his head quickly. Opening his eyes would ruin it. He wanted to continue like they were. 

"Do you want handcuffed?" A nod. "Fucked?" Another nod. "Here?" Spencer shook his head that time. "Bedroom?" Nod. "Good." Hotch started to kiss him again. The hand on his cock left and it trailed back to his ass. He shuddered as he was being fucked by the plug. 

"Please," Spencer begged. He heard the wicked chuckle from the older man as he let go of the plug. The hand braced itself under his ass and then he was being lifted up as Hotch stood. He quickly wrapped his legs around the man's waist and then wrapped his arms around his neck. He gasped as it rubbed his hard cock on Hotch's stomach. 

"You are at my mercy, Reid. I'll get you off but first I want to fuck you with the plug. 

Spencer was dropped onto the bed and then shoved back. The pillows were all gone and a different sheet was on it. Hotch had been preparing while waiting for him to get home. The older man manhandled him to the center of the bed as he straddled his stomach. He wasn't able to rub his cock on him. Instead of stretching his hands up above his head, his left was taken towards the left side of the bed. He felt the cuff encircle his wrist and then it was locked in place before the same was done to the right. Hotch sat up and as he did he trailed his hand down Spencer's arm before caressing his neck and settling his thumb on his bottom lip. 

"Can't unlock them now can you?" Hotch asked as he slid backwards. His ass dragged against his cock and he hissed out in pleasure. He tugged on the cuffs and found that he could move them, Hotch had given him what seemed like a good bit of slack. He just couldn't touch the one hand with the other. The older man got up off the bed and Spencer listened with wide open ears to hear what he was doing. He heard the rustle of clothes and the sound of the closet opening. He could picture Hotch getting into the bag that was at the back. There was no way to tell what he took from the bag so he would just have to wait or peek. Whatever it was it was dropped above his head as Hotch got back on the bed. "Spread."

Dropping his legs open, Spencer cried out as Hotch pulled the plug nearly all the way out before he pushed it back in. One of his legs was drawn up to where Hotch had perfect access to the plug. He could only lie there and writhe as he was fucked with it and his cock never touched. He was living on a precipice of pain/pleasure. He was sure that if Hotch removed the cock ring he'd come and pass out in seconds but the older man just kept playing with him. 

Spencer used his grip on the leather rope leading from the cuffs to the bed to try and pull away from the older man. He just needed a few seconds reprieve from the onslaught. Hotch just followed him up the bed to where he had nowhere else he could go. 

"There is nowhere else you can go, Doctor." Hotch's voice was soft but Spencer slumped down into the bed, giving up trying to get away. His leg was draped over Hotch's shoulder and then he felt a hand on his cock. It pumped him once before dropping down to the leather. He felt the subtle tug like it was being unsnapped but then it stopped. He cried out again. 

"Please, Hotch."

"Please what?"

"Let me come. Please. Oh fuck please."

"Beg more." Hotch let go of the leather and Spencer whined.

"Please." He tried to use the leg over Hotch's shoulder to bring him closer but it wasn't working. The other leg was trapped at the knee by Hotch's free hand. "Let me come. I need...please. Please. Please." There was only a single way that he could move on the bed and that was to press down to push the plug into him farther. He felt like he could come with the ring still on as he used the mattress to press the plug in and out of him with the up and down of his hips. 

"Fuck," Hotch said before his hand let go of Spencer's knee and then moved to the plug. The other hand gripped the leather and pulled. The cock ring snapped off at the same time that the plug was pushed into his prostate. His entire body jerked as he came. He was certain he was screaming as Hotch's hand pumped him. When he had no more to give, he slumped into the bed into a dead limp puddle. He could feel his release all over his stomach and chest but didn't care. 

Hotch gently laid his leg down on the bed and started to rub at his sides. His chest was heaving from trying to get air into his lungs. The hot tongue on his stomach caused him to jerk his head up as he opened his eyes. He groaned as he took in the sight of Hotch licking him clean. The man had an obsession with it. He watched as the dark head came closer and closer to him. When there was only a little stripe left near his right nipple, Hotch looked up at him. The older man smiled and kept eye contact while he licked it up then surged forward to claim his mouth in a kiss. He parted his lips as soon as his mind registered the kiss. The taste of himself was strong and he could feel that Hotch was already getting hard again. 

"Do I excite you that much?" Spencer asked when Hotch pulled back. The other man didn't answer verbally. Instead he thrust down into the juncture where hip met groin. 

"Does that answer your question?" Hotch shifted on the bed and Spencer felt his leg being drawn up. Tilting his head, he looked down to see a bottle of lube being tossed on the bed before the plug was being drawn out. "I'm going to fuck you until you are hard again. Yes?"

"Yes."

"Good." Hotch leaned back down but he didn't kiss him. "Close your eyes."

Spencer closed his eyes and shivered at the tongue that licked over his Adam's apple. He wanted to touch but couldn't. It was frustrating and Spencer knew that it was why the man liked to do it. Fingers brushed at his hole but did little more than slip in then out. Hotch's cock was next. He was breached easily. There was no stretch of muscles, nothing. It felt a little like a let down. But it was more than made up for when Hotch started up a fast pace of fucking him. Every thrust jarred his body and if it wasn't for bracing his hands on the headboard, Spencer's head would have been cracking off of it. 

After a few minutes, Hotch stopped and shifted his legs over his shoulders. He wrapped an arm around his thighs to keep him in place then he leaned over, bracing himself on the bed with his free hand. 

"Hotch," Spencer moaned as it changed the angle some. 

"That's it. Tell me how it feels."

"No." Spencer shook his head back and forth. Hotch thrust into him harder but stilled. Spencer jerked on the cuffs. 

"Tell me how it feels as I push into you."

"Good. I missed the stretch this time." Hotch pulled out and pushed back in slowly. Mashing his hips into Spencer's ass, going in as far as he could. "So good. So full."

"And what do you feel when I push into your mouth?" Hotch started to fuck him again but when he didn't answer, he stilled again. He was half hard again and the thought of Hotch stopping was horrible.

"Not quite naughty. It's a thrill. You are so warm." He could do it with his eyes closed. Separate his mind from the pleasure coursing in his body. "I've become accustomed to the taste of you. The feel. I feel my mouth watering if I think about it while jerking off in the shower."

Hotch's rhythm stuttered but all he did was drop Spencer's legs and push in closer. He could feel his breath on his face but didn't open his eyes. The thrusts picked up again, harder, faster. Spencer could feel his cock was hard where it was rubbing between his stomach and the older man's. "And?"

"I feel alive when you are holding my head still and are fucking my mouth. I didn't think it could get better but taking you in all the way and the feel of my throat closing around your cock would have had me coming earlier if it hadn't been for the cock ring."

One of Hotch's hands worked between their bodies and he wondered what he was doing when he heard the snap before Hotch pushed in even farther and the groan of orgasm came from his mouth. 

"Okay, it's a new toy for both you and I."

"What?"

"The cock ring. I wouldn't have lasted that long with you if I hadn't been using it as well." Hotch pulled out of him but he didn't move away. Instead he seemed to move up and then Spencer felt cool lube on his cock. "Talk. Tell me how this feels."

Spencer wasn't sure what he was asking and then he felt something on his cock. It wasn't Hotch's hand. It was cooler but not super cold. It had to be what Hotch had tossed on the bed from the closet. At the tightness and an alien feel of what seemed like rubber, Spencer knew what it was. "Tight. Strange."

Hotch's steady hand slid the sleeve all the way down. It stayed there, fully encasing his cock for a few seconds before it started to move. 

"Does it feel better than your hand?"

"Mine? Yes. Yours? No." Spencer tried to settle on the bed but as soon as he had his legs spread in a comfortable manner, he felt fingers at his hole. Hotch stayed away from his prostate but he had four fingers inside of him. "It's not enough."

"What's not enough?" 

"Fingers. I want your cock in me. I want to be filled with it."

"Sorry. I think that was my last one." Hotch sounded like he was upset by it, too. 

The sleeve felt wonderful and he could feel himself getting close. Hotch pulled his fingers free but before he could complain, he felt a tongue lick at the head of his cock as the sleeve was on its downward stroke. He tugged on the cuffs and screamed as it happened again, this time triggering his orgasm. Hotch milked every single drop out of him with the sleeve before taking it off. 

Spencer breathed through his mouth as he tried to come down. He barely paid attention as Hotch left the room and went into the bathroom. He registered the sound of water but didn't care. He felt like a limp noodle. He wasn't sure that he could move. Thankfully, Hotch didn't make him move, just cleaned him up. He was shocked when he felt hands on the cuffs but instead of taking them off, they were unhooked from the bed. He opened his eyes to see Hotch sitting at his head. He brought the cuffs down to rest on Spencer's chest. 

"I want to try something. You can get out of them at any time but I noticed after Vegas that you slept better when I held you close."

"Okay?"

Hotch pulled out a longer strip of leather and looped it around the headboard before linking it through the rings on the cuffs. There was enough slack for him to curl his hands in front of his face but couldn't take them down any farther than that. He took a deep breath to settle himself but found that he didn't mind it. He just rolled onto his side and closed his eyes again. Did that mean that Hotch was staying or was he just leaving? He could get himself out of the cuffs, that wasn't an issue. The lights in the room were turned off and then he felt weight settle at his back. Pillows were pulled up, and Spencer lifted his head to let the older man place one under his head. Hotch made quick work of getting the bed set back up. He was pulled tightly into his body and the blankets were settled over them. He wasn't exactly sure what was bringing on this need to keep him close but Spencer relished in it. 

Safe in Hotch's arms, Spencer fell asleep for once his mind not trying to keep him awake.


	22. Interlude VI-Lacking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S4-Soul Mates

Spencer just looked at the man across the table from him. It was the first date that he'd been on in years. Dexter was two years older than him and a businessman in DC. Spencer had met him before the case in Sarasota at a coffee shop where they discussed finance. The day they had met Dexter had been dressed business casual and Spencer had been in his normal clothes for work. The man was dressed the same now on their date. Spencer had pulled out one of his nicer three piece suits from the closet. 

"So you just got back from a case in Florida?" 

"Yes."

"You described kind of what you do with the BAU and I looked it up."

"Really?" Spencer smiled. Dexter had taken time to look up the team. 

"Yes. I was shocked at exactly what you deal with on a daily basis and found a lot of articles from a few years ago about you." Dexter smiled at him and stretched his hand over the table. One of his fingers rubbed at the first knuckles of his three longest fingers. Spencer curtailed his first reaction of wanting to jerk his hand under the table and into his lap."Youngest in the BAU."

"I was recruited pretty much out of the academy. Our then Unit Chief felt that I fit what he wanted on the team." Spencer didn't exactly want to talk about Gideon, that was still a very sore subject.

"It does seem that those who are doing horrible things in the world are just getting smarter and smarter so those who go after them would need to as well."

"Yes. Like this last case. The two men were corresponding using a blog only they could access but it took a while to figure who exactly the other person was. Idiosyncratic words, orthography, phrases, and punctuation helped me differentiate the two voices. There were also lyrics from a song in the blog. That is what led us to the partner."

"You did that?" Dexter asked. 

"Yes," Spencer said. He closed his mouth and looked down at the table cloth. 

"Is that what you do on the team?" Dexter asked. 

"It's one of my stronger suits with my reading speed."

"Reading speed?"

Spencer cursed himself internally. He was used to the team and to Hotch. Or other academics. He pulled his hand into his lap and took a drink of his water. He turned the conversation away from him and onto Dexter and what he did. It was interesting to him. Everything was interesting to him, but he could tell that he was already uninterested in Dexter. Whatever spark that had been there in the coffee shop where they had met was gone. He could also tell that he kind of freaked Dexter out some with his talking of other cases and when he tried to talk about his science degrees, the man was just gone. 

After twenty minutes of banal talk, Dexter excused himself. Spencer watched him go and knew that he wasn't coming back. He was trying to figure out what to do when the maitre'd for the restaurant stepped up to the table. 

"Sir, your date asked me to tell you that he had an unavoidable situation pop up at work. There is a gentleman though that was eating alone that has offered the company of his table." The maitre'd stepped back and pointed, and Spencer saw Rossi sitting at a table alone. "I can have the kitchen cancel his order and adds yours to Mr. Rossi's."

"That sounds good." Spencer grabbed his glass of water and moved towards Rossi's table. The older man smiled as he sat down. 

"You know I've seen you uncomfortable in work situations but never in personal. It's a strange thing to see."

"That was the first date that I've been on since college. I forget how much I don't like them at all."

"Hence your..." Rossi stopped and Spencer just looked at him. He could tell the second that the man figured out that he didn't understand what he meant. "Arrangement with Aaron."

"Oh. I'd had sex before Hotch, Rossi. I was celibate but not virginal, not to vanilla sex," Spencer pitched his voice down as it wasn't exactly normal conversation for dinner but Rossi just shifted to the center of the bench that was wrapped around the round table. Spencer moved closer on his end as well. 

"See, I remember Aaron from before. When he was with Jake. If he'd divorced Haley then, I don't know that he would have stayed with just Jake. I don't think that he would have gone out and found a pro. He would have probably tried to find a woman though that fit what he needed."

"So he doesn't talk to you about this?" Spencer asked. 

"No. He's tight lipped about it. I will say that I am shocked to see you out and dating."

"Failed. Hotch is always asking if I have gone on a date and I have always said no. At least this time I can say I tried."

"Wasn't much of a try."

"How do you date? Every person that I talk to asks about what I do. If I give too little they ask questions, expecting that I am some sensational agent. Someone like Morgan mixed with James Bond or Ethan Hunt. They are sorely let down by the reality of what we do whether there is not enough action for their liking or it's all too much that it scares them."

"Then you will have to start looking elsewhere. What about other academics?"

"Too many of them are turned off by the physicality of the job. That I hunt killers. Those that do are too into psychology and that strangely enough makes me wary when I talk to them."

"Then another agent. I know that fraternization rules really don't bother you but outside of the unit you could find someone. You have no issue with men but what about women?"

"I found sex with both men and women equally uninteresting in college. Hotch has shown me that was because I had sucky partners so I am sure that if I found a woman that’s interested me, I'd be fine."

The waiter stepped up to the table with their plates of food. He didn't even bat an eye at how they were sitting. Spencer was shocked when a glass of wine was set down by his plate. The bottle was left right beside the one that Rossi was drinking from.

"I figured that you didn't drink on the date for the same reasons that most of the BAU doesn't." Rossi picked his glass up and held it like he wanted to toast. Spencer raised an eyebrow but did as well. "To a night of good food."

Spencer smiled as they clinked glasses before taking the first sip of the wine. It wasn't something he'd ever drank before. 

"The waiter paired up a wine with what you ordered. I think you'll like it. Sweet enough even for you." Rossi smiled and Spencer wanted to stick his tongue out at him. Still the dinner went well. Rossi talked about his ex-wives and what actually led to the downfall of the marriages. Spencer was shocked to hear that he would have had a son around Stephen's age. That he'd died and it was part of what had led to the downfall of his first marriage. That wasn't something that could have been predicted. Couples either became stronger after the death of the child or they imploded. It seems that Rossi and his wife had been the latter. The second wife was lost to his want of his job and it to not change. The third Mrs. Rossi was the least touched on but he admitted that it was a romance that petered out as the reality of life intruded. 

Rossi had him in a cab before he'd even realized it. The entire bottle of wine gone. It was the most that he'd drunk since before he'd joined the BAU. He knew he was maudlin, but he had a lot to think about. When he got into his apartment, just to be cheeky, Spencer took a picture of his couch with him lying on it and sent it to the man. He got back a single word. _Scamp._

Spencer didn't want to get up but he knew that he needed to change out of his suit. He hung it up to be taken to the dry cleaners and let himself drop onto his bed just as his phone vibrated. He still had it on vibrate except for calls from JJ or Hotch. 

_Wear a suit like that into work one day and you might get Aaron to break the rules on nothing at work._ Spencer scoffed at the message and exited out of the app on his phone. 

A few minutes later, Spencer heard the chime of his phone that told him that either JJ or Hotch had texted him. 

_**Why is Rossi sending me pictures of you on your couch?** _

Spencer sat up in bed and texted back. _What?_

_**Rossi just texted me a picture that looks like you took it yourself of you in a suit on your couch.** _

_Rossi got me drunk at dinner and I texted him the picture to show I made it home safe._

_**Drunk?** _

_Blame good wine and better conversation. Rossi saved me from an evening alone after my date ditched me. I didn't notice him keep filling my glass._

_**You went on a date tonight? I don't remember Morgan giving congratulations for that.** _

_I didn't tell Morgan. He is aware that I am bisexual but I've made the decision that dating is still not for me._

_**You said that he ditched you. Do you want me to come over?** _

_We both know what is going to happen if you come over and I am too drunk to even slightly consider that an option._

_**So telling you that I am lying in bed with my pajamas pulled down and my cock in my hand, would be bad form? My right hand since I am texting with my left, since you like details.** _

Spencer just looked at his phone he didn't know exactly what to say to that. His own cock was getting hard at the thought. _Is this sexting?_

_**Not until you tell me what you are wearing.** _

_I'm in my underwear._

_**Where is your suit?** _

Spencer's heart leapt into his throat. _Already hung up to be cleaned._

_**Are you in bed?** _

_Yes._

_**What underwear are you wearing?** _

_Purple boxer briefs. The ones you like with the stripe of dark purple down the front._

_**Leave them on but stroke yourself.** _

Spencer laid down and tried to reconcile the fact that he was doing this. He didn't know exactly what to say. He'd not looked into sexting, Hotch had never brought it up before. He made a mental note to change that.

_**Are you doing it?** _

Spencer rubbed his hand over his hard cock through his briefs. He switched his phone to his left and repeated the motion with his right. _Yes_

_**Imagine it's my hand.** _

_**Sliding up and down your hard cock.** _

Spencer groaned and closed his eyes for a few seconds. His recall of the feeling of Hotch touching him was excellent. He knew what it would feel like. He kept his eyes closed until his phone buzzed again.

_**Tell me what your cock feels like.** _

_Hard. Aching already. It wants you to be the one touching it._

There was no quick reply like before. It took nearly a minute. _**Tomorrow night. I'll make sure that all your cock, ass, and mouth feel is me.**_

The gasp was loud in the silent room. He could get up and get the sleeve. It had felt so good on his cock but it would require stopping either touching himself or texting Hotch. Neither of which he wanted to do. _Please._

_**Did your hand stutter as you read that? Does your hole feel empty?** _

Spencer rubbed harder. He brought images of Hotch moving above him. The feel of hard cock inside of him. He was so close, so quickly. _close_

_**Maybe I'll take you over the back of the couch. Tilt you so that your feet don't touch the floor and only my hands on your hips keep you from falling. Thrusting in and out of you as hard and as fast as I can.** _

Spencer came with a strangled cry. He dropped his phone on the bed as his spine arched. He laid there for a minute as he caught his breath and tried to think straight. 

The phone buzzed on his bed. He reached out for it. _**Reid?**_ Just that single word but he could hear the tone of voice, feel the hand that would be reaching out to check him. Before he could reply another came through. _**Did you come?**_

_Yes._

_**I came before you. Just clean up and shower in the morning. I want to see evidence that you didn't take your briefs off. Just drape them over your clothes basket then go to sleep.** _

_Yes._

_**Good night, Reid.** _

_Good night, Hotch._

Spencer did as Hotch asked about the underwear, not understanding but not really caring. He moved to the bathroom and wet a rag to clean up before he went back to the bedroom and fell face first onto the bed. The date had sucked but with the ending that he got, he was more than okay with that. He'd stick dating to the part of his life that he didn't care about. He was content with what he had with Hotch for the moment. It made him happy, and it wasn't stressful. It was much better than dating.


	23. Blinded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S4-Pleasure is My Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope you enjoy!

It was a rare Friday when Hotch was able to wrangle them a three day weekend, and it wasn't after a case. Spencer was lounging on his couch, reading a new stack of books from the store. He had a cup of fresh coffee beside him. He'd spent the day just going from store to store shopping for what he needed and finding things that he didn't need but wanted. He was still dressed for shopping, but one of the books he'd found had been too tempting to resist. He wasn't expecting the phone that he'd laid on his chest to vibrate, so it made him jump a little. 

_**Did you have plans this weekend?**_

Even without seeing the name he knew who it was. It was Hotch. 

_Relaxing on my couch and reading books._ Spencer set his book down on his chest and settled in with his phone in both hands. The last time that Hotch and he had texted outside of a case had been sexting. His body was already responding. Hotch had come over the night after and fulfilled his promise to fuck him over the couch. They hadn't been able to get it to where his feet weren't touching the floor but Spencer had come quick and Hotch had continued to fuck him after and it had been so good. 

_**It's supposed to be my weekend with Jack but Haley's family has a special gathering to do and she asked if I could swap weekends so she could take him to it.**_

Spencer could read in between the lines of that. _You want a distraction?_

_**Please.**_

_What do you want?_ Spencer reached down to undo his pants, figuring that Hotch wanted sexting again. It was still new and thrilling and Spencer was more than willing to try it again. 

_**Something different.**_

Spencer wasn't sure how to answer that or even what to say at all. Something different could be a lot of things. While what they had done before was varied, there were a lot of things that they had never done or even discussed. _And what's that?_

_**That would be telling**_

_**Why don't you come over to find out?**_

The invite was sudden. Hotch hadn't even mentioned wanting him at the apartment after their single time there. _When do you want me?_ As soon as he pressed send he knew that it wasn't the best wording. He waited for the answer. 

_**As many times as I can have you but as soon as you can get here.**_

Another vibration just a few seconds later. _**Or I can came and get you.**_

_I'll get there quicker if I drive but is there a spot where I can park?_

_**The spot next to mine. Security won't tow you, they have your plates.**_

Spencer wondered at that. He knew how his own building was but Hotch had never mentioned giving security his information. _How long do you want me to distract you?_

_**At least tonight but we can discuss longer.**_

_I'll be there within the hour._

_**Good.**_

Spencer set his phone on his chest as he worked his pants closed again. He wasn't sure if he needed to bring any of their toys but he knew that Hotch knew what they had here. If he wanted something, he would have said something so Spencer went right for an empty bag. He packed up non work clothes for the entire weekend. He looked at himself in the mirror and decided that he needed to change. He eyed his suit in his closet but changed his mind. That would take too much to get him out of it. It was too cold out for him to not wear his heavy coat but he could change into his softest pair of jeans and skip his boxer briefs. He looked at the clock and found that he had time, so he quickly showered.

Leaving the apartment with nearly ten minutes to spare, Spencer tossed his bag into the passenger seat when his phone went off. 

_**Have you left yet?**_

_Leaving now._

_**I called in an order at the Italian place close to yours and it's ready. I was going to have them deliver it but if you'll pick it up.**_

_Sure._

_**See you soon.**_

Spencer slid his phone back into the pocket of his jacket and put his keys in the ignition. It wasn't long before the smell of good Italian was filling his nose as he drove. He hadn't been hungry until the smell hit him. It was just after five and early for him to be eating. When on a case, he never got super hungry. His brain kind of took over and he worked until food was put in front of him. It hadn't taken the team long to learn that. When he was at home, he ate when he got hungry, no matter the time. 

Traffic was horrid and it took him longer than he wanted to get to Hotch's. He found the spot easily and shouldered his bag before grabbing the bag with dinner in it. The elevator took little time to open and then he was heading up to Hotch's floor. He was looking down at his shoes when the doors opened so he didn't see Hotch until he'd taken a few steps. He stopped when he did see him though. Hotch had taken the same route as far as what was covering their legs but had opted for a soft sweater to cover his upper body. Spencer wanted to grip his coat a little tighter but he had food in his hands. Hotch must have been watching for him or something because he didn't figure that the man leaned against the wall outside his apartment for the whole floor to see him on a regular basis. 

"You made good time in rush hour traffic."

"You have to know the streets." Spencer smiled at him, despite his nerves. He just needed to get into the bedroom and he could change. He'd use dropping off his bag as the reason. Hotch wouldn't think it too odd if he forgot to take his coat off. He'd done things like that before, at the office. 

Hotch stepped up and took the bags of food from him. The older man stopped and looked him up and down. "Where's your bag?"

"It's right here." With hands free, Spencer pulled the strap to hold the bag in front of him. 

"No, the messenger bag."

"I left it at home."

Hotch just raised an eyebrow and motioned for Spencer to go first into the apartment. Spencer started right for the bedroom after toeing off his shoes. He dropped the bag onto the chair in the middle of the room before he pulled a shirt out of the bag. He turned with his hands on his coat to take it off to find Hotch right there in front of him.

"Cold?"

"No. I just forgot to take it off before I came back here. I'll go take it off now."

"Then why are you looking like you want to do everything but take it off." Hotch stepped up to him and grabbed his hands, pulling them away from his coat. "What did you wear for me that you are so worried about showing me?"

"Don't," Spencer whispered when Hotch's hands went for the zipper. The hands stopped for just a second but instead of going for the little piece of metal, they moved around his body and cupped his ass. 

"I like these jeans. Why haven't you wore them for me before?"

"I..." Spencer couldn't think well enough to answer. Hotch had pulled him closer while stepping closer himself. "I pulled them out of some of my things from college. I wore them through most of my post first doctorate years."

"So you wore them just for me? And why don't you want to show me what's under the coat?"

Spencer kept his hands away even though he wanted to grip his coat again. It wasn't hard to look away from Hotch's face. 

"Twenty questions then. Are you wearing a shirt?" 

Spencer nodded. Hotch hummed and started to move them. He sat down on the bed and pulled him into his lap. His hands never touched the coat. They traced his thighs and his ass but never went about the top of his pants. The shirt barely touched his pants when he was standing. He wanted to regret wearing it but so far he couldn't. Even if he hadn't taken it off yet. 

"Are you wearing more than one article of clothing on your upper body other than your coat?"

Spencer shook his head. Hotch pulled him into a kiss. Spencer relaxed as the kiss went on. When the older man broke the kiss, Spencer was panting and hard. Kisses were trialed across his jaw and he felt breath on his ear. 

"Is it from your college days too?"

Spencer shook his head again. He pulled back a little, to where Hotch could see him. The older man's hands settled on his ass again to help hold him on his lap. Spencer took a deep breath and worked the zipper all the way down but he made sure that the coat didn't open up. He settled his hands on Hotch's shoulders so that the other man could open the coat. 

When Spencer finally looked up into Hotch's eyes, he saw that the older man wasn't looking down. He was looking at his face instead. 

"You don't have to." Hotch cupped the side of his cheek. "I can go into the kitchen and get dinner plated up and you can change."

"No. I...you dressed nice and I..."

"What did you dress like?" Hotch was smiling. 

"I think the term that best fits is a boy toy." Talking he could do. Talking was easy. He hadn't felt this nervous around Hotch and sex in a while.

"You think you look like a sex object?"

"To you, yes."

"I guess I will just have to take a look see." Hotch dropped his hand from his cheek and instead of just opening the coat, he slid his hands underneath while staring in Spencer's eyes. "You bought a shirt this tight?"

"No. It shrunk in the wash." Spencer closed his eyes as Hotch's hands traced his stomach and then chest. The hands went higher and pushed the coat back and then down off his shoulders, forcing him to let go of Hotch's shoulders. He let it fall to the floor.

"I like it. You do look like sex walking to me. It's a nice distraction. The purple looks good on you. Not as good as royal blue but sexy in its own way. You are not however going out like this."

"This is just for you."

"Good," Hotch smiled and his hands trailed down Spencer's back. "Now that you are settled, let's go eat some dinner." Spencer slid back off his lap and let himself be led back to the kitchen area. 

Spencer figured out that something was up when Hotch sat beside him at the table and seemed content to not stop touching him. He was never this affectionate while they were eating. Spencer just let it happen. Hotch obviously wanted it and he needed a distraction and this he could do. It felt good to be the center of Hotch's world in a non sexual capacity. He knew that it was leading to sex but to feel a touch that felt good, just to feel good was wonderful. 

After dinner, Spencer was pulled over to couch where he was a little shocked to be pulled not into Hotch's lap but on top of him, while the other man was lying down and then his arms were drawn behind his back. He was held tight, his legs straddling Hotch's lower stomach with his ass just barely brushing his groin. It was a strange position but he held it, even when his arms were let go of. 

"Close your eyes," Hotch whispered. 

Spencer did as he asked and as soon as he did, Hotch leaned up and started to kiss him. He leaned over more and more until it was just his thigh muscles keeping him propped up. Hotch's hands weren’t still, touching him everywhere. Under the shirt, over the shirt, the insides of his thighs. It was only when he pulled away to gasp in a breath that Spencer put a name to what they were doing. Making out. He was leaning back down when he had the thought and his eyes popped open. Hotch's eyes were on him and there was something in his eyes that Spencer had never seen before, not when they were doing what they were doing. Apprehensiveness. 

"Hotch?" Spencer questioned. 

Hotch let go of his body and grabbed his arms, pulling him down onto his chest. He felt the push and allowed himself to slide along his body. He'd been hard since getting onto the couch and the rough feel of jeans on his cock had him shuddering. 

"I just want this. I just want to feel you." Hotch's hands moved again and one settled on the nape of his neck pulling him in again to kiss. His other slid down his back and into the gap between jeans and skin. "No boxer briefs?"

"No."

"You really did dress for me didn't you?" Hotch didn't let him answer. He crushed their lips together again and Spencer braced himself with one arm on the arm of the couch and the other on the cushion at Hotch's shoulder. There was no push for more though. Just a lazy make out session. Spencer closed his eyes and gave into what was wanted. His entire body relaxed and he started to touch with the hand that had been braced on the cushion. He walked his hand down to the edge of Hotch's shirt and then up and under. Hotch moaned at the touch of skin on skin. 

Spencer lost track of how long they made out. Arousal was there but there was no need to get off. It felt good. When Hotch's hands moved to his arms and pushed him up, Spencer was confused. 

"Time to move to the bedroom."

"Not out here?"

"I have plans."

Spencer pulled back a little farther, confusion on his face. He ran over what he had seen of the bedroom. The chair. The last time it had been on the far side, against the wall. He'd been so focused on getting changed that he hadn't even thought about its placement. There had been a bag hanging of it, the bag was recognizable to him now that he thought about it. It was from that leather shop that Hotch liked. He wondered what the man could have bought this time. 

At the request of insistent hands, Spencer got up. He started right to the bedroom with Hotch behind him. His bag was still on the chair. The older man passed him and moved the bag to the dresser and then sat in the chair. He motioned for him to sit on the bed. 

"The first is pure indulgence on my part." Hotch reached back into the bag and pulled out a new pair of cuffs. Unlike the other pair, these were blue. The same royal blue that the rest of the things that Hotch had for him were. "Next time we are at yours, I'm cuffing you, gagging you, putting on the cock ring, and propping your ass on the pillow. All that blue on your skin."

Spencer closed his eyes and imagined what he would look like. Hotch liked that blue on him it seemed. He had to shift as that image ramped up his arousal to needing to get off soon. 

"But that is not what I want to do today." Hotch grabbed the bag and Spencer could see something else inside. It looked to be royal blue as well. Spencer couldn't help but tense at the nervousness that Hotch was showing. "You have the right to say no. I won't be upset and I'll just cuff you to the bed and fuck you. I'll make you beg and scream."

Hotch drew out a strip of cloth, the same shade of royal blue. It wasn't like the cloth that the gag was made from. It wasn't a new gag though. Spencer took it and it unraveled. It was thicker in the middle and slightly wider as well. No light would get through the cloth. It was a blindfold. 

Spencer looked at him in shock. He couldn't speak. He thought about it. Hotch had been working up to it. He saw that now. Having him keep his eyes closed. Showing that he could do that. He trusted Hotch. More than anyone in his life, personally and professionally. This was just another step. 

"Okay," Spencer whispered. He handed the blindfold back. 

"I'm going to blindfold you then help you strip. For tonight, we are changing your safeword. Red stops everything. We will go to bed, you in the bed and me there or the couch, wherever you are more comfortable with. Yellow will pause. We will fix what is wrong and continue. Even if that is no blindfold and/or cuffs."

Spencer nodded but the raised eyebrow had him answering verbally. "Yes"

"Good." Hotch stood up and pulled him up as well. The cuffs were draped over where the bag had been and the bag was put on the dresser. Spencer closed his eyes as Hotch spun him around. He braced for the feel of cloth on his face but gasped when hands gripped his hips and pulled his ass into contact with Hotch's groin. "This is what you do to me. Giving me your trust. Allowing me to lose myself in your body. It's a gift I am never going to abuse."

Spencer laid his head back onto Hotch's shoulder and he felt the blindfold on his neck. He waited for it to drape over his eyes before he tilted it back up. But it wasn’t tied around him. 

"Open and relax."

Eyes opened to darkness and Spencer tensed. The cloth tightened but he could tell that it was just being held there. He inhaled, feeling Hotch behind him. Exhaled, knowing he was safe. His entire body relaxed. The blindfold tightened more and he knew it was being tied. His hands were taken and drawn up behind his head. His fingers were traced over the knot. It was a simple slip knot. 

"Stand still but touch as much as you want." Hotch's hands went right for the skin of his stomach, under his shirt. "And talk." Hotch's breathing came from in front so he had to have moved.

Hands started to push up the shirt, Spencer reached out and pulled Hotch into a kiss. The other man only pulled out of it long enough to pull his shirt off. Spencer expected to feel hands on his jeans but instead one splayed on his upper chest with tips brushing his collarbone. The tips then started all over his chest and stomach, Once slipping down to brush his cock through his jeans with barely there pressure. 

"Please," Spencer begged. 

Hotch chuckled before pulling his hand up. 

"No begging." The voice in his ear was harsh but not mean. It startled him. He tried to figure out why he wasn't allowed to beg. Hotch usually loved it. That he'd got him to where he couldn't control his mouth. "Demand. Order me around. What do you want?"

"I don't know." Spencer couldn't think. The feel of the cloth on his face and the change in routine, they were both throwing him for a loop. Lips brushed at his before moving to ear. He knew what Hotch was doing. Giving him power while in a vulnerable position, he just wasn't sure that he wanted it. He wanted to let go. "Strip."

"Yes, Sir," Hotch said with what sounded like a smirk on his face. Spencer turned his head so that could listen to the subtle sounds of cloth being removed. The older man was quick about it. 

"How are the handcuffs coming into play?"

"The chair. I'm not going to do it in front, that's asking for an issue to pop up." Hotch's hand were back on him. He relaxed more and more as fingertips traced muscles and palms brushed sensitive spots. But having to try and think was cutting his arousal. 

"Just make me feel good, Hotch." Spencer threaded a hand into Hotch's short hair and pulled his lips back in for a kiss. The session had him not wanting to stop kissing but knew at some point he would. He kept one hand in hair but walked the other across Hotch's chest, then down. He was allowed to do exactly as he wanted, so he did. He trailed had fingers to where groin and thigh met, tracing the sensitive skin there. Hotch shuddered and turned his head away. He felt the graze of teeth before they bit at the skin of his collarbone. 

Spencer's grip on Hotch's hair tightened and he pushed his mouth tighter into his skin. He was shocked when he felt his jeans practically ripped open. A quick loss of balance as Spencer was spun, had him gripping tight to Hotch. His jeans were pushed down and then he was led backwards a few steps, one of Hotch's feet on jeans helped him out of them. As Hotch licked at the wound, Spencer gripped his hip to steady himself. His short nails dug into flesh and he was pretty sure that there would be little crescent moon wounds on Hotch's skin. 

One more step back had his legs brushing the chair. He wondered exactly what the plans were for whatever Hotch had planned for him bound and blind on the chair but he didn't want to truly know. He always enjoyed not knowing what was coming. 

Hotch didn't push him into the chair. Instead his lips trailed down his chest, then stomach. Hotch was on his knees and swallowed him down before he even registered it. Spencer shouted his surprise, grabbing the older man's head with both of his hands to keep himself upright. One of Hotch's hands settled on his hip to him steady. This blow job wasn't meant to be the means to an end. The man was playful and arousing but not maddening. He never felt the second hand but he didn't want to move to figure out where it was either. 

When Hotch pulled off, Spencer was panting and achingly hard. He followed hands down onto the chair and drew his arms behind himself. The chair's back was thin and not very wide, perfect to have his hands behind. 

At the feel of the padded cuff wrapping around his wrist, Spencer let himself go. His head tilted back and he released all his breath. 

"You are doing better than I thought you would. Being blindfolded with free hands is one thing," Hotch said as he wrapped the second cuff around his wrist. He was shocked when he felt a tug on his right wrist then a tug on his left. The wrists weren't cuffed together but independently to the chair. He tugged on each one, realizing he could touch his own hips. 

"You won't hurt me and you'll let me go if I say the word." Spencer went with the tug on his hair. A kiss was placed on his forehead before his mouth was claimed. A hand ghosted his chest and the wrapped around his cock. He jerked in surprise and moaned into Hotch's mouth. He spread his legs and tried to buck up into the fist. 

"That's it," Hotch whispered into his ear. He felt the man shift then there was heat along his side and the hand in his hair moved down to base of his skull. Next the hand on his cock let go and he felt it trail up to his neck. He groaned at the loss of sensation on his cock. Sweat started to break out on his skin. "Let go."

The snap of the lube cap echoed in the near silent room. The only noises were Hotch's near whispered breaths and his own panting. He hadn't realized the hand on his neck left until the lube cap snapped and now it was on his cock again. 

"You don't want me to beg, so something had better happen soon," Spencer said through gritted teeth. 

Hotch was moving again and straddled his legs. Spencer shifted his legs and he expected to feel the other man sit down but he felt fingers instead. "Breathe, Reid. I don't want you passing out." 

"Why would I..." Spencer stopped speaking as he felt something strange at the head of his cock. By the time that he figured out it was Hotch's ass, the head was inside the man. Spencer closed his sightless eyes, screwing them shut at the same time he gulped in a mouthful of air. He jerked on the cuffs, wanting to touch. He'd have been fine with never fucking Hotch. The man didn't see him as less for taking his cock up his ass and Spencer enjoyed it. But to not see his face for this. Spencer keened as he bottomed out inside of Hotch. He'd imagined it but reality was so much better than his fantasies. 

"Breathe." Hotch started a rhythm of up and down that had Spencer barely able to breathe. He was so hot and tight around his cock. Hotch clenched even tighter and Spencer gasped. Before he could close his lips, Hotch's tongue was there. There was nothing that Spencer could do. He wanted to touch. To grip. Hotch got to touch. He gripped Spencer's hair tilting, his head back. He all but fucked his mouth as his cock moved in his ass. 

Spencer shifted his arms and found he could just reach the tether on his left hand with his right. He worked the leather around to where the knot was in his fingertips. He didn't realize the change in Hotch's pace with his hips or his mouth until he felt a hand pull his left away. 

"You can touch when you come. Now be a good boy and let me fuck myself on you."

"Hotch," Spencer croaked as his voice tried to give out. Hotch went back to trying to devour his mouth. He tried to jerk his head away from him but he was well and truly trapped. Unlike inside the shed though, that knowledge didn't frighten him. He couldn't get away. He was at Hotch's mercy and didn't want to be anywhere else. He'd rather be where he was than anywhere else. 

Spencer's entire body tensed as that thought made him come. His scream echoed around the room. As his body came down, Hotch was still riding him. He worked on the tether again. Just as he was getting too sensitive, Hotch pulled off him. He felt the breeze as the man moved behind. But he didn't open the cuffs, just untied them. Spencer didn't care. 

Standing on shakey legs, Spencer reached around and found skin before grabbing him. Even with the blindfold on he knew where he was in the room. He shoved at Hotch and waited for the thump of body on bed, the squeal of bedsprings, and the whoosh of air out of Hotch's lungs. He dropped to his knees and reached out, taking cock in hand. The weight of the cuffs on his hands felt good and he didn't want to take them off. He didn't want to stop to take off the blindfold either. He tongued at the head, his fingers felt how much Hotch had been leaking while fucking himself on Spencer's cock. 

No time was wasted as he first licked the head of Hotch's cock and then took him all the way in. He hitched up one of Hotch's legs over his shoulder. After his mouth adjusted to the feel of the cock inside of it, he started to work it back as far as he could. He may have come but he was still worked up. 

Hotch was silent as Spencer sucked his cock and he wasn't sure that it was a good thing. The blindfold stopped him from being able to look but he didn't want to see now. He'd been blind since the start and he wanted to finish it that way. He could only guess that what he was about to do was something that wasn't going to freak the other man out. He shifted and slid a hand down Hotch’s outer thigh until he hit ass cheek. He curved his hand inward and traced from top of crack to the bottom. Hotch jerked in his hold and he hummed around the flesh in his mouth. He could feel the lube that Hotch used to prepare himself and something else. He knew that the something else was his own release. He slid two fingers inside the other man, searching for his prostate. 

A hand buried itself in his hair. "Reid, I'm close." The hand moved back and there was a soft exclaimation of surprise as fingers touched the blindfold. Spencer gripped Hotch's hip with one hand and when the cuff touched his skin, Hotch cried out and Spencer tasted the first bit of release on his tongue as he pulled back. He was shocked when Hotch sat up and pulled him off his cock. He floundered as he was shoved back onto the floor and the older man sat astride his hips. He felt wet hit his stomach as his arms were forced above his head and slammed onto the carpeted floor. His outcry was muffled with Hotch's mouth and he tried to buck the man off of him but he just shifted his weight, holding on. Spencer reacted out of instinct. He was able to roll them. He ended up on top of Hotch. 

"See, blindfolded and still you can fight me." Hotch's hands framed his face as he leaned up. "What do you say on blindfolds?"

"Don't surprise me with this and we will be fine. No waking up blindfolded."

"Close your eyes so I don't blind you."

Spencer did as asked and waited for the feel of the cloth to disappear. When it did, he blinked his eyes open and closed slowly until they were adjusted to the light. Hotch was seemingly content to stay under him. He thought about everything that Hotch had done. He'd planned this. His entire goal had been to get Spencer to feel fine about having a blindfold on. That he wasn't powerless with one on. Even bound in a chair, he'd had the upper hand. One word and it would have stopped. Another and the blindfold would have come off. But being blindfolded in the safety of Hotch's apartment and with Hotch was different than if he was blindfolded elsewhere. 

"Are you staying tonight?" Hotch asked. 

"You want me to."

"That doesn't answer my question, Reid."

"Yes. I brought all of my things."

"Good." Hotch used his hands on his face to pull him back down into a kiss. His release was cooling on their skin but the man didn't seem to care. They were back to kissing like teenagers on a couch but instead they were naked on Hotch's floor. There was an easiness to this. Hotch shifted them to where he could get his legs under him, lifting Spencer up. Spencer expected to be dropped on the bed but he was carried into the bathroom where Hotch didn't break the kiss once. Spencer was too worn out already or he was fairly certain that he'd be getting hard again. He was set on the counter and only then did the kiss break but just long enough for Hotch to speak. "Shower while I get the bed made up."

"Okay." Spencer didn't pull out of the kiss much at all. Instead he broke it just long enough to speak. Hotch stayed longer than Spencer thought he would. He pulled back and then was gone. Spencer hopped into the shower. Now that the excitement of sex was over, his body wanted to crash. The case they had got back from had been a hard one. Hotch had formed a small attachment to the Escort that had been their UnSub and Spencer was sure that whatever happened to her as a child, Hotch felt a kin with. 

Spencer barely remembered laying down in bed. He sort of remembered Hotch slipping into bed with him smelling fresh and clean. The older man wrapped his arms around him and settled down to sleep instantly. In the bright light of morning, Spencer knew why Hotch had started to stay the night, or for the few times he'd been at Hotch's, he stayed the night there. Hotch had spent most of his adult life with Haley in his bed. It had to be an adjustment to not having someone in bed with him. Spencer was more than okay with helping him in that way. His adjustment to sleeping in a bed with someone had been quick. Quicker than what he ever thought that he would get used to it. He didn't miss Hotch though when he was in bed alone. He tried to settle down and go back to sleep but the feel of Hotch's heat along his back had his libido ramping up. 

Hotch's hand moved from his hip to his ass and then he was being pressed down on his front into the bed. The older man draped himself over him and he wondered if they were going to leave the bedroom for more than eating before he left on Sunday.


	24. Escaped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S4-Omnivore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here out my new beta is Rivermon1970. 
> 
> Reidemption has been a wonderful beta and she's done so much and I am going to miss her but I'll take being able to read her stories instead.

Spencer hadn't been shocked when they finished going over how Foyet escaped and before he could even leave the office, he had a text from Hotch telling him that he would be over. He only had a little time to prepare. Before going to Boston, Spencer had visited a place that he'd found that waxed males as well as females. It had taken getting used to and then Boston had happened and Hotch didn't know about it yet. He needed to do something for Hotch. It was something for him as well. 

What he had planned was so different than anything he'd done in the past. Pushing the thoughts of what he was going to do out of him mind, Spencer showered quickly. He'd not taken any clothes into the bathroom with him nor his robe. Instead, when he stepped out he dried off and stared at himself in the mirror. He moved on to dry his hair as much as possible in a short time. At his left side on the counter was the new anal plug that he'd bought on the way home. He'd gone to three shops before he'd found what he wanted. Most of the tubes of lube in the apartment were at least half gone so he'd bought a few more. He was using one of the newer ones. He quickly stretched himself, making sure that he was nice and slick before he slid the plug inside. 

He was hard as a rock, which worked for him because he was able to snap the cock ring on, moaning as he did so. He washed his hands before he grabbed the final new item. A pen of edible body paint. He write the five letters on himself making sure that he could read them in the mirror. Looking at his face one last time in the mirror, he smiled and left the bathroom. On the dresser, sat the three items that he had left to dress himself in. 

First, he grabbed his phone and texted Hotch telling him to come in and lock up behind himself as he had plans for him all night long. He waited a moment to get an answer and when it didn't come, he set his phone down at his bedside, plugging it into the charger. He moved around to the other side and grabbed his spare charger, plugging it in so that Hotch could plug his phone into charge. 

The chirp from his phone told him that he got a message. He checked it and found that Hotch was fifteen minutes out. Setting the phone back down, Spencer grabbed the cuffs and worked on getting them attached to his wrists. The leather strips were already attached to each cuff. Hotch had taken the older cuffs back to his place, swapping in the blue cuffs at Spencer's. The gag was next. He fixed it to where it wouldn't tug on his hair. He grabbed the last item and walked towards the bed.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Spencer stared at the object in his hands. There was a mental difference in allowing Hotch to take his sight away and taking it away himself. Hotch wasn't there to save him at the moment. If he freaked out, there would be no one to save him. He inhaled and then exhaled sharply. He wrapped the blindfold around his eyes and made sure he couldn't see a thing before he tied it tight. He'd made up the bed first with a sheet on top of the regular fitted sheet. The comforter and regular sheet were at the foot of the bed to be pulled up when they finally went to sleep. Hotch staying over after sex was the new normal. There was a second set of everything in the bathroom and suits in the closet that were changed out on a basis that made sense only in the older man's head. 

Spencer shifted around to start tying his first hand to the bed, he'd practiced the knot work before to make sure that he was ready for something like this. After getting his second hand tied, Spencer laid back. He gripped the hanging tails of the leather and pulled. The knot allowed the slack to be removed as he pulled on it. He could reach up to undo the knot but now he couldn't touch either one of his hands with the other. 

Relaxing back, Spencer counted the seconds. Five hundred and seventy three seconds later, he heard the front door open. He could see in his mind Hotch taking off his shoes and his suit jacket being hung up on the back of a chair in the kitchen. Moving down the hall, his steps getting closer. Spencer pulled his legs up so that his stomach and cock were hidden. The door handle rattled and then the door opened. He heard the faint creak that always sounded when it was halfway open. 

The sharp inhalation of breath sounded in the room. Spencer swallowed and then released the muscles keeping his legs where they were. His legs fell open and Hotch could see the cock ring as well as the two words on his stomach. He listened, tracking Hotch as he moved around the room. The bathroom door shut and he was left with silence. The sound of water kicked on and Spencer exhaled. The water didn't give him much idea of what was going on. Hotch could be using it to mask sounds, to wash his hands, or even to try and get control of himself. 

Spencer started to curse himself as the minutes ticked by. A sheen of sweat started to form on his skin and he moved his right hand to work on the knot. Just as he touched leather, fingers caught his own, pulling his hands down. 

"Ah. I didn't say you could untie yourself, Reid." The fingers released his and trailed down his arm. When they touched his shoulder, they hesitated. Five seconds they moved up, brushing past the gag and going straight for the blindfold. One finger traced from ear to ear just at the edge. "Do you have your contacts in?"

Spencer shook his head. He'd taken them out before he'd even started to set up. 

"Good. Safeword?"

One snap then a pause before two more snaps. He felt the bed dip just at his shoulder. 

"Learning knotwork? I see you can tighten them but I have to loosen. Snap if you need me to give you slack." The weight was gone. He heard the jingle of Hotch's belt and the thump of pants hitting the floor. Movement towards his gunsafe and the code being entered. Footsteps back to the nightstand and the little tell tale chirp that meant a phone was charging. He could see it all in his head. The little rituals of getting ready for bed, even though they weren't going to sleep. The clank of the hanger in the closet and Hotch hung up his pants and dress shirt. The hamper lid settling back into place as socks and underwear were put in. Then silence. 

Hotch was making sure he couldn't hear him. He knew he was being stared at and he made sure not to move. He held still when he wanted to squirm. His reward came when the bed dipped. 

"'Use me'?" Hotch's fingers traced his words. "I plan on it." A hand trailed down his stomach to ghost the inside of his thigh."And you shaved...no waxed." Hotch's fingers ghosted over his hairless skin just to the side of his cock. "A new plug? How many places did you visit to find this?"

Spencer held up three fingers. He moaned as the hand shifted lower, pushing the plug inside him farther. The only warning he had before his cock was encased inside a hot, wet mouth was the hot breath over the head. He bucked up into Hotch's mouth once before his hips were held down. A moment was all he had of that hot mouth wrapped around his cock. 

Hotch pulled off and leaned up. He felt the tongue on his stomach and groaned. Every single bit of body paint licked off his body. He had tried it when he'd got home. Strawberry flavored, a weakness of Hotch's. 

"So you rushed through your paperwork and asked to leave an hour early to travel to sex shops and find a blue plug and body paint. Then you came back here, rushed through eating what looked like McDonald's. Showered and then prepared yourself to look like a sexual feast for me?"

Spencer nodded. He was so hard that if Hotch snapped off the ring, he'd come right away. Hotch shifted up and the plug was pulled from him. He expected Hotch to play more. Instead, he felt the cock at his hole before it pushed all the way in. Hotch wasn't gentle and he wasn't slow. He fucked him, hard and fast. But instead of his legs being draped over Hotch's shoulders, they were being held up and apart. 

"Fuck, so hot." Hotch pounded into him hard. "My cock sliding in and out of you. You can't see it, that makes it hotter."

Hotch draped one leg over his shoulder, but instead of siding into him, he pulled out. Spencer tried to shift his legs to pull him back in but he was stopped. "Look at your hole. Gaping wide where I was just in you. The muscle, pulling tight and relaxing. Wanting something inside it again." A thumb was inside him before he could breath. He inhaled through his nose. Feeling the loss of the fullness of Hotch's cock. 

A hand wiggling behind his head started as the thumb pulled from inside him. The slipknot on the gag was pulled and it loosened. He heard it hit wherever Hotch threw it. 

"Beg if you want my cock back inside you."

Spencer swallowed and clenched down as the thumb slid back inside. He was at Hotch's mercy he knew it. "Please."

"Please what? Please stop?" The digit withdrew. Spencer keened.

"Please fuck me."

"Better." Two fingers slide into him. They rubbed everywhere but where he wanted them to. "You can do better. I've heard you. When you are gagged. Begging for me. Now I want to hear the words."

"Please." Spencer inhaled and then exhaled. "Fill me with your cock. Fuck me until you come."

"God dammit." The fingers withdrew from him and then he went from empty to full as fast as Hotch could fill him. His legs were pushed back with his knees to his chest. He had to grip the headboard to stop his head from cracking it. Every single thrust was hard and brushed his prostate. His cock ached with the need for release. He wanted to snap the cock ring off. 

"Please. Let me come. Please, Hotch." He couldn't stop the words.

"After I do. I'll let you come once I've had mine. You said use you and I am." Hotch's hips snapped into his ass time after time. The drag of cock inside him had him letting out a breathy little pant. "You are mine. Aren't you?"

"Y-yes." Spencer threw his head back as he tried to gain leverage on his own body. Hotch still had him splayed out and he wasn't able. 

"No one else can touch you like this can they?" The hand holding his left leg in place slid down and moved towards his hole. He wasn't sure what Hotch was going to do but he was fairly certain that if his cock pulled out of him that he was going to kill the man. Instead of pulling out though, a slick finger slid inside with cock. He expected it to thrust in and out but instead it curled and brushed his prostate. 

Spencer screamed. He felt his back come up off the bed. The only points of contact with the bed was his head and shoulders. His ass ground down onto Hotch's cock more. Hotch leaned over him and all he could feel was the cock inside of him and the hand that was blazing on his cock, sliding fingers down to the base. The snap echoed in Spencer's mind and then he was coming. 

"Spencer!" Hotch called out as his hips snapped into him and then he was coming as well. The older man slumped down onto him, letting his legs go lax, cradling him close. He was floating.

Spencer knew that he passed out. He barely woke up as Hotch convinced him into the bathtub. Warm water cascaded over his body and he felt a soft cloth clean him up as Hotch seemed to just want to touch him. He felt the sheet and then the comforter being pulled up over his body. Hotch's warm body pressed against him after a few minutes. He gave in and allowed his mind to shut down and slip into sleep. 

Hotch didn't leave the next morning after they woke up. The team had been barred from the office for a few days and Hotch hadn't liked it but Spencer figured he'd take the time to spend with Jack. Instead though, he stayed. Breakfast was cold cereal standing at the counter. Spencer couldn't settle though after. He moved around the apartment cleaning while Hotch watched him. 

As he passed by Hotch at one point, the older man grabbed him, pulling him down into his lap. 

"Come out to lunch with me today."

"What?" Spencer looked at Hotch. His eyes were clear.

"I'm meeting Haley and Jack at one at a little diner. Sean used to work there and Haley came to like it."

"I..."

"You don't have to but she asks about you and I figured that she'd love to see you there. And you know that Jack would love to see some magic." 

"It's family time and you don't get a lot of time..."

"Reid." Hotch stared at him and Spencer knew that he would give in. He couldn't deny the man a single thing that he wanted. "Haley and I want you there."

Spencer swallowed the lump in his throat. Hotch just wanted to show Haley that he was fine. There wasn't anything more there than that. There couldn't be.


	25. Interlude VII-Uncomfortable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S4-Amplification

Spencer grabbed his cup of Jell-O that a nurse had brought him. He felt like sticking his tongue out at Morgan but didn't. The nurse had brought him in several cups of it and had smacked Morgan's hand when he went after one. She told him they were for patients only. Spencer didn't like being in the gown but at the same time was just happy to be awake and able to speak. He wanted to see Hotch. To know that he was fine. Morgan said he was but he was being tight lipped about what had happened after he'd gone to the hospital. He understood why he was being that way just like he understood why Hotch wasn't there. Hotch had the case wrap up to worry about and given the high stakes and security, it wasn't going to be quick. Morgan was worried about sending him into a breathing fit. His voice was still raspy and he was breathing a little hard. Doctor Kimura wasn't even discussing sending him home any time soon. He foresaw a day or two in the hospital. Morgan had already said that someone from the team was going to be stopping by the hospital to find some things for him to stay entertained. He was happy. He'd even settle for one of those tablets that Garcia was always on about if it meant he got to read, even if they couldn't keep up with him.

"Where's my phone?"

"Are you allowed to use it here?"

"We are in a lockdown ward. Given the nature of the illness and the threat, only approved people are allowed in and out. There are no machines in here that it is going to interfere with and I've seen Doctor Kimura on hers. So yes, I am sure that I am allowed to use it in here."

Morgan raised his hands in surrender and mouthed nonsense at him. Spencer did stick his tongue out at him. The other agent laughed and handed over his phone. Spencer looked to see that he had two texts. He entered his code to access the phone and looked at the first one. It was from Garcia, yelling at him for scaring her but that she was happy that he was fine. The second was from Hotch.

_**Morgan said you are doing better. I am glad. Call me when he leaves you alone for a moment. I want to make sure you are doing better. He told me about the aphasia.** _

_I will._

There was no message back but Spencer didn't expect it. He leaned over to place the phone on his stand and when he leaned back up he grabbed his Jell-O cup again. Looking up at Morgan he stopped. Morgan was looking at him weird.

"Did I start bleeding?" Spencer asked as he set down the cup again. His hands flew to his nose and when there was no blood on his fingers went to his ears and eyes, coming away clean. "Morgan, what's wrong?"

"You have a scar on your shoulder and it's not exactly something you got in the line of duty." Morgan was across the room before Spencer could stop him and had the gown pulled down. He wasn't able to stop him. His limbs weren't fully reacting and he only got his gown pulled up after Morgan had a good look at him. "When did you get bit by an UnSub?"

"I didn't." Spencer reached up and tied off his gown a little tighter so that it didn't come undone again.

"Reid. That's a scar."

"And?" Spencer looked at Morgan, his gaze making the man step back. Morgan raised his hands in supplication. He could see the agent's mind spinning. It wasn't going to take long for him to figure out exactly what had caused it. He wasn't going to offer anything though. He only wanted to push him off not give him more ammunition. Morgan didn't have an eidetic memory but his visual recall was good and he got a good enough look to be able to figure out that while the main scar was a set of teeth, the lighter almost not there anymore scars were from the same set of teeth.

"There was more than one scar there. Lighter ones that were a lot older."

"Yes. The main scar that you saw was given to me about a year ago."

"Not a specific date?" Morgan cocked an eyebrow up.

Spencer’s mind supplied the date but it would land them smack in the middle of New York and Morgan would put two and two together if he looked it up, and he didn't want the man doing that.

"You don't have to know everything."

"That's a Spencer Reid dodge if I ever heard one. So who was the lucky lady that you got off enough that she tried to take a chunk off your shoulder?"

"No one that you know." Spencer didn't feel bad for the lie. Who Hotch was outside of work wasn't someone that Morgan would recognize so technically it wasn't a lie.

"Why don't I know her?" Morgan asked.

"It's sex Morgan."

"Yes."

Spencer sighed that the other agent didn't understand. He took a bite of his Jell-O to try and take the few seconds to help him explain it in a way that would make Morgan understand but also not as many questions. "It's sex. Only sex. We have an agreement for mutual satisfaction when needed."

"You...you have a fuck buddy?"

"Yes. What did you think I was incapable?" Spencer felt a little put out at the assumption . He didn't think of himself as a romantic.

"No, it's just..." Morgan sighed and ran a hand down his face. "Most women..." The agent stopped and looked at him. His eyes narrowed and focused on a spot just behind Spencer's shoulder. "That wasn't given to you by a woman. Unless she's into fucking you with a strap on."

"I never said it was a woman. You are the one that guessed that and went with it. I chose not to correct you. I've never talked about my sexuality."

"Your gay?" Morgan didn't looked freaked out, just put out.

"Bisexual. The arrangement I have is with a man but I've had sex with women."

"Arrangement? That doesn't sound like it's a good match."

"What do you mean?" Spencer cocked his head to the side and looked at the man.

"You are you and..."

"And you don't think I can have sex without getting attached?" Spencer could feel his breathing acting up but he didn't care. He was getting mad.

"That's not what I said, Reid."

"No then what do you mean? You know nothing about our arrangement and you want to judge that it's not good for me? The last time I went on a date, it sucked. It totally sucked. So Morgan, what do you think is the best for me? Who's the best man for me?"

"Look, Reid. I didn't mean to make you mad but most people who have sex with friends aren't exactly...the smartest. Not like you."

"So because he's willing to be in this arrangement with me he's stupid?"

"NO! I'm not explaining it well. He just can't be as smart as you."

"And that's what you think I need? A man who is as smart as me? That I can't find any happiness with someone else who is in your eyes dumber than me?" Spencer shifted in the bed to sit all the way up. He glanced at his monitor and saw that his pulse ox was going down but he didn't care. He was in a range that was fine for short periods of time. "Or do you think that I can only get someone who is smart like me because I'm not enough of a catch otherwise."

"No. Reid. Just let me."

"No. You are going to listen. He treats me wonderfully and he bites when he's so worked up that he doesn’t even think. The big scar you see is something he gave me when he came to me in one of his lowest moments. He was lost and came to me to fix it. We use each other. He helps me clear my mind out after the worst cases. I can let go with him. Don't you fucking sit there and tell me that I need to change because if I have to change so that I can fit the image that you have of me in your head, then you need to change that image first."

"Reid."

"Did you think I was a virgin? That ship sailed long before I joined the team. Just because I don't date and just because I don't expand on the sexual prowess of the man who fucks me doesn't mean that I don't get any." Spencer tried to breath but he couldn't get enough oxygen in. He could hear the machines beeping but instead of a nurse or doctor rushing in, Hotch was there. He strode into the room with a bag in his hand and dropped it onto a chair. As soon as he neared the bed, he shoved Spencer back and grabbed the oxygen mask quickly slipping it over his face.

"Reid, quiet." Hotch kept the mask in place and turned to Morgan. "Out."

Morgan moved away from where he'd been at Spencer's bedside. Spencer fought at Hotch's hold on the mask and the man allowed it to be pulled away.

"I wasn't."

"I know. Now shut up and breath." Hotch pressed the mask back in. Spencer reached up to take it from him but Hotch just glared and he laid his hand back down in his lap. The way that Hotch was turned, no one could see their sides that were closest so he reached out and touched. He touched the skin of the wrist that was hanging down. Hotch took a hold of his hand and squeezed it for a few seconds before he let go, just as JJ entered the room. Spencer was shocked to see that Henry was with her.

"Look who wanted to see his Godfather!" JJ said.

Hotch grabbed the band that would hold the mask to his face and looped it around the back of his head. "Keep that on until your oxygen levels are at normal range for ten minutes."

Spencer didn't say anything, just nodded. JJ slipped to the side of the bed where Morgan had been. She sat down on the edge after Spencer moved over. JJ started to hand Henry over but Spencer tried to stop her. Hotch took the baby but instead of keeping him, he pressed the button that raised the bed up to where he was leaning back against it and then gently placed Henry in his arms. Most of the baby's weight was on his chest and not on his arms. It wasn't affecting his breathing.

"Doctor Kimura said that maybe with Henry in here you won't get into a rant again."

"Did you hear it?" Spencer asked just loud enough for it to travel through the mask but not loud enough to startle Henry who was just smiling up at him, reaching his hands out.

"No, just Hotch. I'm sure that whatever Morgan said, he deserved your little telling off."

Spencer just nodded. He was getting tired now. He leaned his head back, settling Henry a little different on his body. He remembered that Jack liked to be held against his body with his head on his shoulder and his legs dangling down. He moved his Godson to that position and Henry settled right down. He closed his little eyes and Spencer smiled down at him. He brushed one of his hands from the top of his head down to the tips of his toes. Henry seemed to melt into him at that. He smiled even brighter.

"Take a nap, Spence. I'll sit here and guard you and Henry." JJ's voice was soft.

"Okay." Spencer closed his eyes again and settled down with Henry in his arms and JJ and Hotch there, protecting them both.


	26. Interlude VIII-Shocked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S5-Nameless, Faceless

Spencer hated not knowing and at the moment he knew nothing. He knew Hotch was in the hospital. His cell phone was beside him. Given that he was out of surgery on his leg and that there was an active case going on, he'd talked the nurses into letting him keep it. As long as he didn't live on it. He'd texted the team when he'd got out of surgery but no one had replied to him. No one had even checked in on him. He worried about what that meant about Hotch. The nurses had given him some anti nausea medicine in his drip added to his non-narcotic pain meds. He could suffer leg pain if it meant he didn't relapse and he wouldn't feel that itch under his skin.

Pushing those thoughts away, Spencer grabbed the paper a nurse had brought in for him. He tried to lose himself in the words but he wasn't able to. He read the whole thing but he wasn't able to enjoy it at all. When his phone vibrated on the table, he almost knocked it off in his haste to get to it.

"How's Hotch?" Spencer asked as soon as he had it up to his ear. He hadn't even looked at the caller.

"Spencer?" Haley asked. Spencer pulled the phone back and saw that it was a Private Number. He put it back up to his ear.

"Haley?" Spencer asked back, unable to process anything else. Why was Haley calling him? Did that meant the worst? No she wasn't crying. What the hell was happening?

"Spencer where are you? You weren't with Aaron at the hospital like the rest of the team."

Spencer felt the knot in his stomach working itself loose a little. If she saw him at the hospital, it meant he was alive.

"I was shot on a case earlier in the day. I got out of surgery a little bit ago for damage to my knee. How is Hotch? The team isn't getting back to me and all I know is that there was blood in his apartment and he wasn't there."

Spencer listened as Haley went over all that she knew, including that she and Jack were going into Witness Protection because it was the Reaper. The Reaper had threatened them. He filed it all away.

"Why isn't anyone on the team there with you?" Haley asked when she finished with her story.

"Hotch is important and I'm fine."

"Spencer, you had surgery. Aaron had surgery before you. He's been awake and talking since before you even went into surgery if my timeline is correct. I don't like that no one has checked on you."

"I'm fine," Spencer lied. He knew the road he had to get back to one hundred percent.

"I may not work with you daily but I can tell when you are lying. How close were you to not being able to go into the field again?"

"Close." Spencer didn't even go into the fact that he'd had to have bloodwork done again. The UnSub's blood had got on him. It was always a factor in field wounds with too many injured and not enough medics but the doctor had the other man's blood on him when he'd touched Spencer after the medics started on the UnSub. He had another surgery planned and it would be the final decider on when he got to go home and if he could be allowed in the field again. The brace on his leg was horrid looking, from hip to ankle he had metal and under it was white bandages.

"And you are important, Spencer. You are a member of the team. Even if you and Aaron didn't have this arrangement, he's going to be upset the second that he finds out you are injured and alone. As well as the fact that it's being kept from him because no matter how upset he is at being in the hospital and how much pain he is in, he would have told me. He would have told me that you were shot and he didn't, which means that he doesn't know."

Spencer kept that it must have meant that Hotch hadn't asked about him either to himself. Haley had enough to deal with and didn't need his mood to bother her as well.

"Are you there?"

"Yes, I'm here. Just thinking about Foyet and the case and seeing how we could have prevented it."

"There was nothing. Aaron said that you guys weren't even aware that he was out for blood. Aaron said that the profile was too incomplete but the fact that he stayed in Boston to watch that cop should have been an indicator. Aaron more wants to know how his neighbors never reported the gunshot."

"He was shot!? You didn't say that!" Spencer cried out. He looked up to see a nurse coming at him. He laid back not realizing he'd been sitting up some in the bed. The nurse stopped and glared. He nodded at her, a promise to settle down. "You didn't say he'd been shot."

"No, the Reaper fired a shot near him but it was from a forty four and how did his neighbors not report it. He's in a wonderful area. It's not like shots fired are a common occurrence."

"I don't know. When did it happen?"

"Aaron said that the Reaper was waiting for him when he got home and that he'd gone straight from the jet to home like the rest of you were supposed to do as well."

"I did. I collapsed on my couch. I didn't even try and make it to bed." Spencer figured out the time it would have taken in the traffic that was out last night. He would have made it home at around the same time that Spencer did. Everyone in his apartment complex would have been home. The shot should have at least woke them up. Spencer started to wonder why none of them at least checked on what was happening. If they had, the Reaper could have been caught before he'd been able to get Aaron out of there and possibly before he'd stabbed him.

"Look the Marshalls want me to get off the phone. I just called to ask you to please take care of him. Don't let him do anything stupid. He listens to you. And I know that it's going to be a long while before either of you are up to...what you do but don't shut him out. Don't let him shut you out."

"I'll try my hardest on all of those. That's all I can do."

"I know. Be safe Spencer and keep Aaron as safe as you can, please?"

"I will. You stay safe. Do what the Marshalls tell you. They are the best at this."

"Bye, Spencer."

"Goodbye, Haley."

Spencer set his phone down after making sure it was hung up. He closed his eyes and relaxed his head back on the bed. He'd been in the hospital too much lately. He rubbed his hand at the little bit of skin that was between the top of the bandage and the brace.

Haley and he had grown apart a little in the wake of the divorce but they shared one man in common and that was Hotch. She loved him even if she couldn't stay married to him. He knew that Hotch had never wanted his job to touch his family like that. It was rare that they played a game like this with an UnSub. Their solve rate wasn't a hundred percent but those they didn't catch dug deeper and hid. They didn't attack an agent and threaten his family.

George Foyet wasn't like any killer they had ever gone after.

Spencer remembered that lunch that he had with Hotch, Haley, and Jack. Spencer hadn't wanted to go but Hotch had talked him into it using Haley. When he'd got there though, Haley had seemed genuinely happy to see him. She'd stood up from the booth table and hugged him, kissing his cheek. Hotch had got a less enthusiastic kiss on the cheek and a very brief hug. Even Jack had wanted to hug him.

When they finally got seated, Spencer hadn't been shocked that he'd been placed on the inside seat of the booth. Haley had already taken the side that their backs to the door. It was unfortunately a side effect of eating in diners and the like on cases. It was hard to escape the need to see the doors where people enter and exit. Nothing as bad as Gideon had been after the Bale bombing but it was there. Anyone on the team seeing the exits was good enough for them all. Hotch had settled with his hand on Spencer's thigh and while it helped to calm him down, Spencer hadn't exactly been sure why he had sat like that.

Jack had been a little chatter box telling Hotch all about what he had been doing in preschool. Spencer had been happy to listen to the boy. It had taken several minutes for him to realize that he was the only one listening to Jack as Hotch ordered for both Spencer and himself. He only realized it fully when a cup of coffee was set in front of him. He took a sip to find it prepared perfect for him. He looked at Hotch for a second before turning back when Jack had asked him about the dinosaur toy he had in his hand. It had taken a few starts and stops with answers to Jack's questions but Spencer was able to talk to Jack about the dinosaurs he had brought with him. The boy understand him and was happy to learn all he could about them.

Then Jack had disappeared under the table. Spencer had looked at Hotch and then Haley in shock but Hotch only scooted away, lifting his hand from his thigh in time for a little head to poke out between them. Jack scooted himself up and into the little space made between the two men. Spencer had looked at Hotch again with what was fear on his face. Hotch had only laughed and moved to where he was turned towards his son a little more. Haley scooted over the toys and the questions had become more pressed from the little boy.

Jack had figured out that Spencer knew a lot about dinosaurs and he had spent the entire meal trying to get it all out of his head. It was then that Spencer figured out exactly how intelligent the boy was. Most of Spencer's contact with children was during cases. Even then he knew that many of them asked the same questions over and over as they tried to save all the new information. Jack didn't ask a lot of the same questions. Mainly his questions were about pronunciation of dinosaur names. Hotch and Haley had talked in low tones while Spencer entertained Jack even while they were eating.

When Hotch had finished eating, Spencer had nearly jumped feeling fingers brushing down his neck. He figured that would be it but then the fingers went up again. Hotch didn't remove his hand until they had scooted out of the booth with a tired Jack nestled in Hotch's arms. Haley had been all smiles. Dessert had arrived in the way of ice cream sundaes. Jack had got strawberry, Hotch caramel, and both Spencer and Haley got chocolate. Jack had wanted to try Spencer's and Haley had offered her own but Jack had wanted his. Spencer, seeing that Jack was getting tired had offered a bite of his. Jack had even offered a bit of his back. By the time that the sundaes were gone, Jack had eaten more of Spencer's ice cream than Spencer had, as well as most of his own. He didn't think that the boy should have had that much sugar but when Jack’s eyes had started to droop, Spencer had let the thought go. Jack had been dead asleep when Hotch had placed him in his seat in his mother's car.

The arrival of a nurse pulled Spencer out of his thoughts about his time with the Hotchner family. He was worried about Hotch. Worried about how he was going to do now that he didn't have Jack's visits to look forward to. Jack's birthday was coming up and Spencer was quite sure that it was going to be a stressful time for Hotch. He'd do everything he could to help him. At least everything that Hotch would allow him to do, that is.


	27. Careless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S5-Nameless, Faceless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The show doesn't give us a lot with times on either injury so I've made up what I think is the best based on looking at healing/hospital times online that match as close as possible to Spencer and Hotch's injuries.

Spencer relaxed back onto the couch. A book spread open on his lap. His eyes were seeing the words but his mind wasn't processing them. His mind kept going back to Hotch. The man who had ignored him until the day before. Spencer had texted him every day and nothing. Nothing back until finally Hotch messaged him back. He'd read the message and was shocked that Hotch wanted to know why he hadn't heard from him. Why he'd seen nothing of him. Spencer chose to ignore the texts. Wondering how Hotch hadn't got the ones before. 

Then a few hours before, Hotch had apologized for missing the texts he'd been sending. He'd just been released from the hospital and given his phone back. He'd been worried about why he hadn't seen him and that was why he had texted like he had. Still though, Spencer ignored the texts. It had been two weeks. Two weeks since he'd heard from Haley. Two weeks since he'd tried to call and get forwarded to Hotch's hospital room to find that he wasn't taking calls nor messages. If he'd been in better shape he'd have gone to the hospital to see him but he wasn't. Getting up the stairs into his apartment had been hell and that was with the help of two neighbors. 

Thankfully, the grocery store a few blocks over delivered and if elderly or laid up, the delivery was free. Spencer always tipped the fee to the person who delivered. A pizza would feed him all day and the next morning for breakfast. He could order double Pad Thai and eat it for days. According to JJ, who was still dealing with the press fallout of both the case and Foyet's attack on Hotch, they were both set to come back to work around the same time. 

He wasn't sure who exactly had circled the wagons around Hotch but he didn't like it. He'd seen JJ once at the hospital and had talked to her every day since then. According to her, Prentiss and Garcia were hovering around Hotch so he figured that it was one of them that had him in a blackout. Probably trying to manage him and it had to be failing. 

Spencer cursed his knee and threw his book across the room. He leaned his head back and shifted enough to lay down some on the couch, his former position causing his hips to hurt. There were only so many positions that he was comfortable in and he could only stay in each one for so long. In an hour he'd have to go to the bedroom just to be able to lay on his side. 

Morgan had mentioned that Hotch was solely focused on Foyet and he should be. Spencer understood. He didn't have anything to work with himself besides his memories and there was little he could add without knowing what exactly had happened with Hotch. He knew a little from Haley but no one on the team had the time to talk to him. 

So his time passed as he watched it pass from his couch and his bed. 

When he couldn't take the position anymore he made his way slowly to his bedroom. What took seconds took minutes now. And it wasn't even a few minutes. It took nearly ten. Even on crutches to get down into his bed. He had his pain killers on the nightstand and popped two of them. He was on a rotating schedule of pills to keep him off of narcotic based pain killers and hopefully pain free enough. Still he could feel the craving for Dilaudid. 

A nap was the only thing that got him through the afternoons. Even in the hospital he'd take a nap. He'd laid on the blankets so he gave up moving to get them and just laid on them. It wasn't that cool in his apartment so he closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep. 

Pain upon waking was normal. It had been Spencer's life for two weeks. But he expected to feel cold. Instead he felt hands on him. Steady hands worked the muscles of his hip and down his good leg to the calf. It wasn't until he tried to roll from his position to another that he realized he wasn't asleep. He was awake and there was someone at his back. A hand on his shoulder and another on his hip stopped him from jerking away and hurting himself. He blearily blinked and realized that his glasses had been removed. 

"Shush," Hotch said. He hands tightened for a second before moving away. "Don't hurt yourself."

"Hotch?" He reached to the nightstand for his glasses. 

"JJ said you were home when I called her three hours ago. So if you were at home why were you not coming to see me? Why were you ignoring my texts? So I called Strauss. She wasn't aware that I didn't know about you. She was rather upset with finding out that Prentiss and Garcia hadn't passed it along. Dave's been working at the office and I told him the day of the attack to worry about the office. Worry about the cases. I've not been in contact with him since then except for his daily check ins on how I am. He was upset when I texted him and asked him why he hadn't told me. He was of the thought that I had been told. I'll deal with Prentiss and Garcia at a later time. Right now, I need to deal with you."

"Hotch." Spencer rolled over now that he was awake enough not to hurt himself. Lying on his bad leg with his other tucked up to his chest was the most comfortable way to sleep but it didn't allow him to move quickly. His hands went right for Hotch's chest. He could feel the bandages under the shirt but he was light with his hands, so he didn't hurt him. "You should be at home, resting."

"I can rest anywhere. Cabs can take me wherever I need to go, even if I am not cleared to drive."

"Haley called me after she left you. She told me everything. She told me what he did to you." Spencer shifted to a sitting position, even with Hotch on the bed. He touched the top button of Hotch's shirt and worked it open. He worked everyone open under it as well. It wasn't until he had the last one open that he parted the shirt. He touched the edges of the bandages. There was still some swelling it seemed in the areas that were close to his waist and his shoulders. Minimal movements were still movements and had to hurt. "You shouldn't be here."

"I'm right where I want to be. If he was following me before, he knows about you already and stopping seeing you will tell him that you mean a lot to me. Now he won't know whether it's that I don't care about you or that I don't care about him. Either one will piss him off and show him that I am not breaking. I can't let him see me break."

"I understand but you...you should be resting at your place in your bed."

"Your bed is just as comfortable. And you need help."

"So do you!" Spencer cried out. Hotch smiled at him and started to laugh. Spencer just looked at him in shock. He didn't know what else to do but stare at him. Hotch was laughing! _Hotch_ was laughing! 

"Between the two of us," Hotch said in between breathes and laughs. "We can pretty much do anything needed. Reid, please I need..." Hotch turned somber. "I need this. I need to be somewhere that I can make myself believe that he is not watching me and I need a distraction. You told me that you would be my distraction."

"You can't exactly fuck me right now and there is now way I can be fucked."

"You can distract me with words. With being a living body in the room with me. I can't protect myself right now and neither can you. Together though, we stand a better chance."

Spencer just looked at him. Look him in the eyes and just stared. He didn't like seeing the fear in Hotch's eye. If staying there would keep that fear out, he could live with that.

"You are getting an alarm system." The tone was one that Spencer was used to. It sent a shiver down his spine. 

"Yes. Yes. I'd already planned on it. I've not been home long and getting used to being back and living with this...it's been hard."

"I can help now. I can go and get you what you need when you can't get it yourself. I can also order some good pizza and Chinese and even some Thai." It was a thank you. Hotch was strong. Hotch was one of the strongest men that he knew and right now he needed him. He needed Spencer to be strong as well. "I need help wrapping my chest, bathe and you help showering. We can do this."

Spencer nodded. He couldn't do much but he could do what he could for him. He could be what Hotch needed, like he always was. 

The ring of his phone made him jump. Hotch handed it over and Spencer it was his doctor from McLean. 

"Doctor Reid." He listened as he was told the results of the UnSubs tests as well as his own. Nothing transmittable in either result. He needed to be tested again in six weeks. His whole body deflated. Hotch shifted behind him and his hands brushed his shoulders, one finger teaching his scar. "Thank you."

"Who was that?" Hotch asked as he laid his head on Spencer's shoulder.

"The hospital. My blood tests came back fine."

"Blood tests?" Hotch's head shot up and Spencer turned to look at him. 

"Did nobody tell you anything?" At Hotch's shake of head, Spencer sighed. It was close enough to dinner time. "Let's get set up in the living room and I'll tell you everything."

"Sure." 

It took a while to get set up but they did. Hotch at one end of the couch and he was laying with his head in Hotch's lap. 

"Dave told me that the UnSub was shot but not killed. That the doctor and his son were fine. How did you get shot?"

"The UnSub. I pushed the doctor out of the way and protected him while bleeding. I had to shoot the UnSub. While we waited on medics, I kept pressure on my wound and the doctor did the UnSub. When medics arrived, they tended to him first and the Doctor came to me. No gloves and there was a risk of transmission. The UnSub had nothing that was transmittable through blood and that is what the call was about. I still need follow up testing in six weeks but I'm good."

"Why?" Hotch asked. Spencer wasn't completely sure what he was asking about but he had a fair idea. 

"I don't know. But probably because they didn't want to stress you. You have you to worry about, plus Haley and Jack. They don't know about this. I don't know why Rossi didn't tell you. He knows but like you said he must have thought you knew. Figured that the others were keeping you informed."

"I don't know either. If it hasn't been for JJ telling me she'd talked to you, I don't know what I would have thought. And then she said you were finally home and I just lost it. I wanted to know why you were finally home. Then add on what seems to be an HIV scare and I saw where the damage is and any lower and..."

"I was lucky. I know this."

"How much does the team know?" Hotch asked. 

Spencer looked away from him. "JJ knows it all but the rest...they haven't asked other than to ask if I am okay and when I'll be back."

"Because they are worried about me. Well I'll worry about you enough to make up for it." Hotch manipulated him to where he was on his side, bad leg down, back to the couch. He shifted himself to lay in front of him. They were face to face and Spencer closed his eyes. 

Hotch was looking for something that for him wasn't changing. Spencer was there as he always was when everything about himself was being thrown around in a storm. He could be the eye. 

Weeks later, as he took the dressing down from Hotch about lying about his flying status he took it. He didn't even bring up Garcia's comment about him being her bitch. He could see the stress rolling off of him and knew the cause better than any of the rest. Spencer still wasn't in a place medically where anything approaching what their normal routine could be done. Even waking up with Hotch wrapped around him hadn't made him hard until recently, the pain finally fading. But lifting his leg up and bending it left him shaking. Soon he'd be able to help him. Soon he would be everything Hotch needed again.


	28. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S5-Hopeless

Spencer wasn't sure if Hotch was coming over or not. In the weeks that had followed their return to work, the man hadn't graced his bed or even his apartment. Spencer was worried as hell about him. Morgan was second guessing him right and left, though he was too focused on Foyet to even care about anything else. Spencer had even tried to start a round of sexting but it had fizzled because Hotch had never texted back. He knew that Hotch got them. Their texting was monitored with something that Garcia had created. It always showed when the texts had been opened.

Times like this, he evaluated if continuing his relations with Hotch was a good thing or not. He wondered If continuing was hurting him more than helping him. But, as with every other time, he didn't feel that not having Hotch was going to be a harm to him. If he ever started to feel affected in a harmful way when Hotch wasn't around, he'd step back. Spencer shifted down more onto the couch, propping his bad leg up on the arm of the opposite end. It wasn't hurting him too bad after the case but he was babying it a little. 

The loud knock on the door startled him so much that he fell off the couch. It wasn't a knock that he knew so he ignored it. If it was someone who he knew they would call out for him or call him. He grabbed his phone and silenced it before laying it on his chest. He waited for a second knock but none came. Grabbing his MP3 player, Spencer closed his eyes and popped in the headphones. It had been a gift from Rossi following his figuring out that no one had been keeping Hotch in the loop on the status of Spencer. It had been loaded with a mixture of classical music that he loved and other music that Rossi felt he needed to listen to. He liked some of it and it was what he brought up now. He'd figured out how to delete the stuff he didn't like so he didn't have to listen to it. He hit play and waited for the music to start up. He'd feel his phone vibrate if someone needed him. He turned up the music to block out all sounds of the outside world, but not loud enough to hurt his hearing.

Lost in the music, Spencer didn't move for an hour. The track listing that he listened to was one hour, two minutes, and seventeen seconds. He turned off the MP3 player knowing that he needed to eat dinner before going to bed. He pulled his leg up, bending the knee a little to figure out how stiff it was. There was only a twinge of pain, but he settled it with pulling the knee in a little more before straightening, then repeating that a few times before he tried to stand. He sat up and set his MP3 player down before he pushed himself up. It wasn't until he was fully up that he knew he wasn't alone in his apartment. The smell of Thai filled his nose, a little too strong to be from one of his neighbors. He had put up his gun but he spared a glance at the alarm to see that it was still set. He frowned, trying to figure out exactly what was going on. 

"Over here, Reid," Hotch's voice called out from the kitchen area. Spencer looked to see him taking the lids off of three containers of food. He saw curry, Pad Thai, and he wasn't sure what the other was. "You were zoning out and looked so peaceful that I didn't want to disturb you. I was just going to let myself in after I knocked and didn't get an answer and wait for you to come home. I was in here for about twenty minutes before you moved on the couch and I realized you were home."

"You should have just..." Spencer stopped when Hotch glared at him. He slowly made his way into the kitchen. The third container had Pad Thai as well except it was shrimp while the other was chicken. The shrimp was pushed towards Spencer's seat while Hotch pulled the chicken to himself. There was a fork at the spot where Hotch had him set-up to eat. A glass of water as well as a plate for the curry was waiting on him. He dished out some of it before pushing the whole thing over to Hotch. He liked curry but didn't like to make a meal out of it. Instead, he just ate some and always gave the rest to someone else on the team. 

"Eat." Hotch pointed his chopsticks at the seat and Spencer sat down. When Spencer had gotten a few bites into his belly, Hotch started to speak again. "I want a moratorium on all things Foyet when I am here. I need to take a break and I hope that you can give that to me."

Spencer nodded but at the look in Hotch's eyes he chewed quicker and swallowed his bite of noodles. "I can do that. I won't bring him up at all."

"Good. Where are your pills? Is it time for another dose? I know you take them around whatever meals you eat."

"I have them in the pill holder in the bathroom. I can go get them."

"I've got them. I have plans for you and I want to make sure that you are up for them." 

Spencer swallowed even though he had no food in his mouth. He tried to think about what exactly they could do. While he had downgraded on the brace to a more flexible one, he couldn't think of a single position for sex that they had done that they could do where he wouldn't hurt himself. He decided to get through the meal before he even tried to broach the subject with the older man. 

Conversation moved to articles in publications that Hotch had seen that pertained to the job and anything he thought might be interesting. Spencer kept the conversation going but he could tell that Hotch knew he was preoccupied. He ate slow, thinking before speaking. Unfortunately even the thought of just jerking each other off had Spencer hard before the end of the meal. Hotch told him to stay seated while he cleaned up. The containers could just be thrown away but the two glasses, two forks, and his plate needed to be washed. It didn't take the other man long. Spencer shifted around in the chair to where he could push himself up but stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder, holding him down into the chair. 

Hotch dropped into a crouch in front of him. He coaxed him into a kiss as his fingers worked on stripping him of his shirt. Hotch turned him a little to where he was leaning back against the table. He shivered as the first kiss was placed at the spot where the button had been. Hotch worked his way down his chest kissing each patch of skin as it was revealed. He reached out and cupped the back of Hotch's head, holding him close. When the last button was opened and his shirt jerked from his pants he rolled his shoulders until it fell back. Hotch surged up to kiss him as his fingers fell to his pants, working them open, never pressing on his cock even though it was fully hard now. 

"Do you trust me to get your brace off?" Hotch asked as his hands dropped to brush the top of it. 

"Yes." Spencer watched as Hotch's fingers carefully pulled at the straps holding the brace onto his thigh before moving down to the straps at the base. He only needed to use it right now when he was sleeping and working. Any other time he was supposed to take it off but he had been afraid of falling asleep listening to the music or it would have been off already. Hotch supported his thigh as he pulled the brace off, gently. It went up onto the table and then his pants were worked off along with his underwear. He wasn't even so careful when he took them off himself. He was shocked when Hotch spread his legs, slipping in between them. He moved up to his haunches, wrapping Spencer's good leg around his back before gently lifting the bad one and wrapping it around him. There was a bit of burn as the knee flexed but Hotch kept his hand braced under his thigh, taking a lot of his weight as he stood up. Spencer threw his arms around his neck as Hotch's other hand pulled his face in for a kiss. It was intoxicating, the emotion in the kiss. He was distracted from thinking of anything but it until he felt himself being lowered to the bed. As soon as his butt touched the bed, he started to unwrap his legs. Hotch helped him lower his bad one onto the bed before he thrust down into him. The rasp of the other man's clothes over his naked skin had him hissing and arching up into him more. He kept his bad leg straight and relaxed but used his other to press up into the older man. He opened his eyes to watch Hotch's face, what he could see of it. Even closed his eye were expressive. 

When Hotch pulled up and away, Spencer kept his eyes trained on him. 

"Morgan doesn't understand."

"No, not right now. If I had been there, I would have probably walked away before you. Suicide by cop is never good especially when we know that the person is doing it just to escape jail and not because they are depressed and don't see another way out. I have faith in you. I trust you."

Hotch crashed their mouths together again, kissing him with everything that he had but he didn't close his eyes. It was strange for Spencer to just keep seeing eyes but he couldn't look away. He couldn't break that connection. Hotch's body was hovering over his. He wasn't sure if he wanted the friction of his body on his or not.

"If you want to do anything, you kind of need to get naked. Unless you want to come in your pants like a teenager," Spencer said as he pulled out of the kiss. He had to breathe and being the focus of Hotch's stare was making it hard for him to breathe. 

"Aren't you a little talkative today?" Hotch asked. He laughed but pushed himself up off the bed. Spencer followed him to a sitting position and as Hotch moved to step back, he grabbed his shirt keeping him close.

"I have you where I want you."

"Aren't I the one that is supposed to be saying that?" Hotch looked at him like he was indulging him but the second that he went for the buttons of his shirt, Hotch tensed and the look on his face went completely to blank. Spencer grabbed the shirt even harder, so that he'd have to jerk to get away from him. Hopefully, Hotch wouldn't because it would hurt his leg. "Reid."

"No. It's naked or you can leave. I won't have you try and hide them. So make up your mind." Spencer just stared at him. He hoped that he didn't trigger Hotch's stubbornness too much. "And if you leave, you don't come back until you are ready to show them to me."

Hotch just stared at him. Spencer was sure that he was going to leave but he didn't. He just stood there. Staring. Spencer didn't look away and he didn't let go. Hotch deflated from one second to the next. It wasn't a defeated give in, it was one of relief. Spencer pulled him the half step closer so that when he exhaled, Hotch's shirt ruffled. He untucked the shirt totally from his pants but he didn't work on the buttons. He buried his head in in Hotch's groin then Spencer mouthed at the cloth. He stopped only because Hotch grabbed his hair and tipped his head back. 

"If you are going to do that, take me out." Hotch let go of his hair but Spencer didn't do as he asked. Instead, he shifted to where he was sitting straighter and slipped his hands under the back of Hotch's shirt. He'd never just explored the man's body before. Hotch had done it to him plenty of times before but he'd never been allowed to. He was going to make the most of it. He wanted to see the scars yes but he wanted to make sure Hotch knew that the healing scars didn't make him less in Spencer's eyes. He dragged his hands from back to front, settling them just under Hotch's scars. He brushed his thumbs up, just barely touching the edge of one scar. 

"Look at me," Spencer whispered. He waited until Hotch's eyes were on him before he leaned in and lifted the shirt a little with his fingers. When he could see the first scar, he stopped lifting the shirt. He kissed it, reverently before licking it. Hotch shuddered but didn't pull away. Spencer took it as permission. He slid his hands up Hotch's chest, mapping it with his fingers under the shirt. Taking in the location of every single scar. He tweaked Hotch's nipples before he started stand. 

"Reid." Hotch started but at the look from Spencer he stopped. Spencer kissed at Hotch's throat as he settled on his feet. He slowly worked the buttons open on his shirt. When he had the last open, he slid his hands down the older man's arms, to work his cuffs open. Once they were open, he slid his hands back up, never taking his lips away from Hotch's neck. He brushed the fabric down Hotch's arms and let it fall to puddle on the floor. 

Taking Hotch's mouth in a kiss, Spencer trailed his fingers down the other man's chest. He stayed away from the scars, touching everywhere else. Instead he focused on kissing Hotch like he'd never kissed him before. He jumped a little when Hotch's hands settled on his waist, bringing their groins in contact. The drag of cloth on his cock had him moaning into the kiss. He allowed Hotch to do as he wanted while he brushed his thumb over the topmost scar. Hotch's breathing stuttered but he didn't pull away. Spencer mapped every scar with surer fingers, ever gentle but not timid. 

"I want your mouth on me," Hotch said into his mouth before he pulled even farther back from him. 

"It was on you."

"No, down..." Hotch swallowed and took a hold of one of Spencer's hands and laid it over one of his scars. Spencer smiled and ducked his head not to touch his chest but to lick at his collar bone. One of Hotch's hands landed on his head and tried to push him farther down but Spencer resisted. Hotch growled a little but Spencer just looked up at him. 

"You gave me control the second you gave me an option on sucking your cock or not. So either take it all back or enjoy what I am doing."

"Should we lay down?"

"This is better for my knee. I'm less likely to hurt myself like this. If I lay down sometimes I forget and move funny." Spencer nipped at the skin just above Hotch's left nipple and moaned when the hand on his head threaded itself in his hair and tugged, just hard enough for him to feel it. He felt his cock jump at it. He worked open Hotch's pants, brushing a finger up the length of it for fun. 

Spencer took his time as he kissed and laved at each scar, Hotch's cock stayed hard the entire time and was leaking by the time that he got to the last one. Spencer couldn't help licking at the head. He was seated on the bed again, Hotch had taken a step back so that he could lean over and not have to have his neck at such a sharp angle. 

The only warning he got that Hotch was taking back control was the hand in his hair went from gentle to rough as his head was forced down farther onto the cock. He sucked as he was pushed down, taking him near all the way in. He'd done what he needed to. Hotch shouldn't feel self conscious about his scars at all. Hotch thrust in and out of his mouth a few times before he pushed a little farther in. Deepthroating him was easy now and he enjoyed it. 

Before Spencer was done, Hotch pulled him completely off his cock, pushing him into an upright position before pushing him all the way back onto his back on the bed. He watched as Hotch stripped naked. He grabbed the lube from the nightstand drawer before tossing it on one of the pillows. 

"How are you at sitting with your back against the headboard?" Hotch looked down at him before settling his knee between the V made by Spencer's thighs. He hand went right for Spencer's bad knee. He was used to Hotch manhandling him but he didn't tense. Instead he relaxed more. Hotch leaned over him, kissing him. The older man gently lifted his leg to where he had his foot propped on the bed. His fingers were gentle as he mapped Spencer's own scar. Hotch pulled back and motioned for him to move up the bed. Before he could though, Hotch placed an open mouthed kiss on his knee. 

Spencer settled himself in his comfortable position on bed, his bad leg straight and his good leg bent slightly but laying flat on the bed. He wasn't sure what kind of sex act they were going to perform but the only thing he could think of was mutual masterbation. He cursed his leg but stopped at the look Hotch was giving him. He didn't know what to call it. If it had been anyone else, he would have called it love. He'd have to call it fondness. Hotch was vulnerable, that had to be why he showing any emotion other than lust. It wasn't directed wholly at him. Just a release. 

Hotch grabbed the lube up again as he moved to straddle Spencer's legs. He wasn't shocked when Hotch's lube coated hand slid up and down his shaft. He expected the older man to settle down on him but he didn't. At least not in the way that he thought. 

Lips on his, Spencer closed his eyes and reached out to touch. He settled his hands on Hotch's hips and moaned as the man drove him crazy. He was shifting just right to tease Spencer's cock with his ass cheeks. It wasn't until he felt a hand on his hair, holding him in place and realized that Hotch was doing more than teasing that he opened his eyes. Hotch was staring down at him as he slid down on Spencer's cock. Seeing Hotch's face this time did something to Spencer. He wanted the safety of closing his eyes but he knew he wouldn't get it. He couldn't look away. 

"Okay? I'm not hurting you right?" Hotch asked, his voice barely audible over the thudding of Spencer's pulse. Spencer shook his head. "Words."

"You are not hurting my knee, Hotch." 

"How do I feel? Wrapped around your cock." Hotch's thrusts up and down were slow but Spencer felt like he could come at any time. 

"Hot. Tight. Good. Hotch, please." 

"Good. You are so good. Asking. Jerk me off. Make me come first and then you can." Hotch's hand didn't let go of his hair but he was drawn into a kiss. Hotch's pace was picking up. Spencer let go of Hotch's right hip and felt around until his fingers brushed the cock. He heard the snap of lube cap and the some was drizzled on the head. He smeared it up and down before trying his hardest to make Hotch come. The man was driving him crazy. Clenching his ass tight as he slid up. Driving himself down hard and fast. It wasn't until Hotch's rhythm stuttered that Spencer even realized that he had came. He was so focused on what he was doing he didn't feel the release coating his hand. 

"Please?" Spencer begged. 

"Yes. You can come now," Hotch whispered against his lips. Spencer threw his head back, slamming Hotch's hand into the metal bars. He came with a cry that Hotch didn't even try and muffle. Spencer felt a hand on his bad leg, just at the calf, holding it down. Making sure he didn't hurt himself. 

Spencer relaxed down into his bed, letting the headboard hold him up. He was tired. It was like he was floating a little. He felt Hotch lift off his cock and move away. He came back some time later with a washcloth and cleaned Spencer up before helping him settle on the bed laying down. Before Spencer could get his mouth open, he felt the brace being slid up his leg. He reached to help but his hands were batted away. His incision site was checked over and he felt a kiss being placed on it. 

"You are healing up good."

"Yes," Spencer said lazily. His eyes were on Hotch who was looking at his leg. 

"Let's get you covered up." Hotch finished with his leg brace and then covered him up, pulling his glasses off his face. Spencer rolled onto his side. He'd gotten used to sleeping like that. He pulled the blankets up to around his neck and settled in.

Spencer was almost fully asleep when he felt the bed shift. His first response was to reach for his glasses. His hand flew blindly towards where they were normally but was caught. 

"Shhh," Hotch said. Spencer felt the bed shift more and then a body was pressing in along his back. "It's just me. Can I hold you?" 

"Yes," Spencer said, closing his eyes. He'd kind of gotten used to Hotch sleeping in bed with him between getting shot and going back to work. But this was different. Hotch was pressed in along his back with an arm around his waist. He slipped his other arm underneath Spencer's pillow. Hotch was cradling him. It was more intimate than anything they had done. He wondered exactly what was going through Hotch's mind. He wondered if he was thinking of Haley while wrapped around him. He willed himself to sleep before Hotch could utter her name.


	29. Interlude IX-Grave Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S5-The Slave of Duty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Mother's Day to everyone everyone! 
> 
> And I am so sorry. When I set up my posting schedule I did not mean to have THIS chapter posted on Mother's Day.

There was something about graveyards that Spencer liked. He knew that it was weird. but he had a feeling it had to do with the fact that the people in the graveyard weren't judging him. There had been a graveyard not far from his house and it was his go to spot to be alone growing up. He had waited until just after dinner to walk into the graveyard. He wanted to be alone and after dinner was a good time. He parked at the edge of the graveyard, the road leading into it, and walked in. He was still using a cane but the movement was good for him at the moment. He took his time to arrive at his destination, looking at all the headstones as he passed. Some were so old that he had to lean over and sometimes even crouch to read them. 

The sun was beginning to set and it was casting shadows all through the graveyard. It had him thinking of Halloween. He adored Halloween. It was his favorite holiday. He used his own birthday as the excuse time and again, but it was the mysticism of it more than anything else. The fun to be had. He also found that the costumes people wore told him a lot about them.

It was peaceful in the graveyard. Serene and beautiful, for all the sadness it represented. Spencer found the fresh grave and sat on the bench. He figured it was where Hotch sat when he came to talk to Haley. He'd overheard Rossi talking to him on the phone. Discussing Hotch's return to work and what they were going to do until then. The rest of the team had been shocked but to Spencer Hotch had made the only choice that would save himself. 

The team, and Morgan especially, didn't understand him at all. Or his relationship with his own son. Jack looked up to Hotch and maybe it was because Spencer saw them together in a different setting than the team. Jack wouldn't be able to understand his dad quitting his job. 

"Hello, Haley," Spencer said as he finally looked at her grave. There were flowers, fresh and fake littered all over the top of the mound of dirt. He smiled as he laid his own flower on top. White roses had been Hotch's pick but Spencer had a yellow one on him today. He arranged it to be the top most. The other flowers were starting to wilt and he knew that the groundskeepers would be pulling them soon, his own flower with it. 

"You made me promise that I would take care of him until he no longer lets me. I think that it's going to be a long time before he wants to let anyone in. I don't even know if he is going to let me in anymore. He's taking the time that Strauss gave him and spending it with Jack. Even if he doesn't allow himself to come back, i'll do whatever I can for him."

Spencer watched as a car drove by from the back area of the graveyard. It was even darker now so the car had its headlights on. Spencer closed his eyes as the lights shined over him. When he felt the light leave, he opened them again. 

"I don't want to hurt him but I can't let him hurt himself. If I feel that he is using me to hide away from the world, if he's hiding behind me instead of trying to find someone, I'll put a stop to it. You knew he needed it. Things may not have been the best near the end of your marriage but you never denied him what he needed. I don't know if you did it out of fear or you truly understood what he needed and you knew that you couldn't give it to him.

"I don't know what I am going to do now though. I won't talk to Rossi about this. Even though he knows. Even though you always started the contact, I knew that if I needed to talk, you'd be there. You know Hotch in ways that I don't. And even just coming here tonight, I feel weird. Talking about sex with a dead woman in a grave. 

"You never made me feel like the mistress. Even though you had every right. It made it better. Made me feel better. Even in New York, he never crossed that line. Never made me feel scared of him. Even after I slapped him, if I'd have said Quantico, he would have stopped."

Spencer sighed when he felt his phone vibrate. He ignored it. They had been promised three days of office work before going out given Foyet and then the case they had been called from Haley's funeral for. 

"Jack is going to grow into a fine young man. Maybe a little driven because of Hotch, but is that ever a bad thing?" Spencer remembered Morgan and the man trying to get Spencer on his side about Hotch needing to take Strauss's offer. He'd thought that Spencer would be his ally. "Morgan lost his father in the line of duty. He only sees that when he sees Hotch staying in the job instead of retiring. He thinks that because my dad left me that I should be pissed. That I should dislike Hotch for staying. I see beyond that though. I see Hotch's love for this job. I know that you never did. Not really. But I see it, Jack sees it. Forcing himself to leave this job would kill him quicker than a desk job would. You wanted him to stay home. Become a nine to five worker but even then he wouldn't have been with you.

"He'd have been looking at deaths and wondering. Seeing body counts add up in town's two states away. Figuring out where we were going and wondering if him being there would get the UnSub quicker. This was the only job I saw myself doing. I would resent the hell out of anyone who made me change jobs to make them happy. Hotch would never say it outloud but he's scared of coming to resent Jack if he left. He's not said anything close to it but I know him. He could lose his life in this job but he could die crossing the street. I could state statistics but they make me feel better. They won't make you feel better."

Spencer stood up, grabbing his cane as he did. He looked at her name on the headstone. "I don't know what I feel for him. I don't know if I am just spinning my own head with the closeness that he wanted while we were healing. I'm good at reading emotions on people, except when that emotion is directed at me. I proved that with JJ. I don't want to lose him and I am so scared of that. I could give him up if it proved to be what either one of us needed, but if I clung too hard and lost him, I couldn't take that." Spencer closed his eyes, swallowed, and then started to move away. He needed to stop that line of thought and he knew it. When he was on the edge of the grass in front of her grave he turned back. "Goodbye, Haley."

The phone vibrating in his pocket again had Spencer pulling it out. 

**_Are you home?_ **

**_Reid?_ **

_Sorry I was busy. No, I am not home at the moment._

**_Okay. Sorry to bother you._ **

Spencer debated for two seconds before typing out his reply. _I am on my way back home though. It'll just take me half an hour to get there._

Spencer wondered for a few minutes as he walked with phone in hand, staring at the lit up screen if he'd misjudged. Hotch was supposed to be spending time with Jack. He looked at the time and figured that Jack was probably asleep. Was Haley's sister watching him? Or did Hotch want him to come to his place. 

**_Do you have your car?_ **

_Yes._

**_Would you mind coming here?_ **

_I can._

**_Reid._ **

_I do not mind coming to your place._

**_Thank you._ **

_You are welcome._

**_Text when you are in the elevator and I'll unlock the door. Lock it and set the alarm when you come in._ **

That was a little troubling to Spencer. He wasn't sure that he liked where Hotch's head was if he was leaving his place unlocked even for the time that it would take him to go up in the elevator. _I will._

**_On the back of the couch will be something. Wear it if you want but come back to my room. Jack sleeps pretty heavy so don't worry about waking him up._ **

_Do you want me to wear it?_

**_Want? Yes. Need? No._ **

_I will wear it then._

Spencer waited several minutes after getting to his car before he started it and joined traffic. He knew he had a go bag in the car but he wasn't going to take it up. He didn't need to be there the next morning. 

Stepping into Hotch's apartment and taking care of locking it down, he smiled to see evidence of Jack. He wasn't there on the days that followed a weekend with Jack. He didn't know what it looked like after the boy had spent time with him. He was happy to see the toys on the table that was obviously just Jack's. He found the back of the couch and wasn't shocked to find a gag on the back of it. Silence. Hotch needed silence. He could give it to him.


	30. Violet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S5-The Uncanny Valley

Spencer's eyes were on the case in front of him. It had been over a thousand dollars, his new toy but he was sure that it was going to be worth it. He'd bought it and left it hidden in a closet in his living room. He'd played with it and liked it. He just hadn't brought it out to show Hotch yet. He opened up the case and plugged in the device to the outlet then he flicked the device on. 

A gasp from across the room drew Spencer's gaze that way. His hand going to the gun on his hip that he hadn't taken off yet. He stopped that movement when he saw Hotch standing right there. Instead he turned off the device and set it down on his pillow. He continued to pull his gun free but instead of just setting it down he moved to the safe and slipped it inside. He'd already opened the safe but had got distracted by the device's case sitting on the chair beside the safe. 

"You did wonderful on the case," Hotch said. He didn't move from the doorway and when Spencer looked at him, his eyes were on the case. "That looks like that case we found in that victim's bedroom closet four cases ago."

"It is. When JJ and I went to the store, I looked at them and was intrigued. After we wrapped the case when you sent everyone back to the hotel, I slipped out and bought one. I had it shipped back here."

"I wanted to get one but I wasn't able to slip out. I see you bought a whole kit." Hotch stepped close and picked up the wand from where Spencer had set it down. He turned it on and Spencer shivered. He'd taken it out and played with it on his arms and legs a few times but nothing too adventurous. It had felt good on his skin and he was more than ready to have Hotch use it on him. When Hotch turned it off and set it back down on the pillow Spencer deflated until the man turned to look at him. His pants were doing nothing to hide the erection that he was now sporting and his eyes were dark with arousal. "Strip."

Spencer's hands went for his tie. He toed out of his shoes and removed his socks next before he slid the tie from his collar. Next he worked on his belt, setting his holster on top of his safe before he turned to keep his back to Hotch, wondering what the man would do. 

"Jessica is watching Jack all night so we don't have to rush. I told her that I need to help one of the team with a lingering issue from the case," Hotch said. Spencer nodded to show that he had heard but he wasn't sure why Hotch was telling him that. When he had his shirt buttons undone, he slipped the cloth from his pants before pulling it off. He heard Hotch moving around behind him but he didn't pay any more attention to him than that. He worked on his pants and when he felt breath on his neck, he thought that maybe he should have paid the man more attention. "Are you okay being blindfolded?" 

"Yes." Spencer reached up and pulled his glasses off. He set them down on the safe. 

"Good." 

Fabric blocked his sight before he could say a thing, then Hotch was tying it around his head, carefully not pulling hair at the same time. When he was done, Spencer expected him to step back and away from him, but instead the hands slid down his neck, gliding down his back and then wrapping around to his front, making his back and Hotch's front flush. He had his own hands already on his pants fastenings but removed them when Hotch's hands slipped to there. Hotch worked them open and then shoved until the pants hit the floor. One of his hands cupped Spencer through his underwear while the other clamped around his waist to keep him still as he tried to thrust into the hand more. 

"Go to the bathroom and lean over the counter. Naked." Hotch's voice was thick with arousal and it had Spencer wanting to be fucked. He was ready to say fuck the device and to just have Hotch take him on the bed right then. A smack landing on his underwear covered cheek had him moving towards the bathroom, slipping off his underwear as went. He felt for the wall and as soon as his hand connected, he let the fabric go so it fluttered to the floor against the wall and out of the way. Out of courtesy he turned on the light even though he didn't need it. He leaned over the area of his counter that was empty. The counter was at the right height and width that he could lay his chest fully down on it. He easily did that and spread his legs. He tried to listen for Hotch but the man either wasn't moving or was being really silent. Then he felt something trail down his back. He couldn't place what it was until he heard the jingle of metal. It was a belt. A hand cupped his bare ass cheek and squeezed. He wanted to open his mouth but nothing bubbled up in his throat. 

The snap of a lube cap was loud as was the opening of the drawer beside him. That drawer only held three things. Extra tubes of lube, extra condoms, and plugs. He didn't know what he wanted anymore. He felt a finger between his cheeks and tried to move back into it more but it pulled away. Another slap landed on the opposite cheek and he stilled. 

"Hold yourself open," Hotch said just low enough for him to hear. He shifted on the counter and reached back, spreading his ass cheeks open. Spencer's face started to heat up. The blunt head of a plug pressed on his hole and he relaxed as it pressed slowly into him. Just before the largest part was to press through, Hotch pulled it back out. The finger was back at his hole spreading more lube around and then the plug as back, pressing in all the way. He moaned as it seated itself. He released his cheeks and relaxed again. "I didn't tell you to let go."

The slap to his ass cheek was harder than any of the others. His mouth fell open in shock. He'd been slowly swelling to hardness from the moment that he'd been ordered to strip, now he was completely hard. They always skirted this, impact play. Little slaps here and there but he never knew if his own hesitance stopped Hotch or if it was the other man's. It wasn't hard to read between the lines and realize that some kind of abuse happened to the other man, whether it was physical, emotional, or both, no one knew. Hotch hesitated like he was waiting for Spencer to say his safe word but he didn't. 

"Sorry, Sir," Spencer said, holding back a smirk. 

"Somehow, I think that was meant as a challenge." Hotch stepped up behind him, his hand rubbing at what had to be faint red mark on his cheek. 

"No, Sir," Spencer lied.

"Lying now are we?" Another smack landed on Spencer's opposite cheek. Just a bit harder than the last. Before he could even think of saying anything, a hand slid between him and the front of the counter, palming his cock. "You seem excited by this. Do you want more?" 

"Please."

"Please, what?"

Spencer's mind blanked. He couldn't think. His mouth tried to form the words. Hotch had to take it as another challenge because he smacked him again. "Please, Sir!" The words tumbled from his mouth. 

"Go sit on the bed, I'll be in there in a moment." 

Spencer shifted to a standing position and then used the counter to guide himself from the room. Once out of the bathroom, it was a straight shot to the bed. He sat down and listened. Hotch was puttering around in the bathroom but he couldn't figure out what the man was doing. The sound of his closet door opening startled him. He turned his head that way and heard a bag being set down. The zip of it sounded and Spencer knew it was a go bag. Did that mean Hotch was staying the night? Before he could ask, Hotch was there in front of him. A thumb traced Spencer's mouth pulling his bottom lip down a little. 

"Slide off my lap or safeword out if it gets to be too much." Hotch sat beside him. Helping him stand up. "Blindfold on or off for this?"

Spencer tilted his head while he thought about it. He wouldn't be able to see anyway and having it on was helping to settle him down. "On."

"Okay. Then come here." Hotch helped him drape over his knees, his ass up in the perfect position. He was the right height to where his toes touched the ground and he was able to brace himself on the floor with his hands. "Try and keep quiet. I want to see if you can." 

The first crack of Hotch's hand on his ass had his mouth dropping open and a gasp escaping. He clamped his mouth shut and mentally counted. Each strike had him riding closer to the edge and he wasn't sure if he could keep quiet. He lost count at eight and wasn't able to hold in his orgasm several strikes later. The hand stopped and Spencer groaned. 

"I think that you like that."

Spencer absently nodded and tried to wiggle to entice him back. But instead Hotch's hand caressed his back and then down to his ass. He wanted more. 

"Up."

Spencer stood on shaky legs. And allowed Hotch to lay him on his back on the bed. He felt boneless. The bed dipped and he felt a wet rag clean him up. 

"You came all over my pants. I wasn't expecting that." Hotch dried him with a dry towel. Spencer was about to apologize when he felt Hotch lean over him. "Glad you got a long corded device."

"Fuck," Spencer breathed. He heard Hotch switch the wand on and exhaled. 

Hotch chuckled. "Have you tried it?"

"Arms and legs."

"Where is no go?" 

"Head. I'll let you know if another pops up."

"Yellow for I need to not go there."

"Yes." Spencer felt the bed shift again and he expected the wand to get close but it didn't. Instead he heard Hotch gasp. He must have used it on himself. To know what it felt like before he used it on Spencer. The first contact between him and the violent wand startled him. Hotch had started on his inner thigh, gripping his knee to hold him still. He grabbed the bedsheets to stop himself from grabbing the hand on his knee. He didn't know what to expect and Hotch kept him on his guard as the wand moved from spot to spot. The sensations were wonderful, better than when he used it on himself. 

When the wand moved up to his chest, Spencer's hand shot up. He aborted it at the last second but still Hotch clicked off the wand. He felt the man move above him and then straddle his waist. 

"Naughty Spencer," Hotch said.

Spencer opened his mouth to apologize but before he could, Hotch was kissing him. He reached up to touch but his wrists were grabbed and stretched above his head. He tried to thrust up to get any kind of pressure on his cock but Hotch leaned back and no connection was made. He heard the whisper of something dragging on the pillow and then the familiar feel of his padded cuffs wrapping around his wrists. 

"Please," Spencer begged but instead of fastening them, Hotch stopped. He could feel the worry. Spencer breathed in and then out. "I'm here, Hotch it's not like that time. I promise. Please cuff me."

The cuffs tightened and the older man leaned even farther over him. He could smell the faint wiff of the man's cologne and stretched his neck up. He nosed until he found nipple and licked it. He could feel Hotch latching the buckles. He took the hardening nipple and sucked, Hotch groaned, pulling back. 

"Stay like that and open wide." 

Spencer shivered at the other man moved farther up his body. Hotch grabbed his hair to hold him in place as he was fed his cock. He took it all the way in, gagging slightly from going too far too fast but he didn't care. Hotch tried to pull him back but he fought it. He swallowed around the head and Hotch's hand went lax in his hair. Spencer had total control of Hotch's pleasure in that moment. The angle was all wrong but he made the best of it. Hotch allowed it for several minutes before he pulled out, forcing Spencer to let him go. Spencer slumped down on to the bed, relaxing his neck. The blindfold was holding tight on his face. Hotch moved off him. 

The click of the wand told Spencer what was coming next. The other man picked back up where he'd left off, Spencer's stomach. The arcs of electricity were maddening on his skin. It was like each one was connected to his cock. He could feel himself hardening again. The back of Hotch's hand brushed his cock with every few passes with the wand. When the man turned the device to the undersides of his feet, he found that they were ticklish. He jerked his leg away from it, not able to hold in the laugh. 

"Ticklish?" Hotch asked but he moved the wand away. Spencer gasped as it came back, the setting higher. He let himself feel the sensations. He was getting closer to the place he'd been in before, that day he'd given into Hotch totally. Before it had been ruined by the metal handcuffs.

"Please."

"Please what?" Hotch's voice was right there at his ear. He heard the wand getting set down then hands were on him. He turned over, the cuffs allowing him to. He tried to gets his legs under him but Hotch pressed on his lower back keeping him down. The man straddled him. "So how did you like that?"

"Good. I want to see how it feels at higher settings."

"Slowly. We go at my pace." Hotch leaned over him, pressing him into the bed. "Don't use it anymore unless I am here. Understand?" 

Spencer nodded his answer. 

"Words."

"Yes."

"Words," Hotch repeated. Spencer opened his mouth to ask what he meant when he felt a hand on his ass and Hotch's body no longer draped along his. 

"Yes, Sir," Spencer breathed. 

"Good boy." Hotch scooted down the bed to where he was on Spencer's calves. As he moved he kissed down Spencer's back, biting at Spencer's side, just above his hip before he slipped totally off the bed. "Tuck your knees up." 

A jingle sounded around the room and Spencer inhaled as he took in the sound of Hotch picking up his belt. Using his hand had been one thing but a belt? He shifted as he thought about it. All he had to do was say his safeword and Hotch would stop. But, Hotch's hand had felt so good and he hadn't disliked anything they had done before. He could give the belt a try. 

"Reid?" Hotch asked. 

"Take out the plug first," was all he said. It was only a second later that a hand was at the plug, gently pulling it out. He inhaled and then exhaled. The first crack of the belt took him by surprise, which he was thankful for. It felt different than Hotch's hands, which was a given, he wasn't sure if he wasn't sure if he liked it or not. He turned his head burying into the pillow under it and waited for the next strike. It came and Spencer realized for the first time that Hotch was very good at it. With no words exchanged, Hotch coaxed him up to his knees, presenting his whole ass to him and his thighs. The next strike landed on his upper thighs and Spencer was very glad that he had his head buried. He whimpered at the pleasure that was now starting to sing in his blood. He'd never taken himself for a masochist. He tried his hardest to keep count but after the third hit, he just couldn't. He floated in pleasure until the belt strikes stopped. 

Whining in displeasure, Spencer pulled on the handcuffs and rubbed his face on the pillow. He felt a pull on his ankle and allowed his legs to be spread on the bed. When he laid down, he felt a pillow under him. 

"You with me Reid?" Hotch asked as the man draped along his back. His cock slide inside Spencer with one solid thrust. 

"Hotch, please." Spencer tried to thrust back on Hotch's cock more but between Hotch's legs on either side of his own and the weight on his back, he couldn't. When Hotch thrust into him again, his skin rubbed on the welts on his ass from the belt and he moaned. He went pliant, just lying there, taking everything that Hotch gave him with each hard thrust inside of him. 

"You look so pretty like this," Hotch whispered in his ear. He thrust hard against Spencer's ass and Spencer came all over the pillow under him. He screamed his completion and slumped onto the bed. He didn't react as Hotch pulled out. He felt lube being spread on his thighs then Hotch's cock was sliding between them. 

"You could have..." Spencer stopped as Hotch manipulated him back to an up position. He slid back between his thighs. Nails scraped across the skin of his ass and he dry orgasmed. Hotch's breath stuttered and he groaned. Hotch leaned against him until they fell to the bed. Hotch stayed plastered to him but slid to the side so that Spencer could breath. He could barely keep his eyes open and when Hotch wrapped his arms around him, he gave in to the tiredness. 

XxXxXxX

Spencer woke up the next morning warm in bed. He was on his front with Hotch draped almost totally on top of him. He needed to use the bathroom but it felt so good, being where he was. 

"Good morning," Hotch said, his voice rough with sleep. The man's hand traveled down and gripped his hip while he thrust his hard cock into Spencer. He hissed at the pleasure/pain of it and gripped the bedsheets. Hotch lubing them both up had to be what woke him. 

"Fuck." Spencer groaned as his cock dragged on the bed with every single thrust. He could feel a wet spot under him and realized he'd been hard for a while. "What have you been doing?"

"Rimming you. You beg even when you are asleep. Begging me to fuck you. I dreamed of you last night. On display in the living room, ass red, cock leaking begging me to fuck you. I woke up hard and there you were, laying there humping the sheets. I wasn't going to say no." Hotch thrust into him hard, coming. Spencer could feel his cock swell as he did. He started to reach down to take care of himself but found his hand stopped. "That's mine."

Spencer rolled over at Hotch's prodding and wasn't shocked when the man spread his legs and slipped between them. His cock was bobbing as Hotch got him exactly like he wanted. His legs spread wide and Hotch's soft cock nestled between his ass cheeks.

"Grab the bars," Hotch said as his hand wrapped around Spencer's cock. "You liked last night."

"Yes." Spencer had no reason to lie. He'd come by just Hotch's hand on his ass. He'd learned something new about himself and Hotch wasn't going to make him feel ashamed from it.

"We can play more with that but for now, let's see how good out are at obeying orders." Hotch's hand that wasn't wrapped around his cock, slid low behind his balls, pressing a knuckle into the flesh just behind. Spencer's eyes rolled up in his head. "Come."

Spencer did. His release coated Hotch's hand and Spencer's own chest as the man milked him for every single drop. A finger slipped inside him and Spencer cursed as it started to brush his prostate, milking him for even more. When he had nothing else left to give, he slumped onto the bed and just watched Hotch watching him. After a few seconds, Hotch wrapped Spencer's legs around him, leaning up and kissing him. Spencer kissed him back with just as much fervor. It was a nice feeling, kissing him. Waking up with him draped over him. 

"Let's clean you up," Hotch whispered as he pulled back. Spencer nodded and started to roll but hands pressed his shoulders down onto the bed and Hotch's tongue swiped at his chest. 

"If that's meant to arouse, I think I'm done, for days. You woke me in the night and had me ride you, so you could see the marks on my ass, don't think I don't know why I was turned around on you. Then this. I don't know how you can even think of going again."

"I can get it up anytime thinking of you. Especially when I think of being inside of your ass or your mouth. I think I'd have to be dead to not get hard when I think of you and sex."

Spencer didn't know what he wanted to answer to that so he said nothing. He did tangle his fingers in Hotch's hair and drew him up for a kiss when all of his release was gone from his chest. His cock twitched in interest but didn't even try to harden. 

"How does breakfast out sound? I need to eat and I know that you do. I don't think you ate before I got here and pizza at two am is not a good habit. Even if it is good pizza." Hotch mouthed down his jaw and onto his neck. He went down farther and mouthed at the scar on his shoulder. Spencer pressed his head harder into the spot and Hotch rewarded him with a bite. He pressed down harder on his head and the bite turned harder until he felt his sharper teeth pierced his skin. He felt Hotch thrust against him and groan. When the other man pulled back he licked at the slightly bleeding wound. "No one would ever believe any of this about you."

"I'm shy and intelligent, there are those who know that we can get into some downright kinky things in the name of trying something for the first time."

"I enjoy this side of you. We'd better get up and get showered. That's going to need gauze to stop blood from getting on your shirts." It didn't stop him from mouthing at it again. When he was done, he groaned and shoved himself up off the bed. He pulled Spencer up after him and plastered himself along his back as they moved to the bathroom. He remembered the rag bath he'd got from Hotch just barely and knew that he needed to take a shower but he wasn't exactly how clean he was going to get with the man 'helping' him. It was still going to be better than showering alone.


	31. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S5-Solitary Man

The knock on his door surprised Spencer. He looked at the clock, closing his book, it was eight at night. If it was Hotch, he'd just let himself in. Spencer looked out the peephole and just stood there. It was Hotch. Spencer looked at his door. It was locked but not deadbolted, nor chained. He hesitated before opening the door. Hotch smiled at him but he didn't move to enter the apartment. 

"Hotch?"

"Have you eaten dinner?"

"No. I was getting ready to order something in." 

"Do you think we could go somewhere to eat and talk?" 

Spencer frowned but nodded. He grabbed his bag, slipped on shoes, then they were off. All the way down the stairs, Hotch's hand sat heavy on his lower back. He expected to be lead to Hotch's car but instead they turned to the left as they exited the building. There were several restaurants that direction. He was very shocked when Hotch opened the door to one of the finer establishments. It was a newer place and had reservations going forward a month at last Spencer had heard. It was dark inside, intimate but secluded. 

Each booth had high walls on three sides. The inner seating area was blocked from the outer by a wall. Privacy was what the place was known for and that was the only reason that Hotch had to have chosen it. The maitre'd escorted them to a table in the farthest corner away from the door. The only light came from the lamp above their table, angled inward so that not much light escaped the edge of the booth. Hotch motioned for him to sit before he took his own seat. A menu was sat down in front of him and it wasn't a shock that the menu was in French. His grasp of languages was expanding at a large rate. He'd learned Russian not long after the case that the team had helped Prentiss's mother with. He might not be able to speak the languages with anything passing a good accent but he could read them. A scan of the menu told him what he was going to order and he set the menu down.

Hotch was looking at his own menu with a careful eye. Spencer could tell that he wasn't upset. He wasn't unsure. He was the same as he has been since Haley's death. The sadness to him was lighter though, spending time with Jack was helping with that. Spencer was sure that he'd be spending a lot of time with his son from here on out. Spencer wondered why Hotch wanted to talk out of Spencer's apartment.

The waiter came and took their drink order and Hotch ordered an appetizer. He was shocked that Hotch ordered in near flawless French. Spencer hid it though by unrolling his silverware and draping his napkin on his lap. When he looked up, Hotch was staring at him. He didn't duck away this time, he just looked back. He'd not paid attention to what the man had ordered to drink so when two wine glasses were set down as well as a bucket with a bottle of wine, Spencer just raised an eyebrow. His glass of water was set down as well as one for Hotch. 

"We walked and I took a cab as I planned on drinking. I have seen you order this wine at some of the places Morgan drags you out to and if I guessed right, it'll go with what you are probably going to order."

"You think you know what I am going to order?" Spencer was intrigued about that. He sat back, crossing his arms as Hotch poured him a glass of wine. Hotch just smirked at him. 

"I do and I am ready to put my money where my mouth is, so to speak."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. Loser does the fucking next time." 

Spencer was glad that he wasn't drinking anything at the blunt words from Hotch's mouth. Hotch only smiled at him. There wasn't really a downside to being the loser but the thought of fucking Hotch without being restrained was intoxicating but he also didn't want to lose just to be able to do that. 

"You are on," Spencer said. 

"Good." Hotch toasted with his glass and Spencer picked his up to clink them together. 

"Jack doing okay?" Spencer asked and Hotch nodded. Spencer didn't like to ask at work as it got the others going and Hotch didn't need that. 

"It's a big adjustment for him. And for me. Even with Jessica's help, it's a process. We are taking every day as it comes."

"That's good."

"He has a good psychiatrist. He's bureau approved and has the full scope of the case so that he can talk to Jack about it as he gets older. They have built a good rapport so far. I am not that worried about him as far as that goes."

"Then what are you worried about?"

"If or when I decide that I need someone else in my life. Another parental figure for Jack. How he is going to react. He doesn't have many memories of his mother and I and while we never fought in front of him after the divorce, he never really commented about her and I getting back together either."

"Some kids know that mom and dad are better apart. And some just want normalcy back."

"Is that what you wanted?" Hotch asked as he took a sip of his wine. 

Spencer looked at his own glass, twirling the stem of it between his thumb and pointer finger, watching the liquid inside slosh around. "My father couldn't handle it so he left. I knew why he left but I also knew that he knew that he was leaving a child to deal with something that they should never have to deal with. I wanted to talk him into staying but that moment that he left, I didn't want him back. He lived so close all that time and never once helped us. He put money in the bank to pay bills and get her medicine. He had to have talked to someone because the summer I turned eleven, I broke my arm. There was money in the account, more than normal and the neighbor took me to get my cast off because mom wasn't lucid enough at the time. If he had the neighbors spying, why didn't he care? If he had stayed, he would have hated me, hated mom. It was better he left but couldn't he have at least stopped by to see me after school? While I was at Cal-Tech? Yeah, he followed my school career then when I started here but it's nowhere near enough."

Spencer set his wineglass down after draining it. He looked up into Hotch's face. 

"No matter how much he gets to see you, it's better than nevering seeing you at all. Jack loves you and nothing will take that away as long as you show him you love him back. Don't give that up."

The waiter appeared and set down the appetizer. It was a platter of various appetizers. One of which was escargot. He reached out and grabbed the tongs and the fork before selecting one of the shells. Hotch watched him pull out the meat before eating it. The older man said nothing as Spencer set out a few of the other things from the large plate onto his smaller one before tucking into them. He was halfway through his appetizer when Hotch picked up the tongs and fork to eat his first snail. 

Spencer didn't watch him eat it, he paid more attention to his own food. It wasn't long before the only thing left was his last snail. He reached out for where Hotch had set the tongs after his last one and found that the man had picked them up again. 

"Last bite?" Hotch asked as he dug out the meat. Spencer just watched him. The man slid out of his seat with the meat on the fork and sat at the edge of Spencer's seat. "Open." He didn't even think about not doing it. He opened his mouth just big enough for the bite of food and closed it when it was inside his mouth. The drag of the fork out of his mouth, catching his lip was sensual. Hotch's free hand slipped down and around to his hip. He felt the press of fingers in his skin. Hotch followed the path of the fork in reverse, pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth. "So good to me and so tempting."

"Is that why we are here and not at my apartment? Afraid that whatever you need to say would get," Spencer reached out ran a hand up the inside of Hotch's thigh. Stopping just shy of where hip and groin met. "Pushed aside for other languages?"

Hotch pressed his hand down into his thigh, trapping it there. "We do fall into sex if we are alone. It's not a bad thing but I did want to discuss things with you."

"What things?"

"After we eat." 

The waiter set down both of their dinner dishes. Spencer looked up at Hotch's face. He hadn't heard him order anything for their meal. Yes, the appetizer and the wine but not a dinner. He looked at the Bouillabaisse that was set in front of him and the Coq Au Vin that was at Hotch's spot. He couldn't hide the disappointment at the fact that he'd lost. 

"That look tells me that I get fucked soon." Hotch kissed him hard on the lips before going back to his seat opposite Spencer. He tucked into his food and while they were silent as they ate, it wasn't a bad silence. It was comfortable. It was something that Spencer was happy that he had. That they didn't need to talk. The wine was gone by the time that the waiter cleared their empty plates and Spencer was a little saddened by that. Then the waiter was back with a tumbler of something for Hotch and what smelled like a caramel latte for Spencer. 

"I know you didn't order this, Hotch."

"I had the order placed for us before I got to your apartment. I know the chef here."

"So you were never going to let me order what I wanted for dinner were you?"

"No." Hotch didn't look upset at all about it either. He looked smug. "I know what you order at places like this. JJ likes to force these kinds of places on us during hard cases to badger us to be civil to one another. It works but it also means that I focus on everything but the case. I could probably order for you at every single place we go to and get it right."

"Are you going to put your money where your mouth is on that as well?" Spencer asked.

"Same bet?" 

Spencer nodded. 

"You are on."

"The house always wins in the end," Spencer said before taking a sip of his latte. It was heaven in his mouth. Hotch just smirked at him. 

"Is there really a winner and loser in this?" Hotch sipped his drink then his entire body language changed. He set the tumbler down and reached into his pants pocket, pulling something out. He set whatever it was down but kept his hand over the item. "I have Jack full time now. I can't just drop everything now."

"Okay?" Spencer asked. If he was going to stop what they were doing, why was he making bets?

Hotch lifted his hand and there was a set of two keys. He touched the first one before speaking. "Main lock," his hand moved to the second. "Deadbolt."

Spencer stayed silent. He knew what he thought he meant but he was going to make Hotch say it. No one on the team had a key to his place anymore. When the locks had been changed post Foyet, he'd not given a set to anyone. 

"Just because I have Jack doesn't mean that I don't need you as well. The code has changed." Hotch scooted the keys closer before he lifted his hand away. His eyes swept around the room before he looked at Spencer. It wasn't hard to realize when Hotch took his hand and laid a finger in the palm and tapped what he was doing. Paranoia was high still. It was a date that made no sense to Spencer but still he logged it away. "I text and you show up?"

"I can do that." 

"If you need, just text."

"Of course." Spencer took another drink of his latte before looking back at Hotch. "I understand, Hotch. Jack is important but so is your mental health. If we are going to do this with Jack in the same apartment, we will need another gag."

"I've already got several other of our toys to use at home. I have them in my closet. The old leather cuffs, a new gag, I picked up another cock ring."

"You and blue."

"Blue looks good on you." Hotch looked at his watch then drained his drink. He stood up, moving to Spencer's side of the table. Before Spencer could do a thing, Hotch had a hold of his chin and was kissing him. It was a hard, passionate kiss that was meant to excite him and he was a little pissed that Hotch was going to leave when it was done. "Stay and finish your latte. The waiter will bring you another and a Religieuse. I think the flavor is mocha tonight. I need to get home to Jack. Text me when you get home?"

"Of course." Spencer watched him leave and knew that if he even talked about paying the waiter would probably play dumb. That Hotch worried about him and wanted to know when he got home wasn't a shock but it made him feel warm. The latte was gone within minutes. He relaxed into his seat and just let the ambiance soak into him. He would have to see about coming to the restaurant more. The food was fantastic and the seclusion was something that Spencer was coming to love.

"You are not anything like I thought you would be," a man said as he sat down in Hotch's vacant seat. He set down a new latte and something that looked like an very fancy eclair. He was wearing a chef's coat. It wasn't a stretch to figure that this person was how Aaron had got a reservation at the restaurant. 

"And what did you think me to be?" Spencer looked the man up and down. It wasn't hard for his mind to tell him a great deal about him. He took pride in his appearance, even in the middle of a work shift. He had short hair that was styled fashionably. His nails were obviously manicured. He was very fit. His face though wasn't familiar at all. He tried to figure out who the man was but was coming up blank. 

"I can see you profiling me. Aaron always wore the same look every time that we met someone new. I get the feeling that you, Doctor Reid are more of a threat to my mind than my body." 

Calling Hotch Aaron meant that he knew him personally. Spencer tried to go through names of people in Hotch's past. It wasn't Sean, Spencer would know him. The man had brought no food or drink with him and he seemed comfortable. 

"When Aaron told me about you, I thought you would be something more like me but you are nothing like me. He doesn't know that I had plans to come out and talk to you. That kiss you allowed him was very hot."

Jake. Spencer knew exactly who that man was and wondered why, if he was back, Hotch hadn't picked up anything with him. 

"I can see you know exactly who I am. I've been back in town for two years. I offered to start things back up but Aaron declined. I worried that he was pushing down the urges again but then he brought up you. I was shocked when he wanted me to fix a meal up for him and another person but I gladly did it. My waiter said that you and he are very hot together." Jake grabbed the empty latte cup and stood up. "Have a good evening, Doctor Reid."

Before Spencer could say a single thing, Jake was gone. He'd slipped through a set of boothes and into what Spencer saw was the kitchen. He ate the dessert and finished off the second latte before he left. He tried to wrap his head around the fact that he'd met Jake and that the man had been turned down by Hotch. The older man had never brought it up. He'd never even hinted that he kept in contact with Jake. 

After locking the door behind him as he entered his apartment, he remembered that he'd promised to message Hotch to tell him he was home. Looking at the clock on his phone, he was shocked to see the time. It was a lot later than what he thought. 

_Home._ Spencer sat down on the couch with his phone in hand. 

The reply came through seconds later and Spencer wondered if he had been waiting for him to message him or if he'd just messaged at just the right time when Hotch had his phone in hand. **Good. How was dessert?**

_Delicious. I feel like I owe you three rounds of being fucked as I lost three times tonight._

**Really? And just what would you do with me?**

Spencer inhaled as he looked at the words on his screen. If this was going to where he thought it was he needed to not be in the living room. _Whatever you allowed._ Spencer moved his bedroom, tossing his phone on the bed and slipping out of his shoes. He didn't undress any farther. 

**That kind of answer tells me that you need to work on thinking about what you are going to do. That means, for this round, you are mine.**

Spencer shivered as he read the words, sitting down on the end of his bed. _So what are you going to do with me?_

**Whatever I want but first I'd strip you naked. I'm already naked, are you?**

_I can get naked quick._ Spencer didn't even wait for a reply before he started to strip his clothes off. He put up his clothes to be cleaned but threw his underwear and socks into the hamper.

**Look in your dresser, underwear drawer, top left corner.**

Spencer frowned as he moved to his dresser. Hotch had obviously slipped something into the drawer and he hadn't realized it. There in the back was a rolled up pair of boxer briefs. The exact style that he wore. In the same blue that all the rest of his toys were. _When did you slip those into my drawer._

**My last time over. Put them on and get on your bed with lube out.**

Spencer pulled the underwear on and laid on the bed. He set his phone on the pillow at his head while he rolled to grab the lube. _All sprawled out._

**What color sheets do you have on the bed?**

Spencer had to look because he'd changed them in a rush before the last case, waking up with his alarm going off after having a wet dream. _Pink._

**I think I remember seeing those in your closet. Lube up your hand and slip it inside your pants. DO NOT take your cock out of your underwear.**

Spencer whined as he did what Hotch told him to do. His cock was hard long before he touched it for the first time. His phone went off again before he could even think of trying to type out anything back to the man. 

**We are working, it's been a long case. I slip into your hotel room and cover your mouth with my hand as I surprise you in the bathroom. Before I can say anything to you, we hear Morgan come into the shared room.**

Spencer nearly dropped the phone as he thought about it. 

**You are still dressed so I slip my hand inside. Gripping your cock. I keep my other hand over your mouth so that Morgan doesn't hear us.**

The image of Hotch behind him in the mirror coupled with the thrill of having to keep quiet so that they weren't discovered had Spencer stopping the slide of hand on his cock. He didn't want to come too soon. 

**You work your pants the rest of the way open and give me access to your hole. I abandon your cock.**

Spencer hoped that Hotch never did it. Surprised him like that but the fantasy was hot. 

**You moan into my hand as I work a spit slick finger into your hole. Two follow and I can feel you begging. Your lips silent as you utter words into my flesh.**

_Please._ was all Spencer could type. 

**I let go of your mouth and turn you around. Your hands fly to my pants and work them open.**

_Do you want me to get you wet?_

**Yes. You stare into my eyes as you drop to your knees and take me in your mouth. I feel you relax so I thrust all the way in.**

_I grab your hips to pull you in the rest of the way. I swallow around your head._

**You work me until I have to stop you. Your mouth is too good. I pull you up with a hand in your hair. You don't even try and fight as I pull down your pants and line up. One thrust and I am inside of you.**

Spencer started to fuck his hand and the mental image of what Hotch was thinking of doing to him overwhelmed his brain. He heard messages chime on his phone but his orgasm took over. His phone fell from his hand as he jerked himself off until he was too sensitive. 

**I wrap one hand around your mouth again as I hear you start to moan. With the other I turn on the water in the sink, both nozzles. Full blast.**

**I know I am not going to last long so I fuck you as hard and as fast as I can.**

**Reid?**

Picking up his phone, Spencer looked at the three messages he missed. He wiped his covered hand on the outside of his underwear and gripped his phone with both hands. _I came when you entered me._ Spencer was pretty sure that the long silence after that meant that Hotch had probably orgasmed from that message alone.

**We really need to work on you not making me go off so quickly.**

_You need to learn control._

**Cheeky thing.**

_Always._

**Get sleep, Reid. We have a busy day at work tomorrow.**

_You get some as well. You have a morning full of meetings before the database entry starts._

No more messages came. Spencer waited several minutes before he got up. He slipped his underwear off and laid them on the hamper like he had the time before, after using them to wipe himself off. He knew that it would be a while before Hotch would come over but until he did laundry, he could wait. He set his alarm for a little earlier than normal to give him a little extra time in the shower. He didn't clean up anymore than that and laid down in bed. Going to sleep to dreams of Hotch fucking him with only a wall separating them and the team.


	32. Uneasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S5...A Thousand Words

It was still daylight and there were people milling around so Spencer didn't let himself into Hotch's apartment. He tried to think as little as possible about the case and the journals he had read. He figured it was why Hotch had texted him to come over. While he was good at compartmentalizing things, it would take a while to get the words put where they belonged and a distraction was perfect. He figured that Hotch had his ex-sister-in-law watching Jack and wanted Spencer to be out of his comfort zone so he focused less on retreat and more on anything else. 

Knocking on the door, Spencer waited. He listened, not wanting to be surprised when the door opened. He was still surprised though when he heard footsteps. But not Hotch's. Jack's. Because there was no way that Hotch was running to the door. Even though he had the text memorized, he unlocked his phone to reread it as the locks sounded on the door. He was right that it had said to head over as soon he was ready. Had Hotch thought that would be later? Spencer debated leaving but before he could, Jack opened the door. The boy was smiling at him. 

"SPENCER!" Jack launched himself at him. Spencer wasn't sure what to do so he picked the boy up and into a hug. Jack wrapped his arms around his neck and held on. He saw Hotch just beyond Jack's head, smiling at him. Spencer stepped inside the apartment and Hotch shut the door. "You came!"

"I did." Spencer raised an eyebrow at Hotch. 

"Jack has decided that he is old enough to watch Jurassic Park. And who better to watch it with than the dinosaur expert?" Hotch smiled. Spencer moved to set Jack down but the boy held on tighter. "I ordered pizza and I have pop."

"Daddy ordered my favorite pizza and he said that he got yours." Jack pointed to the couch. Spencer saw that there was three spaces set up. Jack's in the middle with his dinosaur cup sitting there. Spencer saw a can of Dr. Pepper on the left with plain Coke on the right.

Spencer looked at Hotch but the man wasn't there. He was in the kitchen area grabbing paper plates and napkins. Spencer moved to the couch hoping that Jack would want down but the boy just clung to him like a limpet. So, Spencer sat down on the couch and Jack just shifted around to straddle Spencer's legs. He was looking at the TV, where Spencer realized that the movie was already started and paused. Hotch joined them on the couch, sitting down in front of his can of pop. Jack though still stayed in Spencer's lap. 

The movie started and Jack bounced in Spencer's lap. It only played for ten minutes before a knock came at the door. Hotch stood and Jack followed him. Spencer motioned towards the back and held up his hands. Hotch nodded. 

Spencer shut and locked the master bathroom door after he entered. He turned the handle on the cold water and prepared to splash some on his face. He hadn't expected Jack to be there at all. Since Haley and Jack had gone into Witness Protection, he'd not been around the boy as much. There was the funeral and a cookout at Morgan's, but Jack hadn't acted like he was right then. Jack was always happy to see him. He always wanted to talk but sitting in his lap? If it was anyone else, Spencer would think that Hotch was putting him up to it but Hotch wasn't that way. He knew that JJ had wanted him to be Henry's godfather, but he knew that part of it was getting him connected to a child so that he would get over the issues he had with kids. She hadn't realized that Haley had taken care of that over time with forcing him to interact with Jack. A lot of it was that kids never liked him. A five year old walking up and talking to him was going to make him nervous because kids he wasn't familiar with didn't get him. 

Splashing water on his face, Spencer sighed. He just had to get through the movie. If the only thing that Hotch wanted out of him was to be a distraction for Jack, or some sort of reference on dinosaurs, he could be that and then he'd leave. He didn't know what he was supposed to be doing and he was thankful that he adapted well. He set a smile on his face before unlocking the door. He half expected Hotch to be there checking on him but he wasn't.

Hotch wasn't in the kitchen either. Instead, he and Jack were on the couch with the pizza boxes spread on the coffee table. Spencer's drink was on the stand beside the couch. Jack was seated in the middle with a plate in his lap. Hotch was back in the spot he had started in. 

"Come and sit, Spencer. Daddy brought your pizza over since you were taking forever washing your hands."

"Thanks, Hotch."

"Your welcome, Reid."

"Daddy!" Jack chastised his father. 

"I'm sorry Jack. You're welcome, Spencer." Hotch smirked as he said it. Spencer didn't answer, he just sat down. As soon as he sat back from getting three slices of pizza out of the box and only his plate, Jack scooted closer.

"Can I sit in your lap to eat?" Jack asked. 

"Um. I...Sure, Jack." Spencer had watched Jack eat in his dad's lap at the cookout as the boy hadn't wanted to sit on the ground. He'd been careful and hadn't dropped a single thing and he only hoped the boy did this time as well. Spencer picked up his plate and balanced it on the arm of the couch while Jack carefully set his plate down and then shifted into Spencer's lap. Hotch handed the boy his plate and Spencer his drink so that he could set it on the stand. Jack put his back to the arm of the couch and got comfortable in his lap, smiling as he did.

"We are ready to watch more, Daddy."

Hotch hit play and started to eat on his pizza. Spencer though was watching Jack's face as he looked over at his father. Spencer was about to say something when Jack opened his mouth.

"You are too far away. Come closer."

Hotch eyed his son for a second before he moved onto the middle seat of the couch. Jack smiled and started to eat on his pizza. Spencer shoved the first slice of his own into his mouth so that he could have something to focus on other than Hotch being so close. Especially when the man draped an arm across the back of the couch. 

Jack's eyes were trained on the TV as he ate his pizza calmly. The boy only shifted a little bit as he sat on Spencer's lap. Spencer ended up eating a little too much of his pizza just to keep from spouting off facts to show how nervous he was about the way they were seated on the couch. Jack asked questions and Spencer answered them, but most didn't need a long answer. When the movie was halfway done, Hotch's hand moved from being on the back of the couch to resting on Spencer's neck. He tensed a little and it caused Jack to turn and look at him but Spencer just smiled, Jack turned back to the movie. 

Hotch's hand started to move. Mainly his fingers, brushing up and down the top of his spine but every few swipes, they would duck over and under his shirt, going right for his scar. Every time that Spencer looked at him, his eyes were on the screen of the TV. Yet when he wasn't looking he could feel Hotch's gaze on him. If it wasn't for Jack in his lap, he probably be half hard. He wasn't sure what Hotch's plans for him were but he didn't think he was going to escape without being fucked. And that was just fine with him. 

Jack was a heavy weight on his chest by the time that the movie was done. He wasn't fully asleep but he was very close. 

"Daddy, can Spencer read to me?" Jack asked as Hotch picked the boy up off Spencer's lap. 

"If he wants to."

"Spencer?" Jack asked, turning his head to look at him. 

"Are you sure, Hotch?" Spencer asked but he stood up and followed them to Jack's room. Hotch tucked Jack into bed after stripping him down to underwear, and handed over a book as an answer. 

_The Tale of Despereaux_ by Kate DiCamillo. Spencer saw the seal that showed it won the Newbery award. He flipped the book over and read the back cover before opening it up to the page that Hotch had left off on. Jack patted the bed beside him and he took a seat there. Hotch stood behind him, brushing his knees against Spencer's back but it was the only point of contact between them. He focused on the book and speaking so that Jack could understand him. Within a page, Jack's eyes were closed more than they were open and by page five, the boy was limp on the bed. Spencer placed the bookmark inside the book and shut it. Hotch said nothing as he took it and set it on the bookshelf in the corner. 

Carefully getting up off the bed, Spencer made sure not to wake the sleeping boy. He backed up right into Hotch, barely containing the gasp. 

"Shush, Spencer." Hotch wrapped an arm around his waist as his lips brushed the side of Spencer's neck. "Don't wake him up."

"I won't," Spencer said.

"Come let me fuck you," Hotch said hotly in his ear. 

"Yes."

Spencer didn't fight Hotch at all as he man near drug him down the hall. The bedroom door was shut with a quiet snick. 

"Jack knocks. He always does. We don't have to worry about that. But what about your mouth?" Hotch's hand gripped the base of Spencer's throat and tipped his head back. His lips were claimed in a hard, passionate kiss. "Can you keep quiet?"

"I don't think that I can. Gag me." Spencer was already so hard in his pants. Keeping quiet was not in his scope of possibilities that night.

Hotch's body shivered and Spencer could feel it. The older man took his glasses off him. He started to work on stripping. He could hear the rustle of clothes that told him Hotch was undressing as well. When he was naked, Spencer moved to the bed and sat on it. Hotch was naked and striding to his dresser. Spencer watched as he pulled a gag out. It was exactly like the one at his place. The color, everything. He opened his mouth as the older man stepped forward. Instead of just stuffing the ball in his mouth, Hotch held his mouth open as he tried to suck his tongue out. 

"Once I gag you, get up on the bed on your back and grab the headboard. I'm not going to stretch you at all. My cock is going to open you up. Come when you want." Hotch released him and shoved the cloth ball in his mouth. The rest of the gag was tied quickly but tightly. As soon as Hotch's hands left the cloth Spencer was moving up the bed. He spread his legs as he heard the snap of a lube cap. He closed his eyes as Hotch moved closer. The breach was slow and gentle and Spencer could barely breathe. When Hotch bottomed out, he opened his eyes to look into the older man's face. He was shocked to find him so close. The man was right there in his face, arm braced on the headboard above him. 

Spencer gasped when Hotch pulled out and slowly slide back into him. His legs were wrapped around the waist of the other man before a rhythm was fully set up. The draw of Hotch's cock over his prostate was maddening as the man didn't move enough to get him excited. It wasn't anything like their normal sexual routine, as much as they had a routine. He wondered if it was because Jack was just down the hall. Afraid to make too much noise. His orgasm surprised him, his back bowed and he cried out into the gag. 

Hotch kept up the same pace, fucking him entirely through his orgasm, past the point of sensitivity and beyond. The man's eyes never left his face. As he came down from orgasm, he realized he'd let go of the headboard and his hands were at his sides, gripping the bedsheets. He tried to make his body start moving the way he wanted, starting with getting his hands back up where Hotch wanted them. Instead though, as he moved his left hand up, Hotch grabbed it and pulled it towards him. Spencer felt flesh under his palm, looking down he saw that Hotch had placed it on his thigh. Slowly, he moved his other hand towards his other thigh and the man started to fuck him harder. 

Hotch's hand slipped on the headboard and Spencer startled as the man sort of fell towards him. He could feel the panting of Hotch's breath as the man got settled on his arm. His other hand was a like a brand on his hip, holding him in place as he was fucked. His fingers curled as pleasure started to course through his body again. The feelings in his body had him closing his eyes. He felt it better with his eyes closed. He also didn't have to focus on Hotch being so close to him. The whole night was messing with his head. Intimacy because of the closeness with Jack was messing with both of their heads. 

Inching closer to orgasm, Spencer found that he just couldn't get over the hump again. He felt lips brush the side of his neck and then there was panting in his ear. 

"I can feel how close you are. Let go," Hotch said in his ear. The older man fucked into him harder and harder, gripping his hip tight and keeping him right where he wanted him. "That's it."

Spencer felt himself let go just as he felt a swell of Hotch's cock inside of him. 

"Fuck," Hotch muttered in his ear. His hips kept slamming into him. "Yes."

Weight settled on him and he felt lips on his shoulder. He closed his eyes again, feeling drained and worn out. He floated on a high as he felt the bed move. He hadn't even realized that Hotch had pulled out of him. His hands barely worked enough to undo the gag in his mouth and when it was out, he just dropped it to the bed. He rolled onto his stomach and snuggled down to sleep. If Hotch had wanted him to leave, he would have used a condom and he could feel semen leaking out of him. He asleep in seconds. 

XxXxXxX

Spencer had gotten used to waking up with Hotch in the same bed. He remembered waking in the night and finding sleep pants and a t-shirt on the dresser for him to put on. The bedroom door had been open but he hadn't thought a thing of it. He kind of wished he had as he could feel a bony foot pressing into him. 

He opened his eyes to see Jack in between him and Hotch. Hotch's arms were encircling the boy, one under Spencer's head and the other clutching Spencer's borrowed shirt. Jack was curled into his father's chest but he was plastered all along Spencer as well. He wondered exactly what Hotch had told Jack about him. He knew that Jack had nightmares, Hotch had talked to him about him during cases, but he hadn't realized that the boy would get into bed with him there. They weren't in a relationship in the normal sense but they had been having sex for nearly six years. Hotch was the kind of person that he could fall for. He had strong feelings for the man but he was unwilling to call it love. 

Hotch cared for him, he knew that he did. The man would be unable to continue like they were if he didn't care for him. Jack huffed out a breath and rolled over in his sleep. The little boy's head went right for Spencer's neck, cuddling in there. It was then that he noticed that Hotch was awake. Dark eyes were staring at him. 

"Good morning, Spencer."

"Morning." Spencer looked at him with wide eyes. Jack was asleep, he didn't need to keep calling him Spencer. 

"Jack is going to want pancakes. And since you are here, he's going to use that as an excuse to go out and get pancakes. If you don't want to be guilt tripped into a breakfast with him, I'd leave now."

"You don't mind me staying?"

"Jack likes you and we have two more dinosaur movies to watch today. I don't have to look everything up on Google if you are here. Plus Jack likes to talk to you about dinosaurs. You are his original hero on that front."

"That feels like so long ago." It really did feel like so long ago, that meal with Haley and too much ice cream for Jack. 

"I know. I showered in the night but if you want one, you can hop in. Did you drive?"

"I did. And I have a go bag in the car."

"Good. I'll run down and get it while you shower. What do you think of leaving some clothes here?" Hotch asked. His eyes were on his son but his hand was still clutched in Spencer's borrowed shirt. 

"I can do that the next time I come over."

"Good. Good. So, Jack's started to wake up so if you want to escape to a shower, I'd do it now." Hotch let go of his shirt and Spencer rolled out of bed. He looked at the pair left on the bed and saw that Jack was minutely moving his legs. It hadn't been noticeable when he was so close but now it was. He smiled at Jack then looked at Hotch who was smiling at him and not at Jack. Spencer turned and moved to the bathroom, trying to not wake the boy but trying his hardest to get in there fast. The door shut with a snick and he was tempted to throw the lock but Hotch still had to brush his teeth and do the rest of what he needed to in the morning. Spending the day with Jack and by extension Hotch was going to be better than being alone. He'd been nervous the night before but Jack was easy. 

Hotch was the hard one. 

After his shower, Spencer found his clothes all laid out for him on the corner of the counter. On top was his glasses. He knew his contacts were in the bag so Hotch had made a choice for him on what he used to see. He didn't really care which he used on days off. After shaving, finding his kit on the counter, Spencer dressed. He stopped at the shirt. It wasn't his. It was a very soft dress shirt in his size but he hadn't bought it. He was shocked it wasn't blue. Instead it was lilac colored. He slipped it on over his undershirt. It was a different cut than he bought. It accented his thinness in a good way. 

The bathroom door opened as he was tucking the shirt in. He saw Hotch look the shirt over before he entered the rest of the way. He stopped behind him. 

"Do you like it?"

"Yes."

"I saw it when I picked up a few button downs for myself. You wear purple at work so I thought it was a safe choice." Hotch buttoned the last few buttons, leaving the top like Spencer always did. "I found a nice tie to go with it as well. I'll give it to you when you leave."

"Thank you."

A present, even if Hotch hadn't called it that. Spencer thought about that as he stepped back to allow Hotch in to do his morning ritual. He had a lot to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I created a prompt collection for anything and everything Criminal Minds and it's two spin-offs here on AO3. We welcome everyone, writers and readers alike, to come and submit prompts and even claim them. You can find it [HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/profilers_anon)!
> 
> Also I have been debating possibly starting a Bang for CM for much later in the year. I don't have a lot of particulars yet but it's been tossing around my head. Anyone interested in reading it or writing in it?


	33. Watch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S5-The Internet is Forever

Spencer shouldered his new go bag as he stepped into the elevator for Hotch's apartment. It was long after Jack's bedtime. Hotch had asked him to come over and bring a bag as he was staying over. It made sense given that Spencer had an early meeting with Garrett from IRT. He'd been wanting his help for two weeks and either their team had a case or his did. He really hoped that Jack was in bed because he was not sure that he could take the boy after their last case. All he could see was webcams, video cameras, spy cams, and death everywhere. His skin was crawling. He was happy that Hotch had reached out first because he wasn't sure if he'd have actually been able to do it.

The doors opened and Spencer stepped down the hall. An older woman smiled at him as she passed by on her way towards the elevator. Spencer smiled at her before he started to pull out his key ring. He'd added the key to his personal ring, just to be safe. He unlocked the door and opened it. Not expecting the dark room. He almost pulled the door shut and backed out but he felt more than heard someone step up behind him. He stopped moving. A hand removed his bag from his shoulder before he felt another in his hair.

"You said you were getting it cut. I expected the normal Spencer Reid haircut. I was not expecting this. I saw you get out of the cab. Jack's asleep and I am not going to gag you. Don't worry, we are staying in the living room and he will sleep through it all." Hotch pushed him into the apartment, shutting and locking the door behind him. Spencer's eyes were adjusting to the dark but not quick enough. He heard the bags drop to the floor and turned towards it only to see nothing. 

"This case was bad for you and I understand that. So I think I found a compromise. I have blocked all light to this entire room. No windows, no light from the back part. No one can see you. No one can see me." Hotch was right behind him as he spoke this time. His breath exhaling on Spencer's neck. He felt hands moving down his sides and going for the button on his pants. Fucking in the dark sounded good. It would be better than begging to be blindfolded like he was going to do. "No one can see what I am going to do to you." 

"Please, Hotch."

"Strip." 

Hotch didn't allow him to do that though. He grabbed Spencer's arm and pulled him over. Setting his hand on the back of the couch. Spencer was thrown for a second before he realized what it was. Hotch was making sure that he knew where he was. Giving him a point of reference. He stripped easily, laying his clothes on the back of the couch. He hadn't got a lot of sleep on the case and he'd slept before their flight had left and on the jet so he was awake. Hotch had to have been dressed to have been out in the hall waiting on him but by the time that Spencer was naked, he hadn't heard a single noise from the other man. He hadn't seen what the man was dressed in either so it could have been shorts and a t-shirt, easy to remove and could be done with little to no sound. 

Slowing his breathing, Spencer listened and tried to figure out where Hotch was. He moved silently through the apartment, around the side couch and towards the TV. He heard the sound of movement near where he had been. 

"Sneaky," Hotch said. 

Spencer didn't say anything at all. He just breathed and listened. He tried to track Hotch but was unable to. He moved to try and find a place that was a little harder to find him when he backed right into Hotch. He gasped and tried to get away but he was too slow. Hands grabbed him and he was pulled back into the older man's chest. A hand slipped in between his ass cheeks and up inside of him. It became two before he could even blink. He wasn't even trying to get away. He didn't want to try and get away. Three fingers entered him as he shifted his feet farther apart. 

"Fuck me, Hotch," Spencer demanded. Hotch pulled his fingers from him and pushed him towards the wall. Spencer connected with it and braced himself. He needed this. He wanted this. Hotch pressed into him with one solid thrust. Spencer moaned and winced as the sound was louder than he wanted it to be.

"I take that back," Hotch said in time with a hard thrust. "Try and keep it down."

"I can't." Spencer muffled his mouth on his arm as Hotch fucked him into the wall. It didn't work though, the angle hurt his neck and he had to turn his face. And on the next thrust, Hotch's cock raked over his prostate and the noise he made was louder than his previous ones. Hotch pulled out of him. "I can be quiet, Hotch. I can."

Hands bodily turned him around and Spencer tried to see Hotch's face but he couldn't. It was way too dark. Hotch had really removed all light. The TV light was gone. The box for cable wasn't showing the time. 

"Brace your hands on my shoulders." Hotch didn't even wait for him to get his hands fully on him before he was lifting him up by his ass. "Wrap."

Spencer wrapped his legs around Hotch's waist. He felt Hotch guide his cock to his hole and he pushed in slow. Spencer couldn't even hold back the moan. When Hotch was all the way inside him, he felt breath on his face and then lips were pressed over his. Hotch pulled out of him and thrust back in slightly harder causing Spencer to gasp. Hotch took advantage of that and plunged his tongue inside of his mouth. Every single moan and gasp and even scream was muffled by the mouth on his. The only time that Hotch's mouth wasn't on his was when the older man needed to breathe. He'd pull back just long enough to exhale and inhale then his mouth was back. 

Not seeing any of it coming had Spencer on edge the entire time. He was sure that if Hotch touched his cock he would come all over both of them. He uttered pleas as well as he could with a tongue in his mouth, Hotch had to have understood him because the man chuckled before he was hitched a little higher. Hands gripped his ass tight, bringing his body in harder and faster on Hotch's cock. The man pulled his mouth away and Spencer gasped as teeth went for his ear. 

"I wanted to take you over my desk when you came in with that haircut. You didn't get it too short thankfully or you'd have a red ass. I can still grab it and hold you where I want so I can fuck your mouth or use it to hold you still while I fuck your ass."

"Hotch, please. Just touch me. Please." Spencer couldn't think. All he could picture was Hotch doing what he said. It was enough to get him just that little bit closer to coming. 

"No. You are going to come on my cock and that is it." Hotch didn't move back to kiss him, instead he kept up with tongueing at his neck and biting his ear. "Come on, Spencer. You know that you want to. Just let go."

"Hotch," Spencer panted as Hotch slammed home inside of him. The other man was coming and at the angle they were at, Spencer could feel it more than normal. Hotch exhaled against his neck and when the man pulled him just a little closer, impaling him more on the spurting cock, Spencer came with a harsh cry. He buried his face in Hotch's neck to muffle it. 

"You are so good for me," Hotch said in a low voice. Spencer could only nod in answer to him. He clung to the man until he couldn't anymore. Hotch seemed to realize it and gently pulled out of him, helping him get his legs down on the floor. "Ready for light?"

"Sure." Spencer closed his eyes until he felt the light on his eyelids. It wasn't strong so he opened his eyes, blinking a few time to get used to the light. Hotch had only turned on a lamp on the table by the couch. He looked around and saw that the man had hung a blanket on each entrance to the room. The TV was unplugged and the time on the TV cable box was taped over. There was a pile of something in the chair that was closest to where they were and when Hotch picked one of them up, Spencer realized it was a robe. 

"For us to wear to go clean up." Hotch picked up the second and Spencer knew that it was his. It was royal blue where Hotch's was a deep red color. Spencer allowed the older man to drape his on his shoulder before he fed his arms through the holes and tied it tightly about his waist. Next he moved to his clothes and picked them up. He wasn't ready to go to bed, even after sex. His mind was still going and he wasn't tired. He turned to look at Hotch who had his sleep clothes in hand. That explained why Spencer hadn't heard a sound of him disrobing. He'd worn easy clothes to take off quickly. 

Wordlessly, they both went to the master bathroom. Hotch pushed him towards the shower while he set himself in front of the sink. Spencer didn't say a thing as he slipped in the glass enclosure. The shower was quick and he was stepping out to find Hotch still in the bathroom. The man was dressed again in his sleep pants and a t-shirt. He was frowning at the pile of clothes that Spencer had brought into the bathroom with him.

"I'm not all that tired. I slept too much before the flight and on the flight. I'll just be a few hours and then I'll be in to sleep."

"Okay. You can watch whatever you want in the living room."

"I brought a few of the cases to look over that Garrett wants help on. I was going to work on them."

"We just got off a hard case. Let your mind rest."

"It's puzzles, Hotch. It's not crime scenes and such. Remember that two of them have no recovered bodies and seventeen missing. I can't just turn it off."

Hotch relented with a laugh and left him alone to get dressed. By the time that Spencer made it out into the living room, his go bag wasn't in there anymore and the room was back to rights. No blankets and the TV was plugged back in. His messenger bag was sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch along with a bottle of water.

"No coffee."

"No coffee I promise." Spencer held up his hands as he passed the man. He was grabbed by a quick arm and pulled back into Hotch. The man nuzzled his neck briefly before kissing him. 

"Are you doing fine after the case?" Hotch asked, one of his hands slipping down to the bend of Spencer's arm, where his very faded marks were. 

"I am. Not feeling alone helps." Spencer was looking in Hotch's eyes and saw the worry there so he felt compelled to lean in and kiss Hotch. It wasn't hot and heavy but soft and sweet and reassuring. Hotch's hands came up to hold him in place. It was only interrupted by a yawn from Hotch. "Go to bed. I'll be in soon."

"I'll hold you to that. If I wake up in the morning and you fell asleep on the couch, you are in trouble."

Spencer pushed Hotch away from him and moved towards the couch. He settled down with the first file spread on his raised knees. He could smell Hotch on the couch, his cologne from where he probably sat there before and after work. It smelled safe and comfortable. He worked for over an hour before he fell asleep, never realizing that he did. 

The feeling of being lifted up half woke Spencer up. His head was tucked into Hotch's neck and smiled against his skin. 

"You fell asleep," Hotch murmured. 

"Sorry. I didn't realize I was doing it."

"I know. Your file was on the floor and you were half off the couch."

"What're you doing up?"

"I came to check on you." 

The sound of a bedroom door shutting had Spencer opening his eyes. The room was only lit by the light in the bathroom. Hotch set him down on the bed and Spencer started to slip off his shirt but hands caught his and he just relaxed as he was slowly and methodically stripped. Spencer was about to turn and get under the covers but hands stopped him again. He felt a shirt being pulled down over his head and he was coaxed back onto the bed as sleep pants were slipped around each foot then up his legs. When they hit the bed Spencer propped his feet on the bed to raise his lower body up. 

Hotch pulled back from him then and pulled him to a sitting position.

"What now?" Spencer asked. He tried to think. Hotch didn't answer, instead he wrapped Spencer's arms around his neck and picked him back up in a bridal carry, exactly like he had been when taking him into the room. Spencer's covers on his side of the bed was already pulled back and Hotch laid him down there. He was covered up then the man crawled over him to lay down. Spencer pushed at him until he rolled onto his side away from him. Instead of spooning him, Spencer nestled his head at the spot where his back and the bed met, burrowing as close as he could get. Hotch hummed and then pulled the blankets all the way up to cover them both. Spencer was used to sleeping in the bed with Hotch. He was waking up at night and reaching for him when he was alone. But for that night, he didn't have to reach and not feel someone, because Hotch was right there.


	34. Blindsided

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S6-JJ

Spencer heard the knock on his door and looked at the time. It was eight in the evening. Hotch had made the comment that Jack was spending the weekend with the extended Brooks family at some kind of reunion. Spencer had wondered how long it would take for Hotch to arrive at his place. JJ's leaving the team had hurt Spencer. It hurt everyone, including Hotch and he knew that Hotch would want to alleviate that pain by using him. And he was okay with drowning his own pain in Hotch. It wasn't healthy but losing JJ like she had been lost to the team was something that Spencer had never seen coming. He'd deal with it later, acceptance, and all the other levels of grief but for now, he wanted to rebel. 

When he opened the door, Spencer wasn't expecting to see Hotch standing there with wine in one hand and a bag of what smelled like Thai takeaway in the other. Spencer turned to allow the man in and was a little shocked when the man stopped in front of him and kissed his cheek before moving towards, not the couch, but the table. Spencer followed him and grabbed two wine glasses from his cabinets. He filled both of their glasses while Hotch plated up the food. It looked like he'd got several things, all of which Spencer liked, and he was putting a little bit of each on each of their plates. Spencer was thinking too hard and didn't realize that Hotch had moved. He gave into the pressure on his shoulder and sat down as Hotch pushed in his chair for him. 

Hotch was acting like it was a date, but yet hadn't said a single word to him. He hadn't thought that the man was that shook up by JJ that he felt like he needed to woo Spencer before fucking him. Or he thought that Spencer was so shook up that he needed wooing. 

"What's all of this?"

"You've not been eating and I know it. Even Prentiss pointed it out to Morgan. You need to eat."

"I'm just not..."

"You are eating," Hotch said. 

Spencer snapped his mouth shut and picked up the fork as he looked down at the food. Hotch hadn't given him a lot. He stabbed at a bite and stuck it in his mouth. He worked on eating and didn't pay any attention to Hotch, knowing that a good conversation wasn't needed before fucking. Several bites in, he realized that he was hungrier than he thought he was. He didn't get anymore though once he'd cleaned his plate. Hotch poured him a second glass of wine but when it was gone, he didn't fill it a third time. He didn't fill his own a third either. Spencer shrugged it off. He'd put his foot down long ago about sex while compromised so he just chalked it up to that. 

Getting up to clean his plate and his fork, Spencer was lost in watching the water go down the drain when a body pressed against him and hands set Hotch's things in the sink. He leaned back into the strong body.

"I was thinking that I wanted to do something different tonight. Do you have any good dancing music?"

"Dancing music? Like heavy beats like Morgan likes to dance to?" Spencer asked as he turned around.

"No, I mean like slow dancing, waltzing, that kind of music."

"Umm, sure. I have some over here on CD." Spencer pointed and was kind of shocked when Hotch stepped back to allow him to go over to the section. The man didn't stray very far from him as he did it. He watched as Hotch's fingers caressed down the side of each spine of the cases as he looked for whatever he was looking for. Spencer kind of tuned it out. His mind was slipping back to work and going into the office each day and not seeing JJ there. 

"You with me, Spencer?" Hotch asked. 

"Yes." Spencer turned his face back up and found that Hotch wasn't where he had been the last time that he had seen him. Instead, he was in the middle of the living room and the coffee table was pushed away. He was holding his hand out and Spencer reached out and took it, stepping closer. He was pulled into Hotch's arms. The strains of classical music was coming from his speakers that were around the room. A gift a few years back from Morgan who had said that even with Spencer's classical tastes, a good sound system made the music. 

"Dance with me?" Hotch asked as he laid a hand on Spencer's lower back and slotted him just that much closer. Spencer hesitated on where to put his hands for a few seconds before he set them on Hotch's shoulders. Hotch though used his free hand and pushed at Spencer's elbow to where his arms slipped all the way around his neck. Hotch laid his cheek against Spencer's and started to move them. 

Spencer had never danced like this with anyone. He'd never gone to any of the dances in high school, even he knew better than that and even in college, he'd never gone to parties and whatnot. He followed Hotch's lead though and was thankful that he didn't have shoes on so the few times he stepped on Hotch's toes, it didn't hurt as much as it could have. He relaxed more and more as each section of the songs finished and started onto the next. He closed his eyes and dropped one of his arms to wrap around Hotch's back so that he could lay his head on his shoulder. 

This wasn't like anything else that they had ever done. It wasn't arousing but it was exciting. He could feel that he was half hard but there was no ache involved with it. Instead, it was pleasant. He started to rub his hand up and down Hotch's back, sort of in time with the music. Hotch's left hand was on his hip while his right was wrapped around Spencer much like his was around the man. It was maddening, just slowly moving around the room at Hotch's whim but it was relaxing as well. 

Hotch tilted his head up off his shoulder, drawing him in for a kiss. It wasn't like any kiss they had ever done before. It was more sweet and gentle. It wasn't meant to arouse or even excite. It was just an extension of what they were doing. Being close, being intimate. 

Three more songs on the CD played with Hotch kissing him and him kissing Hotch back. Spencer was still just half hard and where they were brushing against each other as they moved, he could feel that Hotch wasn't fully hard either. He wasn't sure what exactly this was but he was enjoying every single second of it. He almost didn't want it to end. 

"Let's go to bed, Spencer," Hotch whispered in his ear when he finally pulled away from Spencer's lips. Spencer looked at him, his lips were swollen and red, evidence from the kissing they had been doing. Spencer nodded his head, not trusting his voice not to crack. He stepped back, but his hand was caught. He was used to being stripped on the way to the bedroom, or being pushed in front of Hotch, or having the man like a octopus at his back as they went into the room, but this time he was backed-up towards the room. Hotch kissed him again as his hands worked on Spencer's pants. He wasn't shocked when they were shoved down his legs as they crossed the threshold from hallway to bedroom. They didn't stop moving until Spencer's legs hit his bed. He tried to sit down but Hotch's hands on his shoulders kept him up. He busied his hands with Hotch's pants, finding the older man's cock hard as he slipped his hands inside of his pants. 

Hotch shimmed out of his pants before he pushed Spencer back onto the bed. "Up," Hotch said as he worked on stripping himself the rest of the way. Spencer scooted up the bed, eyeing the man as he stripped. He went all the way down to skin before he kneed onto the bed to slip between Spencer's legs. Spencer laid down as the man loomed over him. Lips were on his again and he groaned as hands swept up his legs, brushing the edges of his groin before slipping up under his shirt. He was still in his work clothes and he'd dressed light with no undershirt under his button up. 

The hands left him as he tried to keep Hotch right where he was. He hadn't cared too much before about kissing. It was nice and it was a good way to show that Hotch wasn't using him, but this, this kind of kissing was addictive. He didn't want it to end but Hotch pulled away despite the hands on his shoulders to keep him there. 

"We have all night," Hotch said as he brushed his lips down his neck and started to suck a hickey into the pulse point on his throat. Spencer thrust his groin up into him, he was fully hard then. Hotch grabbed his hands and bent them up to where he was pressing them into the bed at his head. His head kept going down, placing kisses down his chest before the hands let him go to work on his shirt. Each button that was popped had a kiss placed on each bit of new skin revealed. Spencer didn't keep his hands where Hotch had pressed them into the bed, instead he touched. Hotch's head, shoulders, and whatever he could reach. When Hotch reached the end of his shirt, his hands swept up Spencer's chest, pushing the shirt down. Spencer sat up so that he could take it all the way off. Hotch kept going down, dragging his underwear with him. It showed his strength how he was able to get them off him without him even lifting up at all. The clothing was tossed to the side as his lips kept going down their path down his legs. Spencer couldn't reach him without sitting up but when he tried a firm hand on his stomach pushed him back down. His socks were removed with kisses placed on his ankles. Spencer tried to jerk his feet away when he felt lips brushing the sole of his foot. He stopped though when lips turned into a tongue and instead of feeling ticklish when it was near his ankle it was like heat straight to his groin. 

"Hotch," Spencer pleaded as he tried to coax the man up to kiss him or fuck him or do anything to him. A kiss was placed on his hip before it moved to the head of his cock. His body jerked of it's own accord and he looked down to see Hotch laughing. He tried to chastise the man, but he could only moan when his cock was licked from root to tip. He gripped Hotch's hair and held him there, not moving. He was close to coming and he didn't want to. Hotch fought out of his hold but he didn't go back to his cock, instead he moved up to lick his stomach again as he heard the snap of a lube cap. A gentle finger eased itself between his cheeks and he shifted his legs to where Hotch had better access. Everything felt so good. So good. He could hear the panting that he was doing, didn't care to try and stop it, or the moans and groans that escaped his lips. 

Hotch pulled his finger free to press in a second as he moved up to Spencer's left nipple. The two fingers pushed in and out of him as Hotch drove him mad with his tongue on his nipple. He tried to not do anything but he couldn't help pushing back down onto those fingers as they tried to leave him. Hotch moved to his other nipple as he pressed back inside with three fingers, opening him wide and fingering to where he was almost mad with pleasure. He gasped when the fingers were removed and Hotch moved his lips up his neck and onto his mouth again. 

"Spencer, can I have you?"

"Yes," Spencer answered without even thinking. He felt the press of hard cock against his hole and brought Hotch's face back to where he could kiss him. He only stopped when Hotch was all the way inside of him. He expected Hotch to pull out and slam back in but he didn't. It was a slow drag of cock out of him before a even maddeningly slow push back inside of him. 

Spencer's brain was fried with pleasure but he wasn't sure what was wrong. Something was wrong and his mind was trying to fight through the pleasure. He jerked his mouth away from Hotch's, gasping in a breath to try and clear his mind. Hotch didn't seem to notice at all. Instead he just placed open mouthed kisses on his cheek before moving down his jaw and then to his ear. He didn't miss the next words from the man's mouth. 

"I love you, Spencer," Hotch uttered in a convicted tone in his ear. 

It was like a bucket of cold water on his skin, the pleasure left him and all he could hear was those words repeated over and over again. He couldn't breath and he just laid there. Something had felt different about what Hotch had been doing, but he hadn't expected that. Hotch had been seducing and now he was making love to him. 

"Quantico," Spencer gasped because he knew it was the one thing to get Hotch to stop without having to resort to violence. Hotch sat up on his knees, gentling pulling his cock from Spencer. Before he could even think about what he was doing he was up off the bed and moved to his dresser. There on top was the sweats and t-shirt he'd been planning on changing into for the day. 

"Spencer," Hotch said as he reached out and closed his hand around Spencer's shoulder. It was like a wall had come tumbling down on him. Hotch hadn't called him Reid except at work in weeks, ever since that night with Jack. He'd gotten so used to it that night that he hadn't realized. Not caring about the lube on his body, Spencer jerked the sweat pants on and then the t-shirt. He didn't even look at Hotch as he moved towards the living room. He grabbed his wallet and keys and slid on a pair of tennis shoes and took off out of the apartment. He couldn't deal. He just heard those words over and over in his head. It was like they were on repeat. There was no way that Hotch would run after him naked so, he had a short period of time before the man would be able to follow him.

Spencer sighed in relief as the bus was getting ready to stop at the end of the block. He pulled out his card and swiped it as he stepped up onto the bus. He only wanted to get away. He didn't care where and he didn't care how. As he took a seat, he turned to look at the front of his building. He thought that Hotch wasn't going to run after him, and he didn't know why that hurt until finally, the doors burst open and there was the man looking around frantic. Spencer turned in his seat and thought about what he was doing. He looked at the bus number and tried to form a plan. He knew where he wanted to go, and it was the only place that he would feel safe that wasn't his place, or Hotch's.


	35. Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S6-JJ

Spencer knocked on the door to Morgan's apartment. When the man opened the door he looked at Spencer in shock.

"Can I come in?" Spencer asked and Morgan stepped back, speechless. Spencer stepped right in not even stopping to think what he had to look like to Morgan. 

"Reid, what's wrong?" Morgan's face was a picture of worry. 

"I promise I am not hurt, physically. I'm just shook up. Do you still have that extra go bag of mine in your truck?" Spencer really hoped so. It was for when he was out and about and not able to go home when called on sudden cases. It had work clothes and a spare pair of glasses. 

"I do. Do you want me to go and get it?"

"Please. I will talk but I'd like to take a shower."

"Sure. You go and get undressed and I'll slip your kit in the bathroom and your bag on the bed. Just come back in here when you are done. Are you hungry?" Morgan looked out of his depth, but Spencer didn't want to think yet. Morgan would know it all before the dawn anyway.

"No. No. I...I feel like I might puke. So maybe something cool to drink?" Spencer could ignore putting off thinking as long as he had something to do. Showering was first. He was sticky and it was bothering him. He'd ran and hadn't even thought about cleaning up. Cleaning up would have given Hotch a chance to corner him. 

"Well, go on," Morgan said as he he motioned towards the back left side of the apartment. Spencer started in that direction and it wasn't hard to figure out which was Morgan's room. The door was open and the bedroom just screamed his personality. Morgan had a three bedroom apartment for when his sisters or mother came to visit. Spencer knew that the guest bathroom was on the right side of the apartment along with the other two rooms. The left side was Morgan's room and what was supposed to be an office, but he'd turned into a workout room. Spencer moved into the room and then into the bathroom. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. 

Spencer hadn't realized how pale he was before he'd left. It was the shock, he knew that, but coupled with the sweatpants, t-shirt, and very messy hair, it wasn't any wonder that Morgan was worried. He looked very much like a victim of an attack. He was still staring at himself when Morgan entered the room. He held up Spencer's shower kit. Spencer took if from him when he got close enough.

"Kid, I know you said that you aren't physically hurt but I just...It's not that I think you are lying." Morgan looked seriously worried.

"I promise, but I'll take my shirt off if it'll make you feel better?" Spencer offered. 

"No, it's fine. Just offering makes me feel better. If you need anything holler. I'll be in the kitchen making some lemonade."

"Sure. Morgan." Spencer waited for the leaving man to turn around and look at him. "Thanks."

"Anytime, Pretty Boy. You know it." Morgan gave him a smile then shut the door. 

Spencer turned back to the mirror as he stripped off his clothes. He looked at his body as it was revealed. Thinking that there should be evidence of the night on him. He felt like such an idiot. He'd known the moment that Hotch had shown up that something was different. He put it down to the loss of JJ from the team. That Hotch was looking for something different, but it had been a difference that Spencer should have seen. The dancing, the gentleness, the utter emotion with every single touch of Hotch's skin to his own. 

Shutting away those thoughts, Spencer grabbed the items from his kit that he needed to shower before he set them inside the glass enclosure. Next he found towels and a rag. 

Washing himself off took a less time than Spencer wanted it to, but he couldn't hide in there forever. His clothing options were limited but he didn't feel like wearing work clothes. Yet he wasn't going to dress in sleep clothes either. 

After drying himself off, Spencer went to the bedroom and found his bag right there on the bed. He opened the main zip and was shocked when he found jeans and a t-shirt on the bottom of everything. It was one of his Cal-Tech shirts, and the jeans were soft. He remembered packing that because Prentiss had joked that he wouldn't know what jeans were if they bit him on the ass. So after that case, he'd packed them and wore them to dinner after the next case was wrapped. 

Morgan was in the kitchen still, just staring off into space when Spencer entered the little area. 

"Morgan?" Spencer called out. The dark skinned agent turned around and gave him a smile. 

"You look a lot better. Are you ready to talk because if you aren't, we can watch a movie. It's still pretty early."

"If I take you up on that I won't talk and I need to."

Spencer turned towards the living room area and took a seat on the couch, tucking his feet up on the cushion, and laying his chin on his knees. He watched as Morgan carried in a pitcher along with two glasses. He poured two and took the seat on the other other of the couch. 

"What happened tonight Reid?" Morgan asked. 

"I was at my apartment with my...what did you call him? Fuck buddy?" Spencer waited for Morgan to nod before he continued. "He did something I wasn't prepared for and it made me uncomfortable."

Morgan looked up at him, anger on his face. Spencer knew that look.

"NO!" Spencer said quickly, throwing a hand up. "No, nothing like that. I just. I got uncomfortable and I left. I ran away, Morgan. And this was the first place I could think of. I dressed in what I'd laid out to sleep in and I just ran."

"Why didn't he follow?" Morgan asked.

"He had a lot more layers to put on, harder clothes and the bus was right there. He didn't even see me get on it."

"What did he do?"

"I told you before it's just sex. A release of emotions and frustration." Spencer took a sip of his drink before he laid his head to the side on the back of the couch and looked at Morgan again. "It started out that way, but I don't know anymore."

"What happened?"

"Morgan, he showed up at my place tonight and he..." Spencer stopped. He couldn't say the words. "We have rough sex. We fight back and forth. Once I got used to the rougher aspects, it was just natural. We bite, scratch, and don't care about bruises. Face to face is rare unless blindfolds and gags and other toys are used. We did face to face the first time that we had penetrative sex, but I think that was more to make it good for me. We don't make love and tonight...That's what he did." Spencer took another deep breath. He couldn't look at anyone so, he looked down at his hands, wrapped around his legs. "Making love. It wasn't just sex and, he told me that he loved me. He told me he loved me and I know that it wasn't a slip, a reaction to the high of sex. He meant it and I don't know what to feel about that."

"What do you feel for him?"

"I don't know. I just...I don't know. Seven years and I don't know what I feel for him."

"You've not told me anything about him." Morgan looked a little put out. Spencer knew that he'd never told him about the time on it. 

"I can't. I..." Spencer stopped at the knock on Morgan's front door. The other man waved his hand like he was just going to ignore it but Spencer knew that knock. He wasn't shocked that Hotch had figured out where he was. "Go."

Morgan made a second gesture that was indicative of the fact that he was going to forget about the person at the door. Spencer wasn't sure what Hotch would do if Morgan didn't answer it.

"Go."

Morgan got up off the couch and moved to the door. Spencer ducked his head down and hid it in the crook made by his legs and his chest. He didn't want to see Hotch, but there was no way that Hotch would miss him as soon as the door was opened. 

"Hotch?" Morgan's voice was shocked. "Come in."

"No. I just want to drop this off." 

"Why do you have Reid's phone?"

"He left it, and I figured this was where he was. Have a good night, Morgan." Footsteps sounded as Hotch moved away. Spencer knew that it wouldn't take long for Morgan to put one and one together and get two. He just hoped Hotch was long gone. The sound of the door shutting and the chain being slid back into place sounded, as well as footsteps towards him. Then the steps stopped.

"You didn't forget your phone at work did you?" Morgan asked as he started back towards him. He felt the phone being dropped down on the couch at his feet. He didn't want to look at it. He wasn't sure what Hotch may have texted him before he figured out that his phone was not with him. 

"No. I forgot it at my apartment when I ran out."

"I think that this is better started from the beginning because seven years puts it right about your first case on the team. And if Hotch had your phone..." Morgan sat down on the other end of the couch and Spencer looked up at him. He was shocked that Morgan wasn't freaking out and demanding to know how Hotch had seduced him and corrupted him. 

"The first time that Hotch and I had sex was my first case on the them. He..." Spencer picked up the phone as it vibrated. He looked down at it.

**Whatever you need to tell him is fine with me, Spencer. Don't hold back for my dignity. You take care of you. I'll deal with the fallout.**

"Is that him?"

"Yes. Telling me that whatever I need to tell you to help me, I can." Spencer scrolled back and saw that he hadn't texted anything else. But he did have a missed call from his own land line. He had no clue what time he had ran away from his apartment, but given the time it was now, it was about right for the time of the call. "He hadn't meant to kiss me but he had."

"What about Haley?"

Spencer looked at his phone and smiled. She hadn't been the best wife for Hotch, but Spencer still missed her. He missed having someone to talk to about this. 

"Hotch is bisexual, as you can tell, but he loved Haley. There is a part of him that always will. He found out in college that he liked a little rougher sex sometimes. And after the first time that he let go with her, she found she did not. From what I can tell it really freaked her out. In the essence of compromise, she made a ground rule for his needs. Never with a woman, never with a pro, and she knows. I know that she never had an issue with me. Even when her and Hotch were having issues, he offered to stop, but she told him no. And after the divorce, she was still friendly with me and was an ear to talk to. She called me as she was being taken away by the Marshalls. She wanted me to take care of Hotch." Talking Spencer could do. He laid out everything. From their first talk, how Haley handled it all. He left out her infidelity and instead focused on Jack. 

"So he calls or texts and you just drop everything?" Morgan asked when Spencer's story was done. 

"Not exactly. He's called before when I am doing something, but mostly it's after cases. Since Haley's death I go to him. Tonight was the first time he's showed at mine since I started going to his." Spencer laid his chin down again. "I didn't even realize that Hotch was calling me Spencer. I had gone to Hotch's when he asked but Jack was awake, I was a little freaked out but Jack wanted Hotch to call me Spencer instead of Reid. I got so used to it that night, I didn't realize."

"Or you didn't want to," Morgan said. 

Spencer gave him a sharp look.

"I've listened to every single word you have said. I've listened and I've watched your face. Your eyes. You talked about that date you went on, and all I could hear between your words was that he wasn't Hotch. You talk about it being just sex, but it's not just sex and it hasn't been for a long while for either of you. When you hurt, he's there. When he hurts, you are there. You two have always had a connection. I always put it up to bonding over horrible family lives growing up, but now...It's been there from the beginning."

"I don't..." Spencer stopped because he couldn't say it. 

"Yeah. I think that you have been burying feelings, and I think that Hotch has been going along with it."

"What?"

"You said that he didn't slip but I think he did. Oh, I seriously believe that he loves you. He looked wrecked when he dropped off your phone. I haven't seen him that bad since Foyet was after him. He looked ready to jump out of his skin."

"Did he?"

"Look Reid. We all know that you hate change. Anything and everything that changes, you are upset. It's the way that you are, we've adjusted. JJ leaving has you freaked and we all know it. I think that Hotch has been sort of lulling you into something more for a while now. You're recount of it all changed as time went on. It went from event to event to stories about talking, and if it was anyone else I'd say Hotch has the patience of a saint. You told me a story once about an analogy. About sticking a frog in water. About how if you put one in hot water, it'll jump out but if you put it in cool water and slowly heat it up, it'll let itself be boiled to death. That's you. If Hotch would have told you several years ago, I bet you would have freaked out. Much worse of a freakout. You are here talking and not trying to run. What was your first thought when you ran?"

"To get somewhere safe." Spencer hadn't been thinking beyond that but he hadn't gone to a library or anywhere else where he could distract himself. He'd gone to the one person who wouldn't let him get away with it. He knew he'd be forced to talk and forced to examine his relationship. 

"To do what?" Morgan scooted closer on the couch and laid a hand on Spencer's sock clad foot. Spencer didn't answer though. He knew the answer and he knew that Morgan knew the answer. "If Haley had been alive, I bet you would have went to her. You said that Rossi has known for a while but Rossi is Hotch's guy. I'm yours. I knew of your lover in a roundabout way, but hadn't known it was Hotch. You hadn't blurted out anything until after Hotch came here. Him coming here was a sign that he knew that it would tip me off. That it was okay to talk. Then he texted and told you to tell me everything. That tells me that he cares a lot for you."

"You are taking this better than I thought."

"You looked freaked out when you got here, but you offered to show me your chest and back, and I don't see Hotch hurting you that way, outside of the kinks you have talked about you two doing. I understand the need and psychology behind them, so don't worry about that, but to purposefully hurt you to make you feel pain and to hurt, I don't see him doing that. I think that you know what you came here to figure out and you did that. A slightly objective eye to look at it all with."

"I just..." Spencer sighed and laid his forehead down on his knees. "I ignored everything because I thought I was reading into it."

"You have a capacity to bury shit so deep. And that magnificent brain of yours can be deadly, even to yourself." Morgan forced Spencer's head up. "I think that you might want to head home." 

Spencer nodded. He picked up his lemonade and drained it. He carried it to the kitchen. He grabbed his wallet and keys, his phone was next and he slipped it in his pocket. Morgan had disappeared from the living room and came back with a coat. It looked nothing like a coat that Morgan would wear and it was more sized for someone around Spencer's size. 

"Desiree left this here. It's gender neutral enough so that it won't draw eyes, even though I know that you don't care." Morgan handed it over and Spencer slipped the coat on. It fit him well enough. "I called you a cab and I gave over the destination. It'll be here in a few. Do you want me to walk you out?"

"No, I'm good. Thank you, Morgan." Spencer stepped towards him and drew the shocked man into a hug. Morgan hugged him back strongly though. Spencer pulled away and was out of the apartment before he figured out what had shocked Morgan. He'd never instigated a hug with the man before. He made his way down to the street and found that there was a cab already waiting for him. He slipped into the back and looked up at the driver. 

"Still the address I was given?" the driver asked.

"Yes. Thank you." Spencer shifted to where he pulled his cell phone out of his pants. He stared at it trying to figure out what to text Hotch. His stomach was a jumble of knots. He wanted to talk in person. Not over the phone and not in a text but he needed to make sure that Hotch didn't mind him coming over. He started to input that when he felt the taxi stop. He looked up to see what light they were at when the door opened. He aborted looking up to look over and saw Hotch there. Behind him wasn’t Spencer's apartment building but Hotch's. 

"Morgan said to expect you but it looks like you weren't aware you were coming here." Hotch stepped back from the door and Spencer made his decision to get out. He started to rise, he watched Hotch pay the cabbie. 

"I was going to text and ask if I could come over. We-we need to talk."

"First, Jessica will be here in a few. Jack demanded to be brought home. He overheard Roy say something about me and didn't like it. She brought him back and was taking him to her place when I called to check on him."

"Okay." Spencer looked towards the road then back at Hotch. "But there is something I want to say first." Spencer closed the distance between them, reaching up, he cupped Hotch's cheek. He leaned in next and kissed his lips, softly. "I love you too, Aaron."

"I've known for a while, I just knew you hadn't realized. I just couldn't not say it."

"How long have you known that you love me because I keep going through every interaction in my head. Trying to pinpoint when you started to act different."

"The Vegas case was when I realized. I also didn't want to lose you. It wasn't until much later I realized you loved me and didn't know. I kept waiting until you knew, until that night with Jack, I saw what you were really doing. Your brain had realized it but you were suppressing it. Then I realized why."

"I'd rather have part of you than none of you," Spencer whispered. Aaron pulled him in for another kiss as a car pulled up. 

"Daddy!" Jack cried out. Aaron let go of Spencer and moved to open the door. "Spencer!"

Spencer smiled as he waved at Jack as Aaron unbuckled him from his car seat. The little boy didn't scramble into Aaron's arms though. He moved right past and held his hands up for Spencer to take him. He didn't hesitate. He picked the boy up and Jack threw his arms around him. 

"Jack said he'd hoped he'd see Spencer," Jessica said as she rolled down her car window. She handed a bag over to Aaron. "It's good to see you again, Doctor Reid. Haley spoke of you often and kindly. I didn't get to tell you that at the funeral."

Spencer didn't know what to say to that. He just nodded.

"I wanna go upstairs, Spencer. While Daddy talks to Aunt Jessica."

"Aaron?" Spencer asked.

"Go ahead. Do you have your key?" 

Spencer nodded and turned to head up. Jack laid his head on his and just relaxed in his arms. He dug his keys out in the elevator and when he let them into the apartment, Jack didn't wiggle to be let down. Spencer moved to the couch and sat down. Jack moved then. He straddled Spencer's legs sitting on his knees. 

"What is a sotiopat?"

"Sociopath," Spencer automatically corrected. Then he stopped. "Where did you hear that?"

"Grandpa called Daddy that. It's why I wanted to talk to you. He called dad that and a faggot deviant."

Spencer didn't know what to do. He turned to look at the door but Aaron didn't magically appear. He didn't want to answer those questions without Aaron around. 

"Spencer."

"Well we will start with faggot. It's a not nice word. It's very derog... mean to gay people." Spencer stopped to see if Jack would ask what it meant. 

"Daddy told me what gay meant once. He said that you and he were bi. Mommy was straight. And that Aunt Jessica was gay but only he and mommy knew."

Spencer wondered if Jack would realize he told him and wasn't supposed to. And it explained why Jack hadn't been phased by seeing him in his father's bed. 

"And sociopath?" Jack asked, saying the word slowly. 

"Well sociopath isn't a bad thing but some people who are labeled it do bad things. They are usually people who would rather spend time alone and lack a conscience. You know the thoughts that you have that tell you not to do bad things? They don't have that."

"That's not Daddy."

"No, he goes after people like that who do bad things. And a deviant in this case, means that who ever said it thinks that your father does things that are not normal. But many people are called that. Because the person saying it doesn't understand."

"Grandpa said it about Daddy. And you, but he didn't call you by name. He called you Daddy's piece."

"Well a lot of people your grandfather's age do not accept any relationship outside of man and woman. To him, someone who is gay or bi is deviant."

Jack's eyes tilted up but didn't stop on Spencer's face, no his eyes went farther up. Spencer felt Aaron's hand on his head then, just stopping to rest there. 

"Jack I get know that tonight was hard, but it's way past your bedtime. Can you go change?" 

Jack opened his mouth then slammed it shut. Aaron must have glared. 

"I'll start up a movie and you can come watch it until you fall asleep."

"Is Spencer staying?"

"I don't know." Aaron said at the same time Spencer nodded. 

"Go get dressed for bed, Jack." Spencer kind of pushed the boy a little from the side, prompting him to swing his leg over. Jack scrambled off his lap and took off for his bedroom. 

"You did well with that. I wasn't aware that was why he wanted you. Jessica was tight lipped on the phone. She told me what she had overheard before she found Jack eavesdropping. She did not hear that part. and don't worry about Jessica's secret, she'd been hinting that I was allowed to tell for a while."

"What exactly did Haley tell Jessica about me?"

"When the divorce happened it all came out. From Haley's infidelity, to what we are doing and it was all laid out for Jessica. She also knew that after the divorce, you and Haley kept in contact. And I was just told that Haley knew that I was in love with you before she died. I wasn't aware of that."

"Oh," was all that Spencer could say. He tipped his head back so that he could look at Aaron. Aaron leaned down and gave him an upside down kiss. "I don't have any clothes to sleep in."

"I have some stuff that will fit you. Did you want to change now or later? Did you want to take a shower? You left pretty quick from your apartment."

Spencer shook his head back and forth for a few seconds before pulling him back down for another kiss. "I showered at Morgan's. I have a spare go-bag in his truck for the times that I am out and about and it's a rush case and we meet at the strip. After the second time of having to go to the office or home, I just asked him if I could do it. I should have just grabbed it when I left but I thought I was going home."

This side of the relationship was going to take some getting used to. Aaron pulled back just as feet sounded in the hallway. Spencer watched him as he moved towards the shelves that held his DVD collection. He grabbed a movie from the Disney section. Jack didn't settle on Spencer's lap. He stood there at his side until Aaron had loaded the player and took a seat next to Spencer on the couch. Spencer had sat down in the middle so Aaron took the left side. He wrapped an arm around Spencer's shoulder and tugged him until he was leaning against him. Then Jack settled down in his father's lap, leaning back against the arm with his feet over Spencer's legs. He cuddled down so that his head was turned to look at the screen. 

" _Sleeping Beauty?_ " Jack asked as a small yawn escaped his mouth. 

"Yes," Aaron said as he started to run his hand through Jack's hair. The boy shook his head and glared at his father. Aaron waited until Jack looked back at the screen as he skipped over the previews and clicked play before he turned to Spencer and mouthed. _It puts him right to sleep._

Spencer nodded and laid his head back on Aaron's shoulder. He smiled as he laid his hand on Jack's legs, his thumb rubbing back and forth on pajama clad shin. Twenty minutes into the movie, Spencer heard heavier breathing and looked to see Aaron's hand going through Jack's hair again while the boys eyes were fighting staying open. He watched as after three minutes of that, the boy's eyes closed and didn't open again. Aaron kept running his hands through Jack's hair for another fifteen and a half minutes before he slipped his arm from around Spencer and sat up with the boy in his arms. Spencer stood up as well and moved to open Jack's door. Aaron laid him down and covered him up. Jack woke briefly but just reached over the side of his bed and lifted up a rather large stuffed T-Rex. He cuddled into the stuffed dinosaur and rolled onto his side. Aaron flicked the light off after placing a kiss on Jack's forehead. 

As Spencer was turning to leave, he heard his name called out and turned back to find Jack staring at him, blinking in the small amount of light that was cascading into his room from the hallway. 

"He wants a kiss from you as well," Aaron whispered in his ear as he got level with him in the doorway. 

"Oh." Spencer moved forward and dropped to his haunches to kiss him on the forehead as well. The smile that he got from Jack was heartstopping. He looked so much like his father in that moment. "Goodnight, Jack."

"Good night, Spencer. I love you."

Spencer heard the subtle gasp from behind him but he ignored it. "I love you too, Jack." It was after he said the words that he realized exactly what Haley had started to do to him that first day that she forced an interaction between him and Jack. She saw that he would be around a long while, and wanted to make sure that her son and his father's lover got along. He wondered exactly when Haley had figured it all out. If she saw this long before Aaron had. That meal in the diner had been strange to him but she'd seemed fine. Her ease had put him at ease. He pulled the blanket up farther on Jack's body, settling the boy in farther. Jack closed his eyes and seemed to drop off to sleep in seconds. The sleep of the young. 

Aaron was still there in the doorway, his eyes locked on Spencer as he moved towards him. When Spencer stopped in front of him because there was no way to pass him, he was shocked when his mouth was taken in a kiss. Spencer, though, wasn't going to trust that Jack would stay asleep so he forced the older man to take a few steps back with a constant pressure on his shoulder but never removing his lips from his. When they were clear of the door, he pulled it until it was just shut, the exact way that Aaron was working on shutting it. Jack's nightmares were few and far between but in the aftermath of the loss of his mother, he didn't like to sleep in a dark room, and the nightlight wasn't enough. When Aaron had brought it up to him, he told him to see about leaving the door open and just slowly, inch by inch, closing it just that much more every few nights. Based on where Jack had been when he'd stayed over last, Spencer had pulled it just that far.

"You don't know what you just did, do you?" Aaron asked, raggedly as his lips bussed Spencer's forehead. 

While there were a lot of thing that Aaron could be asking about, given the man's reaction, Spencer was pretty sure that he knew what the man was commenting on. "I have a good idea, Aaron, that is has to do with your blatant Alpha side and showing affection for your offspring."

"You are rather cheeky." Aaron didn't kiss him again though. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Spencer and buried his face in his neck, inhaling deeply. He took a shuddering breath and it caused Spencer to hold him tighter. "I was afraid you'd not come back."

"I'm sorry that I ran I just...I couldn't think and when I can't think like that I have to go somewhere safe. Usually it's my apartment, but that's where I was." 

"I almost called JJ but I remembered that you and Morgan had talked in circles about me when you were getting over anthrax. He made the most logical decision, and then when he looked at me totally shocked, before looking back at you. I knew I had made the right choice. What does he know?"

"Everything." Spencer laid his head on Aaron's shoulder. Now that rush of it all was gone, he was smelling Aaron and it was causing him to calm down even more. Lethargy was setting in. 

"Let's get changed for bed." Aaron changed his hold on Spencer, turning them towards his bedroom. Spencer allowed himself to be pulled behind the man and laughed as he was handed clothes. The pants were worn out in a few places and looked like they might have been from Aaron's college days. When he undressed and put them on he figured out why. Aaron had chicken legs in college. There was no way that his runner's legs fit into these anymore. He held his hand out for a shirt but when nothing was laid in his hand, he looked up. Aaron was sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed only in pants as well. At the older man's urging, Spencer stepped up between his legs. "Are you okay?"

"I am. I'm not going to freak out in the night. I've gotten used to sleeping in the bed with you."

"No, not about that. About us. About there being an us. About there being an us and Jack. And about knowing that we will need to tell JJ, Prentiss, and Garcia soon. The knowledge that this, what we have, is going to lead to more. That at some point we will move in together.. That I'll be making sure that we don't lose our jobs because of this."

"I have an in on that." Spencer thought about John and the fact that he'd talked to his sponsor about his lover, but had never given him anything remotely verging on a name. "And Rossi or Strauss taking over my evaluations will make things go over easier. I've thought this, Aaron. While watching the movie with Jack, my brain doesn't stop."

"I don't think I'll tire of hearing you say my name instead of Hotch," Aaron said. He pulled Spencer in for a kiss before the younger man could say a thing. It wasn't a kiss meant to excite but just to reassure. Spencer kissed him back the same. He knew there would be bumps but they would get over them together. "As soon as I can figure out a night that Jessica can watch Jack and we don't have a case, I am taking you on proper date. Not a sneaky one like I've been getting away with, but an honest to God date. Where I can touch you, and kiss you, and feed you and do all the things I've wanted to do for a long time."

"Yes." 

"And then we are going to come back here and we are going to make love. Not fuck. We are going to finish what we started tonight but this time you'll know what I am doing to you."

"Are you saying no sex between now and then?" Spencer asked as he pulled away to lay down. Aaron followed, pulling Spencer to him as he slipped under the covers. He settled back into Aaron's arms, the smell of him surrounding him. He wondered how often Aaron would want him to stay over now. If the bed would start to smell like them instead of just Aaron. He was looking forward to finding out. 

"That's exactly what I am saying."

"Tease."

"I plan on following through." Aaron kissed the back of his neck and the room filled with just the sounds of their joint breathing. Spencer dropped off between one breath of his and before Aaron's next, content.


	36. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S6-Remembrance of Things Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tag Update Above

Spencer laughed as Aaron was draped along his back as he tried to open the door with his face buried in Spencer's neck, leaving what was bound to be an impressive hickey. Aaron's other hand was holding his head exactly where he wanted it. Spencer took pity on the man and took the keys from him, opening the door and moving to the alarm and deactivating it. The door was slammed shut then Spencer was being slammed in the wall. 

Aaron kissed him to within an inch of his life, pressed against the wall. There was no Jack to worry about. As as soon as the case was over, Aaron had asked Jessica if she would watch him. She'd agreed when Aaron had said he wanted to take Spencer on a date, and a hell of a date it was. It was a lot better than the date he'd gone on with the one guy, and better than the sneaky ones that Aaron had been taking him on. He felt like the most important person in the room with Aaron paying attention to him.

"Let's take this to the bedroom, love," Aaron whispered in his ear as he trailed his lips from lips to the edge of his jaw. "You go back and strip down while I set the alarm again because once I get you in bed, you are not getting out."

"Then let me go." Spencer leaned up and kissed him again as Aaron backed away so that he could slip away. And he did. He moved down the hall towards Aaron's bedroom. He stopped at the sight of the door opened on a half empty closet. He pushed it all away though, and easily started to strip. He'd gone all out for the outfit he'd bought for the date. A very fancy three piece suit that had been rush jobbed into being. The pants were the best feature and according to the man who had taken his measurements would make a priest pant after him. He worked on stripping his upper body first, he was taking off his undershirt when he felt Aaron step up behind him. His hands settling right on his ass. 

"You look wonderful in that and I have to insist that you don't ever wear it on a case. Please? I don't want to fight off other people for my lover's attention.

"Just for you," Spencer promised. The hands on his ass moved to the front and started to work on stripping him of his pants. 

"Good. Bend down and untie your shoes." Aaron's voice was husky in a way that Spencer had never heard before. He did as asked and was a little shocked when he didn't bump into Aaron. He looked between his legs to see Aaron stripping his own shoes off followed by his pants. He couldn't see his face but he was sure that it was focused on his ass. When he stood back up once they were untied, Spencer sucked in his stomach and his pants fell with gravity taking them down. Aaron stepped up behind him, cupping him through his very tight underwear. The pair was royal blue, exactly the shade that Aaron liked to see him in. "You are naughty."

"And what are you going to do about it?" Spencer shook his ass back and forth a little but Aaron didn't bite. Instead his hands gripped his hips and pushed him towards the bed.

"Tonight's different, Spencer. The two times you've had me, you couldn't do what you wanted. The first time because I had you tied to a chair, and the second because you were hurt and couldn't. Tonight you get to. You get to tell me what to do, you get to make love to me." Aaron let go of his hips. "So tell me what you want me to do."

Spencer turned to find Aaron already naked. He looked him up and down, not even blushing at all. Spencer shoved down on his underwear and finally he was naked as well. Aaron's eyes, though didn't move down his body, they stayed right on his face. Spencer's plan fully formed in those seconds that followed. 

"Go shower." Aaron leaned in and kissed him before he moved towards the bathroom. While Aaron was showering, Spencer stripped the bed down. He piled the clean sheets and comforter on the floor at the foot before going and finding two in the closet. He covered the bed in those two for protection. He opened the drawer and found the bottle of the lube. He set it out then cleaned up his and Aaron's clothes, putting them up where they belonged either on a hanger to be taken out for dry cleaning or in the hamper. 

Aaron was toweling his hair dry when he stepped out of the bathroom, he was still naked. Spencer took the towel from him, it would come in handy later. 

"On the bed, on your back," Spencer said and he watched the older man do as he said. Aaron laid in the middle of the bed, his hands crossed on his chest. Spencer looked him up and down, debating between plan A and B. He chose B as he watched Aaron's cock started to fill. He kissed the top of Aaron's feet before he licked at the bend of his ankle. Aaron inhaled and Spencer looked up to see him propped up on his elbows, looking down at him. 

Spencer kissed up his legs, stopping at his knees to lick on the inside. Aaron was panting, his cock rock hard and right in Spencer's eyeline, but as he moved up, he moved outward instead of inward. To the curve of his hip and then his stomach. Spencer held himself above him so that no inch of him brushed Aaron's cock. The only move that Aaron made was to lay fully down again. There wasn't a thing keeping Aaron on the bed besides willpower. He wanted to stay down. His eyes never left Spencer's path as he moved up his body. Each scar was kissed as he came to each one. 

Aaron's hands clenched as Spencer paused just at Aaron's nipples. He exhaled on them, watching them harden. 

"Can I touch?" Aaron asked. 

"Yes." Spencer licked the nipple in front of him as he felt hands settle at his sides, rubbing up and down. It wasn't anything more than that. Aaron touching him wherever he could. His hands stayed above the waist though. Spencer made himself leave the nipples and moved to his clavicle. At his first bite, right at Aaron's pulse point, the older man's hands tightened. 

"You are enjoying this aren't you?" 

"Having you at my mercy? Yes." 

"I'm glad. Kiss me, please?" Aaron asked. Spencer lifted from the mark he was leaving and kissed his lips. He claimed Aaron's mouth as hard as he could. He didn't let the man get away from him. He held his face in place and fucked his mouth with his tongue. Aaron tried to rock up and rub his cock on him but Spencer moved to where he was straddling his stomach, leaving his cock just bobbing in the air.

"Turn over," Spencer said as he sat up fully. Aaron turned over carefully while Spencer stayed over the top of him. When he was laid out again, Spencer moved down to nestle his cock in between Aaron's cheeks. He kissed the back of Aaron's neck. "How thorough were you in the shower?"

"I took a full one." 

"Good." Spencer bit his shoulder, just in the spot that Aaron had marked him. He didn't press hard enough to do anything but make him feel it. He kissed down his spine, kissing every single knob as he worked his way down. He rubbed his thumbs down the crack of Aaron's ass and acted like he was going to bypass his ass fully before biting at one cheek. He rubbed his thumbs back up as he bit at the other cheek and then spread Aaron's cheeks. 

There was a subtle intake of breath from Aaron. Just enough to raise his back a little but Spencer was looking for it. He settled himself down on Aaron's calves to make sure that he could get comfortable. 

"Spencer, don't make your-"

"I want to." Spencer kissed at the top of his crack before he moved farther down. He exhaled over Aaron's hole. It felt so good when Aaron did it to him. Aaron had cleaned up. Spencer inhaled and exhaled again before he licked from the base of his crack up to the top. Aaron jerked on the bed. Spencer looked up to see him bury his face in the pillow that his head had been resting on. On the second pass of his tongue, he pressed harder on his hole. The tip just barely caught before passing the ring of muscle. The next pass had Spencer pushing in just a little farther. He pulled back and rubbed his thumb over the hole for a few seconds, watching Aaron's body language. The pillow he was gripping looked ready to rip. Spencer shifted up a little and kissed up his back. "Relax, Aaron."

"If I do, I'll come."

"Then shift up some," Spencer said. He relaxed back and Aaron moved to his knees. He waited for him to settle before he moved back, holding the cheeks apart, he kissed his hole before slowly pushing his tongue inside. Aaron's muscles relaxed as Spencer worked him open first using just his tongue and then tongue and fingers. The only sound in the room was Aaron's harsh breathing and the bed groaning as Aaron moved on it. He couldn't hold still. And Spencer didn't want to wait. He leaned up to grab the lube and coated his fingers. 

Sliding the first finger inside of Aaron had Spencer shuddering. He slipped the finger in and out until he was sure that he had coated him well enough. Then he pushed in with two, curling to brush Aaron's prostate. He smiled as he watched the slight shuddering of Aaron's body. 

"Are you ready?" Spencer asked. Aaron nodded against the pillow and Spencer pulled his fingers free. "Words."

"Yes, I'm ready." Aaron chuffed a little in laughter. 

"Condom?" 

"No." 

Spencer turned a little to toss the lube onto the nightstand. "I want you on your back." Aaron rolled over and pulled Spencer down to kiss him. He allowed it, their cocks rubbing on each other. Aaron cupped the side of his face and shifted to cradle Spencer's body in the valley between his legs. He used the lube on his hand to coat his cock before lining up to slide inside of Aaron. 

Inch by inch he slid inside of Aaron. His lover's eyes were closed, Spencer watched his face as bottomed out inside of him. He'd been inside of him twice before but it never felt like this. He pumped in and out a few times before leaning down to kiss him again. Aaron held him there, as he rocked down onto Spencer's cock with every thrust. 

Aaron came with a cry, Spencer was shocked because he hadn't expected it so quick. Aaron's muscles tightened on him and he stilled. Aaron's eyes snapped open and he wrapped his legs around Spencer's waist, not letting him pull away. "Fuck me."

Spencer pulled out and slammed back in as hard as he could, chasing his orgasm. Aaron's heels dug into his ass and spurred him on. Spencer let go, giving into what he wanted at a base level. Trusting that Aaron would stop him if he hurt him or went too far. Time meant nothing as he fucked his lover. His orgasm overwhelmed him and his entire body locked up. Aaron buried his cry in his mouth. Aaron didn't stop kissing him until his entire body was slumped down on his own. 

"I love you, Spencer," Aaron said softly in his ear. 

"I love you too, Aaron." Spencer shifted to carefully pull out of Aaron and moved to the bathroom. He cleaned up before washing out the rag and going back to the bedroom. Aaron smiled at him the entire time that he cleaned him up. Spencer didn't even blush at the look that Aaron gave him before he went back to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror for a few seconds before going back out towards the bedroom. Aaron had stripped the bed and pulled the clean sheets and comforter back up onto the bed. He was sitting with his back to the headboard, the blankets pulled up to his waist. He stopped at the sight of what looked like a necklace case resting on Aaron's thighs. 

"What's that?" Spencer asked. He didn't move any closer to the bed, instead he stayed where he was.

"It's not going to bite, and neither am I, unless you ask. I want to talk." Aaron patted the spot on the bed beside him. Spencer didn't hesitate as he moved over but he wasn't sure about what could be in that box. It was large, like the ones that pearls and other very precious necklaces came in. Why would Aaron buy him a necklace? He'd never, ever worn one before. Morgan wore some that were very manly. But that wasn't something that Spencer wanted to act like he liked, not even to make Aaron happy.

"Okay." Spencer sat down but he was stiff. Sitting with one foot on the floor. Aaron didn't touch the box but instead turned a little to face him. 

"We...we didn't go about this the normal way at all. We have rituals and interactions that are not normal. So, I want to see about changing that a little bit."

"Uh huh." Spencer wasn't sure what he was supposed to say to that.

"I love you. I love the Spencer that you let me see that no one else gets to see but I don't want what we have done to be all that we are going forward with this."

"Explain," Spencer said. He was looking down at his hand. He was feeling off center and he started to rub at the tip of his pointer finger.

"Spencer, look at me." 

Spencer shook his head. Aaron reached over and laid his hand over Spencer's. 

"You know what to call what we are. Dominant, submissive. We've never used the words but I don't want that when we are just here together. Sexually is fine, but I don't want you submissive in the rest of the relationship. Nor do I want it all the time when we have sex. Tonight was good, fun. I want that more." Aaron tipped Spencer's face up. "Do you?"

"I..." Spencer tried to think. He thought about how it all was new for him. Dating, and a relationship, being anything other than a...lover. "I don't know. I don't know what to do about that. I just..."

Aaron lifted up the case and opened it. Spencer just stared. What was inside wasn't anything that he ever thought that he'd see. He knew exactly what it was and the thought of it had his blood thrumming. He reached out and touched it. It was soft and blue. The same blue as the rest of the things that Aaron bought for him. 

"I know that what we've done hasn't exactly prepared you for coming into this with anything but what we have been before. But I want to be us. However we end up being. This though...is for the times you want that side of the relationship. You know when I need or want something. I need to learn better when you need. I mostly guess in the dark and hope I don't fuck it up. So if you wear this, I know what you want and need."

"To be taken out of my head. But..." Spencer picked up the collar and held it up. "But what if I don't want to wear the collar to show that? What if I just ask for that but wear the collar most of the time?" He turned on the bed, planting both feet on the floor, and unlinked the collar. Aaron moved up behind him and took the ends from him, pulling it up to his neck. "I like what we do and I don't mind trying new and varied things. I understand what you mean though. Not every time we have sex has to be a... production. It can be just what we did tonight, giving and taking pleasure."

The collar was like the cuffs, so soft on the inside and only a little bit of metal. Aaron slipped behind him, his legs on either side of Spencer's.

"This tells me I am yours. Just like this does." Spencer raised his hand to skirt the claiming scar on his shoulder. Aaron's mouth went to it. 

"Are you going to wear it all the time?"

"When we are home, probably. Maybe to work when I need the reminder. Is that okay?"

"More than. You...I came so hard so short a time ago but now...get up." Aaron pushed at him and Spencer stood but he didn't move any farther. "Bathroom."

Spencer moved as quick as he could into the bathroom, knowing what Aaron wanted. He leaned over the counter, right in front of the mirror. He wasn't shocked when Aaron entered, rolling a condom on his cock. A finger was slid into him with no words and Aaron tossed the wrapper on the counter. It was a different brand than normal. The finger was pulled out and cock replaced it. 

"You are mine." Aaron wiped his finger on a towel and reached up to grab the back of the collar. It wasn't enough to block his breathing unless he leaned forward but it kept him where he was. Aaron's other hand held his hips in place as he pushed in. 

"Yes."

"No one else's."

"No. Never. Aaron, please." Aaron wasn't moving and it was driving him nuts. He tried to push back but Aaron's hand stopped him. 

"Say it."

Spencer looked up, locking his eyes with Aaron's in the mirror. Aaron pulled out but didn't push in.

"I'm yours. No one else's." 

Aaron slammed home inside him and he had to brace himself to stop from falling over as he was fucked. He looked back up and kept his eyes on Aaron in the mirror. He was slowly getting hard, shocked a little that Aaron had got as hard as he had as quick as he had.

"No more kissing starlets in pools or flirting with bartenders with magic." 

Spencer couldn't do anything but nod, he was breathing only enough to not pass out. Aaron pulled out of him and spun him around. He was picked up and near slammed into the counter, his ass pulled down to where Aaron could slid into him again. When he was filled, Aaron wrapped his legs around him, using the collar to pull him up into a kiss.

"You are perfect for me," Spencer said. His head slumped back and cracked in the mirror but he didn't care. "I'm close, already. Make me come, Aaron." Every slide of the hard cock in him had him dancing ever closer to the point of no return. "Please, make me come, Sir."

Aaron slammed into him even harder and Spencer screamed. His vision whited out. He felt the swell of Aaron's cock at the same time as he came. 

"You are horrible," Aaron said as he grabbed a rag to clean up where Spencer had come all over the both of them. Aaron held onto the condom as he slowly pulled out of Spencer. Spencer didn't let his legs down though. "You've gotten down that Sirring me thing to an art."

Aaron pressed him down into the counter. 

"Am I supposed to say sorry?" Spencer asked as he wrapped his arms around Aaron. 

"No. Never say sorry for making me come like a teenager." Aaron leaned up, pulling him up with him. He kept Spencer's legs around him, carrying him into the bed. Aaron dropped him onto the bed on his side and then climbed over him to get to his own. The sound of the case being thrown to the floor made Spencer laugh. His lover slipped under the blankets and pulled them over him before wrapping his arms around him. 

"Comfortable?"

"Almost," Aaron said. He reached back and turned off the light before cuddling back up to him. "Now I am."

"When are we telling the girls?" Spencer asked. 

"I don't like keeping it from them since Morgan now knows it all. When do you want to?"

"As soon as possible." Spencer wanted to tell JJ more than Prentiss and Garcia, but he knew that they needed to tell them all. The ability to be a productive team hinged on not keeping a secret like this. Morgan and Rossi would only keep quiet for so long. Rossi had kept quiet the longest, but it wouldn't take him long to see the change in them and then he would want to talk. It would be better to get it done with as soon as possible. "Maybe a dinner at Rossi's? I'd rather not do it in a restaurant."

"I'll talk to him. See about something soon. I agree that this isn't going to go over well at all. While I'd like to think that a scene wouldn't be made if we were in public, I know that emotions run high when it comes to you." Aaron kissed the back of his neck, just above the collar and Spencer sighed at it. He liked the weight of the collar and he'd probably see if he could wear it the next day at work, just to get used to it. 

"I wish emotions didn't run high. Garcia keeps trying to get me to date and I tell her no. That should be enough."

"She wants to see you happy and people like her, they feel that you can't be happy alone. If I'd have never stepped into your life, you'd have never missed anything. You'd have been fine alone. That's the kind of person you are, Spencer. I'm happy I did though. I'm happy I took that chance and asked you."

"After you kissed me and made me think you were a rotten cheater."

Aaron laughed but the laugh was soft like he was fighting sleep. Spencer didn't say anything else, listening to Aaron's breathing evening out as he himself succumbed to sleep.


	37. The Whole Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S6-Compromising Positions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it folks, the end of this story. I want to say thanks for sticking around with me for the story.
> 
> But...wait...look up in the meta data...what is that! Rough Handling is now part of a series? Oh, my! How did that happen?

Spencer tried to settle his nerves as he rang the doorbell to Rossi's place. He knew what the dinner was about, even if the rest of the team had been told it was to celebrate his newest book hitting some selling milestone. Aaron had driven with him back to his place after work and Spencer had driven Aaron's car as they'd drove in together that morning to the office. They'd spent the day in the office working on the case files for the case in Akron, Ohio. Garcia's first stint as their liaison had been good from Spencer's POV, but he knew that Aaron was going to be stepping up now and working on the media side when they were on the case. Garcia would do as much as she could, but she was going to be staying in Quantico. Spencer would make sure and help Aaron as much as he could, including drafting press releases and even making sure that the locals kept to that. 

Today was the first time that Spencer was going to be seeing JJ since she'd left the team. And it was to tell her that he'd been in a sexual relationship with their boss for seven years. 

"You look like you'd rather be back in Akron," Rossi said as he opened the door. In his hand was a glass of wine and he handed it over. "Aaron said to give this to you. Everyone else is here already. No one on the team suspects a thing, so just let Aaron handle the talking. If he left it up to you, you'd probably spout the occurrence of this kind of relationship in nature or history."

"Keep the wine coming and I'll keep my mouth quiet." Spencer took a sip of the wine and smiled as it was his favorite. 

"Well, Aaron had me buy that when he picked up all the wine for the meal and the entire bottle is yours." Rossi pulled him into the house and wrapped an arm around Spencer's shoulder to escort him to the formal dining room. "Aaron chose the location."

The room was filled with the noise of talking. Garcia had her arm wrapped around JJ like she was afraid that she'd disappear if she let go. He was shocked to see Will there. He wondered where Henry was.

"Jessica took in little Henry for the evening at Aaron's place," Rossi said before he stepped away from Spencer, leaving him to just stand there. 

"Sit by me," Aaron said. 

Spencer turned to see him sitting in one of the middle seats on the side of the table that had three seats. The head of the table just had one and the opposite side had four seats. Prentiss's clutch was sitting at the spot on the other side of Aaron so that meant that Morgan, Garcia, JJ, and Will were going to be sitting on the other side. It wasn't a chance that Spencer was going to basically be between Rossi and Aaron. Sitting down, Spencer drained his glass of wine and refilled it. There was a bucket in the center that he knew was his bottle. There was another bottle of red farther down and Aaron had a glass of water and it looked like Rossi was drinking beer. 

Morgan was looking around like he was expecting something or someone else and Spencer needed to get up and do something, anything but sit there. 

"Excuse me," Spencer said. He stood up and Rossi pointed down a hallway behind him and held up his left hand with three fingers on it. So Spencer started down the hall and entered what he thought was going to be a bathroom but it wasn't. It was a bedroom with a bathroom attached. It was the third door on the left and he looked back out and there wasn't three doors on the right so Spencer moved into that bathroom. He splashed water on his face and tried to calm down. He'd never been this nervous when his and Aaron's fucking had started. 

"Do you know why Dave sent you here?" Aaron asked from the bathroom doorway. Spencer looked at him in the mirror, his glasses on the counter beside him. He could just make him out in the image.

"No."

"Because this room is connected to his small workout room and it's soundproof so part of this bathroom is as well."

"And what does he think is going to happen?" Spencer reached down for his glasses but Aaron was right there and caught his hand. 

"Exactly what's going to happen. You are nervous as hell and it's got Garcia's radar up. I was sent back to check on you by JJ." Aaron laid his hand down on the counter and grabbed his other, laying it down as well. "Stay."

"Aaron, no." Spencer turned around and Aaron stepped back. "I..."

"What's wrong?" Aaron asked but he didn't step any closer.

"You...you want to fuck?"

"That's pretty much a given every single second that we are awake. But I was just going to try and calm you down." Aaron reached into his suit's inner pocket and pulled out Spencer's collar. He stepped forward with it and wrapped it around his neck, buckling it. When it was fully fastened, he tucked it down under Spencer's shirt collar. 

"And if I want to fuck?"

"Then your wish is my command." Aaron looked at him. "Do you really?"

Instead of answering verbally Spencer reached out and grabbed his tie, pulling him close. From the second that Aaron had started talking, Spencer had been getting hard. He pressed that hardness into Aaron's hip. 

"Good. Now while the soundproofing muffles this room, if you scream, you will be heard so keep quiet." Aaron smiled as he stepped back. "Drop your pants and underwear and..."

"What if we fuck on the bed?"

"Naughty aren't you?" Aaron said but he jerked his head towards the room and Spencer started to move that way. He stripped as he went, and was naked as he reached the bed. His clothes were laid on the back of a chair and he laid down on top of the bed, his legs spread. Aaron stepped out of the bathroom with a towel in hand, he stopped at the sight of Spencer on the bed. "I'd better lock the door."

Aaron moved over and locked it as he toed out of his loafers. Spencer then watched him strip all the way down to nothing. If it wasn't for time, Spencer would try and get him to fuck his mouth first. Aaron pulled out two little sachets of lube and ripped open one. He tossed it at Spencer. He prepped himself as he watched Aaron lube up his cock. 

"You getting off on fucking in someone else's house?" Aaron asked as he lined up to Spencer's hole after getting on the bed. Before Spencer could answer, Aaron thrust into him, going to the hilt in one solid move. 

Spencer bit his lip to stop himself from crying out. He grabbed the pillow from under his head and covered his face with it as Aaron slammed into him harder and harder. Spencer wasn't the only one getting off on it. He would worry about Rossi being upset but given his own predilections, Spencer really didn't think he'd care. 

Feathers filled his mouth as he bit the pillow as Aaron came inside him. He was so hard he was aching and was about to pull the pillow away to beg when he felt Aaron pull out and something else pushed at his hole. He thought for all of two seconds that there was no way that Aaron had been carrying a plug with him the entire time when it pushed inside of him. The towel was shoved under his hips and then a warm mouth surrounded his cock. 

Aaron took him all the way down, not giving himself or Spencer a chance to adjust all. He knew they needed to be quick but he didn't want Aaron hurting himself. As Aaron adjusted, his hand slipped down and Spencer saw stars behind his eyelids as Aaron started to fuck him with the plug. 

Spencer let go and came not even seconds later. The fact that he still came like a rocket when a plug was in his ass made him feel a little shame. Aaron loved it but Spencer wished he had staying power. Aaron cleaned up his cock and played with the plug just a little more before Spencer hit him over the head with his pillow. 

"You owe Rossi a pillow!" Spencer said with a laugh as feathers spread everywhere. Spencer spit the ones in his mouth out. 

"Dave isn't going to care. I'm going to clean up and get dressed. Follow behind me in a few minutes. I'll say you took a call after I talked to you."

"Okay. And don't think we aren't going to have a discussion on carrying a plug to a team dinner."

"Nothing on me being heavy handed and making you wear it at said team dinner?"

"I'm shocked you didn't have us do this before we came over."

"Dave wanted to talk." Aaron leaned over and kissed him, plucking a feather from his lips first. "I love you. And no matter what happens in that room, I'll still love you."

"Sex makes you sappy." Spencer smiled as he pulled him down for another kiss. "But I love you too." 

Aaron dressed after exiting the bathroom and Spencer was still on the bed. The plug was very noticeable and he realized it wasn't the smaller one. Aaron planned to have him horny during dinner. He cursed the man as he left the room. 

There was only so long that he could delay leaving the room. He went to the bathroom and saw that his bottom lip was swollen from where he had bit it, but it wasn't bleeding. He knew that no one would think twice about his lip being swollen. He'd run his bottom lip between his teeth all the time so it being swollen wasn't a new thing. 

After five minutes, Spencer got up off the bed and looked at the towel. It looked fine but he still slipped it into the hamper in the bathroom. Because of the plug and Aaron sucking him off, he was pretty clean. He found baby wipes and used those to clean around the plug before he washed his hands. He dressed and made sure to look perfect. His hair was a little messy so he futzed with it in the mirror until it looked like he had run his hands through it. 

When he entered the dining room again, JJ was laughing at something that Garcia had said.

"You okay Spence?"

"Yeah. I just..." Spencer waved his hand and sat down, regretting it instantly as he sat down a little too hard and fuck if that plug didn't rake right over his prostate. Under the table, Aaron's hand settled on his thigh and if Prentiss looked, she see it but her eyes were on JJ. "I just needed a few."

"Now that Reid is back, let's dig in!" Rossi said with a smile on his face.

"So, a book celebration, huh?" Morgan asked after everyone had sat down after getting their food from the table along the wall. Rossi had chosen buffet style even if it was catered in. "Cause you have never done one with us before."

"I think that any excuse could have been used, and even if you thought I was lying, you'd have still come."

"Yes," the girls chimed in at the same time.

"I asked Dave for a meal here. My apartment is too small. I wanted to talk to you all very frankly and I thought that a public setting was not a good idea." Aaron was using his working tone of voice. 

Spencer watched Morgan's eyebrow go up and then he looked at Spencer. Spencer subtly nodded even though the girls were not looking at him at all. Will just looked a little uncomfortable. He knew that the man was feeling a little out of place, but Aaron had wanted him to not feel left out, or to have JJ feel like she couldn't talk to him about it. 

"Everyone here knows at least the generalized idea of Haley and I's relationship. And you would be correct. High school sweethearts with a few college breakups. But what you all didn't know is that I figured out I was bisexual in college. I wasn't ever going to act on it with someone while I was with Haley. Late in college I started getting stressed. I got rough, but not violent with her once during sex, and it really upset her. She didn't like it at all and she didn't do anything more than kiss me for a month. Which did not help my stress. So she proposed something. I could seek out someone to find stress relief with. She just had to be told before or after, and it never be with a professional. And never with a woman. I was lucky as I talked to a friend of mine, Jake, and he offered to see if we were compatible. Jake and I stayed in that arrangement up until a little over seven years ago. Questions?"

"I should step out," Will said. He started to get up.

"No, stay," Aaron said. Will nodded and sat back down. He was looking really uncomfortable but he stayed seated. "You are a part of this family Will."

"You say rough you mean biting scratching, not gentle at all right?" Prentiss asked, she turned to face Aaron some so Spencer turned as well, hiding the hand on his thigh. He'd rather it come out when Aaron was to that point, not before.

"Yes. Rough with what I learned later was also a domination factor. Jake wasn't ever submissive in a true sense, but he'd be submissive to get what he wanted."

"So what did you do?" Garcia asked.

"I spent a year trying to deny myself that while Haley and I were trying to get pregnant. I tried and then in what should have seen a really stupid move, I kissed someone. I kissed someone that I had no business kissing at all."

"What did he do?" JJ asked. 

"Freaked out. Called me out on being married, because he knew that. So I explained it all to him. He told me that he knew I wasn't the type of man to lie, but that if he found out that I was, it wasn't going to be pretty. He could have cost me my job." Aaron's leg started to bounce under the table, so Spencer reached over and squeezed it. It didn't stop but it did slow down. He debated keeping it there but decided against it. He lifted his hand up and Aaron's fingernails dug into his thigh so he laid his hand back down and the hand relaxed. 

"What did he do?" JJ asked. 

Spencer was shocked they hadn't asked who. They had a lot more resistance than he did. He probably would have asked who long before now.

"We had sex. The next day, I took him to meet Haley "

"Meet her? Why?" Will asked. 

Spencer looked at the faces of each of the people there. Morgan was acting like it was all new and Rossi was just sitting there, kind of smirking. No one on the team was shocked that he knew any of it, Reid figured. Rossi knew it all, especially when it came to Aaron. Well, not more than Spencer, but close enough.

"Jake and Haley were friends." Aaron sighed and sat up a little straighter in his seat. "Jake was a really good cook so he helped teach her weird dishes when I was gone on cases. It was an affair yes and one that Haley consented and knew about, but there was no way I was having my new paramour, as Haley called him, slapped in her face. Jake had been friends with us before his and I's relationship changed. She knew him going into it and I wasn't going to deny her the right to know my new lover if she wanted to know him. She took to him like a mother. It was a little strange to wrap my mind around at first. Then again he seemed so innocent and young. It wasn't until later that I realized that no one ever saw the real him."

"When was this?" JJ asked. 

"Blue Ridge Strangler, the first time." Aaron tensed as he said it and waited. No one jumped up and put the pieces together. Spencer wondered exactly what they were thinking. He wished at that moment that he could read minds. Rossi was still just kind of looking at Aaron, probably trying to figure out who would figure it out first. Morgan was just looking at Aaron. His face was emotionless, which if the girls had been paying any attention they would have seen.

"Reid, wasn't that your first case?" Garcia asked."

"Yes." Spencer nodded as he reached over to grab the glass of water that was at his place. He started eating again but made sure to eat slowly. His stomach was in knots and he didn't want to upset it.

"So why are you telling us this?" Prentiss asked. 

"He and I have had this arrangement for seven years."

"Seven years?" Garcia and Prentiss asked as the same time. 

"Rossi, Morgan, you two are silent over there," JJ pointed out.

"I've known about Jake since I first met Aaron. And it didn't take me long after I re-joined the BAU to figure out that he still had something going on with someone." Rossi looked smug but he didn't look at 

"Morgan?" Prentiss asked.

"I found out about this all a few weeks back. I think that's why this is going on." Morgan kind of smiled. He looked at Prentiss, then JJ then Garcia. "Rossi and I knew and he didn't like not telling the rest of you."

"Haley never...she made it plain why you were divorcing. I heard it time and again. She never mentioned this," JJ said. Aaron frowned and Spencer knew it was because he knew that Haley had been horrible to JJ during the divorce. She'd never talked to him about it, never used him to try and force Aaron into doing something that he didn't want to do. If she had been as bad as she seemed, she would have. Aaron would have done anything to keep him quiet for the sake of his job. 

"Haley liked who I was with. She adored him, and I don't think she wanted to hurt him at all. I think she would have done anything to keep him from getting hurt. I think in the end that it was the only reason besides her own guilt at not being able to handle that side of me that kept her silent about him during the divorce."

"You keep saying him. I'm not a profiler but you go out of your way to speak in generalities." Will was looking at Aaron but his gaze slipped to Spencer. Spencer smiled slightly at him. He gave the man points for figuring it out before the girls. He wasn't sure what gave it away, but the girls were using their own colored thinking of Spencer to not even consider him.

"It was the only lapse in my judgement in my career that I will say has been the greatest thing in my life. Somewhere along the way I fell in love, and thankfully, he fell in love as well." Aaron's hand on his thigh rubbed slightly. Spencer reciprocated the movement. Aaron smiled a little. 

"You are silent, Reid. I figured you'd have all kinds of questions. A relationship outside of the normal pattern and accepted rules of society. It's right up your alley to get you all kinds of interested." Prentiss kind of poked him in the shoulder. She gasped a second later and Spencer turned to see that she was looking at his leg, where Aaron's hand was still resting. Her gaze shifted to Aaron's leg where his own hand was.

"Prentiss?" Morgan questioned. He was smiling as he asked it but the woman never looked up at him. Her gaze was centered on where Aaron and Spencer were touching. 

"Blue Ridge was your first case? Like first time going out at all?" Prentiss asked. Spencer nodded. "And it was about seven years ago?"

Spencer nodded again. He could see the thoughts in her eyes as she figured it out. He really hoped that she didn't hit him. She'd seen him do it to Morgan when she was super excited and he was in her path.

"So pretty much from the moment you joined the team?" Prentiss was just gobsmacked. 

"Emily?" Garcia asked. She was looking between Spencer and Prentiss, back and forth, back and forth. JJ was just looking at Prentiss and Will, Will was staring right at Aaron. There seemed to be some kind of conversation going on because Aaron nodded at the cop when Spencer looked at him. 

"Is Hotch the one who gave you that scar on your shoulder?" Prentiss asked as she pointed at where the scar was on his shoulder.

"Yes." Spencer narrowed his eyes at her. She at least looked a little sheepish at that.

The sound of someone spitting liquid drew Spencer's gaze from her to JJ. Will was helping her clean up the wine she has sprayed on the table as well as trying to make sure she didn't drop the glass in her hand. 

"You? Spence, you and Hotch from that...what?" JJ looked like she might just faint from not being able to breathe. 

"He took me to talk to Haley the day after we got back from the case. She eased my fears and we talked, for a long time. I liked her a great deal and she seemed to like me, I didn't realize how much until long after. After the divorce, she still talked to me and I met up with her and Jack a few times. Before going into hiding during the Foyet scare she called me to make sure that I tried to keep Aaron from going insane while Jack and her were gone. I think that she knew before we acknowledged it that we loved each other. I tried to understand why she would even call me while going into hiding. It wasn't until after I acknowledged my feelings and Aaron's that it all made sense."

"Love?" JJ questioned. 

Spencer ducked his head a little and smiled. But Aaron spoke before he could.

"I fully accepted it after the case in Vegas. Spencer was slower in seeing it, accepting it."

Morgan snorted and before Spencer could even think about what he was doing he picked up a piece of roasted potatoes from his plate and threw it at him. It hit Morgan square in the forehead and the look on his face was priceless. It broke the tension in the room as a few snickers were heard from those around them.

"I will not defend your honor when you provoke him like that," Aaron said in a dead serious tone. Spencer just stuck his tongue out at him. His lover smiled and squeezed his thigh. Garcia giggled. Rossi laughed and Morgan just huffed. He didn't respond to what Spencer had done or what Aaron had said though.

"So when exactly did you see this scar on Spencer?" JJ asked looking at Prentiss. 

"Anthrax. He was asleep and his gown had slipped. I didn't ask, but I wondered. I wasn't going to ask because it looked like someone had bit him hard, and I knew that he was very private. Knowing this though, I wish I would have. Cause I have to say, Sir, that the thought of the two of you having sex together is very hot." Prentiss was looking right at Aaron as she said it and Aaron just smirked at her. 

"So exactly why are you telling us this now?" JJ acted like she hadn't just heard those words from Prentiss's mouth but the slight blush on her cheeks gave her away. 

"Because they have finally admitted feeling more than lust for each other." Rossi was smirking at Aaron. "I figure so they don't have to hide since it's more than sex now. It's an actual relationship with mushy feelings involved."

"And how does Jack feel about this?" Garcia asked. 

"That's where I think Haley realized it before Aaron and I. She kept me in contact with him and before they went into hiding even had a meal with all four of us. She got me used to him by forcing him on me. She had me feed him in a restaurant when he was a baby!" Spencer still felt a shiver when he thought about that. It was good practice for Henry but he hadn't liked it at the time. "Aaron isn't much better. He invited me over a while back and did not tell me it was for a movie night with him and Jack instead of sex." Spencer knew that he was pouting but he didn't care. JJ looked at him with a soft smile on her face while Prentiss just looked at him and let him know that he wasn't fooling her. 

"Instead of just sex, Spencer," Aaron said softly as he leaned over and kissed his cheek. Spencer closed his eyes and rubbed their cheeks together. 

"You’re next for a potato to the head," Spencer said to him. Aaron laughed as he pulled back. Spencer was glad that he didn't go for more than that, because he wasn't sure where he stood on public displays of affection, and just that little bit was making him a little nervous.

"I have not seen you like this before," Garcia said looking at Spencer.

"That's because I bring it out in him. He has quite a mouth on him when he's passionate about things." The smirk on his face made sure that they all knew exactly what he was talking about. Spencer squeezed his thigh but the older man just ignored him. 

"You knew two years ago?" Morgan asked.

"Yes. And I kept my mouth shut because from the beginning, Spencer has not even tried dating. He wasn't interested in it and even Haley dropped it after a while. He was happy alone, as it were, and was content with a purely sexual relationship. Even after Haley and I divorced. I hadn't meant to tell him I loved him when I did a few weeks back. It was a slip of the tongue and it sent Spencer running to Morgan. Hence why Morgan knows. Of course, he talked to Spencer and then in a spark of what I was sure was insanity, sent him back to me without Spencer knowing it. I don't know what he said to him."

"That he was in idiot. The way he talked about you before I knew it was you, there was no way for me to miss that he loved you as well." Morgan smiled. "He just needed to talk. I think he'd have realized it on his own even if he was talking to a plant. If he had been talking to a plant though, he would have stayed wherever he was instead of going to you, so I think it worked out for the best in the end."

"So you had us come here because?" Prentiss asked.

"I was sure that I'd be strung up by my toes?" Aaron said. He said it laughingly but there was that worry in his eyes. Spencer let go of his thigh and linked his hand with the one on his thigh. Prentiss was the only one that could have seen it but she hopefully wouldn't say a thing. 

"He's happy and I knew that something had been changing with him, but I wasn't sure what. I just thought that he met someone not that he had someone." JJ smiled as she took a sip of her wine. "I just want to know how you two hid this for seven years?"

"Because for the first while it was just sex. A way to relieve stress. After things had started to go bad withr Haley did feelings start. I figure that anything that slipped over into work was just taken as friendship. Given the amount of time we all spend together familiarity on the level we have would just be seen as work related." 

"What does this mean for the team?" Garcia looked a little worried. 

"Dave's going to take over Spencer's assessments and such. It's something that I discussed with Strauss as part of lessening my work load since we are short JJ, and I have to take over a more active role to cover her duties." 

"How does it lessen anything? That's just one person!" Garcia asked.

"Because Reid does more work than even Aaron," Rossi said. The rest of the team looked at Rossi like he was insane. The older agent laughed. "You guys don't pay attention to what he is working on throughout the day do you?"

"No," Morgan and Prentiss answered while JJ and Garcia just shook their heads.

"The FBI is very interested in keeping his name in the academic scene. He publishes papers in the hard and soft sciences. He is given work time to work on it, after he's finished his daily BAU work and the consults from other departments and other lettered agencies. Even cold cases from other stations around the country are sent in and he looks at them. He's cleared thirty eight cold cases this year with the help of DNA and other new methods of evidence examination and just his big old brain. He's busy. Me taking over his assessments and handling what he does will take a very big load off of Aaron. Every single thing that he does has to be looked over by his Unit Chief before it can be sent back to where it belongs. At least an hour of work a day that Hotch does is clearing what Reid finished the day before, and what he's done that day as well. He's been going over it all with me. Then I realized exactly how high up Reid's clearance with other agencies goes and I had to get mine to match. He took over the things that Gideon used to do for the CIA."

"You do all of that?" Garcia asked.

"Cases interest me. I work on them when I have spare time. I work on papers very little at the office unless I am using cases as a basis for them. I do most of those at home. Strauss loves to be able to put my name out there as a lure to get more academic minded people into the FBI. She'd like one of me for every BAU team, but it's harder than she thinks to get people like me."

"What do you mean?"

"Someone with anywhere near my IQ, reading speed, and memory are destined for the academics. With me, my mom and my memory of the Riley Jenkins case is what drew me to the FBI and the BAU. It's a perfect storm, but for others, what would draw them to this is a perverse fascination with it and would lead to a killer on our hands."

"I still hold that Reid could commit the perfect murder, multiple times and we'd never know," Rossi said with a smile. He shrugged when the others turned to stare at him. Rossi had a self satisfied smirk on his face. "He could probably send us on a coast to coast chase after a ghost that doesn't exist."

Spencer didn't answer and the others just stared at him. The ring of Aaron's phone had them all cringe. He answered it and thirty seconds in mimed eating fast. That meant a case. That meant the meal was done. So the team started to shove food into their mouths. JJ and Will ate fast as well. 

"I'll call Jessica. It's a child abduction in an area where the last was killed twenty four hours after their abduction. Missing an hour and it'll be two until we get there. Garcia, get all the information transferred to the tablets. JJ, Will, thank you for coming."

"Hotch," JJ said as Aaron stood up from the table with his plate in hand. "I'm happy for you both. Not happy it was kept from us for so long, but I understand why. Just keep him happy."

"I will," Aaron promised.

The rest of the team filed out and Spencer stood when they were gone. The plug shifted inside of him and he looked at Aaron in shock. Aaron smirked a little and his hand moved to the collar.

"You'll have to remove them both on the plane. There is no time. The jet will be waiting. You drove my car right?" 

"Yes."

"Good. I have that go bag from last case in my trunk of yours so you'll be fine." Aaron pulled him close and kissed him. Spencer settled into the kiss. He was happy that the team had accepted them. Spencer cupped the side of Aaron's face as he deepened the kiss a little. Aaron responded by reaching down and grabbing an ass cheek. Spencer jerked out of his hold and moved away from him. 

"You!" Spencer slapped his chest and moved out of the dining room. He found Morgan and JJ standing at the door and he moved over to them. Ignoring Aaron when he came out of the dining room and called his name. Spencer moved right to the car and sat down in the driver's seat. Morgan moved over to the window and tapped.

"Yes?"

"I drove with Garcia, can I catch a ride with you?" Morgan asked.

"Sure." Spencer turned his head and looked at Aaron. "Hotch, you riding with us?"

"I think I'll catch a ride with Dave."

"I'll ride with you Reid!" Prentiss called out with a smile on her face. Once she was in the car, Spencer started it up and drove away. The entire ride to the jet was filled with Prentiss trying to get details from Spencer. He just smiled and smirked at her.  
**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, sometime in 2017, look for Rough Romance. The sequel to this story.


End file.
